four arthurian romances-第90部分

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if　only　once　before　he　died　I　had　held　him　in　my　arms！　　What？　　Yes；　certainly；　quite　unclad；　in　order　the　better　to　enjoy　him。　　If　he　is　dead；　I　am　very　wicked　not　to　destroy　myself。　　Why？　　Can　it　harm　my　lover　for　me　to　live　on　after　he　is　dead；　if　I　take　no　pleasure　in　anything　but　in　the　woe　I　bear　for　him？　　In　giving　myself　up　to　grief　after　his　death；　the　very　woes　I　court　would　be　sweet　to　me；　if　he　were　only　still　alive。　　It　is　wrong　for　a　woman　to　wish　to　die　rather　than　to　suffer　for　her　lover's　sake。　　It　is　certainly　sweet　for　me　to　mourn　him　long。　　I　would　rather　be　beaten　alive　than　die　and　be　at　rest。〃

（Vv。　4263…4414。）　　For　two　days　the　Queen　thus　mourned　for　him　without　eating　or　drinking；　until　they　thought　she　too　would　die。　There　are　plenty　of　people　ready　to　carry　bad　news　rather　than　good。　　The　news　reaches　Lancelot　that　his　lady　and　sweetheart　is　dead。　　You　need　have　no　doubt　of　the　grief　he　felt；　every　one　may　feel　sure　that　he　was　afflicted　and　overcome　with　grief。　　Indeed；　if　you　would　know　the　truth；　he　was　so　downcast　that　he　held　his　life　in　slight　esteem。　　He　wished　to　kill　himself　at　once；　but　first　he　uttered　a　brief　lament。　　He　makes　a　running　noose　at　one　end　of　the　belt　he　wore；　and　then　tearfully　communes　thus　with　himself：　〃Ah；　death；　how　hast　thou　spied　me　out　and　undone　me；　when　in　the　bloom　of　health！　　I　am　undone；　and　yet　I　feel　no　pain　except　the　grief　within　my　heart。　　This　is　a　terrible　mortal　grief。　　I　am　willing　that　it　should　be　so；　and　if　God　will；　I　shall　die　of　it。　　Then　can　I　not　die　some　other　way；　without　God's　consent？　　Yes；　if　he　will　let　me　tie　this　noose　around　my　neck。　　I　think　I　can　compel　death；　even　against　her　will；　to　take　my　life。　　Death；　who　covets　only　those　who　fear　her；　will　not　come　to　me；　but　my　belt　will　bring　her　within　my　power；　and　as　soon　as　she　is　mine；　she　will　execute　my　desire。　　But；　in　truth；　she　will　come　too　tardily　for　me；　for　I　yearn　to　have　her　now！〃　Then　he　delays　and　hesitates　no　longer；　but　adjusts　his　head　within　the　noose　until　it　rests　about　his　neck；　and　in　order　that　he　may　not　fail　to　harm　himself；　he　fastens　the　end　of　the　belt　tightly　about　the　saddle…bow；　without　attracting　the　attention　of　any　one。　　Then　he　let　himself　slide　to　earth；　intending　his　horse　to　drag　him　until　he　was　lifeless；　for　he　disdains　to　live　another　hour。　　When　those　who　ride　with　him　see　him　fallen　to　earth；　they　suppose　him　to　be　in　a　faint；　for　no　one　sees　the　noose　which　he　had　attached　about　his　neck。　　At　once　they　caught　him　in　their　arms　and；　on　raising　him；　they　found　the　noose　which　he　had　put　around　his　neck　and　with　which　he　sought　to　kill　himself。　　They　quickly　cut　the　noose；　but　the　noose　had　so　hurt　his　throat　that　for　some　time　he　could　not　speak；　the　veins　of　his　neck　and　throat　are　almost　broken。　　