the lily of the valley-第34部分
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making me understand that she could not employ on my behalf an
authority to which she had recourse to protect her children。 I at once
answered the count seriously； taking up the political question； and
managing his peevish spirit with the utmost care。
〃Poor dear！ poor dear！〃 she murmured two or three times； the words
reaching my ear like a gentle breeze。 When she could intervene with
success she said； interrupting us； 〃Let me tell you； gentlemen； that
you are very dull company。〃
Recalled by this conversation to his chivalrous sense of what was due
to a woman； the count ceased to talk politics； and as we bored him in
our turn by commonplace matters； he presently left us to continue our
walk； declaring that it made his head spin to go round and round on
the same path。
My sad conjectures were true。 The soft landscape； the warm atmosphere；
the cloudless skies； the soothing poetry of this valley； which for
fifteen years had calmed the stinging fancies of that diseased mind；
were now impotent。 At a period of life when the asperities of other
men are softened and their angles smoothed； the disposition of this
man became more and more aggressive。 For the last few months he had
taken a habit of contradicting for the sake of contradiction； without
reason； without even trying to justify his opinions； he insisted on
knowing the why and the wherefore of everything； grew restless under a
delay or an omission； meddled with every item of the household
affairs； and compelled his wife and the servants to render him the
most minute and fatiguing account of all that was done； never allowing
them the slightest freedom of action。 Formerly he did not lose his
temper except for some special reason； now his irritation was
constant。 Perhaps the care of his farms； the interests of agriculture；
an active out…door life had formerly soothed his atrabilious temper by
giving it a field for its uneasiness； and by furnishing employment for
his activity。 Possibly the loss of such occupation had allowed his
malady to prey upon itself； no longer exercised on matters without； it
was showing itself in more fixed ideas； the moral being was laying
hold of the physical being。 He had lately become his own doctor； he
studied medical books； fancied he had the diseases he read of； and
took the most extraordinary and unheard of precautions about his
health；precautions never the same； impossible to foresee； and
consequently impossible to satisfy。 Sometimes he wanted no noise；
then； when the countess had succeeded in establishing absolute
silence； he would declare he was in a tomb； and blame her for not
finding some medium between incessant noise and the stillness of La
Trappe。 Sometimes he affected a perfect indifference for all earthly
things。 Then the whole household breathed freely； the children played；
family affairs went on without criticism。 Suddenly he would cry out
lamentably； 〃They want to kill me！My dear；〃 he would say to his
wife； increasing the injustice of his words by the aggravating tones
of his sharp voice； 〃if it concerned your children you would know very
well what was the matter with them。〃
He dressed and re…dressed himself incessantly； watching every change
of temperature； and doing nothing without consulting the barometer。
Notwithstanding his wife's attentions； he found no food to suit him；
his stomach being； he said； impaired； and digestion so painful as to
keep him awake all night。 In spite of this he ate； drank； digested；
and slept； in a manner to satisfy any doctor。 His capricious will
exhausted the patience of the servants； accustomed to the beaten track
of domestic service and unable to conform to the requirements of his
conflicting orders。 Sometimes he bade them keep all the windows open；
declaring that his health required a current of fresh air； a few days
later the fresh air； being too hot or too damp； as the case might be；
became intolerable； then he scolded； quarrelled with the servants； and
in order to justify himself； denied his former orders。 This defect of
memory； or this bad faith； call it which you will； always carried the
day against his wife in the arguments by which she tried to pit him
against himself。 Life at Clochegourde had become so intolerable that
the Abbe Dominis； a man of great learning； took refuge in the study of
scientific problems； and withdrew into the shelter of pretended
abstraction。 The countess had no longer any hope of hiding the secret
of these insane furies within the circle of her own home； the servants
had witnessed scenes of exasperation without exciting cause； in which
the premature old man passed the bounds of reason。 They were； however；
so devoted to the countess that nothing so far had transpired outside；
but she dreaded daily some public outburst of a frenzy no longer
controlled by respect for opinion。
Later I learned the dreadful details of the count's treatment of his
