rambling idle excursion-第9部分

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a　person　would　properly　expect　to　find　there。　　This　gave　it　an
impressively　fraudulent　look。　　There　was　exactly　one　mahogany　tree　on　the
island。　　I　know　this　to　be　reliable；　because　I　saw　a　man　who　said　he　had
counted　it　many　a　time　and　could　not　be　mistaken。　　He　was　a　man　with　a
harelip　and　a　pure　heart；　and　everybody　said　he　was　as　true　as　steel。
Such　men　are　all　too　few。

One's　eye　caught　near　and　far　the　pink　cloud　of　the　oleander　and　the　red
blaze　of　the　pomegranate　blossom。　　In　one　piece　of　wild　wood　the　morning…
glory　vines　had　wrapped　the　trees　to　their　very　tops；　and　decorated　them
all　over　with　couples　and　clusters　of　great　bluebells…a　fine　and　striking
spectacle；　at　a　little　distance。　　But　the　dull　cedar　is　everywhere；　and
is　the　prevailing　foliage。　　One　does　not　appreciate　how　dull　it　is　until
the　varnished；　bright　green　attire　of　the　infrequent　lemon　tree
pleasantly　intrudes　its　contrast。　　In　one　thing　Bermuda　is　eminently
tropicalwas　in　May；　at　leastthe　unbrilliant；　slightly　faded；
unrejoicing　look　of　the　landscape。　　For　forests　arrayed　in　a　blemishless
magnificence　of　glowing　green　foliage　that　seems　to　exult　in　its　own
existence　and　can　move　the　beholder　to　an　enthusiasm　that　will　make　him
either　shout　or　cry；　one　must　go　to　countries　that　have　malignant
winters。

We　saw　scores　of　colored　farmers　digging　their　crops　of　potatoes　and
onions；　their　wives　and　children　helpingentirely　contented　and
comfortable；　if　looks　go　for　anything。　　We　never　met　a　man；　or　woman；　or
child　anywhere　in　this　sunny　island　who　seemed　to　be　unprosperous；　or
discontented；　or　sorry　about　anything。　　This　sort　of　monotony　became　very
tiresome　presently；　and　even　something　worse。　　The　spectacle　of　an　entire
nation　groveling　in　contentment　is　an　infuriating　thing。　　We　felt　the
lack　of　something　in　this　communitya　vague；　an　indefinable；　an　elusive
something；　and　yet　a　lack。　　But　after　considerable　thought　we　made　out
what　it　wastramps。　　Let　them　go　there；　right　now；　in　a　body。　　It　is
utterly　virgin　soil。　　Passage　is　cheap。　　Every　true　patriot　in　America
will　help　buy　tickets。　　Whole　armies　of　these　excellent　beings　can　be
spared　from　our　midst　and　our　polls；　they　will　find　a　delicious　climate
and　a　green；　kind…hearted　people。　　There　are　potatoes　and　onions　for　all；
and　a　generous　welcome　for　the　first　batch　that　arrives；　and　elegant
graves　for　the　second。

It　was　the　Early　Rose　potato　the　people　were　digging。　　Later　in　the　year
they　have　another　crop；　which　they　call　the　Garnet。　　We　buy　their
potatoes　（retail）　at　fifteen　dollars　a　barrel；　and　those　colored　farmers
buy　ours　for　a　song；　and　live　on　them。　　Havana　might　exchange　cigars　with
Connecticut　in　the　same　advantageous　way；　if　she　thought　of　it。

We　passed　a　roadside　grocery　with　a　sign　up；　〃Potatoes　Wanted。〃　　An
ignorant　stranger；　doubtless。　　He　could　not　have　gone　thirty　steps　from
his　place　without　finding　plenty　of　them。

In　several　fields　the　arrowroot　crop　was　already　sprouting。　　Bermuda　used
to　make　a　vast　annual　profit　out　of　this　staple　before　firearms　came　into
such　general　use。

The　island　is　not　large。　　Somewhere　in　the　interior　a　man　ahead　of　us　had
a　very　slow　horse。　　I　suggested　that　we　had　better　go　by　him；　but　the
driver　said　the　man　had　but　a　little　way　to　go。　　I　waited　to　see；
wondering　how　he　could　know。　　Presently　the　man　did　turn　down　another
road。　　I　asked；　〃How　did　you　know　he　would？〃

