the dust-第23部分

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He　burst　out　laughing。　　She　gazed　at　him　in　childlike　surprise。　　〃Why　are　you　laughing　at　me？〃　she　asked。

〃Nothingnothing；〃　he　assured　her。　　He　would　have　found　it　difficult　to　explain　why　he　was　so　intensely　amused　at　hearing　the　grand　Josephine　Burroughs　called　〃a　nice　girl　up　town。〃

〃You　are　in　love　with　her？　　You　are　engaged　to　her？〃　she　inquired；　her　grave　eyes　upon　him　with　an　irresistible　appeal　for　truth　in　them。

〃Tetlow　didn't　lie　to　you；〃　evaded　he。　　〃You　don't　know　it；　but　Tetlow　is　going　to　ask　you　to　marry　him。〃

〃Yes；　I　knew；〃　replied　she　indifferently。

〃How？　　Did　he　tell　you？〃

〃No。　　Just　as　I　knew　you　were　not　going　to　ask　me　to　marry　you。〃

The　mere　phrase；　even　when　stated　as　a　negation；　gave　him　a　sensation　of　ice　suddenly　laid　against　the　heart。

〃It's　quite　easy　to　tell　the　difference　between　the　two　kinds　of　menthose　that　care　for　me　more　than　they　care　for　themselves　and　those　that　care　for　themselves　more　than　they　care　for　me。〃

〃That's　the　way　it　looks　to　youis　it？〃

〃That's　the　way　it　is；〃　said　she。

〃There　are　some　things　you　don't　understand。　　This　is　one　of　them。〃

〃Maybe　I　don't；〃　said　she。　　〃But　I've　my　own　ideaand　I'm　going　to　stick　to　it。〃

This　amused　him。　　〃You　are　a　very　opinionated　and　self…confident　young　lady；〃　said　he。

She　laughed　roguishly。　　〃I'm　taking　up　a　lot　of　your　time。〃

〃Don't　think　of　it。　　You　haven't　asked　when　the　new　deal　is　to　begin。〃

〃Oh；　yesand　I　shall　have　to　tell　Mr。　Tetlow　I'm　not　taking　the　place　he　got　for　me。〃

〃Be　careful　what　you　say　to　him；〃　cautioned　Norman。　　〃You　must　see　it　wouldn't　be　well　to　tell　him　what　you　are　going　to　do。　　There's　no　reason　on　earth　why　he　should　know　your　businessis　there？〃

She　did　not　reply；　she　was　reflecting。

〃You　are　not　thinking　of　marrying　Tetloware　you？〃

〃No；〃　she　said。　　〃I　don't　love　himand　couldn't　learn　to。〃

With　a　sincerely　judicial　air；　now　that　he　felt　secure；　he　said：　　〃Why　not？　　It　would　be　a　good　match。〃

〃I　don't　love　him；〃　she　repeated；　as　if　that　were　a　sufficient　and　complete　answer。　　And　he　was　astonished　to　find　that　he　so　regarded　it；　also；　in　spite　of　every　assault　of　all　that　his　training　had　taught　him　to　regard　as　common　sense　about　human　nature。

〃You　can　simply　say　to　Tetlow　that　you've　decided　to　stay　at　home　and　take　care　of　your　father。　　The　offices　of　the　company　will　be　at　your　house。　　Your　official　duties　practically　amount　to　taking　care　of　your　father。　　So　you'll　be　speaking　the　truth。〃

〃Oh；　it　isn't　exactly　lying；　to　keep　something　from　somebody　who　has　no　right　to　know　it。　　What　you　suggest　isn't　quite　the　truth。　　But　it's　near　enough；　and　I'll　say　it　to　him。〃

His　own　view　of　lying　was　the　same　as　that　she　had　expressed。　　Also；　he　had　no　squeamishness　about　saying　what　was　in　no　sense　true；　if　the　falsehood　were　necessary　to　his　purposes。　　Yet　her　statement　of　her　code；　moral　though　he　thought　it　and　eminently　sensible　as　well；　lowered　her　once　more　in　his　estimation。　　He　was　eager　to　find　reason　or　plausible　excuse　for　believing　her　morally　other　and　less　than　she　seemed　to　be。　Immediately　the　prospects　of　his　ultimate　projects　whatever　they　might　prove　to　betook　on　a　more　hopeful　air。　　〃And　I'd　advise　you　to　have　Tetlow　keep　away　from　you。　　We　don't　want　him　nosing　round。〃

