the life of charlotte bronte-1-第26部分

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〃But　a　change　has　taken　place　now；　sir：　　and　I　am　arrived　at　an　age　wherein　I　must　do　something　for　myself：　　the　powers　I　possess　must　be　exercised　to　a　definite　end；　and　as　I　don't　know　them　myself　I　must　ask　of　others　what　they　are　worth。　　Yet　there　is　not　one　here　to　tell　me；　and　still；　if　they　are　worthless；　time　will　henceforth　be　too　precious　to　be　wasted　on　them。

〃Do　pardon　me；　sir；　that　I　have　ventured　to　come　before　one　whose　works　I　have　most　loved　in　our　literature；　and　who　most　has　been　with　me　a　divinity　of　the　mind；　laying　before　him　one　of　my　writings；　and　asking　of　him　a　judgment　of　its　contents。　　I　must　come　before　some　one　from　whose　sentence　there　is　no　appeal；　and　such　a　one　is　he　who　has　developed　the　theory　of　poetry　as　well　as　its　practice；　and　both　in　such　a　way　as　to　claim　a　place　in　the　memory　of　a　thousand　years　to　come。

〃My　aim；　sir；　is　to　push　out　into　the　open　world；　and　for　this　I　trust　not　poetry　alonethat　might　launch　the　vessel；　but　could　not　bear　her　on；　sensible　and　scientific　prose；　bold　and　vigorous　efforts　in　my　walk　in　life；　would　give　a　farther　title　to　the　notice　of　the　world；　and　then　again　poetry　ought　to　brighten　and　crown　that　name　with　glory；　but　nothing　of　all　this　can　be　ever　begun　without　means；　and　as　I　don't　possess　these；　I　must　in　every　shape　strive　to　gain　them。　　Surely；　in　this　day；　when　there　is　not　a　WRITING　poet　worth　a　sixpence；　the　field　must　be　open；　if　a　better　man　can　step　forward。

〃What　I　send　you　is　the　Prefatory　Scene　of　a　much　longer　subject；　in　which　I　have　striven　to　develop　strong　passions　and　weak　principles　struggling　with　a　high　imagination　and　acute　feelings；　till；　as　youth　hardens　towards　age；　evil　deeds　and　short　enjoyments　end　in　mental　misery　and　bodily　ruin。　　Now；　to　send　you　the　whole　of　this　would　be　a　mock　upon　your　patience；　what　you　see；　does　not　even　pretend　to　be　more　than　the　description　of　an　imaginative　child。　　But　read　it；　sir；　and；　as　you　would　hold　a　light　to　one　in　utter　darknessas　you　value　your　own　kindheartednessRETURN　me　an　ANSWER；　if　but　one　word；　telling　me　whether　I　should　write　on；　or　write　no　more。　　Forgive　undue　warmth；　because　my　feelings　in　this　matter　cannot　be　cool；　and　believe　me；　sir；　with　deep　respect；

〃Your　really　humble　servant；　〃P。　B。　Bronte〃


The　poetry　enclosed　seems　to　me　by　no　means　equal　to　parts　of　the　letter；　but；　as　every　one　likes　to　judge　for　himself；　I　copy　the　six　opening　stanzasabout　a　third　of　the　whole；　and　certainly　not　the　worst。


So　where　he　reigns　in　glory　bright；　Above　those　starry　skies　of　night；　Amid　his　Paradise　of　light　Oh；　why　may　I　not　be？

Oft　when　awake　on　Christmas　morn；　In　sleepless　twilight　laid　forlorn；　Strange　thoughts　have　o'er　my　mind　been　borne；　How　he　has　died　for　me。

And　oft　within　my　chamber　lying；　Have　I　awaked　myself　with　crying　From　dreams；　where　I　beheld　Him　dying　Upon　the　accursed　Tree。

And　often　has　my　mother　said；　While　on　her　lap　I　laid　my　head；　She　feared　for　time　I　was　not　made；　But　for　Eternity。

So　〃I　can　read　my　title　clear；　To　mansions　in　the　skies；　And　let　me　bid　farewell　to　fear；　And　wipe　my　weeping　eyes。〃

I'll　lay　me　down　on　this　marble　stone；　And　set　the　world　aside；　To　see　upon　her　ebon　throne　The　Moon　in　glory　ride。


