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fallen into the hands of Mr。 Brough; and that he should lose the income he 

made from the lawsuits with her tenants and from the management of her 

landed property; he determined to rescue her from that villain Brough; and 

came to town for the purpose。           He also;〃 added Mr。 Wapshot; 〃vented his 

malignant slander against me; but Heaven was pleased to frustrate his base 

schemes。      In   the   proceedings   consequent   on   Brough's   bankruptcy;   Mr。 

Smithers   could   not   appear;   for   his   own   share   in   the   transactions   of   the 

Company would have been most certainly shown up。                    During his absence 

from   London;   I   became   the   husbandthe   happy   husbandof   your   aunt。 

But though; my dear sir; I have been the means of bringing her to grace; I 

cannot   disguise   from   you   that   Mrs。  W。   has   faults   which   all   my   pastoral 

care has not enabled me to eradicate。           She is close of her money; sirvery 

close;   nor   can   I   make   that   charitable   use   of   her   property   which;   as   a 

clergyman; I ought to do; for she has tied up every shilling of it; and only 

allows me half…a…crown a week for pocket…money。                   In temper; too; she is 

very violent。      During the first years of our union; I strove with her; yea; I 

chastised her; but her perseverance; I must confess; got the better of me。 

I   make no more   remonstrances; but am  as a lamb in   her hands; and she 

leads me whithersoever she pleases。〃 

     Mr。 Wapshot concluded his tale by borrowing half…a…crown from me (it 

was   at   the   Somerset   Coffee…house   in   the   Strand;   where   he   came;   in   the 

year 1832; to wait upon me); and I saw him go from thence into the gin… 

shop   opposite;   and   come   out   of   the   gin…shop   half…an…   hour   afterwards; 



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                              THE GREAT HOGGARTY DIAMOND 



reeling across the streets; and perfectly intoxicated。 

     He    died    next   year:    when      his   widow;     who    called   herself    Mrs。 

Hoggarty…Grimes…Wapshot; of Castle Hoggarty; said that over the grave of 

her saint all earthly resentments were forgotten; and proposed to come and 

live   with   us;   paying   us;   of   course;   a   handsome   remuneration。     But   this 

offer my wife and I respectfully declined; and once more she altered her 

will; which once more   she had made in our favour; called us   ungrateful 

wretches   and   pampered   menials;   and   left   all   her   property   to   the   Irish 

Hoggarties。       But seeing my wife one day in a carriage with Lady Tiptoff; 

and hearing that we had been at the great ball at Tiptoff Castle; and that I 

had grown to be a rich man; she changed her mind again; sent for me on 

her death…bed; and left me the farms of Slopperton and Squashtail; with all 

her savings for fifteen years。          Peace be to her soul! for certainly she left 

me a very pretty property。 

     Though      I  am    no   literary   man    myself;    my    cousin    Michael     (who 

generally; when he is short of coin; comes down and passes a few months 

with us) says that my Memoirs may be of some use to the public (meaning; 

I   suspect;   to   himself);   and   if   so;   I   am   glad   to   serve   him   and   them;   and 

hereby take farewell:         bidding all gents who peruse this; to be cautious of 

their   money;   if   they   have   it;   to   be   still   more   cautious   of   their   friends' 

money; to remember that great profits imply great risks; and that the great 

shrewd capitalists of this country would not be content with four per cent。 

for   their   money;   if   they   could   securely   get   more:    above   all;   I   entreat 

them   never   to   embark   in   any   speculation;   of   which   the   conduct   is   not 

perfectly clear to them; and of which the agents are not perfectly open and 

loyal。 



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