the uncommercial traveller-第15部分
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as on a burning…glass; I felt that now; indeed; I was in the dear
old France of my affections。 I should have known it; without the
well…remembered bottle of rough ordinary wine; the cold roast fowl;
the loaf; and the pinch of salt; on which I lunched with
unspeakable satisfaction; from one of the stuffed pockets of the
chariot。
I must have fallen asleep after lunch; for when a bright face
looked in at the window; I started; and said:
'Good God; Louis; I dreamed you were dead!'
My cheerful servant laughed; and answered:
'Me? Not at all; sir。'
'How glad I am to wake! What are we doing Louis?'
'We go to take relay of horses。 Will you walk up the hill?'
'Certainly。'
Welcome the old French hill; with the old French lunatic (not in
the most distant degree related to Sterne's Maria) living in a
thatched dog…kennel half…way up; and flying out with his crutch and
his big head and extended nightcap; to be beforehand with the old
men and women exhibiting crippled children; and with the children
exhibiting old men and women; ugly and blind; who always seemed by
resurrectionary process to be recalled out of the elements for the
sudden peopling of the solitude!
'It is well;' said I; scattering among them what small coin I had;
'here comes Louis; and I am quite roused from my nap。'
We journeyed on again; and I welcomed every new assurance that
France stood where I had left it。 There were the posting…houses;
with their archways; dirty stable…yards; and clean post…masters'
wives; bright women of business; looking on at the putting…to of
the horses; there were the postilions counting what money they got;
into their hats; and never making enough of it; there were the
standard population of grey horses of Flanders descent; invariably
biting one another when they got a chance; there were the fleecy
sheepskins; looped on over their uniforms by the postilions; like
bibbed aprons when it blew and rained; there were their Jack…boots;
and their cracking whips; there were the cathedrals that I got out
to see; as under some cruel bondage; in no wise desiring to see
them; there were the little towns that appeared to have no reason
for being towns; since most of their houses were to let and nobody
could be induced to look at them; except the people who couldn't
let them and had nothing else to do but look at them all day。 I
lay a night upon the road and enjoyed delectable cookery of
potatoes; and some other sensible things; adoption of which at home
would inevitably be shown to be fraught with ruin; somehow or
other; to that rickety national blessing; the British farmer; and
at last I was rattled; like a single pill in a box; over leagues of
stones; until … madly cracking; plunging; and flourishing two grey
tails about … I made my triumphal entry into Paris。
At Paris; I took an upper apartment for a few days in one of the
hotels of the Rue de Rivoli; my front windows looking into the
garden of the Tuileries (where the principal difference between the
nursemaids and the flowers seemed to be that the former were
locomotive and the latter not): my back windows looking at all the
other back windows in the hotel; and deep down into a paved yard;
where my German chariot had retired under a tight…fitting archway;
to all appearance for life; and where bells rang all day without
anybody's minding them but certain chamberlains with feather brooms
and green baize caps; who here and there leaned out of some high
window placidly looking down; and where neat waiters with trays on
their left shoulders passed and repassed from morning to night。
Whenever I am at Paris; I am dragged by invisible force into the
Morgue。 I never want to go there; but am always pulled there。 One
Christmas Day; when I would rather have been anywhere else; I was
attracted in; to see an old grey man lying all alone on his cold
bed; with a tap of water turned on over his grey hair; and running;
drip; drip; drip; down his wretched face until it got to the corner
of his mouth; where it took a turn; and made him look sly。 One New
Year's Morning (by the same token; the sun was shining outside; and
there was a mountebank balancing a feather on his nose; within a
yard of the gate); I was pulled in again to look at a flaxen…haired
boy of eighteen; with a heart hanging on his breast … 'from his
mother;' was engraven on it … who had come into the net across the
river; with a bullet wound in his fair forehead and his hands cut
with a knife; but whence or how was a blank mystery。 This time; I
was forced into the same dread place; to see a large dark man whose
disfigurement by water was in a frightful manner comic; and whose
expression was that of a prize…fighter who had closed his eyelids
under a heavy blow; but was going immediately to open them; shake
his head; and 'come up smiling。' Oh what this large dark man cost
me in that bright city!