Soon　after　Charlotte　returned　to　Dewsbury　Moor；　she　was　distressed　by　hearing　that　her　friend　〃E。〃　was　likely　to　leave　the　neighbourhood　for　a　considerable　length　of　time。


〃Feb。　20th。

〃What　shall　I　do　without　you？　　How　long　are　we　likely　to　be　separated？　　Why　are　we　to　be　denied　each　other's　society？　　It　is　an　inscrutable　fatality。　　I　long　to　be　with　you；　because　it　seems　as　if　two　or　three　days；　or　weeks；　spent　in　your　company　would　beyond　measure　strengthen　me　in　the　enjoyment　of　those　feelings　which　I　have　so　lately　begun　to　cherish。　　You　first　pointed　out　to　me　that　way　in　which　I　am　so　feebly　endeavouring　to　travel；　and　now　I　cannot　keep　you　by　my　side；　I　must　proceed　sorrowfully　alone。　　Why　are　we　to　be　divided？　　Surely；　it　must　be　because　we　are　in　danger　of　loving　each　other　too　wellof　losing　sight　of　the　CREATOR　in　idolatry　of　the　CREATURE。　　At　first；　I　could　not　say　'Thy　will　be　done！'　　I　felt　rebellious；　but　I　knew　it　was　wrong　to　feel　so。　　Being　left　a　moment　alone　this　morning；　I　prayed　fervently　to　be　enabled　to　resign　myself　to　EVERY　decree　of　God's　will；　though　it　should　be　dealt　forth　by　a　far　severer　hand　than　the　present　disappointment；　since　then　I　have　felt　calmer　and　humbler；　and　consequently　happier。　　Last　Sunday　I　took　up　my　Bible　in　a　gloomy　state　of　mind：　　I　began　to　reada　feeling　stole　over　me　such　as　I　have　not　known　for　many　long　yearsa　sweet；　placid　sensation；　like　those；　I　remember；　which　used　to　visit　me　when　I　was　a　little　child；　and；　on　Sunday　evenings　in　summer；　stood　by　the　open　window　reading　the　life　of　a　certain　French　nobleman；　who　attained　a　purer　and　higher　degree　of　sanctity　than　has　been　known　since　the　days　of　the　early　martyrs。〃


〃E。's〃　residence　was　equally　within　a　walk　from　Dewsbury　Moor　as　it　had　been　from　Roe　Head；　and　on　Saturday　afternoons　both　〃Mary〃　and　she　used　to　call　upon　Charlotte；　and　often　endeavoured　to　persuade　her　to　return　with　them；　and　be　the　guest　of　one　of　them　till　Monday　morning；　but　this　was　comparatively　seldom。　　Mary　says：…　〃She　visited　us　twice　or　thrice　when　she　was　at　Miss　W…'s。　We　used　to　dispute　about　politics　and　religion。　　She；　a　Tory　and　clergyman's　daughter；　was　always　in　a　minority　of　one　in　our　house　of　violent　Dissent　and　Radicalism。　　She　used　to　hear　over　again；　delivered　WITH　AUTHORITY；　all　the　lectures　I　had　been　used　to　give　her　at　school　on　despotic　aristocracy；　mercenary　priesthood；　&c。　She　had　not　energy　to　defend　herself；　sometimes　she　owned　to　a　LITTLE　truth　in　it；　but　generally　said　nothing。　　Her　feeble　health　gave　her　her　yielding　manner；　for　she　could　never　oppose　any　one　without　gathering　up　all　her　strength　for　the　struggle。　　Thus　she　would　let　me　advise　and　patronise　most　imperiously；　sometimes　picking　out　any　grain　of　sense　there　might　be　in　what　I　said；　but　never　allowing　any　one　materially　to　interfere　with　her　independence　of　thought　and　action。　　Though　her　silence　sometimes　left　one　under　the　impression　that　she　agreed　when　she　did　not；　she　never　gave　a　flattering　opinion；　and　thus　her　words　were　golden；　whether　for　praise　or　blame。〃

