david copperfield(大卫.科波维尔)-第15部分
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no more。
I felt apprehensive that I was personally interested in this
dialogue； and sought Mr。 Murdstone’s eye as it lighted on mine。
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
‘Now； David；’ he said—and I saw that cast again as he said it—
‘you must be far more careful today than usual。’ He gave the cane
another poise； and another switch； and having finished his
preparation of it； laid it down beside him； with an impressive look；
and took up his book。
This was a good freshener to my presence of mind； as a
beginning。 I felt the words of my lessons slipping off； not one by
one； or line by line； but by the entire page； I tried to lay hold of
them； but they seemed； if I may so express it； to have put skates
on； and to skim away from me with a smoothness there was no
checking。
We began badly； and went on worse。 I had come in with an idea
of distinguishing myself rather； conceiving that I was very well
prepared； but it turned out to be quite a mistake。 Book after book
was added to the heap of failures； Miss Murdstone being firmly
watchful of us all the time。 And when we came at last to the five
thousand cheeses （canes he made it that day； I remember）； my
mother burst out crying。
‘Clara！’ said Miss Murdstone； in her warning voice。
‘I am not quite well； my dear Jane； I think；’ said my mother。
I saw him wink； solemnly； at his sister； as he rose and said；
taking up the cane：
‘Why； Jane； we can hardly expect Clara to bear； with perfect
firmness； the worry and torment that David has occasioned her
today。 That would be stoical。 Clara is greatly strengthened and
improved； but we can hardly expect so much from her。 David； you
and I will go upstairs； boy。’
As he took me out at the door； my mother ran towards us。 Miss
Murdstone said； ‘Clara！ are you a perfect fool？’ and interfered。 I
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
saw my mother stop her ears then； and I heard her crying。
He walked me up to my room slowly and gravely—I am certain
he had a delight in that formal parade of executing justice—and
when we got there； suddenly twisted my head under his arm。
‘Mr。 Murdstone！ Sir！’ I cried to him。 ‘Don’t！ Pray don’t beat me！
I have tried to learn； sir； but I can’t learn while you and Miss
Murdstone are by。 I can’t indeed！’
‘Can’t you； indeed； David？’ he said。 ‘We’ll try that。’
He had my head as in a vice； but I twined round him somehow；
and stopped him for a moment； entreating him not to beat me。 It
was only a moment that I stopped him； for he cut me heavily an
instant afterwards； and in the same instant I caught the hand with
which he held me in my mouth； between my teeth； and bit it
through。 It sets my teeth on edge to think of it。
He beat me then； as if he would have beaten me to death。 Above
all the noise we made； I heard them running up the stairs； and
crying out—I heard my mother crying out—and Peggotty。 Then he
was gone； and the door was locked outside； and I was lying；
fevered and hot； and torn； and sore； and raging in my puny way；
upon the floor。
How well I recollect； when I became quiet； what an unnatural
stillness seemed to reign through the whole house！ How well I
remember； when my smart and passion began to cool； how wicked
I began to feel！
I sat listening for a long while； but there was not a sound。 I
crawled up from the floor； and saw my face in the glass； so
swollen； red； and ugly that it almost frightened me。 My stripes
were sore and stiff； and made me cry afresh； when I moved； but
they were nothing to the guilt I felt。 It lay heavier on my breast
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
than if I had been a most atrocious criminal； I dare say。
It had begun to grow dark； and I had shut the window （I had
been lying； for the most part； with my head upon the sill； by turns
crying； dozing； and looking listlessly out）； when the key was
turned； and Miss Murdstone came in with some bread and meat；
and milk。 These she put down upon the table without a word；
glaring at me the while with exemplary firmness； and then retired；
locking the door after her。
Long after it was dark I sat there； wondering whether anybody
else would come。 When this appeared improbable for that night； I
undressed； and went to bed； and； there； I began to wonder
fearfully what would be done to me。 Whether it was a criminal act
that I had committed？ Whether I should be taken into custody；
and sent to prison？ Whether I was at all in danger of being
hanged？
I never shall forget the waking； next morning； the being
cheerful and fresh for the first moment； and then the being
weighed down by the stale and dismal oppression of
remembrance。 Miss Murdstone reappeared before I was out of
bed； told me； in so many words； that I was free to walk in the
garden for half an hour and no longer； and retired； leaving the
door open； that I might avail myself of that permission。
