david copperfield(大卫.科波维尔)-第87部分

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pass；　if　Mrs。　Crupp　were　quite　the　sort　of　woman　to　confide　in！　

Charles　Dickens　ElecBook　Classics　


David　Copperfield　

Chapter　25　

GOOD　AND　BAD　ANGELS　

Iwas　going　out　at　my　door　on　the　morning　after　that　
deplorable　day　of　headache；　sickness；　and　repentance；　with　
an　odd　confusion　in　my　mind　relative　to　the　date　of　my　
dinner…party；　as　if　a　body　of　Titans　had　taken　an　enormous　lever　
and　pushed　the　day　before　yesterday　some　months　back；　when　I　
saw　a　ticket…porter　coming　upstairs；　with　a　letter　in　his　hand。　He　
was　taking　his　time　about　his　errand；　then；　but　when　he　saw　me　
on　the　top　of　the　staircase；　looking　at　him　over　the　banisters；　he　
swung　into　a　trot；　and　came　up　panting　as　if　he　had　run　himself　
into　a　state　of　exhaustion。　

‘T。　Copperfield；　Esquire；’　said　the　ticket…porter；　touching　his　hat　
with　his　little　cane。　

I　could　scarcely　lay　claim　to　the　name：　I　was　so　disturbed　by　the　
conviction　that　the　letter　came　from　Agnes。　However；　I　told　him　I　
was　T。　Copperfield；　Esquire；　and　he　believed　it；　and　gave　me　the　
letter；　which　he　said　required　an　answer。　I　shut　him　out　on　the　
landing　to　wait　for　the　answer；　and　went　into　my　chambers　again；　
in　such　a　nervous　state　that　I　was　fain　to　lay　the　letter　down　on　my　
breakfast　table；　and　familiarize　myself　with　the　outside　of　it　a　little；　
before　I　could　resolve　to　break　the　seal。　

I　found；　when　I　did　open　it；　that　it　was　a　very　kind　note；　
containing　no　reference　to　my　condition　at　the　theatre。　All　it　said　
was；　‘My　dear　Trotwood。　I　am　staying　at　the　house　of　papa’s　agent；　
Mr。　Waterbrook；　in　Ely　Place；　Holborn。　Will　you　come　and　see　me　

Charles　Dickens　ElecBook　Classics　


David　Copperfield　

today；　at　any　time　you　like　to　appoint？　Ever　yours　affectionately；　
AGNES。’　

It　took　me　such　a　long　time　to　write　an　answer　at　all　to　my　
satisfaction；　that　I　don’t　know　what　the　ticket…porter　can　have　
thought；　unless　he　thought　I　was　learning　to　write。　I　must　have　
written　half…a…dozen　answers　at　least。　I　began　one；　‘How　can　I　ever　
hope；　my　dear　Agnes；　to　efface　from　your　remembrance　the　
disgusting　impression’—there　I　didn’t　like　it；　and　then　I　tore　it　up。　
I　began　another；　‘Shakespeare　has　observed；　my　dear　Agnes；　how　
strange　it　is　that　a　man　should　put　an　enemy　into　his　mouth’—that　
reminded　me　of　Markham；　and　it　got　no　farther。　I　even　tried　
poetry。　I　began　one　note；　in　a　six…syllable　line；　‘Oh；　do　not　
remember’—but　that　associated　itself　with　the　fifth　of　November；　
and　became　an　absurdity。　After　many　attempts；　I　wrote；　‘My　dear　
Agnes。　Your　letter　is　like　you；　and　what　could　I　say　of　it　that　would　
be　higher　praise　than　that？　I　will　come　at　four　o’clock。　
Affectionately　and　sorrowfully；　T。C。’　With　this　missive　（which　I　
was　in　twenty　minds　at　once　about　recalling；　as　soon　as　it　was　out　
of　my　hands）；　the　ticket…porter　at　last　departed。　

If　the　day　were　half　as　tremendous　to　any　other　professional　
gentleman　in　Doctors’　Commons　as　it　was　to　me；　I　sincerely　
believe　he　made　some　expiation　for　his　share　in　that　rotten　old　
ecclesiastical　cheese。　Although　I　left　the　office　at　half　past　three；　
and　was　prowling　about　the　place　of　appointment　within　a　few　
minutes　afterwards；　the　appointed　time　was　exceeded　by　a　full　
quarter　of　an　hour；　according　to　the　clock　of　St。　Andrew’s；　
Holborn；　before　I　could　muster　up　sufficient　desperation　to　pull　
the　private　bell…handle　let　into　the　left…hand　door…post　of　Mr。　
Waterbrook’s　house。　

