david copperfield(大卫.科波维尔)-第59部分

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knows　behind；　and　not　knowing　what’s　before　him。　A　young　man　
really　well　deserves　constant　support　and　patronage；’　looking　at　
the　Doctor；　‘who　makes　such　sacrifices。’　

‘Time　will　go　fast　with　you；　Mr。　Jack　Maldon；’　pursued　the　
Doctor；　‘and　fast　with　all　of　us。　Some　of　us　can　hardly　expect；　
perhaps；　in　the　natural　course　of　things；　to　greet　you　on　your　
return。　The　next　best　thing　is　to　hope　to　do　it；　and　that’s　my　case。　I　
shall　not　weary　you　with　good　advice。　You　have　long　had　a　good　
model　before　you；　in　your　cousin　Annie。　Imitate　her　virtues　as　
nearly　as　you　can。’　

Mrs。　Markleham　fanned　herself；　and　shook　her　head。　

‘Farewell；　Mr。　Jack；’　said　the　Doctor；　standing　up；　on　which　we　
all　stood　up。　‘A　prosperous　voyage　out；　a　thriving　career　abroad；　
and　a　happy　return　home！’　

We　all　drank　the　toast；　and　all　shook　hands　with　Mr。　Jack　

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Maldon；　after　which　he　hastily　took　leave　of　the　ladies　who　were　
there；　and　hurried　to　the　door；　where　he　was　received；　as　he　got　
into　the　chaise；　with　a　tremendous　broadside　of　cheers　discharged　
by　our　boys；　who　had　assembled　on　the　lawn　for　the　purpose。　
Running　in　among　them　to　swell　the　ranks；　I　was　very　near　the　
chaise　when　it　rolled　away；　and　I　had　a　lively　impression　made　
upon　me；　in　the　midst　of　the　noise　and　dust；　of　having　seen　Mr。　
Jack　Maldon　rattle　past　with　an　agitated　face；　and　something　
cherry…coloured　in　his　hand。　

After　another　broadside　for　the　Doctor；　and　another　for　the　
Doctor’s　wife；　the　boys　dispersed；　and　I　went　back　into　the　house；　
where　I　found　the　guests　all　standing　in　a　group　about　the　Doctor；　
discussing　how　Mr。　Jack　Maldon　had　gone　away；　and　how　he　had　
borne　it；　and　how　he　had　felt　it；　and　all　the　rest　of　it。　In　the　midst　
of　these　remarks；　Mrs。　Markleham　cried：　‘Where’s　Annie？’　

No　Annie　was　there；　and　when　they　called　to　her；　no　Annie　
replied。　But　all　pressing　out　of　the　room；　in　a　crowd；　to　see　what　
was　the　matter；　we　found　her　lying　on　the　hall　floor。　There　was　
great　alarm　at　first；　until　it　was　found　that　she　was　in　a　swoon；　and　
that　the　swoon　was　yielding　to　the　usual　means　of　recovery；　when　
the　Doctor；　who　had　lifted　her　head　upon　his　knee；　put　her　curls　
aside　with　his　hand；　and　said；　looking　around：　

‘Poor　Annie！　She’s　so　faithful　and　tender…hearted！　It’s　the　
parting　from　her　old　playfellow　and　friend—her　favourite　cousin—　
that　has　done　this。　Ah！　It’s　a　pity！　I　am　very　sorry！’　

When　she　opened　her　eyes；　and　saw　where　she　was；　and　that　
we　were　all　standing　about　her；　she　arose　with　assistance：　turning　
her　head；　as　she　did　so；　to　lay　it　on　the　Doctor’s　shoulder—or　to　
hide　it；　I　don’t　know　which。　We　went　into　the　drawing…room；　to　

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leave　her　with　the　Doctor　and　her　mother；　but　she　said；　it　seemed；　
that　she　was　better　than　she　had　been　since　morning；　and　that　she　
would　rather　be　brought　among　us；　so　they　brought　her　in；　looking　
very　white　and　weak；　I　thought；　and　sat　her　on　a　sofa。　

‘Annie；　my　dear；’　said　her　mother；　doing　something　to　her　
dress。　‘See　here！　You　have　lost　a　bow。　Will　anybody　be　so　good　as　
find　a　ribbon；　a　cherry…coloured　ribbon？’　

