david copperfield(大卫.科波维尔)-第116部分

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liberty　to　do　whatever　you　like。　Jip；　you　naughty　boy；　come　here！’　

I　don’t　know　how　I　did　it。　I　did　it　in　a　moment。　I　intercepted　Jip。　
I　had　Dora　in　my　arms。　I　was　full　of　eloquence。　I　never　stopped　for　
a　word。　I　told　her　how　I　loved　her。　I　told　her　I　should　die　without　
her。　I　told　her　that　I　idolized　and　worshipped　her。　Jip　barked　
madly　all　the　time。　

When　Dora　hung　her　head　and　cried；　and　trembled；　my　

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eloquence　increased　so　much　the　more。　If　she　would　like　me　to　die　
for　her；　she　had　but　to　say　the　word；　and　I　was　ready。　Life　without　
Dora’s　love　was　not　a　thing　to　have　on　any　terms。　I　couldn’t　bear　it；　
and　I　wouldn’t。　I　had　loved　her　every　minute；　day　and　night；　since　
I　first　saw　her。　I　loved　her　at　that　minute　to　distraction。　I　should　
always　love　her；　every　minute；　to　distraction。　Lovers　had　loved　
before；　and　lovers　would　love　again；　but　no　lover　had　loved；　might；　
could；　would；　or　should　ever　love；　as　I　loved　Dora。　The　more　I　
raved；　the　more　Jip　barked。　Each　of　us；　in　his　own　way；　got　more　
mad　every　moment。　

Well；　well！　Dora　and　I　were　sitting　on　the　sofa　by　and　by；　quiet　
enough；　and　Jip　was　lying　in　her　lap；　winking　peacefully　at　me。　It　
was　off　my　mind。　I　was　in　a　state　of　perfect　rapture。　Dora　and　I　
were　engaged。　

I　suppose　we　had　some　notion　that　this　was　to　end　in　marriage。　
We　must　have　had　some；　because　Dora　stipulated　that　we　were　
never　to　be　married　without　her　papa’s　consent。　But；　in　our　
youthful　ecstasy；　I　don’t　think　that　we　really　looked　before　us　or　
behind　us；　or　had　any　aspiration　beyond　the　ignorant　present。　We　
were　to　keep　our　secret　from　Mr。　Spenlow；　but　I　am　sure　the　idea　
never　entered　my　head；　then；　that　there　was　anything　
dishonourable　in　that。　

Miss　Mills　was　more　than　usually　pensive　when　Dora；　going　to　
find　her；　brought　her　back；—I　apprehend；　because　there　was　a　
tendency　in　what　had　passed　to　awaken　the　slumbering　echoes　in　
the　caverns　of　Memory。　But　she　gave　us　her　blessing；　and　the　
assurance　of　her　lasting　friendship；　and　spoke　to　us；　generally；　as　
became　a　Voice　from　the　Cloister。　

What　an　idle　time　it　was！　What　an　insubstantial；　happy；　foolish　

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time　it　was！　

When　I　measured　Dora’s　finger　for　a　ring　that　was　to　be　made　
of　Forget…me…nots；　and　when　the　jeweller；　to　whom　I　took　the　
measure；　found　me　out；　and　laughed　over　his　order…book；　and　
charged　me　anything　he　liked　for　the　pretty　little　toy；　with　its　blue　
stones—so　associated　in　my　remembrance　with　Dora’s　hand；　that　
yesterday；　when　I　saw　such　another；　by　chance；　on　the　finger　of　
my　own　daughter；　there　was　a　momentary　stirring　in　my　heart；　
like　pain！　

When　I　walked　about；　exalted　with　my　secret；　and　full　of　my　
own　interest；　and　felt　the　dignity　of　loving　Dora；　and　of　being　
beloved；　so　much；　that　if　I　had　walked　the　air；　I　could　not　have　
been　more　above　the　people　not　so　situated；　who　were　creeping　on　
the　earth！　

