father and son-第13部分

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hing　else。　This　had　been　their　unceasing　recreation；　and　no　third　person　could　possibly　follow　the　curious　path　which　they　had　hewn　for　themselves　through　this　jungle　of　symbols。　But；　more　and　more；　my　Father　persuaded　himself　that　I；　too；　was　initiated；；　and　by　degrees　I　was　made　to　share　in　all　his　speculations　and　interpretations。

Hand　in　hand　we　investigated　the　number　of　the　Beast；　which　number　is　six　hundred　three　score　and　six。　Hand　in　hand　we　inspected　the　nations；　to　see　whether　they　had　the　mark　of　Babylon　in　their　foreheads。　Hand　in　hand　we　watched　the　spirits　of　devils　gathering　the　kings　of　the　earth　into　the　place　which　is　called　in　the　Hebrew　tongue　Armageddon。　Our　unity　in　these　excursions　was　so　delightful；　that　my　Father　was　lulled　in　any　suspicion　he　might　have　formed　that　I　did　not　quite　understand　what　it　was　all　about。　Nor　could　he　have　desired　a　pupil　more　docile　or　more　ardent　than　I　was　in　my　flaming　denunciations　of　the　Papacy。

If　there　was　one　institution　more　than　another　which；　at　this　early　stage　of　my　history；　I　loathed　and　feared；　it　was　what　we　invariably　spoke　of　as　'the　so…called　Church　of　Rome'。　In　later　years；　I　have　met　with　stout　Protestants；　gallant　'Down…with…the…　Pope'　men　from　County　Antrim；　and　ladies　who　see　the　hand　of　the　Jesuits　in　every　public　and　private　misfortune。　It　is　the　habit　of　a　loose　and　indifferent　age　to　consider　this　dwindling　body　of　enthusiasts　with　suspicion；　and　to　regard　their　attitude　towards　Rome　as　illiberal。　But　my　own　feeling　is　that　they　are　all　too　mild；　that　their　denunciations　err　on　the　side　of　the　anodyne。　I　have　no　longer　the　slightest　wish　myself　to　denounce　the　Roman　communion；　but；　if　it　is　to　be　done；　I　have　an　idea　that　the　latter…day　Protestants　do　not　know　how　to　do　it。　In　Lord　Chesterfield's　phrase；　these　anti…Pope　men　'don't　understand　their　own　silly　business'。　They　make　concessions　and　allowances；　they　put　on　gloves　to　touch　the　accursed　thing。

Not　thus　did　we　approach　the　Scarlet　Woman　in　the　'fifties。　We　palliated　nothing；　we　believed　in　no　good　intentions；　we　used　（I　myself　used；　in　my　tender　innocency）　language　of　the　seventeenth　century　such　as　is　now　no　longer　introduced　into　any　species　of　controversy。　As　a　little　boy；　when　I　thought；　with　intense　vagueness；　of　the　Pope；　I　used　to　shut　my　eyes　tight　and　clench　my　fists。　We　welcomed　any　social　disorder　in　any　part　of　Italy；　as　likely　to　be　annoying　to　the　Papacy。　If　there　was　a　custom…　house　officer　stabbed　in　a　fracas　at　Sassari；　we　gave　loud　thanks　that　liberty　and　light　were　breaking　in　upon　Sardinia。　If　there　was　an　unsuccessful　attempt　to　murder　the　Grand　Duke；　we　lifted　up　our　voices　to　celebrate　the　faith　and　sufferings　of　the　dear　persecuted　Tuscans；　and　the　record　of　some　apocryphal　monstrosity　in　Naples　would　only　reveal　to　us　a　glorious　opening　for　Gospel　energy。　My　Father　celebrated　the　announcement　in　the　newspapers　of　a　considerable　emigration　from　the　Papal　Dominions　by　rejoicing　at　'this　outcrowding　of　many；　throughout　the　harlot's　domain；　from　her　sins　and　her　plagues'。

