少年维特之烦恼(英文版)-第21部分
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my wretched being。 I could scarcely reach my room。 I threw myself on my
knees ； and Heaven ， for the last time， granted me the consolation
of shedding tears。 A thousand ideas ， a thousand schemes ， arose within
my soul ； till at length one last， fixed， final thought took possession
of my heart。 It was to die。 I lay down to rest； and in the morning ，
in the quiet hour of awakening， the same determination was upon me。 To
die ！ It is not despair： it is conviction that I have filled up the
measure of my sufferings， that I have reached my appointed term， and
must sacrifice myself for thee。 Yes ， Charlotte， why should I not avow
it？ One of us three must die ： it shall be Werther。 O beloved Charlotte！
this heart， excited by rage and fury ， has often conceived the horrid
idea of murdering your husband—— you—— myself ！ The lot is cast at
length。 And in the bright ， quiet evenings of summer ， when you sometimes
wander toward the mountains ， let your thoughts then turn to me： recollect
how often you have watched me ing to meet you from the valley； then
bend your eyes upon the churchyard which contains my grave， and， by
the light of the setting sun， mark how the evening breeze waves the tall
grass which grows above my tomb。 I was calm when I began this letter，
but the recollection of these scenes makes me weep like a child。〃 About
ten in the morning， Werther called his servant ， and， whilst he was
dressing， told him that in a few days he intended to set out upon a journey，
and bade him therefore lay his clothes in order ， and prepare them for
packing up， call in all his accounts ， fetch home the books he had lent，
and give two months' pay to the poor dependants who were accustomed to
receive from him a weekly allowance。
He breakfasted in his room， and then mounted his horse ， and went
to visit the steward， who， however， was not at home。 He walked pensively
in the garden ， and seemed anxious to renew all the ideas that were most
painful to him。
The children did not suffer him to remain alone long。 They followed
him ， skipping and dancing before him， and told him ， that after to…morrow
and tomorrow and one day more ， they were to receive their Christmas
gift from Charlotte ； and they then recounted all the wonders of which
they had formed ideas in their child imaginations。 〃Tomorrow and tomorrow，
〃 said he ， 〃and one day more！〃 And he kissed them tenderly。 He was
going ； but the younger boy stopped him， to whisper something in his
ear。 He told him that his elder brothers had written splendid New…Year's
wishes so large ！ one for papa ， and another for Albert and Charlotte，
and one for Werther ； and they were to be presented early in the morning，
on New Year's Day。 This quite overcame him。 He made each of the children
a present ， mounted his horse， left his pliments for papa and mamma，
and ， with tears in his eyes ， rode away from the place。
He returned home about five o'clock ， ordered his servant to keep
up his fire ， desired him to pack his books and linen at the bottom of
the trunk ， and to place his coats at the top。 He then appears to have
made the following addition to the letter addressed to Charlotte：
〃You do not expect me。 You think I will obey you， and not visit you
again till Christmas Eve。 O Charlotte ， today or never ！ On Christmas
Eve you will hold this paper in your hand ； you will tremble ， and moisten
it with your tears。 I will—— I must ！ Oh ， how happy I feel to be
determined！〃
In the meantime ， Charlotte was in a pitiable state of mind。 After
her last conversation with Werther， she found how painful to herself
it would be to decline his visits ， and knew how severely he would suffer
from their separation。
She had ， in conversation with Albert， mentioned casually that Werther
would not return before Christmas Eve ； and soon afterward Albert went
on horseback to see a person in the neighbourhood ， with whom he had
to transact some business which would detain him all night。
Charlotte was sitting alone。 None of her family were near ， and she
gave herself up to the reflections that silently took possession of her
mind。 She was for ever united to a husband whose love and fidelity she
had proved， to whom she was heartily devoted ， and who seemed to be
a special gift from Heaven to ensure her happiness。 On the other hand ，
Werther had bee dear to her。 There was a cordial unanimity of sentiment
between them from the very first hour of their acquaintance ， and their
long association and repeated interviews had made an indelible impression
upon her heart。 She had been accustomed to municate to him every thought
and feeling which interested her， and his absence threatened to open
a void in her existence which it might be impossible to fill。 How heartily
she wished that she might change him into her brother ，—— that she
could induce him to marry one of her own friends， or could reestablish
his intimacy with Albert。
