david copperfield(大卫.科波维尔)-第134部分

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to　more　ambitious　domiciliary　accommodation。’　

I　asked　him　whether　he　had　reason；　so　far；　to　be　satisfied　with　
his　friend　Heep’s　treatment　of　him？　He　got　up　to　ascertain　if　the　
door　were　close　shut；　before　he　replied；　in　a　lower　voice：　

‘My　dear　Copperfield；　a　man　who　labours　under　the　pressure　of　
pecuniary　embarrassments；　is；　with　the　generality　of　people；　at　a　
disadvantage。　That　disadvantage　is　not　diminished；　when　that　
pressure　necessitates　the　drawing　of　stipendiary　emoluments；　
before　those　emoluments　are　strictly　due　and　payable。　All　I　can　
say　is；　that　my　friend　Heep　has　responded　to　appeals　to　which　I　
need　not　more　particularly　refer；　in　a　manner　calculated　to　
redound　equally　to　the　honour　of　his　head；　and　of　his　heart。’　

‘I　should　not　have　supposed　him　to　be　very　free　with　his　money　
either；’　I　observed。　

‘Pardon　me！’　said　Mr。　Micawber；　with　an　air　of　constraint；　‘I　
speak　of　my　friend　Heep　as　I　have　experience。’　

‘I　am　glad　your　experience　is　so　favourable；’　I　returned。　

‘You　are　very　obliging；　my　dear　Copperfield；’　said　Mr。　
Micawber；　and　hummed　a　tune。　

‘Do　you　see　much　of　Mr。　Wickfield？’　I　asked；　to　change　the　
subject。　

‘Not　much；’　said　Mr。　Micawber；　slightingly。　‘Mr。　Wickfield　is；　I　
dare　say；　a　man　of　very　excellent　intentions；　but　he　is—in　short；　he　

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David　Copperfield　

is　obsolete。’　

‘I　am　afraid　his　partner　seeks　to　make　him　so；’　said　I。　

‘My　dear　Copperfield！’　returned　Mr。　Micawber；　after　some　
uneasy　evolutions　on　his　stool；　‘allow　me　to　offer　a　remark！　I　am　
here；　in　a　capacity　of　confidence。　I　am　here；　in　a　position　of　trust。　
The　discussion　of　some　topics；　even　with　Mrs。　Micawber　herself　
（so　long　the　partner　of　my　various　vicissitudes；　and　a　woman　of　a　
remarkable　lucidity　of　intellect）；　is；　I　am　led　to　consider；　
incompatible　with　the　functions　now　devolving　on　me。　I　would　
therefore　take　the　liberty　of　suggesting　that　in　our　friendly　
intercourse—which　I　trust　will　never　be　disturbed！—we　draw　a　
line。　On　one　side　of　this　line；’　said　Mr。　Micawber；　representing　it　
on　the　desk　with　the　office　ruler；　‘is　the　whole　range　of　the　human　
intellect；　with　a　trifling　exception；　on　the　other；　is　that　exception；　
that　is　to　say；　the　affairs　of　Messrs　Wickfield　and　Heep；　with　all　
belonging　and　appertaining　thereunto。　I　trust　I　give　no　offence　to　
the　companion　of　my　youth；　in　submitting　this　proposition　to　his　
cooler　judgement？’　

Though　I　saw　an　uneasy　change　in　Mr。　Micawber；　which　sat　
tightly　on　him；　as　if　his　new　duties　were　a　misfit；　I　felt　I　had　no　
right　to　be　offended。　My　telling　him　so；　appeared　to　relieve　him；　
and　he　shook　hands　with　me。　

‘I　am　charmed；　Copperfield；’　said　Mr。　Micawber；　‘let　me　assure　
you；　with　Miss　Wickfield。　She　is　a　very　superior　young　lady；　of　very　
remarkable　attractions；　graces；　and　virtues。　Upon　my　honour；’　
said　Mr。　Micawber；　indefinitely　kissing　his　hand　and　bowing　with　
his　genteelest　air；　‘I　do　Homage　to　Miss　Wickfield！　Hem！’　

‘I　am　glad　of　that；　at　least；’　said　I。　

‘If　you　had　not　assured　us；　my　dear　Copperfield；　on　the　occasion　

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of　that　agreeable　afternoon　we　had　the　happiness　of　passing　with　
you；　that　D。　was　your　favourite　letter；’　said　Mr。　Micawber；　‘I　
should　unquestionably　have　supposed　that　A。　had　been　so。’　

