thais-第2部分

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


a　balance；　the　ransom　of　the　world；　Paphnutius　began　to　think　of
Thais；　because　Thais　was　a　sin　to　him；　and　he　meditated　long；
according　to　ascetic　rules；　on　the　fearful　hideousness　of　the　carnal
delights　with　which　this　woman　had　inspired　him　in　the　days　of　his　sin
and　ignorance。　After　some　hours　of　meditation　the　image　of　Thais
appeared　to　him　clearly　and　distinctly。　He　saw　her　again；　as　he　had
seen　her　when　she　tempted　him；　in　all　the　beauty　of　the　flesh。　At
first　she　showed　herself　like　a　Leda；　softly　lying　upon　a　bed　of
hyacinths；　her　head　bowed；　her　eyes　humid　and　filled　with　a　strange
light；　her　nostrils　quivering；　her　mouth　half　open；　her　breasts　like
two　flowers；　and　her　arms　smooth　and　fresh　as　two　brooks。　At　this
sight　Paphnutius　struck　his　breast　and　said

〃I　call　Thee　to　witness；　my　God；　that　I　have　considered　how　heinous
has　been　my　sin。〃

Gradually　the　face　of　the　image　changed　its　expression。　Little　by
little　the　lips　of　Thais；　by　lowering　at　the　corners　of　the　mouth；
expressed　a　mysterious　suffering。　Her　large　eyes　were　filled　with
tears　and　lights；　her　breast　heaved　with　sighs；　like　the　sighing　of　a
wind　that　precedes　a　tempest。　At　this　sight　Paphnutius　was　troubled　to
the　bottom　of　his　soul。　Prostrating　himself　on　the　floor；　he　uttered
this　prayer

〃Thou　who　hast　put　pity　in　our　hearts；　like　the　morning　dew　upon　the
fields；　O　just　and　merciful　God；　be　Thou　blessed！　Praise！　praise　be
unto　Thee！　Put　away　from　Thy　servant　that　false　tenderness　which
tempts　to　concupiscence；　and　grant　that　I　may　only　love　Thy　creatures
in　Thee；　for　they　pass　away；　but　Thou　endurest　for　ever。　If　I　care　for
this　woman；　it　is　only　because　she　is　Thy　handiwork。　The　angels
themselves　feel　pity　for　her。　Is　she　not；　O　Lord；　the　breath　of　Thy
mouth？　Let　her　not　continue　to　sin　with　many　citizens　and　strangers。
There　is　great　pity　for　her　in　my　heart。　Her　wickednesses　are
abominable；　and　but　to　think　of　them　makes　my　flesh　creep。　But　the
more　wicked　she　is；　the　more　do　I　lament　for　her。　I　weep　when　I　think
that　the　devils　will　torment　her　to　all　eternity。〃

As　he　was　meditating　in　this　way；　he　saw　a　little　jackal　lying　at　his
feet。　He　felt　much　surprised；　for　the　door　of　his　cell　had　been　closed
since　the　morning。　The　animal　seemed　to　read　the　Abbot's　thoughts；　and
wagged　its　tail　like　a　dog。　Paphnutius　made　the　sign　of　the　cross　and
the　beast　vanished。　He　knew　then　that；　for　the　first　time；　the　devil
had　entered　his　cell；　and　he　uttered　a　short　prayer；　then　he　thought
again　about　Thais。

〃With　God's　help；〃　he　said　to　himself；　〃I　must　save　her。〃　And　he
slept。

The　next　morning；　when　he　had　said　his　prayers；　he　went　to　see　the
sainted　Palemon；　a　holy　hermit　who　lived　some　distance　away。　He　found
him　smiling　quietly　as　he　dug　the　ground；　as　was　his　custom。　Palemon
was　an　old　man；　and　cultivated　a　little　garden；　the　wild　beasts　came
and　licked　his　hands；　and　the　devils　never　tormented　him。

〃May　God　be　praised；　brother　Paphnutius；〃　he　said；　as　he　leaned　upon
his　spade。

〃God　be　praised！〃　replied　Paphnutius。　〃And　peace　be　unto　my　brother。〃

〃The　like　peace　be　unto　thee；　brother　Paphnutius；〃　said　Palemon；　and
he　wiped　the　sweat　from　his　forehead　with　his　sleeve。

〃Brother　Palemon；　all　our　discourse　ought　to　be　solely　the　praise　of
Him　who　has　promised　to　be　wheresoever　two　or　three　are　gathered
together　in　His　Name。　That　is　why　I　come　to　you　concerning　a　design　I
have　formed　to　glorify　the　Lord。〃

