the foundations of personality-第66部分

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　alleys　and　had　to　endure　the　mirth　of　his　friends　for　a　long　time。　But　it　did　not　change　his　reactions　in　the　least；　although　he　was　really　vexed　with　himself　and　endeavored　to　be　conventional　and　self…controlled　for　a　while。　The　point　is　that　F。　L。　attempts　inhibition　of　generous　impulses　and　fails　as　ignominiously　as　a　drunkard　struggling　with　the　desire　to　drink。　Of　course　he　is　of　the　salt　of　the　earth。　Upon　such　uninhibited　fellowship　feeling　as　his　rests　the　ethical　progress　of　the　world。　A　dozen　inventors　contribute　less　to　their　fellow　men　than　does　he。　For　their　contributions　may　be　used　to　destroy　or　enslave　their　fellows；　and　it　is　a　commonplace　that　science　has　outstripped　morals。　But　his　contributions　spread　kindly　feeling　and　the　notion　of　the　brotherhood　of　man。　The　over…inhibited；　those　whose　every　impulse　and　desire　is　subjected　to　a　scrutiny　and　a　blocking；　often　come　to　the　attention　of　the　neuropsychiatrist。　But　there　are　many　〃normal〃　people　who　fall　into　this　group；　and　whose　conduct　throughout　life　is　marked　by　a　scrupulosity　that　is　painful　to　behold。　The　over…inhibition　may　take　specific　directions；　as　in　the　thrifty　who　check　their　desires　in　the　wish　to　save　money；　or　the　industrious　who　hold　up　their　pleasures　and　recreations　in　the　fear　that　they　are　wasting　time。　A　sub…group　of　the　over…inhibited　I　call　the　over…conscientious；　and　it　is　one　of　these　whose　history　is　epitomized　here。　K。　has　always　had　〃ingrowing　scruples；〃　as　his　exasperated　mother　once　said。　As　a　small　child　he　never　obeyed　the　impulse　to　take　a　piece　of　cake　without　looking　around　to　see　if　his　mother　and　father　approved。　He　would　not　play　unreservedly；　in　the　whole…hearted　impulsive　way　of　children；　but　always　held　back　in　his　enjoyment　as　if　he　feared　that　perhaps　he　was　not　doing　just　right。　When　he　started　to　go　to　school　his　fear　of　doing　the　wrong　thing　made　him　appear　rather　slow；　though　in　reality　he　was　bright。　The　other　children　called　him　a　〃sissy；〃　mistaking　his　conscientiousness　for　cowardice。　This　grieved　him　very　much；　and　his　father　undertook　to　educate　him　in　〃rough〃　ways；　in　fighting　and　wrestling。　He　succeeded　in　this　to　the　extent　that　K。　learned　to　fight　when　he　believed　that　he　was　being　wronged；　but　he　never　seemed　to　learn　the　aggressiveness　necessary　to　get　even　a　fair　share　of　his　rights。　His　mother；　a　similar　type；　rather　encouraged　him　in　this　virtue；　much　to　the　disgust　of　the　father。　Not　to　spend　too　long　a　time　over　K。's　history；　we　may　pass　quickly　over　his　school　years　until　he　entered　college。　He　was　a　〃grind〃　if　there　ever　was　one；　studying　day　and　night。　He　had　developed　well　physically　and　because　of　his　hard　work　stood　near　the　top　of　his　class。　He　took　no　〃pleasures〃　of　any　kind；that　is；　he　played　no　cards；　went　to　no　dances；　never　took　in　a　show　and　of　course　was　strictly　moral。　It　seems　that　the　main　factor　that　held　him　back　was　the　notion　he　had　imbibed　early　in　his　career　that　pleasure　itself　was　somehow　not　worthy；　that　an　ideal　of　work　made　a　sort　of　sin　of　wasting　time。　Whenever　he　indulged　himself　by　rest　or　relaxation；　even　in　so　innocent　a　way　as　to　go　to　a　ball　game；　there　was　in　the　back　of　his　mind　the　idea；　〃I　might　have　been　studying　this　or　that；　or　working　on　such　a　subject；　I　am　wasting　time；〃　and　the　pleasure　would　go。　By　nature　K。　