the turmoil-第39部分
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objecting to the children being taught anything except what would help them to
make money。 You said it was wasting the taxes。 You want them taught to make
a living; but not to live。 When I was a little boy this wasn't an ugly town;
now it's hideous。 What's the use of being big just to be hideous? I mean I
don't think all this has meant really going aheadit's just been getting
bigger and dirtier and noisier。 Wasn't the whole country happier and in many
ways wiser when it was smaller and cleaner and quieter and kinder? I know you
think I'm an utter fool; father; but; after all; though; aren't business and
politics just the housekeeping part of life? And wouldn't you despise a woman
that not only made her housekeeping her ambition; but did it so noisily and
dirtily that the whole neighborhood was in a continual turmoil over it? And
supposed she talked and thought about her housekeeping all the time; and was
always having additions built to her house when she couldn't keep clean what
she already had; and suppose; with it all; she made the house altogether
unpeaceful and unlivable〃
〃Just one minute!〃 Sheridan interrupted; adding; with terrible courtesy; 〃If
you will permit me? Have you ever been right about anything?〃
〃I don't quite〃
〃I ask the simple question: Have you ever been right about anything whatever
in the course of your life? Have you ever been right upon any subject or
question you've thought about and talked about? Can you mention one single
time when you were proved to be right?〃
He was flourishing the bandaged hand as he spoke; but Bibbs said only; 〃If
I've always been wrong before; surely there's more chance that I'm right about
this。 It seems reasonable to suppose something would be due to bring up my
average。〃
〃Yes; I thought you wouldn't see the point。 And there's another you probably
couldn't see; but I'll take the liberty to mention it。 You been balkin' all
your life。 Pretty much everything I ever wanted you to do; you'd let out SOME
kind of a holler; like you are nowand yet I can't seem to remember once when
you didn't have to lay down and do what I said。 But go on with your remarks
about our city and the business of this country。 Go on!〃
〃I don't want to be a part of it;〃 said Bibbs; with unwonted decision。 〃I
want to keep to myself; and I'm doing it now。 I couldn't; if I went down
there with you。 I'd be swallowed into it。 I don't care for money enought
to〃
〃No;〃 his father interrupted; still dangerously quiet。 〃You've never had to
earn a living。 Anybody could tell that by what you say。 Now; let me remind
you: you're sleepin' in a pretty good bed; you're eatin' pretty fair food;
you're wearin' pretty fine clothes。 Just suppose one o' these noisy
housekeepersme; for instancedecided to let you do your own housekeepin'。
May I ask what your proposition would be?〃
〃I'm earning nine dollars a week;〃 said Bibbs; sturdily。 〃It's enough。 I
shouldn't mind at all。〃
〃Who's payin' you that nine dollars a week?〃
〃My work!〃 Bibbs answered。 〃And I've done so well on that clipping…machine I
believe I could work up to fifteen or even twenty a week at another job。 I
could be a fair plumber in a few months; I'm sure。 I'd rather have a trade
than be in businessI should; infinitely!〃
〃You better set about learnin' one pretty dam' quick!〃 But Sheridan struggled
with his temper and again was partially successful in controlling it。 〃You
better learn a trade over Sunday; because you're either goin' down with me to
my office Monday morningoryou can go to plumbing!〃
〃All right;〃 said Bibbs; gently。 〃I can get along。〃
Sheridan raised his hands sardonically; as in prayer。 〃O God;〃 he said; 〃this
boy was crazy enough before he began to earn his nine dollars a week; and now
his money's gone to his head! Can't You do nothin' for him?〃 Then he flung
his hands apart; palms outward; in a furious gesture of dismissal。 〃Get out
o' this room! You got a skull that's thicker'n a whale's thigh…bone; but it's
cracked spang all the way across! You hated the machine…shop so bad when I
sent you there; you went and stayed sick for over two yearsand now; when I
offer to take you out of it and give you the mint; you holler for the shop
like a calf for its mammy! You're cracked! Oh; but I got a fine layout here!