Charles　Dickens　ElecBook　Classics　


David　Copperfield　

The　professional　business　of　Mr。　Waterbrook’s　establishment　
was　done　on　the　ground…floor；　and　the　genteel　business　（of　which　
there　was　a　good　deal）　in　the　upper　part　of　the　building。　I　was　
shown　into　a　pretty　but　rather　close　drawing…room；　and　there　sat　
Agnes；　netting　a　purse。　

She　looked　so　quiet　and　good；　and　reminded　me　so　strongly　of　
my　airy　fresh　school　days　at　Canterbury；　and　the　sodden；　smoky；　
stupid　wretch　I　had　been　the　other　night；　that；　nobody　being　by；　I　
yielded　to　my　self…reproach　and　shame；　and—in　short；　made　a　fool　
of　myself。　I　cannot　deny　that　I　shed　tears。　To　this　hour　I　am　
undecided　whether　it　was　upon　the　whole　the　wisest　thing　I　could　
have　done；　or　the　most　ridiculous。　

‘If　it　had　been　anyone　but　you；　Agnes；’　said　I；　turning　away　my　
head；　‘I　should　not　have　minded　it　half　so　much。　But　that　it　should　
have　been　you　who　saw　me！　I　almost　wish　I　had　been　dead；　first。’　

She　put　her　hand—its　touch　was　like　no　other　hand—upon　my　
arm　for　a　moment；　and　I　felt　so　befriended　and　comforted；　that　I　
could　not　help　moving　it　to　my　lips；　and　gratefully　kissing　it。　

‘Sit　down；’　said　Agnes；　cheerfully。　‘Don’t　be　unhappy；　
Trotwood。　If　you　cannot　confidently　trust　me；　whom　will　you　
trust？’　

‘Ah；　Agnes！’　I　returned。　‘You　are　my　good　Angel！’　

She　smiled　rather　sadly；　I　thought；　and　shook　her　head。　

‘Yes；　Agnes；　my　good　Angel！　Always　my　good　Angel！’　

‘If　I　were；　indeed；　Trotwood；’　she　returned；　‘there　is　one　thing　
that　I　should　set　my　heart　on　very　much。’　

I　looked　at　her　inquiringly；　but　already　with　a　foreknowledge　of　
her　meaning。　

‘On　warning　you；’　said　Agnes；　with　a　steady　glance；　‘against　

Charles　Dickens　ElecBook　Classics　


David　Copperfield　

your　bad　Angel。’　

‘My　dear　Agnes；’　I　began；　‘if　you　mean　Steerforth—’　

‘I　do；　Trotwood；’　she　returned。　‘Then；　Agnes；　you　wrong　him　
very　much。　He　my　bad　Angel；　or　anyone’s！　He；　anything　but　a　
guide；　a　support；　and　a　friend　to　me！　My　dear　Agnes！　Now；　is　it　not　
unjust；　and　unlike　you；　to　judge　him　from　what　you　saw　of　me　the　
other　night？’　

‘I　do　not　judge　him　from　what　I　saw　of　you　the　other　night；’　she　
quietly　replied。　

‘From　what；　then？’　

‘From　many　things—trifles　in　themselves；　but　they　do　not　seem　
to　me　to　be　so；　when　they　are　put　together。　I　judge　him；　partly　
from　your　account　of　him；　Trotwood；　and　your　character；　and　the　
influence　he　has　over　you。’　

There　was　always　something　in　her　modest　voice　that　seemed　
to　touch　a　chord　within　me；　answering　to　that　sound　alone。　It　was　
always　earnest；　but　when　it　was　very　earnest；　as　it　was　now；　there　
was　a　thrill　in　it　that　quite　subdued　me。　I　sat　looking　at　her　as　she　
cast　her　eyes　down　on　her　work；　I　sat　seeming　still　to　listen　to　her；　
and　Steerforth；　in　spite　of　all　my　attachment　to　him；　darkened　in　
that　tone。　

‘It　is　very　bold　in　me；’　said　Agnes；　looking　up　again；　‘who　have　
lived　in　such　seclusion；　and　can　know　so　little　of　the　world；　to　give　
you　my　advice　so　confidently；　or　even　to　have　this　strong　opinion。　
But　I　know　in　what　it　is　engendered；　Trotwood；—in　how　true　a　
remembrance　of　our　having　grown　up　together；　and　in　how　true　
an　interest　in　all　relating　to　you。　It　is　that　which　makes　me　bold。　I　
am　certain　that　what　I　say　is　right。　I　am　quite　sure　it　is。　I　feel　as　if　it　
were　someone　else　speaking　to　you；　and　not　I；　when　I　caution　you　

