the dust-第30部分

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itynot　more　than　was　her　right；　in　view　of　her　charms；　but　more　than　she　could　carry　off　well。　　With　many　a　secret　smile　he　had　observed　that　she　thought　herself　perfect　physically。　　This　did　not　repel　him；　it　never　does　repel　a　manwhen　and　so　long　as　he　is　under　the　enchantment　of　the　charms　the　woman　more　or　less　exaggerates。　But；　while　he　had　often　seen　women　with　inordinate　physical　vanity；　so　often　that　he　had　come　to　regarding　it　as　an　essential　part　of　feminine　character；　never　before　had　he　seen　one　so　content　with　her　own　good　opinion　of　herself　that　she　was　indifferent　to　appreciation　from　others。

He　did　not　go　back　to　the　office　after　lunch。　Several　important　matters　were　coming　up；　if　he　got　within　reach　they　might　conspire　to　make　it　impossible　for　him　to　be　with　her　on　time。　　If　his　partners；　his　clients　knew！　　He　the　important　man　of　affairs　kneeling　at　the　feet　of　a　nobody！and　why？　　Chiefly　because　he　was　unable　to　convince　her　that　he　amounted　to　anything。　　His　folly　nauseated　him。　　He　sat　in　a　corner　in　the　dining　room　of　the　Lawyers'　Club　and　drank　one　whisky　and　soda　after　another　and　brooded　over　his　follies　and　his　unhappiness；　muttering　monotonously　from　time　to　time：　　〃No　wonder　she　makes　a　fool　of　me。　　I　invite　it；　I　beg　for　it；　damned　idiot　that　I　am！〃　By　three　o'clock　he　had　drunk　enough　liquor　to　have　dispatched　the　average　man　for　several　days。　　It　had　produced　no　effect　upon　him　beyond　possibly　a　slight　aggravation　of　his　moodiness。

It　took　only　twenty　minutes　to　get　from　New　York　to　her　house。　　He　set　out　at　a　few　minutes　after　three；　arrived　at　twenty　minutes　to　four。　　As　experience　of　her　ways　had　taught　him　that　she　was　much　less　friendly　when　he　disobeyed　her　requests；　he　did　not　dare　go　to　the　house；　but；　after　looking　at　it　from　a　corner　two　blocks　away；　made　a　detour　that　would　use　up　some　of　the　time　he　had　to　waste。　　And　as　he　wandered　he　indulged　in　his　usual　alternations　between　self…derision　and　passion。　　He　appeared　at　the　house　at　five　minutes　to　four。　　Patrick；　who　with　Molly　his　wife　looked　after　the　domestic　affairs；　was　at　the　front　gate　gazing　down　the　street　in　the　direction　from　which　he　always　came。　At　sight　of　him　Pat　came　running。　　Norman　quickened　his　pace；　and　every　part　of　his　nervous　system　was　in　turmoil。

〃Mr。　Hallowellhe'sDEAD；〃　gasped　Pat。

〃Dead？〃　echoed　Norman。

〃Three　quarters　of　an　hour　ago；　sir。　　He　came　from　the　lobatry；　walked　in　the　sitting　room　where　Miss　Dorothy　was　oiling　the　furniture　and　I　was　oiling　the　floor。　　And　he　sets　downand　he　looks　at　heras　cool　and　calm　as　could　beand　he　says；　‘Dorothy；　my　child；　I'm　dying。'　　And　she　stands　up　straight　and　looks　at　him　curious　likejust　curious　like。　　And　he　says；　‘Dorothy；　good…by。'　　And　he　shivers；　and　I　jumps　up　just　in　time　to　catch　him　from　rolling　to　the　floor。　　He　was　dead　thenso　the　doctor　says。〃

〃Dead！〃　repeated　Norman；　looking　round　vaguely。

He　went　on　to　the　house；　Pat　walking　beside　him　and　chattering　on　and　ona　stream　of　words　Norman　did　not　hear。　　As　he　entered　the　open　front　door　Dorothy　came　down　the　stairs。　　He　had　thought　he　knew　how　white　her　skin　was。　　But　he　did　not　know　until　then。　　And　from　that　ghostly　pallor　looked　the　eyes　of　grief　beyond　tears。　　He　advanced　toward　her。　　But　she　seemed　to　be　wrapped　in　an　atmosphere　of　aloofness。　He　felt　himself　a　stranger　and　an　alien。　　After　a　brief　silence　she　said：　　〃I　don't　realize　it。　　I've　been　upstairs　where　Pat　carried　himbut　I　don't　realize　it。　　It　simply　can't　be。〃