〃No；　indeed；〃　said　she。　　〃He　is　a　nice　man；　but　tiresome。　　And　if　I　encouraged　him　ever　so　little；　he'd　be　sentimental。　　The　most　tiresome　thing　in　the　world　to　a　girl　is　a　man　who　talks　that　sort　of　thing　when　she　doesn't　want　to　hear　itfrom　him。〃

He　laughed。　　〃Meaning　me？〃　he　suggested。

She　nodded；　much　pleased。　　〃Perhaps；〃　she　replied。

〃Don't　worry　about　that；〃　mocked　he。

〃I　shan't　till　I　have　to；〃　she　assured　him。　　〃And　I　don't　think　I'll　have　to。〃


On　the　Monday　morning　following；　Tetlow　came　in　to　see　Norman　as　soon　as　he　arrived。　　〃I　want　a　two　weeks'　leave；〃　he　said。　　〃I'm　going　to　Bermuda　or　down　there　somewhere。〃

〃Why；　what's　the　matter？〃　cried　Norman。　　〃You　do　look　ill；　old　man。〃

〃I　saw　her　last　night；〃　replied　the　chief　clerk；　dropping　an　effort　at　concealing　his　dejection。　　〃She　she　turned　me　down。〃

〃Really？　　You？〃　Norman's　tone　of　sympathetic　surprise　would　not　have　deceived　half　attentive　ears。　But　Tetlow　was　securely　absorbed。　　〃Why；　Billy；　she　can't　hope　to　make　as　good　a　match。〃

〃That's　what　I　told　herwhen　I　saw　the　game　was　going　against　me。　　But　it　was　no　use。〃

Norman　trifled　nervously　with　the　papers　before　him。　　Presently　he　said；　〃Is　it　some　one　else？〃

Tetlow　shook　his　head。

〃How　do　you　know？〃

〃Because　she　said　so；〃　replied　the　head　clerk。

〃Ohif　she　said　so；　that　settles　it；〃　said　Norman　with　raillery。

〃She's　given　up　workthank　God；〃　pursued　Tetlow。　〃She's　getting　more　beautiful　all　the　time　Norman；　if　you　had　seen　her　last　night；　you'd　understand　why　I'm　stark　mad　about　her。〃

Norman's　eyes　were　down。　　His　hands；　the　muscles　of　his　jaw　were　clinched。

〃But；　I　mustn't　think　of　that；〃　Tetlow　went　on。　〃As　I　was　about　to　say；　if　she　were　to　stay　on　in　the　offices　some　onesome　attractive　man　like　you；　only　with　the　heart　of　a　scoundrel〃

Norman　laughed　cynically。

〃Yes；　a　scoundrel！〃　reiterated　the　fat　head…clerk。　〃Some　scoundrel　would　tempt　her　beyond　her　power　to　resist。　　Money　and　clothes　and　luxury　will　do　anything。　We　all　get　to　be　harlots　here　in　New　York。　　Some　of　us　know　it；　and　some　don't。　　But　we　all　look　it　and　act　it。　　And　she'd　go　the　way　of　the　restwith　or　without　marriage。　　It's　just　as　well　she　didn't　marry　me。　　I　know　what'd　have　become　of　her。〃

Norman　nodded。

Tetlow　gave　a　weary　sigh。　　〃Anyhow；　she's　safe　at　home　with　her　father。　　He's　found　a　backer　for　his　experiments。〃

〃That's　good；〃　said　Norman。

〃You　can　spare　me　for　ten　days；〃　Tetlow　went　on。　　〃I'd　be　of　no　use　if　I　stayed。〃

There　was　a　depth　of　misery　in　his　kind　gray　eyes　that　moved　Norman　to　get　up　and　lay　a　friendly　hand　on　his　shoulder。　　〃It's　the　best　thing；　old　man。　　She　wasn't　for　you。〃

Tetlow　dropped　into　a　chair　and　sobbed。　　〃It　has　killed　me；〃　he　groaned。　　〃I　don't　mean　I'll　commit　suicide　or　die。　　I　mean　I'm　dead　insidedead。〃

〃Oh；　come；　Billywhere's　your　good　sense？〃

〃I　know　what　I'm　talking　about；〃　said　he。　〃Norman；　God　help　the　man　who　meets　the　woman　he　really　wantsGod　help　him　if　she　doesn't　want　him。　　You　don't　understand。　　You'll　never　have　the　experience。　Any　woman　you　wanted　would　be　sure　to　want　you。〃

Norman；　his　hand　still　on　Tetlow's　shoulder；　was　staring　ahead　with　a　terrible　expression　upon　his　strong　features。

