david copperfield(大卫.科波维尔)-第13部分

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it　couldn’t　be　done。　

On　the　very　first　morning　after　her　arrival　she　was　up　and　
ringing　her　bell　at　cock…crow。　When　my　mother　came　down　to　
breakfast　and　was　going　to　make　the　tea；　Miss　Murdstone　gave　her　
a　kind　of　peck　on　the　cheek；　which　was　her　nearest　approach　to　a　

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kiss；　and　said：　

‘Now；　Clara；　my　dear；　I　am　come　here；　you　know；　to　relieve　you　
of　all　the　trouble　I　can。　You’re　much　too　pretty　and　thoughtless’—　
my　mother　blushed　but　laughed；　and　seemed　not　to　dislike　this　
character—‘to　have　any　duties　imposed　upon　you　that　can　be　
undertaken　by　me。　If　you’ll　be　so　good　as　give　me　your　keys；　my　
dear；　I’ll　attend　to　all　this　sort　of　thing　in　future。’　

From　that　time；　Miss　Murdstone　kept　the　keys　in　her　own　little　
jail　all　day；　and　under　her　pillow　all　night；　and　my　mother　had　no　
more　to　do　with　them　than　I　had。　

My　mother　did　not　suffer　her　authority　to　pass　from　her　without　
a　shadow　of　protest。　One　night　when　Miss　Murdstone　had　been　
developing　certain　household　plans　to　her　brother；　of　which　he　
signified　his　approbation；　my　mother　suddenly　began　to　cry；　and　
said　she　thought　she　might　have　been　consulted。　

‘Clara！’　said　Mr。　Murdstone　sternly。　‘Clara！　I　wonder　at　you。’　

‘Oh；　it’s　very　well　to　say　you　wonder；　Edward！’　cried　my　mother；　
‘and　it’s　very　well　for　you　to　talk　about　firmness；　but　you　wouldn’t　
like　it　yourself。’　

Firmness；　I　may　observe；　was　the　grand　quality　on　which　both　
Mr。　and　Miss　Murdstone　took　their　stand。　However　I　might　have　
expressed　my　comprehension　of　it　at　that　time；　if　I　had　been　called　
upon；　I　nevertheless　did　clearly　comprehend　in　my　own　way；　that　
it　was　another　name　for　tyranny；　and　for　a　certain　gloomy；　
arrogant；　devil’s　humour；　that　was　in　them　both。　The　creed；　as　I　
should　state　it　now；　was　this。　Mr。　Murdstone　was　firm；　nobody　in　
his　world　was　to　be　so　firm　as　Mr。　Murdstone；　nobody　else　in　his　
world　was　to　be　firm　at　all；　for　everybody　was　to　be　bent　to　his　
firmness。　Miss　Murdstone　was　an　exception。　She　might　be　firm；　

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but　only　by　relationship；　and　in　an　inferior　and　tributary　degree。　
My　mother　was　another　exception。　She　might　be　firm；　and　must　
be；　but　only　in　bearing　their　firmness；　and　firmly　believing　there　
was　no　other　firmness　upon　earth。　

‘It’s　very　hard；’　said　my　mother；　‘that　in　my　own　house—’　

‘My　own　house？’　repeated　Mr。　Murdstone。　‘Clara！’　

‘Our　own　house；　I　mean；’　faltered　my　mother；　evidently　
frightened—‘I　hope　you　must　know　what　I　mean；　Edward—it’s　
very　hard　that　in　your　own　house　I　may　not　have　a　word　to　say　
about　domestic　matters。　I　am　sure　I　managed　very　well　before　we　
were　married。　There’s　evidence；’　said　my　mother；　sobbing；　‘ask　
Peggotty　if　I　didn’t　do　very　well　when　I　wasn’t　interfered　with！’　

‘Edward；’　said　Miss　Murdstone；　‘let　there　be　an　end　of　this。　I　go　
tomorrow。’　

‘Jane　Murdstone；’　said　her　brother；　‘be　silent！　How　dare　you　to　
insinuate　that　you　don’t　know　my　character　better　than　your　
words　imply？’　