She passed all her intimate friends in review before her mind ， but
found something objectionable in each ， and could decide upon none to
whom she would consent to give him。
Amid all these considerations she felt deeply but indistinctly that
her own real but unexpressed wish was to retain him for herself ， and
her pure and amiable heart felt from this thought a sense of oppression
which seemed to forbid a prospect of happiness。 She was wretched： a dark
cloud obscured her mental vision。
It was now half…past six o'clock， and she heard Werther's step on
the stairs。 She at once recognised his voice， as he inquired if she were
at home。 Her heart beat audibly —— we could almost say for the first
time—— at his arrival。 It was too late to deny herself； and， as he
entered ， she exclaimed， with a sort of ill concealed confusion ， 〃You
have not kept your word ！〃 〃I promised nothing ，〃 he answered。 〃But
you should have plied， at least for my sake ，〃 she continued。 〃 I
implore you ， for both our sakes。〃
She scarcely knew what she said or did； and sent for some friends，
who ， by their presence， might prevent her being left alone with Werther。
He put down some books he had brought with him， then made inquiries about
some others ， until she began to hope that her friends might arrive shortly，
entertaining at the same time a desire that they might stay away。
At one moment she felt anxious that the servant should remain in the
adjoining room， then she changed her mind。 Werther ， meanwhile， walked
impatiently up and down。 She went to the piano， and determined not to
retire。 She then collected her thoughts ， and sat down quietly at Werther's
side， who had taken his usual place on the sofa。
〃Have you brought nothing to read ？〃 she inquired。 He had nothing。
〃There in my drawer ，〃 she continued ， 〃you will find your own translation
of some of the songs of Ossian。 I have not yet read them， as I have still
hoped to hear you recite them ； but， for some time past ， I have not
been able to acplish such a wish。〃 He smiled ， and went for the manuscript，
which he took with a shudder。 He sat down ； and， with eyes full of tears，
he began to read。
〃Star of descending night ！ fair is thy light in the west！ thou
liftest thy unshorn head from thy cloud ； thy steps are stately on thy
hill。 What dost thou behold in the plain？ The stormy winds are laid。
The murmur of the torrent es from afar。 Roaring waves climb the distant
rock。 The flies of evening are on their feeble wings： the hum of their
course is on the field。 What dost thou behold ， fair light ？ But thou
dost smile and depart。 The waves e with joy around thee： they bathe
thy lovely hair。 Farewell ， thou silent beam ！ Let the light of Ossian's
soul arise！
〃And it does arise in its strength！ I behold my departed friends。
Their gathering is on Lora， as in the days of other years。 Fingal es
like a watery column of mist！ his heroes are around： and see the bards
of song ， gray…haired Ullin！ stately Ryno ！ Alpin with the tuneful
voice ： the soft plaint of Minona ！ How are ye changed ， my friends，
since the days of Selma's feast ！ when we contended， like gales of spring
as they fly along the hill， and bend by turns the feebly whistling grass。
〃Minona came forth in her beauty， with downcast look and tearful
eye。 Her hair was flying slowly with the blast that rushed unfrequent
from the hill。 The souls of the heroes were sad when she raised the tuneful
voice。 Oft had they seen the grave of Salgar， the dark dwelling of white…bosomed
Colma。 Colma left alone on the hill with all her voice of song！ Salgar
promised to e！ but the night descended around。 Hear the voice of Colma，
when she sat alone on the hill！
〃Colma。 It is night ： I am alone ， forlorn on the hill of storms。
The wind is heard on the mountain。 The torrent is howling down the rock。
No hut receives me from the rain： forlorn on the hill of winds ！
〃Rise moon！ from behind thy clouds。 Stars of the night ， arise！
Lead me ， some light ， to the place where my love rests from the chase
alone ！ His bow near him unstrung， his dogs panting around him！ But
here I must sit alone by the rock of the mossy stream。 The stream and
the wind roar aloud。 I hear not the voice of my love！ Why delays my Salgar
； why the chief of the hill his promise？ Here is the rock and here the
tree！ here is the roaring stream ！ Thou didst promise with night to
be here。 Ah ！ whither is my Salgar gone？ With thee I would fly from
my father ， with thee from my brother of pride。 Our race have long been
foes： we are not foes， O Salgar ！
〃Cease a little while ， O wind ！ stream ， be thou silent awhile！
let my voice be heard around！ let my wanderer hear me！ Salgar ！ it
is Colma who calls。 Here is the tree and the rock。 Salgar ， my love，
I am here ！ Why delayest thou thy ing ？ Lo ！ the calm moon es
forth。 The flood is bright in the vale。 The rocks are gray on the steep。
I see him not on the brow。 His dogs e not before him with tidings of
his near approach。