was　sociable　and　friendly　and　was　well　liked；　but　he　avoided　friendships　and　social　life　because　of　the　unpleasant　reproaches　of　his　work　conscience　and　the　rigor　of　his　work　inhibitions。　He　grew　tired；　developed　a　neurasthenic　set　of　symptoms；　and　thus　I　first　came　in　contact　with　him。　Once　he　understood　the　nature　of　his　trouble；　which　I　labeled　for　him　as　a　〃hypertrophied　work　conscience；〃　he　set　himself　the　task　of　learning　to　enjoy；　of　throwing　off　inhibition；　of　innocent　self…indulgence；　and　my　strong　point　that　he　would　work　the　better　for　pleasure　took　his　fancy　at　once。　He　succeeded　in　part　in　his　efforts；　but　of　course　will　always　debate　over　the　right　and　wrong　of　each　step　in　his　life。　This　one　example　of　a　high　type　of　the　over…inhibited　must　do　for　the　group。　There　is　a　related　type　who　in　ordinary　speech　find　it　〃difficult　to　make　up　their　minds；〃in　other　words；　are　unable　to　choose。　Bleuler　has　used　the　term　ambivalent；　thus　comparing　these　individuals　to　a　chemical　element　having　two　bonds　and　impelled　to　unite　with　two　substances。　The　ambivalent　personalities　are　always　brought　to　a　place　where　they　yearn　for　two　opposing　kinds　of　action　or　they　fear　to　choose　one　affinity　of　action　as　against　the　other。　They　are　in　the　position　of　the　unfortunate　swain　who　sang；　〃How　happy　I　could　be　with　either；　were　t'other　dear　charmer　away。〃　M。　is　one　of　these　helpless　ambivalent　folk；　always　running　to　others　for　advice　and　perplexed　to　a　frenzy　by　the　choices　of　life。　〃What　shall　I　do？〃　is　his　prime　question；　largely　because　he　fears　to　commit　himself　to　any　line　of　action。　Once　a　man　chooses；　he　shuts　a　great　many　doors　of　opportunity　and　gambles　with　Fate　that　he　has　chosen　right。　M。　knows　this　and　lacks　self…　confidence；　i。e。；　the　belief　that　he　will　choose　for　the　best　or　be　able　to　carry　it　through。　He　lacks　the　gambling　spirit；　the　willingness　to　put　his　destiny　to　fortune。　Often　M。　deliberates　or　rather　oscillates　for　so　long　a　time　that　the　matter　is　taken　from　his　hands。　Thus；　when　he　fell　in　love；　the　fear　of　being　refused；　of　making　a　mistake；　prevented　him　from　action；　and　the　young　woman　accepted　another；　less　ambivalent　suitor。　M。　is　in　business　with　his　father　and　is　entirely　a　subordinate；　because　he　cannot　choose。　He　carries　out　orders　well；　is　very　amiable　and　gentle；　is　liked　and　at　the　same　time　held　in　a　mild　contempt。　He　has　physical　courage　but　has　not　the　hardihood　of　soul　to　take　on　responsibility　for　choosing。　Sometimes　he　gets　good　ideas；　but　never　dares　to　put　them　into　execution　and　shifts　that　to　others。　He　hates　himself　for　this　weakness　in　an　essential　phase　of　personality　but　is　gradually　accepting　himself　as　an　inferior　person；　despite　intelligence；　training　and　social　connection。　Yet　his　sister　is　exactly　the　opposite　type。　She　makes　decisions　with　great　promptness；　never　hesitates；　is　〃cocksure〃　and　aggressive。　If　M。　is　ambivalent；　his　sister　B。　M。　is　univalent。　Choice　is　an　easy　matter　to　her；　though　she　is　not　impulsive。　She　rapidly　deliberates。　She　never　has　made　any　serious　errors　in　judgment；　but　if　she　makes　a　mistake　she　shrugs　her　shoulders　and　says；　〃It's　all　in　the　game。〃　Thus　she　is　a　leader　in　her　set；　for　if　some　difficulty　is　encountered；　her　mind　is　quickly　at　work　and　prompt　with　a　solution。　If　she　is　not　brilliant；　and　she　is　not；　she　collects　the　plans　of　her　associates　and　chooses　and　modifies　until　she　is　ready　with　her　own　plan。　Her　father　sighs　as　he　watches　her　and　regrets　that　she　is　not　a　man。　