No；　the　Protestant　League　may　consider　itself　to　be　an　earnest　and　active　body；　but　I　can　never　look　upon　its　efforts　as　anything　but　lukewarm；　standing；　as　I　do；　with　the　light　of　other　days　around　me。　As　a　child；　whatever　I　might　question；　I　never　doubted　the　turpitude　of　Rome。　I　do　not　think　I　had　formed　any　idea　whatever　of　the　character　or　pretensions　or　practices　of　the　Catholic　Church；　or　indeed　of　what　it　consisted；　or　its　nature；　but　I　regarded　it　with　a　vague　terror　as　a　wild　beast；　the　only　good　point　about　it　being　that　it　was　very　old　and　was　soon　to　die。　When　I　turned　to　Jukes　or　Newton　for　further　detail；　I　could　not　understand　what　they　said。　Perhaps；　on　the　whole；　there　was　no　disadvantage　in　that。

It　is　possible　that　someone　may　have　observed　to　my　Father　that　the　conditions　of　our　life　were　unfavourable　to　our　health；　although　I　hardly　think　that　he　would　have　encouraged　any　such　advice。　As　I　look　back　upon　this　far…away　time；　I　am　surprised　at　the　absence　in　it　of　any　figures　but　our　own。　He　and　I　together；　now　in　the　study　among　the　sea…anemones　and　starfishes；　now　on　the　canal…bridge；　looking　down　at　the　ducks；　now　at　our　hard　little　meals；　served　up　as　those　of　a　dreamy　widower　are　likely　to　be　when　one　maid…of…all…work　provides　them；　now　under　the　lamp　at　the　maps　we　both　loved　so　much；　this　is　what　I　see　no　third　presence　is　ever　with　us。　Whether　it　occurred　to　himself　that　such　a　solitude　a　deux　was　excellent；　in　the　long　run；　for　neither　of　us；　or　whether　any　chance　visitor　or　one　of　the　'Saints'；　who　used　to　see　me　at　the　Room　every　Sunday　morning；　suggested　that　a　female　influence　might　put　a　little　rose…colour　into　my　pasty　cheeks；　I　know　not。　All　I　am　sure　of　is　that　one　day；　towards　the　close　of　the　summer；　as　I　was　gazing　into　the　street；　I　saw　a　four…wheeled　cab　stop　outside　our　door；　and　deposit；　with　several　packages；　a　strange　lady；　who　was　shown　up　into　my　Father's　study　and　was　presently　brought　down　and　introduced　to　me。

Miss　Marks；　as　I　shall　take　the　liberty　of　calling　this　person；　was　so　long　a　part　of　my　life　that　I　must　pause　to　describe　her。　She　was　tall；　rather　gaunt；　with　high　cheek…bones；　her　teeth　were　prominent　and　very　white；　her　eyes　were　china…blue；　and　were　always　absolutely　fixed；　wide　open；　on　the　person　she　spoke　to；　her　nose　was　inclined　to　be　red　at　the　tip。　She　had　a　kind；　hearty；　sharp　mode　of　talking；　but　did　not　exercise　it　much；　being　on　the　whole　taciturn。　She　was　bustling　and　nervous；　not　particularly　refined；　not　quite；　I　imagine；　what　is　called　'a　lady'。　I　supposed　her；　if　I　thought　of　the　matter　at　all；　to　be　very　old；　but　perhaps　she　may　have　been；　when　we　knew　her　first；　some　forty…five　summers。　Miss　Marks　was　an　orphan；　depending　upon　her　work　for　her　living；　she　would　not；　in　these　days　of　examinations；　have　comas　up　to　the　necessary　educational　standards；　but　she　had　enjoyed　experience　in　teaching；　and　was　prepared　to　be　a　conscientious　and　careful　governess；　up　to　her　lights。　I　was　now　informed　by　my　Father　that　it　was　in　this　capacity　that　she　would　in　future　take　her　place　in　our　household。　I　was　not　informed；　what　I　gradually　learned　by　observation；　that　she　would　also　act　in　it　as　housekeeper。