We　have　all　some　experience　of　a　feeling；　that　comes　over　us　
occasionally；　of　what　we　are　saying　and　doing　having　been　said　
and　done　before；　in　a　remote　time—of　our　having　been　
surrounded；　dim　ages　ago；　by　the　same　faces；　objects；　and　
circumstances—of　our　knowing　perfectly　what　will　be　said　next；　as　
if　we　suddenly　remembered　it！　I　never　had　this　mysterious　
impression　more　strongly　in　my　life；　than　before　he　uttered　those　
words。　

I　took　my　leave　of　Mr。　Micawber；　for　the　time；　charging　him　
with　my　best　remembrances　to　all　at　home。　As　I　left　him；　resuming　
his　stool　and　his　pen；　and　rolling　his　head　in　his　stock；　to　get　it　into　
easier　writing　order；　I　clearly　perceived　that　there　was　something　
interposed　between　him　and　me；　since　he　had　come　into　his　new　
functions；　which　prevented　our　getting　at　each　other　as　we　used　to　
do；　and　quite　altered　the　character　of　our　intercourse。　

There　was　no　one　in　the　quaint　old　drawing…room；　though　it　
presented　tokens　of　Mrs。　Heep’s　whereabouts。　I　looked　into　the　
room　still　belonging　to　Agnes；　and　saw　her　sitting　by　the　fire；　at　a　
pretty　old…fashioned　desk　she　had；　writing。　

My　darkening　the　light　made　her　look　up。　What　a　pleasure　to　be　
the　cause　of　that　bright　change　in　her　attentive　face；　and　the　object　
of　that　sweet　regard　and　welcome！　

‘Ah；　Agnes！’　said　I；　when　we　were　sitting　together；　side　by　side；　
‘I　have　missed　you　so　much；　lately！’　

‘Indeed？’　she　replied。　‘Again！　And　so　soon？’　

I　shook　my　head。　

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‘I　don’t　know　how　it　is；　Agnes；　I　seem　to　want　some　faculty　of　
mind　that　I　ought　to　have。　You　were　so　much　in　the　habit　of　
thinking　for　me；　in　the　happy　old　days　here；　and　I　came　so　
naturally　to　you　for　counsel　and　support；　that　I　really　think　I　have　
missed　acquiring　it。’　

‘And　what　is　it？’　said　Agnes；　cheerfully。　

‘I　don’t　know　what　to　call　it；’　I　replied。　‘I　think　I　am　earnest　and　
persevering？’　

‘I　am　sure　of　it；’　said　Agnes。　

‘And　patient；　Agnes？’　I　inquired；　with　a　little　hesitation。　

‘Yes；’　returned　Agnes；　laughing。　‘Pretty　well。’　

‘And　yet；’　said　I；　‘I　get　so　miserable　and　worried；　and　am　so　
unsteady　and　irresolute　in　my　power　of　assuring　myself；　that　I　
know　I　must　want—shall　I　call　it—reliance；　of　some　kind？’　

‘Call　it　so；　if　you　will；’　said　Agnes。　

‘Well！’　I　returned。　‘See　here！　You　come　to　London；　I　rely　on　you；　
and　I　have　an　object　and　a　course　at　once。　I　am　driven　out　of　it；　I　
come　here；　and　in　a　moment　I　feel　an　altered　person。　The　
circumstances　that　distressed　me　are　not　changed；　since　I　came　
into　this　room；　but　an　influence　comes　over　me　in　that　short　
interval　that　alters　me；　oh；　how　much　for　the　better！　What　is　it？　
What　is　your　secret；　Agnes？’　

Her　head　was　bent　down；　looking　at　the　fire。　

‘It’s　the　old　story；’　said　I。　‘Don’t　laugh；　when　I　say　it　was　always　
the　same　in　little　things　as　it　is　in　greater　ones。　My　old　troubles　
were　nonsense；　and　now　they　are　serious；　but　whenever　I　have　
gone　away　from　my　adopted　sister—’　

Agnes　looked　up—with　such　a　Heavenly　face！—and　gave　me　
her　hand；　which　I　kissed。　