It　does　not　occur　to　him　or　any　of　his　family；　including　herself；　that　she　might　do　a　man's　work　in　the　business　world。　In　pathological　cases　the　inability　to　choose　becomes　so　marked　as　to　make　it　impossible　for　the　patient　to　choose　any　line　of　conduct。　〃To　do　or　not　to　do〃　extends　into　every　relationship　and　every　situation。　The　patient　cannot　choose　as　to　his　dress　or　his　meals；　cannot　decide　whether　to　stay　in　or　go　out；　finds　it　difficult　to　choose　to　cross　the　street　or　to　open　a　door；　is　thrown　into　a　pendulum　of　yea　and　nay　about　speaking；　etc。　This　psychasthenic　state；　the　folie　du　doute　of　the　French；　is　accompanied　by　fear；　restlessness　and　an　oppressive　feeling　of　unreality。　The　records　of　every　neurologist　contain　many　such　cases；　most　of　whom　recover；　but　a　few　go　on　to　severe　incurable　mental　disease。　I　pass　on；　without　regard　for　logic　or　completeness；　to　a　personality　type　that　we　may　call　the　anhedonic　or　simpler　a　restless；　not　easily　satisfied；　easily　disgusted　group。　Some　of　these　are　cyclothymic；　over…emotional；　often　monothymic　but　I　am　discussing　them　from　the　standpoint　of　their　satisfaction　with　life　and　its　experiences。　The　ordinary　label　of　〃finicky〃　well　expresses　the　type；　but　of　course　it　neglects　the　basic　psychology。　This　I　have　discussed　elsewhere　in　this　book　and　will　here　describe　two　cases；　one　a　congenital　type　and　the　other　acquired。　T。　was　born　dissatisfied；　so　his　mother　avers。　As　a　baby　he　was　〃a　difficult　feeding　case〃　because　the　very　slightest　cause；　the　least　change　in　the　milk；　upset　him；　a　fact　attested　to　by　vigorous　crying。　Babies　have　a　variability　in　desire　and　satisfaction　quite　as　much　as　their　elders。　Apparently　T。　thrived；　despite　his　start；　for　as　a　child　he　was　sturdy　looking。　Nevertheless；　in　toys；　games；　treats；　etc。；　he　was　hard　to　please　and　easy　to　displease。　He　turned　up　his　nose　if　a　toy　were　not　perfection；　and　he　had　to　have　his　food　prepared　according　to　specification　or　his　appetite　vanished。　Moreover；　he　had　a　very　limited　range　of　things　he　liked；　and　as　time　went　on　he　extended　that　list　but　little。　He　was　very　choice　in　his　clothesnot　at　all　a　regular　boyand　quite　disgusted　with　dirt　and　disorder。　〃A　little　old　maid〃　somebody　called　him；　having　in　mind　of　course　the　traditional　maiden　lady。　As　T。　grew　his　capacity　for　pleasure…feeling　did　not　increase。　On　the　contrary　his　attention　to　the　details　necessary　for　his　pleasure　made　of　him　one　of　those　finicky　connoisseurs　who；　though　never　really　pleased　with　anything；　get　a　sort　of　pleasure　in　pointing　out　the　crudity　of　other　people's　tastes　and　pleasures。　This　attitude　of　superiority　is　the　one　compensation　the　finicky　have；　and　since　they　are　often　fluent　of　speech　and　tend　to　write　and　lecture；　they　impose　their　notions　of　good　and　bad　upon　others；　who　seek　to　escape　being　〃common。〃　In　T。's　case　his　attitude　toward　food；　clothes；　companions；　sports　and　work　created　a　tense　disharmony　in　his　family；　and　one　of　his　brothers　labeled　him　〃The　Kill…joy。〃　Secretly　envious　of　other　people's　simple　enjoyment；　T。　made　strenuous　efforts　at　times　to　overcome　his　repugnances　and　to　enlarge　the　scope　of　his　pleasures；　but　because　this　forfeited　for　him　the　superiority　he　had　reached　as　a　very　〃refined〃　person；　he　never　persisted　in　this　process。　When　he　was　twenty　he　found　himself　the　theater　of　many　conflicts。　He　was　weary　of　life；　yet　lusted　for　experiences　that　his　hyperestheticism　would