One son died; one quit; and one's a loon! The loon's all I got left! H。 P。
Ellersly's wife had a crazy brother; and they undertook to keep him at the
house。 First morning he was there he walked straight though a ten…dollar
plate…glass window out into the yard。 He says; 'Oh; look at the pretty
dandelion!' That's what you're doin'! You want to spend your life sayin';
'Oh; look at the pretty dandelion!' and you don't care a tinker's dam' what
you bust! Well; mister; loon or no loon; cracked and crazy or whatever you
are; I'll take you with me Monday morning; and I'll work you and learn
youyes; and I'll lam you; if I got tountil I've made something out of you
that's fit to be called a business man! I'll keep at you while I'm able to
stand; and if I have to lay down to die I'll be whisperin' at you till they
get the embalmin'…fluid into me! Now go on; and don't let me hear from you
again till you can come and tell me you've waked up; you poor; pitiful;
dandelion…pickin' SLEEP…WALKER!〃
Bibbs gave him a queer look。 There was something like reproach in it; for
once; but there was more than thathe seemed to be startled by his father's
last word。
There was sleet that evening; with a whopping wind; but neither this storm nor
that other which so imminently threatened him held place in the consciousness
of Bibbs Sheridan when he came once more to the presence of Mary。 All was
right in his world has he sat with her; reading Maurice Maeterlinck's Alladine
and Palomides。 The sorrowful light of the gas…jet might have been May morning
sunshine flashing amber and rose through the glowing windows of the
Sainte…Chapelle; it was so bright for Bibbs。 And while the zinc…eater held
out to bring him such golden nights as these; all the king's horses and all
the king's men might not serve to break the spell。
Bibbs read slowly; but in a reasonable manner; as if he were talking; and
Mary; looking at him steadily from beneath her curved fingers; appeared to
discover no fault。 It had grown to be her habit to look at him whenever there
was an opportunity。 It may be said; in truth; that while they were together;
and it was light; she looked at him all the time。
When he came to the end of Alladine and Palomides they were silent a little
while; considering together; then he turned back the pages and said: 〃There's
something I want to read over。 This:
You would think I threw a window open on the dawn。。。She has a soul
that can be seen around herthat takes you in its arms like an
ailing child and without saying anything to you consoles you for
everything。。。。 I shall never understand it all。 I do not know
how it can all be; but my knees bend in spite of me when I speak
of it 。。。
He stopped and looked at her。
〃You boy!〃 said Mary; not very clearly。
〃Oh yes;〃 he returned。 〃But it's trueespecially my knees!〃
〃You boy!〃 she murmured again; blushing charmingly。 〃You might read another
line over。 The first time I ever saw you; Bibbs; you were looking into a
mirror。 Do it again。 But you needn't read itI can give it to you: 〃A
little Greek slave that came from the heart of Arcady!〃
〃I! I'm one of the hands at the Pump Worksand going to stay one; unless I
have to decide to study plumbing。〃
〃No。〃 She shook her head。 〃You love and want what's beautiful and delicate
and serene; it's really art that you want in your life; and have always
wanted。 You seemed to me; from the first; the most wistful person I had ever
known; and that's what you were wistful for。〃
Bibbs looked doubtful and more wistful than ever; but after a moment or two
the matter seemed to clarify itself to him。 〃Why; no;〃 he said; 〃I wanted
something else more than that。 I wanted you。〃
〃And here I am!〃 she laughed; completely understanding。 〃I think we're like
those two in The Cloister and the Hearth。 I'm just the rough Burgundian
cross…bow man; Denys; who followed that gentle Gerard and told everybody that
the devil was dead。〃
〃He isn't; though;〃 said Bibbs; as a hoarse little bell in the next room began
a series of snappings which proved to be ten; upon count。 〃He gets into the
clock whenever I'm with you。〃 And; sighing deeply; he rose to go。
〃You're always very prompt about leaving me。〃
〃II try to be;〃 he said。 〃It isn't easy to be careful not to risk
everything by giving myself a little more at a time。 If I ever saw you look
tired〃
〃Have you ever?〃
〃Not yet。 You always lookyou always look〃
〃How?〃
〃Care…free。 That's it。 Except when you feel sorry for me about something;
you always have that splendid look。 It puts courage into people to see it。
If I had a struggle to face I'd keep remembering that lookand I'd never give
up! It's a brave look; too; as though gaiety might be a kind of gallantry on
your part; and yet I don't quite understand why it should be; either。〃 He
smiled quizzically; looking down upon her。 〃Mary; you haven't a 'secret
sorrow;' have you?〃
For answer she only laughed。
〃No;〃 he said; 〃I can't imagine you with a care in the world。 I think that's
why you were so kind to meyou have nothing but happiness in your own life;
and so you could spare time to make my troubles turn to happiness; too。 But
there's one little time in the twenty…four hours when I'm not happy。 It's
now; when I have to say good night。 I feel dismal every time it comesand
then; when I've left the house; there's a bad little blankness; a black void;
as though I were t