白噪音(White Noise) (英文版)作者:唐·德里罗(Don DeLillo)-第7部分

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　　〃Don't　ask　me。　Ask　Denise。〃
　　〃How　do　you　know　she　uses　anything？〃
　　〃Ask　Denise。〃
　　〃Why　don't　I　ask　Baba？〃
　　〃Ask　Baba；〃　she　said。
　　Murray　came　out　of　an　aisle　and　walked　alongside　Babette；　just　ahead　of　us。　He　took　a　twin　roll　of　paper　towels　out　of　her　cart　and　smelled　it。　Denise　had　found　some　friends　and　they　went　up　front　to　look　at　the　paperback　books　in　spindly　racks；　the　books　with　shiny　metallic　print；　raised　letters；　vivid　illustrations　of　cult　violence　and　windswept　romance。　Denise　was　wearing　a　green　visor。　I　heard　Babette　tell　Murray　she'd　been　wearing　it　fourteen　hours　a　day　for　three　weeks　now。　She　would　not　go　out　without　it；　would　not　even　leave　her　room。　She　wore　it　in　school；　when　there　was　school；　wore　it　to　the　toilet；　the　dentist's　chair；　the　dinner　table。　Something　about　the　visor　seemed　to　speak　to　her；　to　offer　wholeness　and　identity。
　　〃It's　her　interface　with　the　world；〃　Murray　said。
　　He　helped　Babette　push　her　loaded　cart。　I　heard　him　say　to　her；　〃Tibetans　believe　there　is　a　transitional　state　between　death　and　rebirth。　Death　is　a　waiting　period；　basically。　Soon　a　fresh　womb　will　receive　the　soul。　In　the　meantime　the　soul　restores　to　itself　some　of　the　divinity　lost　at　birth。〃　He　studied　her　profile　as　if　to　detect　a　reaction。　〃That's　what　I　think　of　whenever　I　e　in　here。　This　place　recharges　us　spiritually；　it　prepares　us；　it's　a　gateway　or　pathway。　Look　how　bright。　It's　full　of　psychic　data。〃
　　My　wife　smiled　at　him。
　　〃Everything　is　concealed　in　symbolism；　hidden　by　veils　of　mystery　and　layers　of　cultural　material。　But　it　is　psychic　data；　absolutely。　The　large　doors　slide　open；　they　close　unbidden。　Energy　waves；　incident　radiation。　All　the　letters　and　numbers　are　here；　all　the　colors　of　the　spectrum；　all　the　voices　and　sounds；　all　the　code　words　and　ceremonial　phrases。　It　is　just　a　question　of　deciphering；　rearranging；　peeling　off　the　layers　of　unspeakability。　Not　that　we　would　want　to；　not　that　any　useful　purpose　would　be　served。　This　is　not　Tibet。　Even　Tibet　is　not　Tibet　anymore。〃
　　He　studied　her　profile。　She　put　some　yogurt　in　her　cart。
　　〃Tibetans　try　to　see　death　for　what　it　is。　It　is　the　end　of　attachment　to　things。　This　simple　truth　is　hard　to　fathom。　But　once　we　stop　denying　death；　we　can　proceed　calmly　to　die　and　then　go　on　to　experience　uterine　rebirth　or　Judeo…Christian　afterlife　or　out…of…body　experience　or　a　trip　on　a　UFO　or　whatever　we　wish　to　call　it。　We　can　do　so　with　clear　vision；　without　awe　or　terror。　We　don't　have　to　cling　to　life　artificially；　or　to　death　for　that　matter。　We　simply　walk　toward　the　sliding　doors。　Waves　and　radiation。　Look　how　well…lighted　everything　is。　The　place　is　sealed　off；　self…contained。　It　is　timeless。　Another　reason　why　I　think　of　Tibet。　Dying　is　an　art　in　Tibet。　A　priest　walks　in；　sits　down；　tells　the　weeping　relatives　to　get　out　and　has　the　room　sealed。　Doors；　windows　sealed。　He　has　serious　business　to　see　to。　Chants；　numerology；　horoscopes；　recitations。　Here　we　don't　die；　we　shop。　But　the　difference　is　less　marked　than　you　think。〃
　　He　was　almost　whispering　now　and　I　tried　to　get　up　closer　without　ramming　my　cart　into　Babette's。　I　wanted　to　hear　everything。