Now　he　could　not　harm　himself；　even　had　he　wished　to　do　so；　however；　he　is　grieved　that　they　have　laid　hands　on　him；　and　he　almost　burns　up　with　rage；　for　willingly　would　he　have　killed　himself　had　no　one　chanced　to　notice　him。　　And　now　when　he　cannot　harm　himself；　he　cries：　〃Ah；　vile　and　shameless　death！　　For　God's　sake；　why　hadst　thou　not　the　power　and　might　to　kill　me　before　my　lady　died？　　I　suppose　it　was　because　thou　wouldst　not　deign　to　do　what　might　be　a　kindly　deed。　If　thou　didst　spare　me；　it　must　be　attributed　to　thy　wickedness。　Ah；　what　kind　of　service　and　kindness　is　that！　　How　well　hast　thou　employed　them　here！　　A　curse　upon　him　who　thanks　thee　or　feels　gratitude　for　such　a　service！　　I　know　not　which　is　more　my　enemy：　life；　which　detains　me；　or　death；　which　will　not　slay　me。　Each　one　torments　me　mortally；　and　it　serves　me　right；　so　help　me　God；　that　in　spite　of　myself　I　should　still　live　on。　　For　I　ought　to　have　killed　myself　as　soon　as　my　lady　the　Queen　showed　her　hate　for　me；　she　did　not　do　it　without　cause；　but　she　had　some　good　reason；　though　I　know　not　what　it　is。　　And　if　I　had　known　what　it　was　before　her　soul　went　to　God；　I　should　have　made　her　such　rich　amends　as　would　have　pleased　her　and　gained　her　mercy。　God！　　what　could　my　crime　have　been？　　I　think　she　must　have　known　that　I　mounted　upon　the　cart。　　I　do　not　know　what　other　cause　she　can　have　to　blame　me。　　This　has　been　my　undoing。　　If　this　is　the　reason　of　her　hate；　God！　　what　harm　could　this　crime　do？　　Any　one　who　would　reproach　me　for　such　an　act　never　knew　what　love　is；　for　no　one　could　mention　anything　which；　if　prompted　by　love；　ought　to　be　turned　into　a　reproach。　　Rather；　everything　that　one　can　do　for　his　lady…love　is　to　be　regarded　as　a　token　of　his　love　and　courtesy。　　Yet；　I　did　not　do　it　for　my　‘lady…love'。　　I　know　not　by　what　name　to　call　her；　whether　‘lady…love'；　or　not。　　I　do　not　dare　to　call　her　by　this　name。　　But　I　think　I　know　this　much　of　love：　that　if　she　loved　me；　she　ought　not　to　esteem　me　less　for　this　crime；　but　rather　call　me　her　true　lover；　inasmuch　as　I　regarded　it　as　an　honour　to　do　all　love　bade　me　do；　even　to　mount　upon　a　cart。　　She　ought　to　ascribe　this　to　love；　and　this　is　a　certain　proof　that　love　thus　tries　his　devotees　and　thus　learns　who　is　really　his。　　But　this　service　did　not　please　my　lady；　as　I　discovered　by　her　countenance。　　And　yet　her　lover　did　for　her　that　for　which　many　have　shamefully　reproached　and　blamed　him；　though　she　was　the　cause　of　it；　and　many　blame　me　for　the　part　I　have　played；　and　have　turned　my　sweetness　into　bitterness。　　In　truth；　such　is　the　custom　of　those　who　know　so　little　of　love；　that　even　honour　they　wash　in　shame。　　But　whoever　dips　honour　into　shame；　does　not　wash　it；　but　rather　sullies　it。　　But　they；　who　maltreat　him　so；　are　quite　ignorant　of　love；　and　he；　who　fears　not　his　commands；　boasts　himself　very　superior　to　him。　　For　unquestionably　he　fares　well　who　obeys　the　commands　of　love；　and　whatever　he　does　is　pardonable；　but　he　is　the　coward　who　does　not　dare。〃