〃May　the　Lord　bless　thy　design；　Paphnutius；　as　He　has　blessed　my
lettuces。　Every　morning　He　spreads　His　grace　with　the　dew　on　my
garden；　and　His　goodness　causes　me　to　glorify　Him　in　the　cucumbers　and
melons　which　He　gives　me。　Let　us　pray　that　He　may　keep　us　in　His
peace。　For　nothing　is　more　to　be　feared　than　those　unruly　passions
which　trouble　our　hearts。　When　these　passions　disturb　us　we　are　like
drunken　men；　and　we　stagger　from　right　to　left　unceasingly；　and　are
like　to　fall　miserably。　Sometimes　these　passions　plunge　us　into　a
turbulent　joy；　and　he　who　gives　way　to　such；　sullies　the　air　with
brutish　laughter。　Such　false　joy　drags　the　sinner　into　all　sorts　of
excess。　But　sometimes　also　the　troubles　of　the　soul　and　of　the　senses
throw　us　into　an　impious　sadness　which　is　a　thousand　times　worse　than
the　joy。　Brother　Paphnutius；　I　am　but　a　miserable　sinner；　but　I　have
found；　in　my　long　life；　that　the　cenobite　has　no　foe　worse　than
sadness。　I　mean　by　that　the　obstinate　melancholy　which　envelopes　the
soul　as　in　a　mist；　and　hides　from　us　the　light　of　God。　Nothing　is　more
contrary　to　salvation；　and　the　devil's　greatest　triumph　is　to　sow
black　and　bitter　thoughts　in　the　heart　of　a　good　man。　If　he　sent　us
only　pleasurable　temptations；　he　would　not　be　half　so　much　to　be
feared。　Alas！　he　excels　in　making　us　sad。　Did　he　not　show　to　our
father　Anthony　a　black　child　of　such　surpassing　beauty　that　the　very
sight　of　it　drew　tears？　With　God's　help；　our　father　Anthony　avoided
the　snares　of　the　demon。　I　knew　him　when　he　lived　amongst　us；　he　was
cheerful　with　his　disciples；　and　never　gave　way　to　melancholy。　But　did
you　not　come；　my　brother；　to　talk　to　me　of　a　design　you　had　formed　in
your　mind？　Let　me　know　what　it　isif；　at　least；　this　design　has　for
its　object　the　glory　of　God。〃

〃Brother　Palemon；　what　I　propose　is　really　to　the　glory　of　God。
Strengthen　me　with　your　counsel；　for　you　know　many　things；　and　sin　has
never　darkened　the　clearness　of　your　mind。〃

〃Brother　Paphnutius；　I　am　not　worthy　to　unloose　the　latchet　of　thy
sandals；　and　my　sins　are　as　countless　as　the　sands　of　the　desert。　But
I　am　old；　and　I　will　never　refuse　the　help　of　my　experience。〃

〃I　will　confide　in　you；　then；　brother　Palemon；　that　I　am　stricken　with
grief　at　the　thought　that　there　is；　in　Alexandria；　a　courtesan　named
Thais；　who　lives　in　sin；　and　is　a　subject　of　reproach　unto　the
people。〃

〃Brother　Paphnutius；　that　is；　in　truth；　an　abomination　which　we　do
well　to　deplore。　There　are　many　women　amongst　the　Gentiles　who　lead
lives　of　that　kind。　Have　you　thought　of　any　remedy　for　this　great
evil？〃

〃Brother　Palemon；　I　will　go　to　Alexandria　and　find　this　woman；　and；
with　God's　help；　I　will　convert　her；　that　is　my　intention；　do　you
approve　of　it；　brother？〃

〃Brother　Paphnutius；　I　am　but　a　miserable　sinner；　but　our　father
Anthony　used　to　say；　'In　whatsoever　place　thou　art；　hasten　not　to
leave　it　to　go　elsewhere。'　〃

〃Brother　Palemon；　do　you　disapprove　of　my　project？〃

〃Dear　Paphnutius；　God　forbid　that　I　should　suspect　my　brother　of　bad
intentions。　But　our　father　Anthony　also　said；　'Fishes　die　on　dry　land；
and　so　is　it　with　those　monks　who　leave　their　cells　and　mingle　with
the　men　of　this　world；　amongst　whom　no　good　thing　is　to　be　found。'　〃