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David　Copperfield　

that　you　have　made　a　dangerous　friend。’　

Again　I　looked　at　her；　again　I　listened　to　her　after　she　was　
silent；　and　again　his　image；　though　it　was　still　fixed　in　my　heart；　
darkened。　

‘I　am　not　so　unreasonable　as　to　expect；’　said　Agnes；　resuming　
her　usual　tone；　after　a　little　while；　‘that　you　will；　or　that　you　can；　at　
once；　change　any　sentiment　that　has　become　a　conviction　to　you；　
least　of　all　a　sentiment　that　is　rooted　in　your　trusting　disposition。　
You　ought　not　hastily　to　do　that。　I　only　ask　you；　Trotwood；　if　you　
ever　think　of　me—I　mean；’　with　a　quiet　smile；　for　I　was　going　to　
interrupt　her；　and　she　knew　why；　‘as　often　as　you　think　of　me—to　
think　of　what　I　have　said。　Do　you　forgive　me　for　all　this？’　

‘I　will　forgive　you；　Agnes；’　I　replied；　‘when　you　come　to　do　
Steerforth　justice；　and　to　like　him　as　well　as　I　do。’　

‘Not　until　then？’　said　Agnes。　

I　saw　a　passing　shadow　on　her　face　when　I　made　this　mention　
of　him；　but　she　returned　my　smile；　and　we　were　again　as　
unreserved　in　our　mutual　confidence　as　of　old。　

‘And　when；　Agnes；’　said　I；　‘will　you　forgive　me　the　other　night？’　

‘When　I　recall　it；’　said　Agnes。　

She　would　have　dismissed　the　subject　so；　but　I　was　too　full　of　it　
to　allow　that；　and　insisted　on　telling　her　how　it　happened　that　I　
had　disgraced　myself；　and　what　chain　of　accidental　circumstances　
had　had　the　theatre　for　its　final　link。　It　was　a　great　relief　to　me　to　
do　this；　and　to　enlarge　on　the　obligation　that　I　owed　to　Steerforth　
for　his　care　of　me　when　I　was　unable　to　take　care　of　myself。　

‘You　must　not　forget；’　said　Agnes；　calmly　changing　the　
conversation　as　soon　as　I　had　concluded；　‘that　you　are　always　to　
tell　me；　not　only　when　you　fall　into　trouble；　but　when　you　fall　in　

Charles　Dickens　ElecBook　Classics　


David　Copperfield　

love。　Who　has　succeeded　to　Miss　Larkins；　Trotwood？’　

‘No　one；　Agnes。’　

‘Someone；　Trotwood；’　said　Agnes；　laughing；　and　holding　up　her　
finger。　

‘No；　Agnes；　upon　my　word！　There　is　a　lady；　certainly；　at　Mrs。　
Steerforth’s　house；　who　is　very　clever；　and　whom　I　like　to　talk　to—　
Miss　Dartle—but　I　don’t　adore　her。’　

Agnes　laughed　again　at　her　own　penetration；　and　told　me　that　if　
I　were　faithful　to　her　in　my　confidence　she　thought　she　should　
keep　a　little　register　of　my　violent　attachments；　with　the　date；　
duration；　and　termination　of　each；　like　the　table　of　the　reigns　of　
the　kings　and　queens；　in　the　History　of　England。　Then　she　asked　
me　if　I　had　seen　Uriah。　

‘Uriah　Heep？’　said　I。　‘No。　Is　he　in　London？’　

‘He　comes　to　the　office　downstairs；　every　day；’　returned　Agnes。　
‘He　was　in　London　a　week　before　me。　I　am　afraid　on　disagreeable　
business；　Trotwood。’　

‘On　some　business　that　makes　you　uneasy；　Agnes；　I　see；’　said　I。　
‘What　can　that　be？’　

Agnes　laid　aside　her　work；　and　replied；　folding　her　hands　upon　
one　another；　and　looking　pensively　at　me　out　of　those　beautiful　
soft　eyes　of　hers：　

‘I　believe　he　is　going　to　enter　into　partnership　with　papa。’　

‘What？　Uriah？　That　mean；　fawning　fellow；　worm　himself　into　
such　promotion！’　I　cried；　indignantly。　‘Hav