（Vv。　4415…4440。）　　Thus　Lancelot　makes　his　lament；　and　his　men　stand　grieving　by　his　side；　keeping　hold　of　him　and　guarding　him。　Then　the　news　comes　that　the　Queen　is　not　dead。　　Thereupon　Lancelot　at　once　takes　comfort；　and　if　his　grief　for　her　death　had　before　been　intense　and　deep；　now　his　joy　for　her　life　was　a　hundred　thousand　times　as　great。　　And　when　they　arrived　within　six　or　seven　leagues　of　the　castle　where　King　Bademagu　was；　grateful　news　of　Lancelot　was　told　him；　how　he　was　alive　and　was　coming　hale　and　hearty；　and　this　news　the　king　was　glad　to　hear。　He　did　a　very　courteous　thing　in　going　at　once　to　appraise　the　Queen。　　And　she　replies：　〃Fair　sire；　since　you　say　so；　I　believe　it　is　true；　but　I　assure　you　that；　if　he　were　dead；　I　should　never　be　happy　again。　　All　my　joy　would　be　cut　off；　if　a　knight　had　been　killed　in　my　service。〃

（Vv。　4441…4530。）　　Then　the　king　leaves　her；　and　the　Queen　yearns　ardently　for　the　arrival　of　her　lover　and　her　joy。　　She　has　no　desire　this　time　to　bear　him　any　grudge。　　But　rumour；　which　never　rests　but　runs　always　unceasingly；　again　reaches　the　Queen　to　the　effect　that　Lancelot　would　have　killed　himself　for　her　sake；　if　he　had　had　the　chance。　　She　is　happy　at　the　thought　that　this　is　true；　but　she　would　not　have　had　it　happen　so　for　anything；　for　her　sorrow　would　have　been　too　great。　　Thereupon　Lancelot　arrived　in　haste。　（22）　　As　soon　as　the　king　sees　him；　he　runs　to　kiss　and　embrace　him。　　He　feels　as　if　he　ought　to　fly；　borne　along　by　the　buoyancy　of　his　joy。　　But　his　satisfaction　is　cut　short　by　those　who　had　taken　and　bound　his　guest；　and　the　king　tells　them　they　have　come　in　an　evil　hour；　for　they　shall　all　be　killed　and　confounded。　　Then　they　made　answer　that　they　thought　he　would

have　it　so。　　〃It　is　I　whom　you　have　insulted　in　doing　your　pleasure。　　He　has　no　reason　to　complain；〃　the　king　replies；　〃you　have　not　shamed　him　at　all；　but　only　me　who　was　protecting　him。　However　you　look　at　it；　the　shame　is　mine。　　But　if　you　escape　me　now；　you　will　see　no　joke　in　this。〃　　When　Lancelot　hears　his　wrath；　he　puts　forth　every　effort　to　make　peace　and　adjust　matters；　when　his　efforts　have　met　with　success；　the　king　takes　him　away　to　see　the　Queen。　　This　time　the　Queen　did　not　lower　her　eyes　to　the　ground；　but　she　went　to　meet　him　cheerfully；　honouring　him　all　she　could；　and　making　him　sit　down　by　her　side。　Then　they　talked　together　at　length　of　all　that　was　upon　their　hearts；　and　love　furnished　them　with　so　much　to　say　that　topics　did　not　lack。　　And　when　Lancelot　sees　how　well　he　stands；　and　that　all　he　says　finds　favour　with　the　Queen；　he　says　to　her　in　confidence：　〃Lady；　I　marvel　greatly　why　you　received　me　with　such　a　countenance　when　you　saw　me　the　day　before　yesterday；　and　why　you　would　not　speak　a　word　to　me：　I　almost　died　of　the　blow　you　gave　me；　and　I　had　not　the　courage　to　dare　to　question　you　about　it；　as　I　now　venture　to　do。　　I　am　ready　now；　lady；　to　make　amends；　when　you　have　told　me　what　has　been　the　crime　which　has　caused　me　such　distress。〃　　Then　the　Queen　replies：　〃What？　　Did　you　not　hesitate　for　shame　to　mount　the　cart？　　You　showed　you　were　loath　to　get　in；　when　you　hesitated　for　two　whole　steps。　That　is　the　reason　why　I　would　neither　address　nor　look　at　you。〃　〃May　God　save　me　from　such　a　crime　again；〃　Lancelot　replies；　〃and　may　God　show　me　no　mercy；　if　you　were　not　quite　right！　　For　God's　sake；　lady；　receive　my　amends　at　once；　and　tell　me；　for　God's　sake；　if　you　can　ever　pardon　me。〃　　〃Friend；　you　are　quite　forgiven；〃　the　Queen　replies；　〃I　pardon　you　willingly。〃　　〃Thank　you　for　that；　lady；〃　he　then　says；　〃but　I　cannot　tell　you　here　all　that　I　should　like　to　say；　I　should　like　to　talk　with　you　more　at　leisure；　if　possible。〃　　Then　the　Queen　indicates　a　window　by　her　glance　rather　than　with　her　finger；　and　says：　〃Come　through　the　garden　to…night　and　speak　with　me　at　yonder　window；　when　every　one　inside　has　gone　to　sleep。　　You　will　not　be　able　to　get　in：　I　shall　be　inside　and　you　outside：　to　gain　entrance　will　be　impossible。　　I　shall　be　able　to　touch　you　only　with　my　lips　or　hand；　but；　if　you　please；　I　will　stay　there　until　morning　for　love　of　you。　　Our　bodies　cannot　be　joined；　for　close　beside　me　in　my　room　lies　Kay　the　seneschal；　who　is　still　suffering　from　his　wounds。　　And　the　door　is　not　open；　but　is　tightly　closed　and　guarded　well。　　When　you　come；　take　care　to　let　no　spy　catch　sight　of　you。〃　　〃Lady；〃　says　he；　〃if　I