the red badge of courage(红色英勇勋章)-第14部分
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'Mebbe they will；' I ses； 'but I don't b'lieve none of it；' I ses； 'an' b'jiminey；'
I ses back t' 'um； 'mebbe your fellers 'll all run like hell when they onct
hearn a gun；' I ses。 He larfed。 Well； they didn't run t' day； did they； hey？
No； sir！ They fit； an' fit； an' fit。〃
His homely face was suffused with a light of love for the army which
was to him all things beautiful and powerful。
After a time he turned to the youth。 〃Where yeh hit； ol' boy？〃 he
asked in a brotherly tone。
The youth felt instant panic at this question； although at first its full
import was not borne in upon him。
〃What？〃 he asked。
〃Where yeh hit？〃 repeated the tattered man。
〃Why；〃 began the youth； 〃IIthat is whyI〃
He turned away suddenly and slid through the crowd。 His brow was
heavily flushed； and his fingers were picking nervously at one of his
buttons。 He bent his head and fastened his eyes studiously upon the
button as if it were a little problem。
The tattered man looked after him in aston… ishment。
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CHAPTER IX。
THE youth fell back in the procession until the tattered soldier was
not in sight。 Then he started to walk on with the others。
But he was amid wounds。 The mob of men was bleeding。 Because
of the tattered soldier's question he now felt that his shame could be
viewed。 He was continually casting sidelong glances to see if the men
were contemplating the letters of guilt he felt burned into his brow。
At times he regarded the wounded soldiers in an envious way。 He
conceived persons with torn bodies to be peculiarly happy。 He wished
that he； too； had a wound； a red badge of cour… age。
The spectral soldier was at his side like a stalking reproach。 The
man's eyes were still fixed in a stare into the unknown。 His gray；
appalling face had attracted attention in the crowd； and men； slowing to
his dreary pace； were walking with him。 They were discussing his plight；
questioning him and giving him advice。
91 In a dogged way he repelled them； signing to them to go on and
leave him alone。 The shadows of his face were deepening and his tight
lips seemed holding in check the moan of great despair。 There could be
seen a certain stiffness in the movements of his body； as if he were taking
infinite care not to arouse the passion of his wounds。 As he went on； he
seemed always look… ing for a place； like one who goes to choose a grave。
Something in the gesture of the man as he waved the bloody and
pitying soldiers away made the youth start as if bitten。 He yelled in
horror。 Tottering forward he laid a quivering hand upon the man's arm。
As the latter slowly turned his waxlike features toward him； the youth
screamed：
〃Gawd！ Jim Conklin！〃
The tall soldier made a little commonplace smile。 〃Hello； Henry；〃 he
said。
The youth swayed on his legs and glared strangely。 He stuttered and
stammered。 〃Oh； Jimoh； Jimoh； Jim〃
The tall soldier held out his gory hand。 There was a curious red and
black combination of new blood and old blood upon it。 〃Where yeh been；
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Henry？〃 he asked。 He continued in a monoto… nous voice； 〃I thought
mebbe yeh got keeled over。 There 's been thunder t' pay t'…day。 I was
worryin' about it a good deal。〃
The youth still lamented。 〃Oh； Jimoh； Jim oh； Jim〃
〃Yeh know；〃 said the tall soldier； 〃I was out there。〃 He made a
careful gesture。 〃An'； Lord； what a circus！ An'； b'jiminey； I got shot I
got shot。 Yes； b'jiminey； I got shot。〃 He reiterated this fact in a
bewildered way； as if he did not know how it came about。
The youth put forth anxious arms to assist him； but the tall soldier
went firmly on as if pro… pelled。 Since the youth's arrival as a guardian
for his friend； the other wounded men had ceased to display much interest。
They occupied them… selves again in dragging their own tragedies toward
the rear。