‘I　am　sure；’　my　poor　mother　went　on；　at　a　grievous　
disadvantage；　and　with　many　tears；　‘I　don’t　want　anybody　to　go。　I　
should　be　very　miserable　and　unhappy　if　anybody　was　to　go。　I　
don’t　ask　much。　I　am　not　unreasonable。　I　only　want　to　be　
consulted　sometimes。　I　am　very　much　obliged　to　anybody　who　
assists　me；　and　I　only　want　to　be　consulted　as　a　mere　form；　
sometimes。　I　thought　you　were　pleased；　once；　with　my　being　a　
little　inexperienced　and　girlish；　Edward—I　am　sure　you　said　so—　
but　you　seem　to　hate　me　for　it　now；　you　are　so　severe。’　

‘Edward；’　said　Miss　Murdstone；　again；　‘let　there　be　an　end　of　
this。　I　go　tomorrow。’　

‘Jane　Murdstone；’　thundered　Mr。　Murdstone。　‘Will　you　be　

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silent？　How　dare　you？’　

Miss　Murdstone　made　a　jail…delivery　of　her　pocket…
handkerchief；　and　held　it　before　her　eyes。　

‘Clara；’　he　continued；　looking　at　my　mother；　‘you　surprise　me！　
You　astound　me！　Yes；　I　had　a　satisfaction　in　the　thought　of　
marrying　an　inexperienced　and　artless　person；　and　forming　her　
character；　and　infusing　into　it　some　amount　of　that　firmness　and　
decision　of　which　it　stood　in　need。　But　when　Jane　Murdstone　is　
kind　enough　to　come　to　my　assistance　in　this　endeavour；　and　to　
assume；　for　my　sake；　a　condition　something　like　a　housekeeper’s；　
and　when　she　meets　with　a　base　return—’　

‘Oh；　pray；　pray；　Edward；’　cried　my　mother；　‘don’t　accuse　me　of　
being　ungrateful。　I　am　sure　I　am　not　ungrateful。　No　one　ever　said　I　
was　before。　I　have　many　faults；　but　not　that。　Oh；　don’t；　my　dear！’　

‘When　Jane　Murdstone　meets；　I　say；’　he　went　on；　after　waiting　
until　my　mother　was　silent；　‘with　a　base　return；　that　feeling　of　
mine　is　chilled　and　altered。’　

‘Don’t；　my　love；　say　that！’　implored　my　mother　very　piteously。　
‘Oh；　don’t；　Edward！　I　can’t　bear　to　hear　it。　Whatever　I　am；　I　am　
affectionate。　I　know　I　am　affectionate。　I　wouldn’t　say　it；　if　I　wasn’t　
sure　that　I　am。　Ask　Peggotty。　I　am　sure　she’ll　tell　you　I’m　
affectionate。’　

‘There　is　no　extent　of　mere　weakness；　Clara；’　said　Mr。　
Murdstone　in　reply；　‘that　can　have　the　least　weight　with　me。　You　
lose　breath。’　

‘Pray　let　us　be　friends；’　said　my　mother；　‘I　couldn’t　live　under　
coldness　or　unkindness。　I　am　so　sorry。　I　have　a　great　many　defects；　
I　know；　and　it’s　very　good　of　you；　Edward；　with　your　strength　of　
mind；　to　endeavour　to　correct　them　for　me。　Jane；　I　don’t　object　to　

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anything。　I　should　be　quite　broken…hearted　if　you　thought　of　
leaving—’　My　mother　was　too　much　overcome　to　go　on。　

‘Jane　Murdstone；’　said　Mr。　Murdstone　to　his　sister；　‘any　harsh　
words　between　us　are；　I　hope；　uncommon。　It　is　not　my　fault　that　so　
unusual　an　occurrence　has　taken　place　tonight。　I　was　betrayed　
into　it　by　another。　Nor　is　it　your　fault。　You　were　betrayed　into　it　by　
another。　Let　us　both　try　to　forget　it。　And　as　this；’　he　added；　after　
these　magnanimous　words；　‘is　not　a　fit　scene　for　the　boy—David；　
go　to　bed！’　

I　could　hardly　find　the　door；　through　the　tears　that　stood　in　my　
eyes。　I　was　so　sorry　for　my　mother’s　distress；　but　I　groped　my　way　
out；　and　groped　my　way　up　to　my　room　in　the　dark；　without　even　
having　the　heart　to　say　good　night　to　Peggotty；　or　to　get　a　candle　
from　her。　When　her　coming　up　to　look　for　me；　an　hour　or　so　
afterwards；　awoke　me；　she　said　that　my　mother　had　gone　to　bed　
poorly；　and　that　Mr。　and　Miss　Murdstone　were　sitting　alone。　