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‘Whenever　I　have　not　had　you；　Agnes；　to　advise　and　approve　in　
the　beginning；　I　have　seemed　to　go　wild；　and　to　get　into　all　sorts　of　
difficulty。　When　I　have　come　to　you；　at　last　（as　I　have　always　done）；　
I　have　come　to　peace　and　happiness。　I　come　home；　now；　like　a　
tired　traveller；　and　find　such　a　blessed　sense　of　rest！’　

I　felt　so　deeply　what　I　said；　it　affected　me　so　sincerely；　that　my　
voice　failed；　and　I　covered　my　face　with　my　hand；　and　broke　into　
tears。　I　write　the　truth。　Whatever　contradictions　and　
inconsistencies　there　were　within　me；　as　there　are　within　so　many　
of　us；　whatever　might　have　been　so　different；　and　so　much　better；　
whatever　I　had　done；　in　which　I　had　perversely　wandered　away　
from　the　voice　of　my　own　heart；　I　knew　nothing　of。　I　only　knew　
that　I　was　fervently　in　earnest；　when　I　felt　the　rest　and　peace　of　
having　Agnes　near　me。　

In　her　placid　sisterly　manner；　with　her　beaming　eyes；　with　her　
tender　voice；　and　with　that　sweet　composure；　which　had　long　ago　
made　the　house　that　held　her　quite　a　sacred　place　to　me；　she　soon　
won　me　from　this　weakness；　and　led　me　on　to　tell　all　that　had　
happened　since　our　last　meeting。　

‘And　there　is　not　another　word　to　tell；　Agnes；’　said　I；　when　I　had　
made　an　end　of　my　confidence。　‘Now；　my　reliance　is　on　you。’　

‘But　it　must　not　be　on　me；　Trotwood；’　returned　Agnes；　with　a　
pleasant　smile。　‘It　must　be　on　someone　else。’　

‘On　Dora？’　said　I。　

‘Assuredly。’　

‘Why；　I　have　not　mentioned；　Agnes；’　said　I；　a　little　embarrassed；　
‘that　Dora　is　rather　difficult　to—I　would　not；　for　the　world；　say；　to　
rely　upon；　because　she　is　the　soul　of　purity　and　truth—but　rather　
difficult　to—I　hardly　know　how　to　express　it；　really；　Agnes。　She　is　

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a　timid　little　thing；　and　easily　disturbed　and　frightened。　Some　time　
ago；　before　her　father’s　death；　when　I　thought　it　right　to　mention　
to　her—but　I’ll　tell　you；　if　you　will　bear　with　me；　how　it　was。’　

Accordingly；　I　told　Agnes　about　my　declaration　of　poverty；　
about　the　cookery…book；　the　housekeeping　accounts；　and　all　the　
rest　of　it。　‘Oh；　Trotwood！’　she　remonstrated；　with　a　smile。　‘Just　
your　old　headlong　way！　You　might　have　been　in　earnest　in　striving　
to　get　on　in　the　world；　without　being　so　very　sudden　with　a　timid；　
loving；　inexperienced　girl。　Poor　Dora！’　

I　never　heard　such　sweet　forbearing　kindness　expressed　in　a　
voice；　as　she　expressed　in　making　this　reply。　It　was　as　if　I　had　seen　
her　admiringly　and　tenderly　embracing　Dora；　and　tacitly　
reproving　me；　by　her　considerate　protection；　for　my　hot　haste　in　
fluttering　that　little　heart。　It　was　as　if　I　had　seen　Dora；　in　all　her　
fascinating　artlessness；　caressing　Agnes；　and　thanking　her；　and　
coaxingly　appealing　against　me；　and　loving　me　with　all　her　
childish　innocence。　

I　felt　so　grateful　to　Agnes；　and　admired　her　so！　I　saw　those　two　
together；　in　a　bright　perspective；　such　well…associated　friends；　
each　adorning　the　other　so　much！　

‘What　ought　I　to　do　then；　Agnes？’　I　inquired；　after　looking　at　the　
fire　a　little　while。　‘What　would　it　be　right　to　do？’　

‘I　think；’　said　Agnes；　‘that　the　honourable　course　to　take；　would　
be　to　write　to　those　two　ladies。　Don’t　you　think　that　any　secret　
course　is　an　unworthy　one？’　

‘Yes。　If　you　think　so；’　said　I。　

‘I　am　poorly　qualified　to　judge　of　such　matters；’　replied　Agnes；　
with　a　modest　hesitation；　‘but　I　certainly　feel—in　short；　I　feel　that　
your