the ninth vibration-第15部分

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That　is　the　inventory　of　the　place　I　have　loved　best　in　the　world；　but　what　eloquence　can　describe　what　it　gave　me；　what　its　memory　gives　me　to　this　day？　And　I　have　no　eloquence　…　what　I　felt　leaves　me　dumb。

〃It　is　perfect；〃　was　all　I　said　as　she　waved　her　hand　proudly。　〃It　is　home。〃

〃And　if　you　had　come　alone　to　Kashmir　you　would　have　had　a　great　rich　boat　with　electric　light　and　a　butler。　You　would　never　have　seen　the　people　except　at　meal　…　times。　I　think　you　will　like　this　better。　Well；　this　is　your　tiny　bedroom；　and　your　bathroom；　and　beyond　the　sitting　…　room　are　mine。　Do　you　like　it　all？〃

But　I　could　say　no　more。　The　charm　of　her　own　personality　had　touched　everything　and　left　its　fragrance　like　a　flower　…　breath　in　the　air。　I　was　beggared　of　thanks；　but　my　whole　soul　was　gratitude。　We　dined　on　the　bank　that　evening；　the　lamp　burning　steadily　in　the　still　air　and　throwing　broken　reflections　in　the　water；　while　the　moon　looked　in　upon　them　through　the　leaves。　I　felt　extraordinarily　young　and　happy。

The　quiet　of　her　voice　was　soft　as　the　little　lap　of　water　against　the　bows　of　the　boat；　and　Kahdra；　the　Orange　Imp；　was　singing　a　little　wordless　song　to　himself　as　he　washed　the　plates　beside　us。　It　was　a　simple　meal；　and　Vanna；　abstemious　as　a　hermit　never　ate　anything　but　rice　and　fruit；　but　I　could　remember　no　meal　in　all　my　days　of　luxury　where　I　had　eaten　with　such　zest。

〃It　looks　very　grand　to　have　so　many　to　wait　upon　us；　doesn't　it？　But　this　is　one　of　the　cheapest　countries　in　the　world　though　the　old　timers　mourn　over　present　expenses。　You　will　laugh　when　I　show　you　your　share　of　the　cost。〃

〃The　wealth　of　the　world　could　not　buy　this；〃　I　said；　and　was　silent。

〃But　you　must　listen　to　my　plans。　We　must　do　a　little　camping　the　last　three　weeks　before　we　part。　Up　in　the　mountains。　Are　they　not　marvellous？　They　stand　like　a　rampart　round　us；　but　not　cold　and　terrible；　but　〃Like　as　the　hills　stand　round　about　Jerusalem〃　…　they　are　guardian　presences。　And　running　up　into　them；　high　…very　high；　are　the　valleys　and　hills　where　we　shall　camp。　Tomorrow　we　shall　row　through　Srinagar；　by　the　old　Maharaja's　palace。〃



V

And　so　began　a　life　of　sheer　enchantment。　We　knew　no　one。　The　visitors　in　Kashmir　change　nearly　every　season；　and　no　one　cared…no　one　asked　anything　of　us；　and　as　for　our　shipmates；　a　willing　affectionate　service　was　their　gift；　and　no　more。　Looking　back；　I　know　in　what　a　wonder…world　I　was　privileged　to　live。　Vanna　could　talk　with　them　all。　She　did　not　move　apart；　a　condescending　or　indifferent　foreigner。　Kahdra　would　come　to　her　knee　and　prattle　to　her　of　the　great　snake　that　lived　up　on　Mahadeo　to　devour　erring　boys　who　omitted　their　prayers　at　proper　Moslem　intervals。　She　would　sit　with　the　baby　in　her　lap　while　the　mother　busied　herself　in　the　sunny　bows　with　the　mysterious　dishes　that　smelt　so　savory　to　a　hungry　man。　The　cuts；　the　bruises　of　the　neighbourhood　all　came　to　Vanna　for　treatment。

〃I　am　graduating　as　a　nurse；〃　she　would　say　laughing　as　she　bent　over　the　lean　arm　of　some　weirdly　wrinkled　old　lady；　bandaging　and　soothing　at　the　same　moment。　Her　reward　would　be　some　bit　of　folk…lore；　some　quaintness　of　gratitude　that　I　noted　down　in　the　little　book　I　kept　for　remembrance　…　that　I　do　not　need；　for　every　word　is　in　my　heart。