Miss　Marks　was　a　somewhat　grotesque　personage；　and　might　easily　be　painted　as　a　kind　of　eccentric　Dickens　character；　a　mixture　of　Mrs。　Pipchin　and　Miss　Sally　Brass。　I　will　confess　that　when；　in　years　to　come；　I　read　'Dombey　and　Son'；　certain　features　of　Mrs。　Pipchin　did　irresistibly　remind　me　of　my　excellent　past　governess。　I　can　imagine　Miss　Marks　saying；　but　with　a　facetious　intent；　that　children　who　sniffed　would　not　go　to　heaven。　But　I　was　instantly　ashamed　of　the　parallel；　because　my　gaunt　old　friend　was　a　thoroughly　good　and　honest　woman；　not　intelligent　and　not　graceful；　but　desirous　in　every　way　to　do　her　duty。　Her　duty　to　me　she　certainly　did；　and　I　am　afraid　I　hardly　rewarded　her　with　the　devotion　she　deserved。　From　the　first；　I　was　indifferent　to　her　wishes；　and；　as　much　as　was　convenient；　I　ignored　her　existence。　She　held　no　power　over　my　attention；　and　if　I　accepted　her　guidance　along　the　path　of　instruction；　it　was　because；　odd　as　it　may　sound；　I　really　loved　knowledge。　I　accepted　her　company　without　objection；　and　though　there　were　occasional　outbreaks　of　tantrums　on　both　sides；　we　got　on　very　well　together　for　several　years。　I　did　not；　however；　at　any　time　surrender　my　inward　will　to　the　wishes　of　Miss　Marks。

In　the　circle　of　our　life　the　religious　element　took　so　preponderating　a　place；　that　it　is　impossible　to　avoid　mentioning；　what　might　otherwise　seem　unimportant；　the　theological　views　of　Miss　Marks。　How　my　Father　had　discovered　her；　or　from　what　field　of　educational　enterprise　he　plucked　her　in　her　prime；　I　never　knew；　but　she　used　to　mention　that　my　Father's　ministrations　had　'opened　her　eyes'；　from　which　'scales'　had　fallen。　She　had　accepted；　on　their　presentation　to　her；　the　entire　gamut　of　his　principles。　Miss　Marks　was　accustomed；　while　putting　me　to　bed；　to　dwell　darkly　on　the　incidents　of　her　past；　which　had；　I　fear；　been　an　afflicted　one。　I　believe　I　do　her　rather　limited　intelligence　no　injury　when　I　say　that　it　was　prepared　to　swallow；　at　one　mouthful；　whatever　my　Father　presented　to　it；　so　delighted　was　its　way…worn　possessor　to　find　herself　in　a　comfortable；　or；　at　least；　an　independent　position。　She　soon　bowed；　if　there　was　indeed　any　resistance　from　the　first；　very　contentedly　in　the　House　of　Rimmon；　learning　to　repeat；　with　marked　fluency；　the　customary　formulas　and　shibboleths。　On　my　own　religious　development　she　had　no　great　influence。　Any　such　guttering　theological　rushlight　as　Miss　Marks　might　dutifully　exhibit　faded　for　me　in　the　blaze　of　my　Father's　glaring　beacon…lamp　of　faith。

Hardly　was　Miss　Marks　settled　in　the　family；　than　my　Father　left　us　on　an　expedition　about　which　my　curiosity　was　exercised；　but　not　until　later；　satisfied。　He　had　gone；　as　we　afterwards　found；　to　South　Devon；　to　a　point　on　the　coast　which　he　had　known　of　old。　Here　he　had　hired　a　horse；　and　had　ridden　about　until　he　saw　a　spot　he　liked；　where　a　villa　was　being　built　on　speculation。　Nothing　equals　the　courage　of　these　recluse　men；　my　Father　got　off　his　horse；　and　tied　it　to　the　gate；　and　then　he　went　in　and　bought　the　house　on　a　ninety…nine　years'　lease。　I　need　hardly　say　that　he　had　made　the　matter　a　subject　of　the　most　earnest　prayer；　and　had　entreated　the　Lord　for　guidance。　When　he　felt　attracted　to　this　particular　villa；　he　did　not　doubt　that　he　was　directed　to　it　in　answer　to　his　supplication；　and　he　wasted　no　time　in　further　balancing　or　inquiring。　On　my　eighth　birthday；　with　bag　and　baggage　complete；　we　all　made　the　toilful　journey　down　into　Devonshire；　and　I　was　a　town…child　no　longer。



CHAPTER　V

A　NEW　element　now　entered　into　my　life；　a　fresh　rival　arose　to　compete　for　me　with　my　Father's　dogmatic　theology。　This　rival　was　the　Sea。　When　Wordsworth　was　a　little　child；　the　presence　of　the　mountains　and　the　clouds　lighted　up　his　spirit　with　gleams　that　were　like　the　flashing　of　a　shield。　He　has　described；　in　the　marvellous　pages　of　the　'Prelude'；　the　impact　of　nature　upon　the　infant　soul；　but