Going　down　next　morning　rather　earlier　than　usual；　I　paused　
outside　the　parlour　door；　on　hearing　my　mother’s　voice。　She　was　
very　earnestly　and　humbly　entreating　Miss　Murdstone’s　pardon；　
which　that　lady　granted；　and　a　perfect　reconciliation　took　place。　I　
never　knew　my　mother　afterwards　to　give　an　opinion　on　any　
matter；　without　first　appealing　to　Miss　Murdstone；　or　without　
having　first　ascertained　by　some　sure　means；　what　Miss　
Murdstone’s　opinion　was；　and　I　never　saw　Miss　Murdstone；　when　
out　of　temper　（she　was　infirm　that　way）；　move　her　hand　towards　
her　bag　as　if　she　were　going　to　take　out　the　keys　and　offer　to　resign　
them　to　my　mother；　without　seeing　that　my　mother　was　in　a　
terrible　fright。　

The　gloomy　taint　that　was　in　the　Murdstone　blood；　darkened　

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the　Murdstone　religion；　which　was　austere　and　wrathful。　I　have　
thought；　since；　that　its　assuming　that　character　was　a　necessary　
consequence　of　Mr。　Murdstone’s　firmness；　which　wouldn’t　allow　
him　to　let　anybody　off　from　the　utmost　weight　of　the　severest　
penalties　he　could　find　any　excuse　for。　Be　this　as　it　may；　I　well　
remember　the　tremendous　visages　with　which　we　used　to　go　to　
church；　and　the　changed　air　of　the　place。　Again；　the　dreaded　
Sunday　comes　round；　and　I　file　into　the　old　pew　first；　like　a　
guarded　captive　brought　to　a　condemned　service。　Again；　Miss　
Murdstone；　in　a　black　velvet　gown；　that　looks　as　if　it　had　been　
made　out　of　a　pall；　follows　close　upon　me；　then　my　mother；　then　
her　husband。　There　is　no　Peggotty　now；　as　in　the　old　time。　Again；　I　
listen　to　Miss　Murdstone　mumbling　the　responses；　and　
emphasizing　all　the　dread　words　with　a　cruel　relish。　Again；　I　see　
her　dark　eyes　roll　round　the　church　when　she　says　‘miserable　
sinners’；　as　if　she　were　calling　all　the　congregation　names。　Again；　I　
catch　rare　glimpses　of　my　mother；　moving　her　lips　timidly　between　
the　two；　with　one　of　them　muttering　at　each　ear　like　low　thunder。　
Again；　I　wonder　with　a　sudden　fear　whether　it　is　likely　that　our　
good　old　clergyman　can　be　wrong；　and　Mr。　and　Miss　Murdstone　
right；　and　that　all　the　angels　in　Heaven　can　be　destroying　angels。　
Again；　if　I　move　a　finger　or　relax　a　muscle　of　my　face；　Miss　
Murdstone　pokes　me　with　her　prayer…book；　and　makes　my　side　
ache。　

Yes；　and　again；　as　we　walk　home；　I　note　some　neighbours　
looking　at　my　mother　and　at　me；　and　whispering。　Again；　as　the　
three　go　on　arm…in…arm；　and　I　linger　behind　alone；　I　follow　some　of　
those　looks；　and　wonder　if　my　mother’s　step　be　really　not　so　light　
as　I　have　seen　it；　and　if　the　gaiety　of　her　beauty　be　really　almost　

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worried　away。　Again；　I　wonder　whether　any　of　the　neighbours　call　
to　mind；　as　I　do；　how　we　used　to　walk　home　together；　she　and　I；　
and　I　wonder　stupidly　about　that；　all　the　dreary　dismal　day。　

There　had　been　some　talk　on　occasions　of　my　going　to　
boarding…school。　Mr。　and　Miss　Murdstone　had　originated　it；　and　
my　mother　had　of　course　agreed　with　them。　Nothing；　however；　
was　concluded　on　the　subject　yet。　In　the　meantime；　I　learnt　
lessons　at　home。　Shall　I　ever　forget　those　lessons！　They　were　
presided　over　nominally　by　my　mother；　but　really　by　Mr。　
Murdstone　and　his　sister；　who　were　always　present；　and　found　
them　a　favourable　occasion　for　giving　my　mother　lessons　in　that　
miscalled　firmness；　which　was　the　bane　of　both　our　lives。　I　believe　
I　was　kept　at　home　f