We　rowed　down　through　the　city　next　day　…　Salama　rowing；　and　little　Kahdra　lazily　paddling　at　the　bow　…　a　wonderful　city；　with　its　narrow　ways　begrimed　with　the　dirt　of　ages；　and　its　balconied　houses　looking　as　if　disease　and　sin　had　soaked　into　them　and　given　them　a　vicious　tottering　beauty；　horrible　and　yet　lovely　too。　We　saw　the　swarming　life　of　the　bazaar；　the　white　turbans　coming　and　going；　diversified　by　the　rose　and　yellow　Hindu　turbans；　and　the　caste…marks；　orange　and　red；　on　the　dark　brows。

I　saw　two　women　…　girls　…　painted　and　tired　like　Jezebel；　looking　out　of　one　window　carved　and　old；　and　the　grey　burnished　doves　flying　about　it。　They　leaned　indolently；　like　all　the　old；　old　wickedness　of　the　East　that　yet　is　ever　young　…　〃Flowers　of　Delight；〃　with　smooth　black　hair　braided　with　gold　and　blossoms；　and　covered　with　pale　rose　veils；　and　gold　embossed　disks　swinging　like　lamps　beside　the　olive　cheeks；　the　great　eyes　artificially　lengthened　and　darkened　with　soorma；　and　the　curves　of　the　full　lips　emphasized　with　vermilion。　They　looked　down　on　us　with　apathy；　a　dull　weariness　that　held　all　the　old　evil　of　the　wicked　humming　city。

It　had　taken　shape　in　those　indolent　bodies　and　heavy　eyes　that　could　flash　into　life　as　a　snake　wakes　into　fierce　darting　energy　when　the　time　comes　to　spring　…　direct　inheritrixes　from　Lilith；　in　the　fittest　setting　in　the　world　…　the　almost　exhausted　vice　of　an　Oriental　city　as　old　as　time。

〃And　look…below　here；〃　said　Vanna；　pointing　to　one　of　the　ghauts　…　long　rugged　steps　running　down　to　the　river。

〃When　I　came　yesterday；　a　great　broken　crowd　was　collected　here；　almost　shouldering　each　other　into　the　water　where　a　boat　lay　rocking。　In　it　lay　the　body　of　a　man　brutally　murdered　for　the　sake　of　a　few　rupees　and　flung　into　the　river。　I　could　see　the　poor　brown　body　stark　in　the　boat　with　a　friend　weeping　beside　it。　On　the　lovely　deodar　bridge　people　leaned　over；　watching　with　a　grim　open…mouthed　curiosity；　and　business　went　on　gaily　where　the　jewelers　make　the　silver　bangles　for　slender　wrists；　and　the　rows　of　silver　chains　that　make　the　necks　like　'the　Tower　of　Damascus　builded　for　an　armory。'　It　was　all　very　wild　and　cruel。　I　went　down　to　them…〃

〃Vanna　…　you　went　down？　Horrible！〃

〃No；　you　see　I　heard　them　say　the　wife　was　almost　a　child　and　needs　help。　So　I　went。　Once　long　ago　at　Peshawar　I　saw　the　same　thing　happen；　and　they　came　and　took　the　child　for　the　service　of　the　gods；　for　she　was　most　lovely；　and　she　clung　to　the　feet　of　a　man　in　terror；　and　the　priest　stabbed　her　to　the　heart。　She　died　in　my　arms。

〃Good　God！〃　I　said；　shuddering；　〃what　a　sight　for　you！　Did　they　never　hang　him？〃

〃He　was　not　punished。　I　told　you　it　was　a　very　long　time　ago。　Her　expression　had　a　brooding　quiet　as　she　looked　down　into　the　running　river；　almost　it　might　be　as　if　she　saw　the　picture　of　that　past　misery　in　the　deep　water。　She　said　no　more。　But　in　her　words　and　the　terrible　crowding　of　its　life；　Srinagar　seemed　to　me　more　of　a　nightmare　than　anything　I　had　seen；　excepting　only　Benares；　for　the　holy　Benares　is　a　memory　of　horror；　with　a　sense　of　blood　hidden　under　its　frantic　crazy　devotion；　and　not　far　hidden　either。

Our　own　green　shade；　when　we　pulled　back　to　it　in　the　evening　cool；　was　a　refuge　of　unspeakable　quiet。　She　read　aloud　to　me　that　evening　by　the　small　light　of　our　lamp　beneath　the　trees；　and；　singularly；　she　read　of　joy。