〃Because　I　knew　the　man；　and　where　he　lived。〃

I　asked　him；　satirically；　if　he　knew　everybody　in　the　island；　he
answered；　very　simply；　that　he　did。　　This　gives　a　body's　mind　a　good
substantial　grip　on　the　dimensions　of　the　place。

At　the　principal　hotel　at　St。　George's；　a　young　girl；　with　a　sweet；
serious　face；　said　we　could　not　be　furnished　with　dinner；　because　we　had
not　been　expected；　and　no　preparation　had　been　made。　　Yet　it　was　still　an
hour　before　dinner…time。　　We　argued；　she　yielded　not；　we　supplicated；　she
was　serene。　　The　hotel　had　not　been　expecting　an　inundation　of　two
people；　and　so　it　seemed　that　we　should　have　to　go　home　dinnerless。
I　said　we　were　not　very　hungry　a　fish　would　do。　　My　little　maid　answered；
it　was　not　the　market…day　for　fish。　　Things　began　to　look　serious；　but
presently　the　boarder　who　sustained　the　hotel　came　in；　and　when　the　case
was　laid　before　him　he　was　cheerfully　willing　to　divide。　　So　we　had　much
pleasant　chat　at　table　about　St。　George's　chief　industry；　the　repairing
of　damaged　ships；　and　in　between　we　had　a　soup　that　had　something　in　it
that　seemed　to　taste　like　the　hereafter；　but　it　proved　to　be　only　pepper
of　a　particularly　vivacious　kind。　　And　we　had　an　iron…clad　chicken　that
was　deliciously　cooked；　but　not　in　the　right　way。　　Baking　was　not　the
thing　to　convince　this　sort。　　He　ought　to　have　been　put　through　a　quartz…
mill　until　the　〃tuck〃　was　taken　out　of　him；　and　then　boiled　till　we　came
again。　　We　got　a　good　deal　of　sport　out　of　him；　but　not　enough　sustenance
to　leave　the　victory　on　our　side。　　No　matter；　we　had　potatoes　and　a　pie
and　a　sociable　good　time。　　Then　a　ramble　through　the　town；　which　is　a
quaint　one；　with　interesting；　crooked　streets；　and　narrow；　crooked　lanes；
with　here　and　there　a　grain　of　dust。　　Here；　as　in　Hamilton；　the　dwellings
had　Venetian　blinds　of　a　very　sensible　pattern。　　They　were　not　double
shutters；　hinged　at　the　sides；　but　a　single　broad　shutter；　hinged　at　the
top；　you　push　it　outward；　from　the　bottom；　and　fasten　it　at　any　angle
required　by　the　sun　or　desired　by　yourself。

All　about　the　island　one　sees　great　white　scars　on　the　hill…slopes。
These　are　dished　spaces　where　the　soil　has　been　scraped　off　and　the　coral
exposed　and　glazed　with　hard　whitewash。　　Some　of　these　are　a　quarter…acre
in　size。　　They　catch　and　carry　the　rainfall　to　reservoirs；　for　the　wells
are　few　and　poor；　and　there　are　no　natural　springs　and　no　brooks。

They　say　that　the　Bermuda　climate　is　mild　and　equable；　with　never　any
snow　or　ice；　and　that　one　may　be　very　comfortable　in　spring　clothing　the
year　round；　there。　　We　had　delightful　and　decided　summer　weather　in　May；
with　a　flaming　sun　that　permitted　the　thinnest　of　raiment；　and　yet　there
was　a　constant　breeze；　consequently　we　were　never　discomforted　by　heat。
At　four　or　five　in　the　afternoon　the　mercury　began　to　go　down；　and　then
it　became　necessary　to　change　to　thick　garments。　　I　went　to　St。　George's
in　the　morning　clothed　in　the　thinnest　of　linen；　and　reached　home　at　five
in　the　afternoon　with　two　overcoats　on。　　The　nights　are　said　to　be　always
cool　and　bracing。　　We　had　mosquito…nets；　and　the　Reverend　said　the
mosquitoes　persecuted　him　a　good　deal。　　I　often　heard　him　slapping　and
banging　at　these　imaginary　creatures　with　as　much　zeal　as　if　they　had
been　real。　　There　are　no　mosquitoes　in　the　Bermudas　in　May。