wife。 Instead of supporting her when the children were ill； he
assailed her with dark predictions and made her responsible for all
future illnesses； because she refused to let the children take the
crazy doses which he prescribed。 When she went to walk with them the
count would predict a storm in the face of a clear sky； if by chance
the prediction proved true； the satisfaction he felt made him quite
indifferent to any harm to the children。 If one of them was ailing；
the count gave his whole mind to fastening the cause of the illness
upon the system of nursing adopted by his wife； whom he carped at for
every trifling detail； always ending with the cruel words； 〃If your
children fall ill again you have only yourself to thank for it。〃
He behaved in the same way in the management of the household； seeing
the worst side of everything； and making himself； as his old coachman
said； 〃the devil's own advocate。〃 The countess arranged that Jacques
and Madeleine should take their meals alone at different hours from
the family； so as to save them from the count's outbursts and draw all
the storms upon herself。 In this way the children now saw but little
of their father。 By one of the hallucinations peculiar to selfish
persons； the count had not the slightest idea of the misery he caused。
In the confidential communication he made to me on my arrival he
particularly dwelt on his goodness to his family。 He wielded the
flail； beat； bruised； and broke everything about him as a monkey might
have done。 Then； having half…destroyed his prey； he denied having
touched it。 I now understood the lines on Henriette's forehead；fine
lines； traced as it were with the edge of a razor； which I had noticed
the moment I saw her。 There is a pudicity in noble minds which
withholds them from speaking of their personal sufferings； proudly
they hide the extent of their woes from hearts that love them； feeling
a merciful joy in doing so。 Therefore in spite of my urgency； I did
not immediately obtain the truth from Henriette。 She feared to grieve
me； she made brief admissions； and then blushed for them； but I soon
perceived myself the increase of trouble which the count's present
want of regular occupation had brought upon the household。
〃Henriette；〃 I said； after I had been there some days； 〃don't you
think you have made a mistake in so arranging the estate that the
count has no longer anything to do？〃
〃Dear；〃 she said； smiling； 〃my situation is critical enough to take
all my attention； believe me； I have considered all my resources； and
they are now exhausted。 It is true that the bickerings are getting
worse and worse。 As Monsieur de Mortsauf and I are always together； I
cannot lessen them by diverting his attention in other directions； in
fact the pain would be the same to me in any case。 I did think of
advising him to start a nursery for silk…worms at Clochegourde； where
we have many mulberry…trees； remains of the old industry of Touraine。
But I reflected that he would still be the same tyrant at home； and I
should have many more annoyances through the enterprise。 You will
learn； my dear observer； that in youth a man's ill qualities are
restrained by society； checked in their swing by the play of passions；
subdued under the fear of public opinion； later； a middle…aged man；
living in solitude； shows his native defects； which are all the more
terrible because so long repressed。 Human weaknesses are essentially
base； they allow of neither peace nor truce； what you yield to them
to…day they exact to…morrow； and always； they fasten on concessions
and compel more of them。 Power； on the other hand； is merciful； it
conforms to evidence； it is just and it is peaceable。 But the passions
born of weakness are implacable。 Monsieur de Mortsauf takes an
absolute pleasure in getting the better of me； and he who would
deceive no one else； deceives me with delight。〃
One morning as we left the breakfast table； about a month after my
arrival； the countess took me by the arm； darted through an iron gate
which led into the vineyard； and dragged me hastily among the vines。
〃He will kill me！〃 she cried。 〃And I want to livefor my children's
sake。 But oh！ not a day's respite！ Always to walk among thorns！ to
come near falling every instant！ every instant to have to summon all
my strength to keep my balance！ No human being can long endure such
strain upon the system。 If I were certain of the ground I ought to
take； if my resistance could be a settled thing； then my mind might
concentrate upon itbut no； every day the attacks change character
and leave me without defence； my sorrows are not one； they are
manifold。 Ah！ my friend〃 she cried； leaning her head upon my
shoulder； and not continuing her confidence。 〃What will become of me？
Oh； what shall I do？〃 she said presently； struggling with thoughts she
did not express。 〃How can I resist？ He will kill me！ No； I will kill
myselfbut that would be a crime！ Escape？ yes； but my children！
Separate fro