I did so； and did so every morning of my imprisonment； which
lasted five days。 If I could have seen my mother alone； I should
have gone down on my knees to her and besought her forgiveness；
but I saw no one； Miss Murdstone excepted； during the whole
time—except at evening prayers in the parlour； to which I was
escorted by Miss Murdstone after everybody else was placed；
where I was stationed； a young outlaw； all alone by myself near the
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
door； and whence I was solemnly conducted by my jailer； before
any one arose from the devotional posture。 I only observed that
my mother was as far off from me as she could be； and kept her
face another way so that I never saw it； and that Mr。 Murdstone’s
hand was bound up in a large linen wrapper。
The length of those five days I can convey no idea of to any one。
They occupy the place of years in my remembrance。 The way in
which I listened to all the incidents of the house that made
themselves audible to me； the ringing of bells； the opening and
shutting of doors； the murmuring of voices； the footsteps on the
stairs； to any laughing； whistling； or singing； outside； which
seemed more dismal than anything else to me in my solitude and
disgrace—the uncertain pace of the hours； especially at night；
when I would wake thinking it was morning； and find that the
family were not yet gone to bed； and that all the length of night
had yet to come—the depressed dreams and nightmares I had—
the return of day； noon； afternoon； evening； when the boys played
in the churchyard； and I watched them from a distance within the
room； being ashamed to show myself at the window lest they
should know I was a prisoner—the strange sensation of never
hearing myself speak—the fleeting intervals of something like
cheerfulness； which came with eating and drinking； and went
away with it—the setting in of rain one evening； with a fresh smell；
and its coming down faster and faster between me and the church；
until it and gathering night seemed to quench me in gloom； and
fear； and remorse—all this appears to have gone round and round
for years instead of days； it is so vividly and strongly stamped on
my remembrance。 On the last night of my restraint； I was
awakened by hearing my own name spoken in a whisper。 I started
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
up in bed； and putting out my arms in the dark； said：
‘Is that you； Peggotty？’
There was no immediate answer； but presently I heard my
name again； in a tone so very mysterious and awful； that I think I
should have gone into a fit； if it had not occurred to me that it must
have come through the keyhole。
I groped my way to the door； and putting my own lips to the
keyhole； whispered： ‘Is that you； Peggotty dear？’
‘Yes； my own precious Davy；’ she replied。 ‘Be as soft as a
mouse； or the Cat’ll hear us。’
I understood this to mean Miss Murdstone； and was sensible of
the urgency of the case； her room being close by。
‘How’s mama； dear Peggotty？ Is she very angry with me？’
I could hear Peggotty crying softly on her side of the keyhole； as
I was doing on mine； before she answered。 ‘No。 Not very。’
‘What is going to be done with me； Peggotty dear？ Do you
know？’
‘School。 Near London；’ was Peggotty’s answer。 I was obliged to
get her to repeat it； for she spoke it the first time quite down my
throat； in consequence of my having forgotten to take my mouth
away from the keyhole and put my ear there； and though her
words tickled me a good deal； I didn’t hear them。
‘When； Peggotty？’
‘Tomorrow。’
‘Is that the reason why Miss Murdstone took the clothes out of
my drawers？’ which she had done； though I have forgotten to
mention it。
‘Yes；’ said Peggotty。 ‘Box。’
‘Shan’t I see mama？’
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
‘Yes；’ said Peggotty。 ‘Morning。’
Then Peggotty fitted her mouth close to the keyhole； and
delivered these words through it with as much feeling and
earnestness as a keyhole has ever been the medium of
communicating； I will venture to assert： shooting in each broken
little sentence in a convulsive little burst of its own。
‘Davy； dear。 If I ain’t been azackly as intimate with you。 Lately；
as I used to be。 It ain’t because I don’t love you。 just as well and
more； my pretty poppet。 It’s because I thought it better for you。
And for someone else besides。 Davy； my darling； are you listening？
Can you hear？’
‘Ye…ye…ye…yes； Peggotty！’ I sobbed。
‘My own！’ said Peggotty； with infinite compassion。 ‘What I want
to say； is。 That you must never forget me。 For I’ll never forget you。
And I’ll take as much care of your mama； Davy。 As ever I took of
you。 And I won’t leave her。 The day may come when she’ll be glad
to lay her poor head。 On her stupid； cross old Peggotty’s arm
again。 And I’ll write to you； my dear。 Though I ain’t no scholar。
And I’ll—I’ll—’ Peggotty fell to kissing the keyhole； as she couldn’t
kiss me。
‘Th