When　we　had　those　meetings　in　the　garden　of　the　square；　and　
sat　within　the　dingy　summer…house；　so　happy；　that　I　love　the　
London　sparrows　to　this　hour；　for　nothing　else；　and　see　the　
plumage　of　the　tropics　in　their　smoky　feathers！　When　we　had　our　
first　great　quarrel　（within　a　week　of　our　betrothal）；　and　when　Dora　
sent　me　back　the　ring；　enclosed　in　a　despairing　cocked…hat　note；　
wherein　she　used　the　terrible　expression　that　‘our　love　had　begun　
in　folly；　and　ended　in　madness！’　which　dreadful　words　occasioned　
me　to　tear　my　hair；　and　cry　that　all　was　over！　

When；　under　cover　of　the　night；　I　flew　to　Miss　Mills；　whom　I　
saw　by　stealth　in　a　back　kitchen　where　there　was　a　mangle；　and　
implored　Miss　Mills　to　interpose　between　us　and　avert　insanity。　
When　Miss　Mills　undertook　the　office　and　returned　with　Dora；　
exhorting　us；　from　the　pulpit　of　her　own　bitter　youth；　to　mutual　
concession；　and　the　avoidance　of　the　Desert　of　Sahara！　

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When　we　cried；　and　made　it　up；　and　were　so　blest　again；　that　
the　back　kitchen；　mangle　and　all；　changed　to　Love’s　own　temple；　
where　we　arranged　a　plan　of　correspondence　through　Miss　Mills；　
always　to　comprehend　at　least　one　letter　on　each　side　every　day！　

What　an　idle　time！　What　an　insubstantial；　happy；　foolish　time！　
Of　all　the　times　of　mine　that　Time　has　in　his　grip；　there　is　none　
that　in　one　retrospect　I　can　smile　at　half　so　much；　and　think　of　half　
so　tenderly。　

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Chapter　34　

MY　AUNT　ASTONISHES　ME　

Iwrote　to　Agnes　as　soon　as　Dora　and　I　were　engaged。　I　wrote　
her　a　long　letter；　in　which　I　tried　to　make　her　comprehend　
how　blest　I　was；　and　what　a　darling　Dora　was。　I　entreated　
Agnes　not　to　regard　this　as　a　thoughtless　passion　which　could　ever　
yield　to　any　other；　or　had　the　least　resemblance　to　the　boyish　
fancies　that　we　used　to　joke　about。　I　assured　her　that　its　
profundity　was　quite　unfathomable；　and　expressed　my　belief　that　
nothing　like　it　had　ever　been　known。　

Somehow；　as　I　wrote　to　Agnes　on　a　fine　evening　by　my　open　
window；　and　the　remembrance　of　her　clear　calm　eyes　and　gentle　
face　came　stealing　over　me；　it　shed　such　a　peaceful　influence　upon　
the　hurry　and　agitation　in　which　I　had　been　living　lately；　and　of　
which　my　very　happiness　partook　in　some　degree；　that　it　soothed　
me　into　tears。　I　remember　that　I　sat　resting　my　head　upon　my　
hand；　when　the　letter　was　half　done；　cherishing　a　general　fancy　as　
if　Agnes　were　one　of　the　elements　of　my　natural　home。　As　if；　in　the　
retirement　of　the　house　made　almost　sacred　to　me　by　her　
presence；　Dora　and　I　must　be　happier　than　anywhere。　As　if；　in　
love；　joy；　sorrow；　hope；　or　disappointment；　in　all　emotions；　my　
heart　turned　naturally　there；　and　found　its　refuge　and　best　friend。　

Of　Steerforth　I　said　nothing。　I　only　told　her　there　had　been　sad　
grief　at　Yarmouth；　on　account　of　Emily’s　flight；　and　that　on　me　it　
made　a　double　wound；　by　reason　of　the　circumstances　attending　
it。　I　knew　how　quick　she　always　was　to　divine　the　truth；　and　that　

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she　would　never　be　the　first　to　breathe　his　name。　

To　this　letter；　I　received　an　answer　by　return　of　post。　As　I　read　
it；　I　seemed　to　hear　Agnes　speaking　to　me。　It　was　like　her　cordial　
voice　in　my　ears。　What　can　I　say　more！　

While　I　had　been　away　from　home　lately；　Traddles　had　called　
twice　or　thrice。　Finding　Peggotty　within；　and　being　informed　by　
Peggotty　（who　always　volunteered　that　information　to　
whomsoever　would　receive　it）；　that　she　was　my　old　nurse；　he　had　
established　a　good…humoured　acquaintance　with　her；　and　had　
stayed　to　have　a　little　chat　with　her　about　me。　So　Peggotty　said；　
but　I　am　afraid　the　chat　was　all　on　her　own　side；　and　of　
immoderate　length；　as　she　was　very　difficult　indeed　to　stop；　God　
bless　her！　when　she　had　me　for　her　theme。　