〃Mary's〃　father　was　a　man　of　remarkable　intelligence；　but　of　strong；　not　to　say　violent　prejudices；　all　running　in　favour　of　Republicanism　and　Dissent。　　No　other　county　but　Yorkshire　could　have　produced　such　a　man。　　His　brother　had　been　a　DETENU　in　France；　and　had　afterwards　voluntarily　taken　up　his　residence　there。　　Mr。　T。　himself　had　been　much　abroad；　both　on　business　and　to　see　the　great　continental　galleries　of　paintings。　　He　spoke　French　perfectly；　I　have　been　told；　when　need　was；　but　delighted　usually　in　talking　the　broadest　Yorkshire。　　He　bought　splendid　engravings　of　the　pictures　which　he　particularly　admired；　and　his　house　was　full　of　works　of　art　and　of　books；　but　he　rather　liked　to　present　his　rough　side　to　any　stranger　or　new…comer；　he　would　speak　his　broadest；　bring　out　his　opinions　on　Church　and　State　in　their　most　startling　forms；　and；　by　and　by；　if　he　found　his　hearer　could　stand　the　shock；　he　would　involuntarily　show　his　warm　kind　heart；　and　his　true　taste；　and　real　refinement。　　His　family　of　four　sons　and　two　daughters　were　brought　up　on　Republican　principles；　independence　of　thought　and　action　was　encouraged；　no　〃shams〃　tolerated。　　They　are　scattered　far　and　wide：　　Martha；　the　younger　daughter；　sleeps　in　the　Protestant　cemetery　at　Brussels；　Mary　is　in　New　Zealand；　Mr。　T。　is　dead。　　And　so　life　and　death　have　dispersed　the　circle　of　〃violent　Radicals　and　Dissenters〃　into　which；　twenty　years　ago；　the　little；　quiet；　resolute　clergyman's　daughter　was　received；　and　by　whom　she　was　truly　loved　and　honoured。

January　and　February　of　1837　had　passed　away；　and　still　there　was　no　reply　from　Southey。　　Probably　she　had　lost　expectation　and　almost　hope　when　at　length；　in　the　beginning　of　March；　she　received　the　letter　inserted　in　Mr。　C。　C。　Southey's　life　of　his　Father；　vol。　iv。　p。　327。

After　accounting　for　his　delay　in　replying　to　hers　by　the　fact　of　a　long　absence　from　home；　during　which　his　letters　had　accumulated；　whence　〃it　has　lain　unanswered　till　the　last　of　a　numerous　file；　not　from　disrespect　or　indifference　to　its　contents；　but　because　in　truth　it　is　not　an　easy　task　to　answer　it；　nor　a　pleasant　one　to　cast　a　damp　over　the　high　spirits　and　the　generous　desires　of　youth；〃　he　goes　on　to　say：　　〃What　you　are　I　can　only　infer　from　your　letter；　which　appears　to　be　written　in　sincerity；　though　I　may　suspect　that　you　have　used　a　fictitious　signature。　　Be　that　as　it　may；　the　letter　and　the　verses　bear　the　same　stamp；　and　I　can　well　understand　the　state　of　mind　they　indicate。

*　*　*

〃It　is　not　my　advice　that　you　have　asked　as　to　the　direction　of　your　talents；　but　my　opinion　of　them；　and　yet　the　opinion　may　be　worth　little；　and　the　advice　much。　　You　evidently　possess；　and　in　no　inconsiderable　degree；　what　Wordsworth　calls　the　'faculty　of　verse。'　　I　am　not　depreciating　it　when　I　say　that　in　these　times　it　is　not　rare。　　Many　volumes　of　poems　are　now　published　every　year　without　attracting　public　attention；　any　one　of　which　if　it　had　appeared　half　a　century　ago；　would　have　obtained　a　high　reputation　for　its　author。　　Whoever；　therefore；　is　ambitious　of　distinction　in　this　way　ought　to　be　prepared　for　disappointment。

〃But　it　is　not　with　a　view　to　distinction　that　you　should　cultivate　this　talent；　if　you　consult　your　own　happiness。　　I；　who　have　made　literature　my　profession；　and　devoted　my　life　to　it；　and　have　never　for　a　moment　repented　of　the　deliberate　choice；　think　myself；　nevertheless；　bound　in　duty　to　caution　every　young　man　who　applies　as　an　aspirant　to　me　for　encouragement　and　advice；　against　taking　so　perilous　a　course。　　You　will　say　that　a　woman　has　no　need　of　such　a　caution；　there　can　be　no　peril　in　it　for　her。　　In　a　certain　sense　this　is　true；　but　there　is　a　danger　of　which　I　would；　with　all　kindness　and　all　earnestness；　warn　you。　　The　day　dreams　in　which　you　habitually　indulge　are　likely　to　induce　a　distempered　state　of　mind；　and　in　proportion　as　all