It was very hot weather; and he was none the better for that; and I
was much the worse。 Indeed; a very neat and pleasant little woman
with the key of her lodging on her forefinger; who had been showing
him to her little girl while she and the child ate sweetmeats;
observed monsieur looking poorly as we came out together; and asked
monsieur; with her wondering little eyebrows prettily raised; if
there were anything the matter? Faintly replying in the negative;
monsieur crossed the road to a wine…shop; got some brandy; and
resolved to freshen himself with a dip in the great floating bath
on the river。
The bath was crowded in the usual airy manner; by a male population
in striped drawers of various gay colours; who walked up and down
arm in arm; drank coffee; smoked cigars; sat at little tables;
conversed politely with the damsels who dispensed the towels; and
every now and then pitched themselves into the river head foremost;
and came out again to repeat this social routine。 I made haste to
participate in the water part of the entertainments; and was in the
full enjoyment of a delightful bath; when all in a moment I was
seized with an unreasonable idea that the large dark body was
floating straight at me。
I was out of the river; and dressing instantly。 In the shock I had
taken some water into my mouth; and it turned me sick; for I
fancied that the contamination of the creature was in it。 I had
got back to my cool darkened room in the hotel; and was lying on a
sofa there; before I began to reason with myself。
Of course; I knew perfectly well that the large dark creature was
stone dead; and that I should no more come upon him out of the
place where I had seen him dead; than I should come upon the
cathedral of Notre…Dame in an entirely new situation。 What
troubled me was the picture of the creature; and that had so
curiously and strongly painted itself upon my brain; that I could
not get rid of it until it was worn out。
I noticed the peculiarities of this possession; while it was a real
discomfort to me。 That very day; at dinner; some morsel on my
plate looked like a piece of him; and I was glad to get up and go
out。 Later in the evening; I was walking along the Rue St。 Honore;
when I saw a bill at a public room there; announcing small…sword
exercise; broad…sword exercise; wrestling; and other such feats。 I
went in; and some of the sword…play being very skilful; remained。
A specimen of our own national sport; The British Boaxe; was
announced to be given at the close of the evening。 In an evil
hour; I determined to wait for this Boaxe; as became a Briton。 It
was a clumsy specimen (executed by two English grooms out of
place); but one of the combatants; receiving a straight right…
hander with the glove between his eyes; did exactly what the large
dark creature in the Morgue had seemed going to do … and finished
me for that night。
There was rather a sickly smell (not at all an unusual fragrance in
Paris) in the little ante…room of my apartment at the hotel。 The
large dark creature in the Morgue was by no direct experience
associated with my sense of smell; because; when I came to the
knowledge of him; he lay behind a wall of thick plate…glass as good
as a wall of steel or marble for that matter。 Yet the whiff of the
room never failed to reproduce him。 What was more curious; was the
capriciousness with which his portrait seemed to light itself up in
my mind; elsewhere。 I might be walking in the Palais Royal; lazily
enjoying the shop windows; and might be regaling myself with one of
the ready…made clothes shops that are set out there。 My eyes;
wandering over impossible…waisted dressing…gowns and luminous
waistcoats; would fall upon the master; or the shopman; or even the
very dummy at the door; and would suggest to me; 'Something like
him!' … and instantly I was sickened again。
This would happen at the theatre; in the same manner。 Often it
would happen in the street; when I certainly was not looking for
the likeness; and when probably there was no likeness there。 It
was not because the creature was dead that I was so haunted;
because I know that I might have been (and I know it because I have
been) equally attended by the image of a living aversion。 This
lasted about a week。 The picture did not fade by degrees; in the
sense that it became a whit less forcible and distinct; but in the
sense that it obtruded itself less and less frequently。 The
experience may be worth considering by some who have the care of
children。 It would be difficult to overstate the intensity and
accuracy of an intelligent child's observation。 At that
impressible time of life; it must sometimes produce a fixed
impression。 If the fixed impression be of an object terrible to
the child; it will be (for want of reasoning upon) inseparable from
great fear。 Force the child at such a time; be Spartan with it;
send it into the dark against its will; leave it