　　〃Supermarkets　this　large　and　clean　and　modern　are　a　revelation　to　me。　I　spent　my　life　in　small　steamy　delicatessens　with　slanted　display　cabinets　full　of　trays　that　hold　soft　wet　lumpy　matter　in　pale　colors。　High　enough　cabinets　so　you　had　to　stand　on　tiptoes　to　give　your　order。　Shouts；　accents。　In　cities　no　one　notices　specific　dying。　Dying　is　a　quality　of　the　air。　It's　everywhere　and　nowhere。　Men　shout　as　they　die；　to　be　noticed；　remembered　for　a　second　or　two。　To　die　in　an　apartment　instead　of　a　house　can　depress　the　soul；　I　would　imagine；　for　several　lives　to　e。　In　a　town　there　are　houses；　plants　in　bay　windows。　People　notice　dying　better。　The　dead　have　faces；　automobiles。　If　you　don't　know　a　name；　you　know　a　street　name；　a　dog's　name。　'He　drove　an　orange　Mazda。'
　　You　know　a　couple　of　useless　things　about　a　person　that　bee　major　facts　of　identification　and　cosmic　placement　when　he　dies　suddenly；　after　a　short　illness；　in　his　own　bed；　with　a　forter　and　matching　pillows；　on　a　rainy　Wednesday　afternoon；　feverish；　a　little　congested　in　the　sinuses　and　chest；　thinking　about　his　dry　cleaning。〃
　　Babette　said；　〃Where　is　Wilder？〃　and　turned　to　stare　at　me　in　a　way　that　suggested　ten　minutes　had　passed　since　she'd　last　seen　him。　Other　looks；　less　pensive　and　less　guilty；　indicated　greater　time　spans；　deeper　seas　of　inattention。　Like：　〃I　didn't　know　whales　were　mammals。〃　The　greater　the　time　span；　the　blanker　the　look；　the　more　dangerous　the　situation。　It　was　as　if　guilt　were　a　luxury　she　allowed　herself　only　when　the　danger　was　minimal。
　　〃How　could　he　get　out　of　the　cart　without　my　noticing？〃
　　The　three　adults　each　stood　at　the　head　of　an　aisle　and　peered　into　the　traffic　of　carts　and　gliding　bodies。　Then　we　did　three　more　aisles；　heads　set　forward；　weaving　slightly　as　we　changed　our　sightlines。　I　kept　seeing　colored　spots　off　to　the　right　but　when　I　turned　there　was　nothing　there。　I'd　been　seeing　colored　spots　for　years　but　never　so　many；　so　gaily　animated。　Murray　saw　Wilder　in　another　woman's　cart。　The　woman　waved　at　Babette　and　headed　toward　us。　She　lived　on　our　street　with　a　teenage　daughter　and　an　Asian　baby；　Chun　Duc。　Everyone　referred　to　the　baby　by　name；　almost　in　a　tone　of　proud　proprietorship；　but　no　one　knew　who　Chun　belonged　to　or　where　he　or　she　had　e　from。
　　〃Kleenex　Softique；　Kleenex　Softique。〃
　　Steffie　was　holding　my　hand　in　a　way　I'd　e　to　realize；　over　a　period　of　time；　was　not　meant　to　be　gently　possessive；　as　I'd　thought　at　first；　but　reassuring。　I　was　a　little　astonished。　A　firm　grip　that　would　help　me　restore　confidence　in　myself；　keep　me　from　being　resigned　to　whatever　melancholy　moods　she　thought　she　detected　hovering　about　my　person。
　　Before　Murray　went　to　the　express　line　he　invited　us　to　dinner；　a　week　from　Saturday。
　　〃You　don't　have　to　let　me　know　till　the　last　minute。〃
　　〃We'll　be　there；〃　Babette　said。
　　〃I'm　not　preparing　anything　major；　so　just　call　beforehand　and　tell　me　if　something　else　came　up。　You　don't　even　have　to　call。　If　you　don't　show　up；　I'll　know　that　something　came　up　and　you　couldn't　let　me　know。〃
　　〃Murray；　we'll　be　there。〃
　　〃Bring　the　kids。〃
　　〃No。〃
　　〃Great。　But　if　you　decide　to　bring　them；　no　problem。　I　don't　want　you　to　feel　I'm　holding　you　to　something。　Don't　feel　you've　made　an　ironclad　mitment。　You'll　show　up　or　you　won't。　I　have　to　eat　anyway；　so　there's　no　major　catastrophe　if　something　es　up　and　you　have　to　cancel。　I　just　want　you　to　know　I'll　be　there　if　you　decide　to　drop　by；　with　or　without　kids。　We　have　till　next　May　or　June　to　do　this　thing　so　there's　no　special　mystique　about　a　week　from　Saturday。〃
