david copperfield(大卫.科波维尔)-第86部分
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when the cloth was cleared； and the dessert put on the table； at
which period of the entertainment the handy young man was
discovered to be speechless。 Giving him private directions to seek
the society of Mrs。 Crupp； and to remove the ‘young gal’ to the
basement also； I abandoned myself to enjoyment。
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
I began； by being singularly cheerful and light…hearted； all sorts
of half…forgotten things to talk about； came rushing into my mind；
and made me hold forth in a most unwonted manner。 I laughed
heartily at my own jokes； and everybody else’s； called Steerforth to
order for not passing the wine； made several engagements to go to
Oxford； announced that I meant to have a dinner…party exactly
like that； once a week； until further notice； and madly took so
much snuff out of Grainger’s box； that I was obliged to go into the
pantry； and have a private fit of sneezing ten minutes long。
I went on； by passing the wine faster and faster yet； and
continually starting up with a corkscrew to open more wine； long
before any was needed。 I proposed Steerforth’s health。 I said he
was my dearest friend； the protector of my boyhood； and the
companion of my prime。 I said I was delighted to propose his
health。 I said I owed him more obligations than I could ever repay；
and held him in a higher admiration than I could ever express。 I
finished by saying； ‘I’ll give you Steerforth！ God bless him！
Hurrah！’ We gave him three times three； and another； and a good
one to finish with。 I broke my glass in going round the table to
shake hands with him； and I said （in two words） ‘Steerforth—
you’retheguidingstarofmyexistence。’
I went on； by finding suddenly that somebody was in the middle
of a song。 Markham was the singer； and he sang ‘When the heart
of a man is depressed with care’。 He said； when he had sung it； he
would give us ‘Woman！’ I took objection to that； and I couldn’t
allow it。 I said it was not a respectful way of proposing the toast；
and I would never permit that toast to be drunk in my house
otherwise than as ‘The Ladies！’ I was very high with him； mainly I
think because I saw Steerforth and Grainger laughing at me—or
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
at him—or at both of us。 He said a man was not to be dictated to。 I
said a man was。 He said a man was not to be insulted； then。 I said
he was right there—never under my roof； where the Lares were
sacred； and the laws of hospitality paramount。 He said it was no
derogation from a man’s dignity to confess that I was a devilish
good fellow。 I instantly proposed his health。
Somebody was smoking。 We were all smoking。 I was smoking；
and trying to suppress a rising tendency to shudder。 Steerforth
had made a speech about me； in the course of which I had been
affected almost to tears。 I returned thanks； and hoped the present
company would dine with me tomorrow； and the day after—each
day at five o’clock； that we might enjoy the pleasures of
conversation and society through a long evening。 I felt called upon
to propose an individual。 I would give them my aunt。 Miss Betsey
Trotwood； the best of her sex！
Somebody was leaning out of my bedroom window； refreshing
his forehead against the cool stone of the parapet； and feeling the
air upon his face。 It was myself。 I was addressing myself as
‘Copperfield’； and saying； ‘Why did you try to smoke？ You might
have known you couldn’t do it。’ Now； somebody was unsteadily
contemplating his features in the looking…glass。 That was I too。 I
was very pale in the looking…glass； my eyes had a vacant
appearance； and my hair—only my hair； nothing else—looked
drunk。
Somebody said to me； ‘Let us go to the theatre； Copperfield！’
There was no bedroom before me； but again the jingling table
covered with glasses； the lamp； Grainger on my right hand；
Markham on my left； and Steerforth opposite—all sitting in a mist；
and a long way off。 The theatre？ To be sure。 The very thing。 Come
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
along！ But they must excuse me if I saw everybody out first； and
turned the lamp off—in case of fire。
Owing to some confusion in the dark； the door was gone。 I was
feeling for it in the window…curtains； when Steerforth； laughing；
took me by the arm and led me out。 We went downstairs； one
behind another。 Near the bottom； somebody fell； and rolled down。
Somebody else said it was Copperfield。 I was angry at that false
report； until； finding myself on my back in the passage； I began to
think there might be some foundation for it。
A very foggy night； with great rings round the lamps in the
streets！ There was an indistinct talk of its being wet。 I considered
it frosty。 Steerforth dusted me under a lamp…post； and put my hat
into shape； which somebody produced from somewhere in a most
extraordinary manner； for I hadn’t had it on before。 Steerforth