Having　thus　spoken；　the　old　man　pressed　his　foot　on　the　spade；　and
began　to　dig　energetically　round　a　fig　tree　laden　with　fruit。　As　he
was　thus　engaged；　there　was　a　rustling　in　the　bushes；　and　an　antelope
leaped　over　the　hedge　which　surrounded　the　garden；　it　stopped；
surprised　and　frightened；　its　delicate　legs　trembling；　then　ran　up　to
the　old　man；　and　laid　its　pretty　head　on　the　breast　of　its　friend。

〃God　be　praised　in　the　gazelle　of　the　desert；〃　said　Palemon。

He　went　to　his　hut；　the　light…footed　little　animal　trotting　after　him；
and　brought　out　some　black　bread；　which　the　antelope　ate　out　of　his
hand。

Paphnutius　remained　thoughtful　for　some　time；　his　eyes　fixed　upon　the
stones　at　his　feet。　Then　he　slowly　walked　back　to　his　cell；　pondering
on　what　he　had　heard。　A　great　struggle　was　going　on　in　his　mind。

〃The　hermit　gives　good　advice；〃　he　said　to　himself；　〃the　spirit　of
prudence　is　in　him。　And　he　doubts　the　wisdom　of　my　intention。　Yet　it
would　be　cruel　to　leave　Thais　any　longer　in　the　power　of　the　demon　who
possesses　her。　May　God　advise　and　conduct　me。〃

As　he　was　walking　along；　he　saw　a　plover；　caught　in　the　net　that　a
hunter　had　laid　on　the　sand；　and　he　knew　that　it　was　a　hen　bird；　for
he　saw　the　male　fly　to　the　net；　and　tear　the　meshes　one　by　one　with
its　beak；　until　it　had　made　an　opening　by　which　its　mate　could　escape。
The　holy　man　watched　this　incident；　and　as；　by　virtue　of　his　holiness；
he　easily　comprehended　the　mystic　sense　of　all　occurrences；　he　knew
that　the　captive　bird　was　no　other　than　Thais；　caught　in　the　snares　of
sin；　and　thatlike　the　plover　that　had　cut　the　hempen　threads　with
its　beakhe　could；　by　pronouncing　the　word　of　power；　break　the
invisible　bonds　by　which　Thais　was　held　in　sin。　Therefore　he　praised
God；　and　was　confirmed　in　his　first　resolution。　But　then　seeing　the
plover　caught　by　the　feet；　and　hampered　by　the　net　it　had　broken；　he
fell　into　uncertainty　again。

He　did　not　sleep　all　night；　and　before　dawn　he　had　a　vision。　Thais
appeared　to　him　again。　There　was　no　expression　of　guilty　pleasure　on
her　face；　nor　was　she　dressed　according　to　custom　in　transparent
drapery。　She　was　enveloped　in　a　shroud；　which　hid　even　a　part　of　her
face；　so　that　the　Abbot　could　see　nothing　but　the　two　eyes；　from　which
flowed　white　and　heavy　tears。

At　this　sight　he　began　to　weep；　and　believing　that　this　vision　came
from　God；　he　no　longer　hesitated。　He　rose；　seized　a　knotted　stick；　the
symbol　of　the　Christian　faith；　and　left　his　cell；　carefully　closing
the　door；　lest　the　animals　of　the　desert　and　the　birds　of　the　air
should　enter；　and　befoul　the　copy　of　the　Holy　Scriptures　which　stood
at　the　head　of　his　bed。　He　called　Flavian；　the　deacon；　and　gave　him
authority　over　the　other　twenty…three　disciples　during　his　absence；
and　then；　clad　only　in　a　long　cassock；　he　bent　his　steps　towards　the
Nile；　intending　to　follow　the　Libyan　bank　to　the　city　founded　by　the
Macedonian　monarch。　He　walked　from　dawn　to　eve；　indifferent　to
fatigue；　hunger；　and　thirst；　the　sun　was　already　low　on　the　horizon
when　he　saw　the　dreadful　river；　the　blood…red　waters　of　which　rolled
between　the　rocks　of　gold　and　fire。

He　kept　along　the　shore；　begging　his　bread　at　the　door　of　solitary
huts　for　the　love　of　God；　and　joyfully　receiving　insults；　refusals；　or
threats。　He　feared　neither　robbers　nor　wild　beasts；　but　he　took　great
care　to　avoid　all　the　towns　and　villages　he　came　near。　He　was　afraid
lest　he　should　see　children　playing