It　was　the　one　she　had　worn　at　her　bosom。　We　all　looked　for　it；　I　
myself　looked　everywhere；　I　am　certain—but　nobody　could　find　it。　

‘Do　you　recollect　where　you　had　it　last；　Annie？’　said　her　
mother。　

I　wondered　how　I　could　have　thought　she　looked　white；　or　
anything　but　burning　red；　when　she　answered　that　she　had　had　it　
safe；　a　little　while　ago；　she　thought；　but　it　was　not　worth　looking　
for。　

Nevertheless；　it　was　looked　for　again；　and　still　not　found。　She　
entreated　that　there　might　be　no　more　searching；　but　it　was　still　
sought　for；　in　a　desultory　way；　until　she　was　quite　well；　and　the　
company　took　their　departure。　

We　walked　very　slowly　home；　Mr。　Wickfield；　Agnes；　and　I—　
Agnes　and　I　admiring　the　moonlight；　and　Mr。　Wickfield　scarcely　
raising　his　eyes　from　the　ground。　When　we；　at　last；　reached　our　
own　door；　Agnes　discovered　that　she　had　left　her　little　reticule　
behind。　Delighted　to　be　of　any　service　to　her；　I　ran　back　to　fetch　it。　

I　went　into　the　supper…room　where　it　had　been　left；　which　was　
deserted　and　dark。　But　a　door　of　communication　between　that　and　
the　Doctor’s　study；　where　there　was　a　light；　being　open；　I　passed　
on　there；　to　say　what　I　wanted；　and　to　get　a　candle。　

The　Doctor　was　sitting　in　his　easy…chair　by　the　fireside；　and　his　

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young　wife　was　on　a　stool　at　his　feet。　The　Doctor；　with　a　
complacent　smile；　was　reading　aloud　some　manuscript　
explanation　or　statement　of　a　theory　out　of　that　interminable　
Dictionary；　and　she　was　looking　up　at　him。　But　with　such　a　face　as　
I　never　saw。　It　was　so　beautiful　in　its　form；　it　was　so　ashy　pale；　it　
was　so　fixed　in　its　abstraction；　it　was　so　full　of　a　wild；　sleepwalking；　dreamy　horror　of　I　don’t　know　what。　The　eyes　were　wide　
open；　and　her　brown　hair　fell　in　two　rich　clusters　on　her　shoulders；　
and　on　her　white　dress；　disordered　by　the　want　of　the　lost　ribbon。　
Distinctly　as　I　recollect　her　look；　I　cannot　say　of　what　it　was　
expressive；　I　cannot　even　say　of　what　it　is　expressive　to　me　now；　
rising　again　before　my　older　judgement。　Penitence；　humiliation；　
shame；　pride；　love；　and　trustfulness—I　see　them　all；　and　in　them　
all；　I　see　that　horror　of　I　don’t　know　what。　

My　entrance；　and　my　saying　what　I　wanted；　roused　her。　It　
disturbed　the　Doctor　too；　for　when　I　went　back　to　replace　the　
candle　I　had　taken　from　the　table；　he　was　patting　her　head；　in　his　
fatherly　way；　and　saying　he　was　a　merciless　drone　to　let　her　tempt　
him　into　reading　on；　and　he　would　have　her　go　to　bed。　

But　she　asked　him；　in　a　rapid；　urgent　manner；　to　let　her　stay—　
to　let　her　feel　assured　（I　heard　her　murmur　some　broken　words　to　
this　effect）　that　she　was　in　his　confidence　that　night。　And；　as　she　
turned　again　towards　him；　after　glancing　at　me　as　I　left　the　room　
and　went　out　at　the　door；　I　saw　her　cross　her　hands　upon　his　knee；　
and　look　up　at　him　with　the　same　face；　something　quieted；　as　he　
resumed　his　reading。　

It　made　a　great　impression　on　me；　and　I　remembered　it　a　long　
time　afterwards；　as　I　shall　have　occasion　to　narrate　when　the　time　
comes。　