〃Do　you　know　what　he　wished　to　say　to　me？〃　he　asked。

〃No。　　I　guess　he　felt　this　coming。　　Probably　it　came　quicker　than　he　expected。　　Now　I　can　see　that　he　hasn't　been　well　for　several　days。　　But　he　would　never　let　anything　about　illness　be　said。　　He　thought　talking　of　those　things　made　them　worse。〃

〃You　have　relativessomebody　you　wish　me　to　telegraph？〃

She　shook　her　head。　　〃No　one。　　Our　relatives　out　West　are　second　cousins　or　further　away。　　They　care　nothing　about　us。　　No；　I'm　all　alone。〃

The　tears　sprang　to　his　eyes。　　But　there　were　no　tears　in　her　eyes；　no　forlornness　in　her　voice。　　She　was　simply　stating　a　fact。　　He　said：　　〃I'll　look　after　everything。　　Don't　give　it　a　moment's　thought。〃

〃No；　I'll　arrange；〃　replied　she。　　〃It'll　give　me　something　to　dosomething　to　do　for　him。　　You　see；　it's　my　last　chance。〃　　And　she　turned　to　ascend　the　stairs。　　〃Something　to　do；〃　she　repeated　dully。　　〃I　wish　I　hadn't　cleaned　house　this　morning。　　That　would　be　something　more　to　do。〃

This　jarred　on　himthen　brought　the　tears　to　his　eyes　again。　　How　childish　she　was！and　how　desolate！　〃But　you'll　let　me　stay？〃　he　pleaded。　　〃You'll　need　me。　　At　any　rate；　I　want　to　feel　that　you　do。〃

〃I'd　rather　you　didn't　stay；〃　she　said；　in　the　same　calm；　remote　way。　　〃I'd　rather　be　alone　with　him；　this　last　time。　　I'll　go　up　and　sit　there　until　they　take　him　away。　　And　thenin　a　few　days　I'll　see　what　to　do　I'll　send　for　you。〃

〃I　can't　leave　you　at　such　a　time；〃　he　cried。　　〃You　haven't　realized　yet。　　When　you　do　you　will　need　some　one。〃

〃You　don't　understand；〃　she　interrupted。　　〃He　and　I　understood　each　other　in　some　ways。　　I　know　he'd　not　wantanyone　round。〃

At　her　slight　hesitation　before　〃anyone〃　he　winced。

〃I　must　be　alone　with　him；〃　she　went　on。　　〃Thank　you；　but　I　want　to　go　now。〃

〃Not　just　yet；〃　he　begged。　　Then；　seeing　the　shadow　of　annoyance　on　her　beautiful　white　face；　he　rose　and　said：　　〃I'm　going。　　I　only　want　to　help　you。〃　He　extended　his　hand　impulsively；　drew　it　back　before　she　had　the　chance　to　refuse　it。　　For　he　felt　that　she　would　refuse　it。　　He　said；　〃You　know　you　can　rely　on　me。〃

〃But　I　don't　need　anybody；〃　replied　she。　　〃Good…by。〃

〃If　I　can　do　anything〃

〃Pat　will　telephone。〃　　She　was　already　halfway　upstairs。

He　found　Pat　in　the　front　yard；　and　arranged　with　him　to　get　news　and　to　send　messages　by　way　of　the　drug　store　at　the　corner；　so　that　she　would　know　nothing　about　it。　　He　went　to　a　florist's　in　New　York　and　sent　masses　of　flowers。　　And　thenthere　was　nothing　more　to　do。　　He　stopped　in　at　the　club　and　drank　and　gambled　until　far　into　the　morning。　　He　fretted　gloomily　about　all　the　next　day；　riding　alone　in　the　Park；　driving　with　his　sister；　drinking　and　gambling　at　the　club　again　and　smiling　cynically　to　himself　at　the　covert　glances　his　acquaintances　exchanged。　　He　was　growing　used　to　those　glances。　　He　cared　not　the　flip　of　a　penny　for　them。

On　the　third　day　came　the　funeral；　and　he　went。　　He　did　not　let　his　cabman　turn　in　behind　the　one　carriage　that　followed　the　hearse。　　At　the　graveyard　he　stood　afar　off；　watching　her　in　her　simple　new　black；　noting　her　calm。　　She　seemed　thinner；　but　he　thought　it　might　be　simply　her　black　dress。　　He　could　see　no　change　in　her　face。　　As　she　was　leaving　the　grave；　she　looked　in　his　direction　but　he　was　uncertain　whether　she　had　seen　him。　　Pat　and　Molly　were　in　the　big；　gloomy　looking　carriage　with　her。