〃I　have　drunk　of　the　Cup　of　the　Ineffable；　I　have　found　the　key　of　the　Mystery；　Travelling　by　no　track　I　have　come　to　the　Sorrowless　Land；　very　easily　has　the　mercy　of　the　great　Lord　come　upon　me。　Wonderful　is　that　Land　of　rest　to　which　no　merit　can　win。　There　have　I　seen　joy　filled　to　the　brim；　perfection　of　joy。　He　dances　in　rapture　and　waves　of　form　arise　from　His　dance。　He　holds　all　within　his　bliss。〃

〃What　is　that？〃

〃It　is　from　the　songs　of　the　great　Indian　mystic　…　Kabir。　Let　me　read　you　more。　It　is　like　the　singing　of　a　lark；　lost　in　the　infinite　of　light　and　heaven。〃

So　in　the　soft　darkness　I　heard　for　the　first　time　those　immortal　words；　and　hearing；　a　faint　glimmer　of　understanding　broke　upon　me　as　to　the　source　of　the　peace　that　surrounded　her。　I　had　accepted　it　as　an　emanation　of　her　own　heart　when　it　was　the　pulsing　of　the　tide　of　the　Divine。　She　read；　choosing　a　verse　here　and　there；　and　I　listened　with　absorption。

Suppose　I　had　been　wrong　in　believing　that　sorrow　is　the　keynote　of　life；　that　pain　is　the　road　of　ascent；　if　road　there　be；　that　an　implacable　Nature　and　that　only；　presides　over　all　our　pitiful　struggles　and　seekings　and　writes　a　black　〃Finis〃　to　the　holograph　of　our　existence？

What　then？　What　was　she　teaching　me？　Was　she　the　Interpreter　of　a　Beauty　eternal　in　the　heavens；　and　reflected　like　a　broken　prism　in　the　beauty　that　walked　visible　beside　me？　So　I　listened　like　a　child　to　an　unknown　language；　yet　ventured　my　protest。

〃In　India；　in　this　wonderful　country　where　men　have　time　and　will　for　speculation　such　thoughts　may　be　natural。　Can　they　be　found　in　the　West？〃

〃This　is　from　the　West　…　might　not　Kabir　himself　have　said　it？　Certainly　he　would　have　felt　it。　'Happy　is　he　who　seeks　not　to　understand　the　Mystery　of　God；　but　who；　merging　his　spirit　into　Thine；　sings　to　Thy　face；　0　Lord；　like　a　harp；　understanding　how　difficult　it　is　to　know　…　how　easy　to　love　Thee。'　We　debate　and　argue　and　the　Vision　passes　us　by。　We　try　to　prove　it；　and　kill　it　in　the　laboratory　of　our　minds；　when　on　the　altar　of　our　souls　it　will　dwell　for　ever。〃

Silence　…　and　I　pondered。　Finally　she　laid　the　book　aside；　and　repeated　from　memory　and　in　a　tone　of　perfect　music；　〃Kabir　says；　'I　shall　go　to　the　House　of　my　Lord　with　my　Love　at　my　side；　then　shall　I　sound　the　trumpet　of　triumph。'〃

And　when　she　left　me　alone　in　the　moonlight　silence　the　old　doubts　came　back　to　me　…　the　fear　that　I　saw　only　through　her　eyes；　and　began　to　believe　in　joy　only　because　I　loved　her。　I　remember　I　wrote　in　the　little　book　I　kept　for　my　stray　thoughts；　these　words　which　are　not　mine　but　reflect　my　thought　of　her；　〃Thine　is　the　skill　of　the　Fairy　Woman；　and　the　virtue　of　St。　Bride；　and　the　faith　of　Mary　the　Mild；　and　the　gracious　way　of　the　Greek　woman；　and　the　beauty　of　lovely　Emer；　and　the　tenderness　of　heart…sweet　Deirdre；　and　the　courage　of　Maev　the　great　Queen；　and　the　charm　of　Mouth…of…Music。〃

Yes；　all　that　and　more；　but　I　feared　lest　I　should　see　the　heaven　of　joy　through　her　eyes　only　and　find　it　mirage　as　I　had　found　so　much　else。

SECOND　PART　Early　in　the　pure　dawn　the　men　came　and　our　boat　was　towed　up　into　the　Dal　Lake　through　crystal　waterways　and　flowery　banks；　the　men　on　the　path　keeping　step　and　straining　at　the　rope　until　the　bronze　muscles　stood　out　on　their　legs　and　backs；　shouting　strong　rhythmic　phrases　to　mark　the　pull。

〃They　shout　the　Wondrous　Names　of　God　…　as　they　are　called；〃　said　Vanna　when　I　asked。　〃They　always　do　that　for　a　timid　effort