　　〃Are　you　ing　back　next　semester？〃　I　said。
　　'They　want　me　to　teach　a　course　in　the　cinema　of　car　crashes。〃
　　〃Do　it。〃
　　〃I　will。〃
　　I　rubbed　against　Babette　in　the　checkout　line。　She　backed　into　me　and　I　reached　around　her　and　put　my　hands　on　her　breasts。　She　rotated　her　hips　and　I　nuzzled　her　hair　and　murmured；　〃Dirty　blond。〃　People　wrote　checks；　tall　boys　bagged　the　merchandise。　Not　everyone　spoke　English　at　the　cash　terminals；　or　near　the　fruit　bins　and　frozen　foods；　or　out　among　the　cars　in　the　lot。　More　and　more　I　heard　languages　I　could　not　identify　much　less　understand；　although　the　tall　boys　were　American…born　and　the　checkout　women　as　well；　short；　fattish　in　blue　tunics；　wearing　stretch　slacks　and　tiny　white　espadrilles。　I　tried　to　fit　my　hands　into　Babette's　skirt；　over　her　belly；　as　the　slowly　moving　line　edged　toward　the　last　purchase　point；　the　breath　mints　and　nasal　inhalers。
　　It　was　out　in　the　parking　lot　that　we　heard　the　first　of　the　rumors　about　a　man　dying　during　the　inspection　of　the　grade　school；　one　of　the　masked　and　Mylex…suited　men；　heavy…booted　and　bulky。　Collapsed　and　died；　went　the　story　that　was　going　around；　in　a　classroom　on　the　second　floor。
　　10
　　Tuition　at　the　College…on…the…Hill　is　fourteen　thousand　dollars；　Sunday　brunch　included。　I　sense　there　is　a　connection　between　this　powerful　number　and　the　way　the　students　arrange　themselves　physically　in　the　reading　areas　of　the　library。　They　sit　on　broad　cushioned　seats　in　various　kinds　of　ungainly　posture；　clearly　calculated　to　be　the　identifying　signs　of　some　kinship　group　or　secret　organization。　They　are　fetal；　splayed；　knock…kneed；　arched；　square…knotted；　sometimes　almost　upside…down。　The　positions　are　so　studied　they　amount　to　a　classical　mime。　There　is　an　element　of　overrefinement　and　inbreeding。　Sometimes　I　feel　I've　wandered　into　a　Far　Eastern　dream；　too　remote　to　be　interpreted。　But　it　is　only　the　language　of　economic　class　they　are　speaking；　in　one　of　its　allowable　outward　forms；　like　the　convocation　of　station　wagons　at　the　start　of　the　year。
　　Denise　watched　her　mother　pull　the　little　cellophane　ribbon　on　a　bonus　pack　of　sixteen　individually　wrapped　units　of　chewing　gum。　Her　eyes　narrowed　as　she　turned　back　to　the　address　books　on　the　kitchen　table　before　her。　The　eleven…year…old　face　was　an　expert　mask　of　restrained　exasperation。
　　She　waited　a　long　moment；　then　said　evenly；　〃That　stuff　causes　cancer　in　laboratory　animals　in　case　you　didn't　know。〃
　　〃You　wanted　me　to　chew　sugarless　gum；　Denise。　It　was　your　idea。〃
　　〃There　was　no　warning　on　the　pack　then。　They　put　a　warning；　which　I　would　have　a　hard　time　believing　you　didn't　see。〃
　　She　was　transcribing　names　and　phone　numbers　from　an　old　book　to　a　new　one。　There　were　no　addresses。　Her　friends　had　phone　numbers　only；　a　race　of　people　with　a　seven…bit　analog　consciousness。
　　〃I'm　happy　to　do　it　either　way；〃　Babette　said。　〃It's　totally　up　to　you。　Either　I　chew　gum　with　sugar　and　artificial　coloring　or　I　chew　sugarless　and　colorless　gum　that's　harmful　to　rats。〃
　　Steffie　got　off　the　phone。　〃Don't　chew　at　all；〃　she　said。　〃Did　you　ever　think　of　that？〃
　　Babette　was　breaking　eggs　into　a　wooden　salad　bowl。　She　gave　me　a　look　that　wondered　how　the　girl　could　talk　on　the　phone　and　listen　to　us　at　the　same　time。　I　wanted　to　say　because　she　finds　us　interesting。
　　Babette　said　to　the