The　poet　Thomas　Moore　spent　several　months　in　Bermuda　more　than　seventy
years　ago。　　He　was　sent　out　to　be　registrar　of　the　admiralty。　　I　am　not
quite　clear　as　to　the　function　of　a　registrar　of　the　admiralty　of
Bermuda；　but　I　think　it　is　his　duty　to　keep　a　record　of　all　the　admirals
born　there。　　I　will　inquire　into　this。　　There　was　not　much　doing　in
admirals；　and　Moore　got　tired　and　went　away。　　A　reverently　preserved
souvenir　of　him　is　still　one　of　the　treasures　of　the　islands：　I　gathered
the　idea；　vaguely；　that　it　was　a　jug；　but　was　persistently　thwarted　in
the　twenty…two　efforts　I　made　to　visit　it。　　However；　it　was　no　matter；
for　I　found　out　afterward　that　it　was　only　a　chair。

There　are　several　〃sights〃　in　the　Bermudas；　of　course；　but　they　are
easily　avoided。　　This　is　a　great　advantageone　cannot　have　it　in　Europe。
Bermuda　is　the　right　country　for　a　jaded　man　to　〃loaf　〃　in。　　There　are　no
harassments；　the　deep　peace　and　quiet　of　the　country　sink　into　one's　body
and　bones　and　give　his　conscience　a　rest；　and　chloroform　the　legion　of
invisible　small　devils　that　are　always　trying　to　whitewash　his　hair。
A　good　many　Americans　go　there　about　the　first　of　March　and　remain　until
the　early　spring　weeks　have　finished　their　villainies　at　home。

The　Bermudians　are　hoping　soon　to　have　telegraphic　communication　with　the
world。　　But　even　after　they　shall　have　acquired　this　curse　it　will　still
be　a　good　country　to　go　to　for　a　vacation；　for　there　are　charming　little
islets　scattered　about　the　inclosed　sea　where　one　could　live　secure　from
interruption。　　The　telegraph…boy　would　have　to　come　in　a　boat；　and　one
could　easily　kill　him　while　he　was　making　his　landing。

We　had　spent　four　days　in　Bermudathree　bright　ones　out　of　doors　and　one
rainy　one　in　the　house；　we　being　disappointed　about　getting　a　yacht　for　a
sail；　and　now　our　furlough　was　ended；　and　we　entered　into　the　ship　again
and　sailed　homeward。

We　made　the　run　home　to　New　York　quarantine　in　three　days　and　five　hours；
and　could　have　gone　right　along　up　to　the　city　if　we　had　had　a　health
permit。　　But　health　permits　are　not　granted　after　seven　in　the　evening；
partly　because　a　ship　cannot　be　inspected　and　overhauled　with　exhaustive；
thoroughness　except　in　daylight；　and　partly　because　health…officers　are
liable　to　catch　cold　if　they　expose　themselves　to　the　night　air。　　Still；
you　can　buy　a　permit　after　hours　for　five　dollars　extra；　and　the　officer
will　do　the　inspecting　next　week。　　Our　ship　and　passengers　lay　under
expense　and　in　humiliating　captivity　all　night；　under　the　very　nose　of
the　little　official　reptile　who　is　supposed　to　protect　New　York　from
pestilence　by　his　vigilant　〃inspections。〃　　This　imposing　rigor　gave
everybody　a　solemn　and　awful　idea　of　the　beneficent　watchfulness　of　our
government；　and　there　were　some　who　wondered　if　anything　finer　could　be
found　in　other　countries。

In　the　morning　we　were　all　a…tiptoe　to　witness　the　intricate　ceremony　of
inspecting　the　ship。　　But　it　was　a　disappointing　thing。　　The　health…
officer's　tug　ranged　alongside　for　a　moment；　our　purser　handed　the　lawful
three…dollar　permit　fee　to　the　health…officer's　bootblack；　who　passed　us
a　folded　paper　in　a　forked　stick；　and　away　we　went。　　The　entire
〃inspection〃　did　not　occupy　thirteen　seconds。

The　health…officer's　place　is　worth　a　hundred　thousand　dollars　a　year　to
him。　　His　system　of　inspection　is　perfect；　and　therefore　cannot　be