This　reminds　me；　not　only　that　I　expected　Traddles　on　a　certain　
afternoon　of　his　own　appointing；　which　was　now　come；　but　that　
Mrs。　Crupp　had　resigned　everything　appertaining　to　her　office　
（the　salary　excepted）　until　Peggotty　should　cease　to　present　
herself。　Mrs。　Crupp；　after　holding　divers　conversations　respecting　
Peggotty；　in　a　very　high…pitched　voice；　on　the　staircase—with　
some　invisible　Familiar　it　would　appear；　for　corporeally　speaking　
she　was　quite　alone　at　those　times—addressed　a　letter　to　me；　
developing　her　views。　Beginning　it　with　that　statement　of　
universal　application；　which　fitted　every　occurrence　of　her　life；　
namely；　that　she　was　a　mother　herself；　she　went　on　to　inform　me　
that　she　had　once　seen　very　different　days；　but　that　at　all　periods　
of　her　existence　she　had　had　a　constitutional　objection　to　spies；　
intruders；　and　informers。　She　named　no　names；　she　said；　let　them　
the　cap　fitted；　wear　it；　but　spies；　intruders；　and　informers；　
especially　in　widders’　weeds　（this　clause　was　underlined）；　she　had　

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ever　accustomed　herself　to　look　down　upon。　If　a　gentleman　was　
the　victim　of　spies；　intruders；　and　informers　（but　still　naming　no　
names）；　that　was　his　own　pleasure。　He　had　a　right　to　please　
himself；　so　let　him　do。　All　that　she；　Mrs。　Crupp；　stipulated　for；　
was；　that　she　should　not　be　‘brought　in　contract’　with　such　
persons。　Therefore　she　begged　to　be　excused　from　any　further　
attendance　on　the　top　set；　until　things　were　as　they　formerly　was；　
and　as　they　could　be　wished　to　be；　and　further　mentioned　that　her　
little　book　would　be　found　upon　the　breakfast…table　every　
Saturday　morning；　when　she　requested　an　immediate　settlement　
of　the　same；　with　the　benevolent　view　of　saving　trouble　‘and　an　illconwenience’　to　all　parties。　

After　this；　Mrs。　Crupp　confined　herself　to　making　pitfalls　on　the　
stairs；　principally　with　pitchers；　and　endeavouring　to　delude　
Peggotty　into　breaking　her　legs。　I　found　it　rather　harassing　to　live　
in　this　state　of　siege；　but　was　too　much　afraid　of　Mrs。　Crupp　to　see　
any　way　out　of　it。　

‘My　dear　Copperfield；’　cried　Traddles；　punctually　appearing　at　
my　door；　in　spite　of　all　these　obstacles；　‘how　do　you　do？’　

‘My　dear　Traddles；’　said　I；　‘I　am　delighted　to　see　you　at　last；　and　
very　sorry　I　have　not　been　at　home　before。　But　I　have　been　so　
much　engaged—’　

‘Yes；　yes；　I　know；’　said　Traddles；　‘of　course。　Yours　lives　in　
London；　I　think。’　

‘What　did　you　say？’　

‘She—excuse　me—Miss　D。；　you　know；’　said　Traddles；　colouring　
in　his　great　delicacy；　‘lives　in　London；　I　believe？’　

‘Oh　yes。　Near　London。’　

‘Mine；　perhaps　you　recollect；’　said　Traddles；　with　a　serious　look；　

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‘lives　down　in　Devonshire—one　of　ten。　Consequently；　I　am　not　so　

much　engaged　as　you—in　that　sense。’　

‘I　wonder　you　can　bear；’　I　returned；　‘to　see　her　so　seldom。’　

‘Hah！’　said　Traddles；　thoughtfully。　‘It　does　seem　a　wonder。　
suppose　it　is；　Copperfield；　because　there　is　no　help　for　it？’　

‘I　suppose　so；’　I　replied　with　a　smile；　and　not　without　a　blush