Suddenly； as the two friends marched on； the tall soldier seemed to be
overcome by a terror。 His face turned to a semblance of gray paste。 He
clutched the youth's arm and looked all about him； as if dreading to be
overheard。 Then he began to speak in a shaking whisper：
〃I tell yeh what I'm 'fraid of； HenryI 'll tell yeh what I 'm 'fraid of。 I
'm 'fraid I 'll fall down an' then yeh knowthem damned artillery
wagonsthey like as not 'll run over me。 That 's what I 'm 'fraid of〃
The youth cried out to him hysterically： 〃I 'll take care of yeh； Jim！
I'll take care of yeh！ I swear t' Gawd I will！〃
〃Surewill yeh； Henry？〃 the tall soldier beseeched。
〃YesyesI tell yehI'll take care of yeh； Jim！〃 protested the youth。
He could not speak accurately because of the gulpings in his throat。
But the tall soldier continued to beg in a lowly way。 He now hung
babelike to the youth's arm。 His eyes rolled in the wildness of his terror。
〃I was allus a good friend t' yeh； wa'n't I； Henry？ I 've allus been a pretty
good feller； ain't I？ An' it ain't much t' ask； is it？ Jest t' pull me along
outer th' road？ I 'd do it fer you； Wouldn't I； Henry？〃
He paused in piteous anxiety to await his friend's reply。
The youth had reached an anguish where the sobs scorched him。 He
strove to express his loyalty； but he could only make fantastic gestures。
However； the tall soldier seemed suddenly to forget all those fears。
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He became again the grim； stalking specter of a soldier。 He went stonily
forward。 The youth wished his friend to lean upon him； but the other
always shook his head and strangely protested。 〃Nonono leave me
beleave me be〃
His look was fixed again upon the unknown。 He moved with
mysterious purpose； and all of the youth's offers he brushed aside。 〃No
no leave me beleave me be〃
The youth had to follow。
Presently the latter heard a voice talking softly near his shoulders。
Turning he saw that it belonged to the tattered soldier。 〃Ye 'd better take
'im outa th' road； pardner。 There 's a batt'ry comin' helitywhoop down th'
road an' he 'll git runned over。 He 's a goner anyhow in about five
minutesyeh kin see that。 Ye 'd better take 'im outa th' road。 Where th'
blazes does he git his stren'th from？〃
〃Lord knows！〃 cried the youth。 He was shaking his hands helplessly。
He ran forward presently and grasped the tall soldier by the arm。
〃Jim！ Jim！〃 he coaxed； 〃come with me。〃
The tall soldier weakly tried to wrench himself free。 〃Huh；〃 he said
vacantly。 He stared at the youth for a moment。 At last he spoke as if
dimly comprehending。 〃Oh！ Inteh th' fields？ Oh！〃
He started blindly through the grass。
The youth turned once to look at the lashing riders and jouncing guns
of the battery。 He was startled from this view by a shrill outcry from the
tattered man。
〃Gawd！ He's runnin'！〃
Turning his head swiftly； the youth saw his friend running in a
staggering and stumbling way toward a little clump of bushes。 His heart
seemed to wrench itself almost free from his body at this sight。 He made
a noise of pain。 He and the tattered man began a pursuit。 There was a
singular race。
When he overtook the tall soldier he began to plead with all the words
he could find。 〃Jim Jimwhat are you doingwhat makes you do this
wayyou 'll hurt yerself。〃
The same purpose was in the tall soldier's face。 He protested in a
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dulled way； keeping his eyes fastened on the mystic place of his intentions。
〃Nonodon't tech meleave me beleave me be〃
The youth； aghast and filled with wonder at the tall soldier； began
quaveringly to question him。 〃Where yeh goin'； Jim？ What you thinking
about？ Where you going？ Tell me； won't you； Jim？〃
The tall soldier faced about as upon relentless pursuers。 In his eyes
there was a great appeal。 〃Leave me be； can't yeh？ Leave me be fer a
minnit。〃
The youth recoiled。 〃Why； Jim；〃 he said； in a dazed way； 〃what's the
matter with you？〃
The tall soldier turned and；