〃If　she　could　see　the　inside　of　methe　part　that's　the　real　meI　think　she　would　love　meor　learn　to　love　me。　　But　she　can　only　see　the　outsidethis　homely　face　and　body　of　mine。　　It's　horrible；　Fredto　have　a　mind　and　a　heart　fit　for　love　and　for　being　loved；　and　an　outside　that　repels　it。　　And　how　many　of　us　poor　devils　of　that　sort　there　aremen　and　women　both！〃

Norman　was　at　the　window　now；　his　back　to　the　room；　to　his　friend。　　After　a　while　Tetlow　rose　and　made　a　feeble　effort　to　straighten　himself。　　〃Is　it　all　right　about　the　vacation？〃　he　asked。

〃Certainly；〃　said　Norman；　without　turning。

〃Thank　you；　Fred。　　You're　a　good　friend。〃

〃I'll　see　you　before　you　go；〃　said　Norman；　still　facing　the　window。　　〃You'll　come　back　all　right。〃

Tetlow　did　not　answer。　　When　Norman　turned　he　was　alone。



IX


IN　no　way　was　Norman's　luck　superior　to　most　men's　more　splendidly　than　in　that　his　inborn　tendency　to　arrogant　and　extravagant　desires　was　matched　by　an　inborn　capacity　to　get　the　necessary　money。　　His　luxurious　tastes　were　certainly　not　moderated　by　his　associationsenormously　rich　people　who；　while　they　could　be　stingy　enough　in　some　respects；　at　the　same　time　could　and　did　fling　away　fortunes　in　gratifying　selfish　whimsfor　silly　showy　houses；　for　retinues　of　wasteful　servants；　for　gewgaws　that　accentuated　the　homeliness　of　their　homely　women　and　coarsened　and　vulgarized　their　pretty　womenor　perhaps　for　a　night's　gambling　or　entertaining；　or　for　the　forced　smiles　and　contemptuous　caresses　of　some　belle　of　the　other　world。　　Norman　fortunately　cared　not　at　all　for　the　hugely　expensive　pomp　of　the　life　of　the　rich；　if　he　had；　he　would　have　hopelessly　involved　himself；　as　after　all　he　was　not　a　money…grubber　but　a　lawyer。　　But　when　there　appeared　anything　for　which　he　did　care；　he　was　ready　to　bid　for　it　like　the　richest　of　the　rich。

Therefore　the　investment　of　a　few　thousand　dollars　seemed　a　small　matter　to　him。　　He　had　many　a　time　tossed　away　far　more　for　far　less。　　He　did　not　dole　out　the　sum　he　had　agreed　to　provide。　　He　paid　it　into　the　Jersey　City　bank　to　the　credit　of　the　Chemical　Research　Company　and　informed　its　secretary　and　treasurer　that　she　could　draw　freely　against　it。　　〃If　you　will　read　the　by…laws　of　the　company；〃　said　he；　〃you　will　see　that　you've　the　right　to　spend　exactly　as　you　see　fit。　　When　the　money　runs　low；　let　me　know。〃

〃I'll　be　very　careful；〃　said　Dorothea　Hallowell；　secretary　and　treasurer。

〃That's　precisely　what　we　don't　want；〃　replied　he。　He　glanced　round　the　tiny　parlor　of　the　cottage。　　〃We　want　everything　to　be　run　in　first…class　shape。　　That's　the　only　way　to　get　results。　　First　of　all；　you　must　take　a　proper　housea　good…sized　one；　with　large　groundsroom　for　building　your　father　a　proper　laboratory。〃

Her　dazed　and　dazzled　expression　delighted　him。

〃And　you　must　live　better。　　You　must　keep　at　least　two　servants。〃

〃But　we　can't　afford　it。〃

〃Your　father　has　five　thousand　a　year。　　You　have　fifteen　hundred。　　That　makes　sixty…five　hundred。　　The　rent　of　the　house　and　the　wages　and　keep　of　the　servants　are　a　charge　against　the　corporation。　　So；　you　can　well　afford　to　make　yourselves　comfortable。〃

〃I　haven't　got　used　to　the　idea　as　yet；〃　said　Dorothea。　　〃Yeswe　ARE　better　off　than　we　were。〃

〃And　you　must　live　better。　　I　want　you　to　get　some　clothesand　things　of　that　sort。〃

She　shrank　within　herself　and　sat　quiet；　her　gaze　fixed　upon　her　hands　lying　limp　in　her　lap。

〃There　is　no　reason　why　your　father　shouldn't　be　made　absolutely　comfortable　and　happy。　　That's　the　way　to　get　the　best　results　from　a　man　of　his　sort。〃

She　faded　on　toward　the　self…effacing　blank　he　had　first　known。

〃Think　it　out；　Dorothy；〃　he