He　ventured　to　go　to　the　front　gate　an　hour　later。　Pat　came　out。　　〃It's　no　use　to　go　in；　Mr。　Norman；〃　he　said。　　〃She'll　not　see　you。　　She's　shut　up　in　her　own　room。〃

〃Hasn't　she　cried　yet；　Pat？〃

〃Not　yet。　　We're　waiting　for　it；　sir。　　We're　afraid　her　mind　will　give　way。　　At　least；　Molly　is。　　I　don't　think　so。　　She's　a　queer　young　ladyas　queer　as　she　looksthough　at　first　you'd　never　think　it。　　She's　always　looking　different。　　I　never　seen　so　many　persons　in　one。〃

〃Can't　Molly　MAKE　her　cry？by　talking　about　him？〃

〃She's　tried；　sir。　　It　wasn't　no　use。　　Why；　Miss　Dorothy　talks　about　him　just　as　if　he　was　still　here。〃　Pat　wiped　the　sweat　from　his　forehead。　　〃I've　been　in　many　a　house　of　mourning；　but　never　through　such　a　strain　as　this。　　Somehow　I　feel　as　if　I'd　never　before　been　round　where　there　was　anyone　that'd　lost　somebody　they　REALLY　cared　about。　　Weeping　and　moaning　don't　amount　to　much　beside　what　she's　doing。〃

Norman　stayed　round　for　an　hour　or　more；　then　rushed　away　distracted。　　He　drank　like　a　madman　drank　himself　into　a　daze；　and　so　got　a　few　hours　of　a　kind　of　sleep。　　He　was　looking　haggard　and　wild　now；　and　everyone　avoided　him；　though　in　fact　there　was　not　the　least　danger　of　an　outburst　of　temper。　　His　sisterJosephinethe　officeseveral　clients　telephoned　for　him。　　To　all　he　sent　the　same　refusalthat　he　was　too　ill　to　see　anyone。　　Not　until　the　third　day　after　the　funeral　did　Dorothy　telephone　for　him。

He　took　an　ice…cold　bath；　got　himself　together　as　well　as　he　could；　and　reached　the　house　in　Jersey　City　about　half　past　three　in　the　afternoon。　　She　came　gliding　into　the　room　like　a　ghost；　trailing　a　black　negligee　that　made　the　whiteness　of　her　skin　startling。　　Her　eye…　lids　were　heavy　and　dark；　but　unreddened。　　She　gazed　at　him　with　calm；　clear　melancholy；　and　his　heart　throbbed　and　ached　for　her。　　She　seated　herself；　clasped　her　hands　loosely　in　her　lap；　and　said：

〃I've　sent　for　you　so　that　I　could　settle　things　up。〃

〃Your　father's　affairs？　　Can't　I　do　it　better？〃

〃He　had　arranged　everything。　　There　are　only　the　papershis　notesand　he　wrote　out　the　addresses　of　the　men　they　were　to　be　sent　to。　　No；　I　mean　settle　things　up　with　you。〃

〃You　mustn't　bother　about　that；〃　said　he。　〃Besides；　there's　nothing　to　settle。〃

〃I　shan't　pretend　I'm　going　to　try　to　pay　you　back；〃　she　went　on；　as　if　he　had　not　spoken。　　〃I　never　could　do　it。　　But　you　will　get　part　at　least　by　selling　this　furniture　and　the　things　at　the　laboratory。〃

〃Dorothyplease；〃　he　implored。　　〃Don't　you　understand　you're　to　stay　on　here；　just　the　same？　　What　sort　of　man　do　you　think　I　am？　　I　did　this　for　you；　and　you　know　it。〃

〃But　I　did　it　for　my　father；〃　replied　she；　〃and　he's　gone。〃　　She　was　resting　her　melancholy　gaze　upon　him。　　〃I　couldn't　take　anything　from　you。　　You　didn't　think　I　was　that　kind？〃

He　was　silent。

〃I　cared　nothing　about　the　scandalwhat　people　saidso　long　as　I　was　doing　it　for　him。　。　。　。　　I'd　have　done　ANYTHING　for　him。　　Sometimes　I　thought　you　were　going　to　compel　me　to　do　things　I'd　have　hated　to　do。　I　hope　I　wronged　you；　but　I　feared　you　meant　that。〃　She　sat　thinking　several　minutes；　sighed　wearily。　　〃It's　all　over　now。　　It　doesn't　matter。　　I　needn't　bother　about　it　any　more。〃

〃Dorothy；　let's　not　talk　of　these　things　now；〃　said　Norman。　　〃There's　no　hurry。　　I　want　you