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Chapter　17　

SOMEBODY　TURNS　UP　

It　has　not　occurred　to　me　to　mention　Peggotty　since　I　ran　
away；　but；　of　course；　I　wrote　her　a　letter　almost　as　soon　as　I　
was　housed　at　Dover；　and　another；　and　a　longer　letter；　
containing　all　particulars　fully　related；　when　my　aunt　took　me　
formally　under　her　protection。　On　my　being　settled　at　Doctor　
Strong’s　I　wrote　to　her　again；　detailing　my　happy　condition　and　
prospects。　I　never　could　have　derived　anything　like　the　pleasure　
from　spending　the　money　Mr。　Dick　had　given　me；　that　I　felt　in　
sending　a　gold　half…guinea　to　Peggotty；　per　post；　enclosed　in　this　
last　letter；　to　discharge　the　sum　I　had　borrowed　of　her：　in　which　
epistle；　not　before；　I　mentioned　about　the　young　man　with　the　
donkey…cart。　

To　these　communications　Peggotty　replied　as　promptly；　if　not　
as　concisely；　as　a　merchant’s　clerk。　Her　utmost　powers　of　
expression　（which　were　certainly　not　great　in　ink）　were　exhausted　
in　the　attempt　to　write　what　she　felt　on　the　subject　of　my　journey。　
Four　sides　of　incoherent　and　interjectional　beginnings　of　
sentences；　that　had　no　end；　except　blots；　were　inadequate　to　afford　
her　any　relief。　But　the　blots　were　more　expressive　to　me　than　the　
best　composition；　for　they　showed　me　that　Peggotty　had　been　
crying　all　over　the　paper；　and　what　could　I　have　desired　more？　

I　made　out；　without　much　difficulty；　that　she　could　not　take　
quite　kindly　to　my　aunt　yet。　The　notice　was　too　short　after　so　long　
a　prepossession　the　other　way。　We　never　knew　a　person；　she　

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wrote；　but　to　think　that　Miss　Betsey　should　seem　to　be　so　different　
from　what　she　had　been　thought　to　be；　was　a　Moral！—that　was　her　
word。　She　was　evidently　still　afraid　of　Miss　Betsey；　for　she　sent　her　
grateful　duty　to　her　but　timidly；　and　she　was　evidently　afraid　of　
me；　too；　and　entertained　the　probability　of　my　running　away　again　
soon：　if　I　might　judge　from　the　repeated　hints　she　threw　out；　that　
the　coach…fare　to　Yarmouth　was　always　to　be　had　of　her　for　the　
asking。　

She　gave　me　one　piece　of　intelligence　which　affected　me　very　
much；　namely；　that　there　had　been　a　sale　of　the　furniture　at　our　
old　home；　and　that　Mr。　and　Miss　Murdstone　were　gone　away；　and　
the　house　was　shut　up；　to　be　let　or　sold。　God　knows　I　had　no　part　
in　it　while　they　remained　there；　but　it　pained　me　to　think　of　the　
dear　old　place　as　altogether　abandoned；　of　the　weeds　growing　tall　
in　the　garden；　and　the　fallen　leaves　lying　thick　and　wet　upon　the　
paths。　I　imagined　how　the　winds　of　winter　would　howl　round　it；　
how　the　cold　rain　would　beat　upon　the　window…glass；　how　the　
moon　would　make　ghosts　on　the　walls　of　the　empty　rooms；　
watching　their　solitude　all　night。　I　thought　afresh　of　the　grave　in　
the　churchyard；　underneath　the　tree：　and　it　seemed　as　if　the　house　
were　dead　too；　now；　and　all　connected　with　my　father　and　mother　
were　faded　away。　

There　was　no　other　news　in　Peggotty’s　letters。　Mr。　Barkis　was　
an　excellent　husband；　she　said；　though　still　a　little　near；　but　we　all　
had　our　faults；　and　she　had　plenty　（though　I　am　sure　I　don’t　know　
what　they　were）；　and　he　sent　his　duty；　and　my　little　bedroom　was　
always　ready　for　me。　Mr。　Peggotty　was　well；　and　Ham　was　well；　
and　Mrs。。　Gummidge　was　but　poorly；　and　little　Em’ly　wouldn’t　
send　her　love；　but　said　that　Peggotty　might　send　it；　if　she　liked。　

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All　this　intelligence　I　dutifully　imparted　to　my　aunt；　only　
reserving　to　myself　the　mention　of　little　Em’ly；　to　whom　I　
instinctively　felt　that　she　would　not　very　tenderly　incline。　While　I　
was　yet　new　at　Doctor　Strong’s；　she　made　several　excursions　over