then said； ‘You are all right； Copperfield； are you not？’ and I told
him； ‘Neverberrer。’
A man； sitting in a pigeon…hole…place； looked out of the fog； and
took money from somebody； inquiring if I was one of the
gentlemen paid for； and appearing rather doubtful （as I remember
in the glimpse I had of him） whether to take the money for me or
not。 Shortly afterwards； we were very high up in a very hot
theatre； looking down into a large pit； that seemed to me to smoke；
the people with whom it was crammed were so indistinct。 There
was a great stage； too； looking very clean and smooth after the
streets； and there were people upon it； talking about something or
other； but not at all intelligibly。 There was an abundance of bright
lights； and there was music； and there were ladies down in the
boxes； and I don’t know what more。 The whole building looked to
me as if it were learning to swim； it conducted itself in such an
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
unaccountable manner； when I tried to steady it。
On somebody’s motion； we resolved to go downstairs to the
dress…boxes； where the ladies were。 A gentleman lounging； full
dressed； on a sofa； with an opera…glass in his hand； passed before
my view； and also my own figure at full length in a glass。 Then I
was being ushered into one of these boxes； and found myself
saying something as I sat down； and people about me crying
‘Silence！’ to somebody； and ladies casting indignant glances at me；
and—what！ yes！—Agnes； sitting on the seat before me； in the same
box； with a lady and gentleman beside her； whom I didn’t know。 I
see her face now； better than I did then； I dare say； with its
indelible look of regret and wonder turned upon me。
‘Agnes！’ I said； thickly； ‘Lorblessmer！ Agnes！’
‘Hush！ Pray！’ she answered； I could not conceive why。 ‘You
disturb the company。 Look at the stage！’
I tried； on her injunction； to fix it； and to hear something of
what was going on there； but quite in vain。 I looked at her again by
and by； and saw her shrink into her corner； and put her gloved
hand to her forehead。
‘Agnes！’ I said。 ‘I’mafraidyou’renorwell。’
‘Yes； yes。 Do not mind me； Trotwood；’ she returned。 ‘Listen！
Are you going away soon？’
‘Amigoarawaysoo？’ I repeated。
‘Yes。’
I had a stupid intention of replying that I was going to wait； to
hand her downstairs。 I suppose I expressed it； somehow； for after
she had looked at me attentively for a little while； she appeared to
understand； and replied in a low tone： ‘I know you will do as I ask
you； if I tell you I am very earnest in it。 Go away now； Trotwood；
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
for my sake； and ask your friends to take you home。’
She had so far improved me； for the time； that though I was
angry with her； I felt ashamed； and with a short ‘Goori！’ （which I
intended for ‘Good night！’） got up and went away。 They followed；
and I stepped at once out of the box…door into my bedroom； where
only Steerforth was with me； helping me to undress； and where I
was by turns telling him that Agnes was my sister； and adjuring
him to bring the corkscrew； that I might open another bottle of
wine。
How somebody； lying in my bed； lay saying and doing all this
over again； at cross purposes； in a feverish dream all night—the
bed a rocking sea that was never still！ How； as that somebody
slowly settled down into myself； did I begin to parch； and feel as if
my outer covering of skin were a hard board； my tongue the
bottom of an empty kettle； furred with long service； and burning
up over a slow fire； the palms of my hands； hot plates of metal
which no ice could cool！
But the agony of mind； the remorse； and shame I felt when I
became conscious next day！ My horror of having committed a
thousand offences I had forgotten； and which nothing could ever
expiate—my recollection of that indelible look which Agnes had
given me—the torturing impossibility of communicating with her；
not knowing； Beast that I was； how she came to be in London； or
where she stayed—my disgust of the very sight of the room where
the revel had been held—my racking head—the smell of smoke；
the sight of glasses； the impossibility of going out； or even getting
up！ Oh； what a day it was！
Oh； what an evening； when I sat down by my fire to a basin of
mutton broth； dimpled all over with fat； and thought I was going
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
the way of my predecessor； and should succeed to his dismal story
as well as to his chambers； and had half a mind to rush express to
Dover and reveal all！ What an evening； when Mrs。 Crupp； coming
in to take away the broth…basin； produced one kidney on a cheese…
plate as the entire remains of yesterday’s feast； and I was really
inclined to fall upon her nankeen breast and say； in heartfelt
penitence； ‘Oh； Mrs。 Crupp； Mrs。 Crupp； never mind the broken
meats！ I am very miserable！’—only that I doubted； even at that
pass； if Mrs。 Crupp were quite the sort of woman to confi
