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It's a horror to think of。  And so; the villa for me; not the city!

Beggars can scarcely be choosers: but still … ah; the pity; the pity!

Look; two and two go the priests; then the monks with cowls and sandals;

And the penitents dressed in white skirts; a…holding the yellow candles;

One; he carries a flag up straight; and another a cross with handles;

And the Duke's guard brings up the rear; for the better prevention

  of scandals。

Bang…whang…whang; goes the drum; tootle…te…tootle the fife。

Oh; a day in the city…square; there is no such pleasure in life!



Robert Browning '1812…1889'





ALL SAINTS'



In a church which is furnished with mullion and gable;

With altar and reredos; with gargoyle and groin;

The penitents' dresses are sealskin and sable;

The odor of sanctity's eau…de…cologne。



But only could Lucifer; flying from Hades;

Gaze down on this crowd with its paniers and paints;

He would say; as he looked at the lords and the ladies;

〃Oh; where is All Sinners' if this is All Saints'?〃



Edmund Yates '1831…1894'





AN ADDRESS TO THE UNCO GUID; OR THE RIGIDLY RIGHTEOUS



My son; these maxims make a rule;

And lump them aye thegither:

The Rigid Righteous is a fool

The Rigid Wise anither:

The cleanest corn that e'er was dight

May hae some pyles o' caff in;

Sae ne'er a fellow…creature slight

For random fits o' daffin。 

 Solomon … Eccles。 vii。 16。



Oh ye wha are sae guid yoursel';

Sae pious and sae holy; 

Ye've naught to do but mark and tell

Your neebor's fauts and folly: …

Whase life is like a weel…gaun mill;

Supplied wi' store o' water;

The heaped happer's ebbing still;

And still the clap plays clatter。



Hear me; ye venerable core;

As counsel for poor mortals

That frequent pass douce Wisdom's door;

For glaikit Folly's portals! 

I; for their thoughtless; careless sakes;

Would here propone defences;

Their donsie tricks; their black mistakes;

Their failings and mischances。



Ye see your state wi' theirs compared;

And shudder at the niffer;

But cast a moment's fair regard;

What maks the mighty differ?

Discount what scant occasion gave

That purity ye pride in;

And (what's aft mair than a' the lave)

Your better art o' hidin'。



Think; when your castigated pulse

Gies now and then a wallop;

What ragings must his veins convulse;

That still eternal gallop:

Wi' wind and tide fair i' your tail;

Right on ye scud your sea…way; …

But in the teeth o' baith to sail;

It makes an unco lee…way。



See Social Life and Glee sit down;

All joyous and unthinking;

Till; quite transmugrified; they've grown

Debauchery and Drinking:

Oh; would they stay to calculate

The eternal consequences;

Or your more dreaded hell to state;

Damnation of expenses!



Ye high; exalted; virtuous dames;

Tied up in godly laces;

Before ye gie poor Frailty names;

Suppose a change o' cases;

A dear…loved lad; convenience snug;

A treacherous inclination; …

But; let me whisper i' your lug;

Ye're aiblins nae temptation。



Then gently scan your brother man;

Still gentler sister woman;

Though they may gang a kennin' wrang;

To step aside is human:

One point must still be greatly dark;

The moving why they do it;

And just as lamely can ye mark

How far perhaps they rue it。



Who made the heart; 'tis He alone

Decidedly can try us;

He knows each chord; … its various tone;

Each spring; … its various bias:

Then at the balance let's be mute;

We never can adjust it;

What's done we partly may compute;

But know not what's resisted。



Robert Burns '1759…1796'





THE DEACON'S MASTERPIECE; OR THE WONDERFUL 〃ONE…HOSS SHAY〃

A Logical Story



Have you heard of the wonderful one…hoss shay;

That was built in such a logical way

It ran a hundred years to a day;

And then; of a sudden; it … ah; but stay;

I'll tell you what happened without delay;

Scaring the parson into fits;

Frightening people out of their wits; …

Have you ever heard of that; I say?



Seventeen hundred and fifty…five。

Georgius Secundus was then alive; …

Snuffy old drone from the German hive。

That was the year when Lisbon…town

Saw the earth open and gulp her down;

And Braddock's army was done so brown;

Left without a scalp to its crown。

It was on the terrible Earthquake…day

That the Deacon finished the one…hoss shay。



Now in building of chaises; I tell you what;

There is always somewhere a weakest spot; …

In hub; tire; felloe; in spring or thill;

In panel; or crossbar; or floor; or sill;

In screw; bolt; thoroughbrace; … lurking still;

Find it somewhere you must and will; …

Above or below; or within or without; …

And that's the reason; beyond a doubt;

That a chaise breaks down; but doesn't wear out。



But the Deacon swore (as Deacons do;

With an 〃I dew vum;〃 or an 〃I tell yeou;〃)

He would build one shay to beat the taown

'N' the keounty 'n' all the kentry raoun';

It should be so built that it couldn' break daown:

〃Fur;〃 said the Deacon; 〃't's mighty plain

Thut the weakes' place mus' stan' the strain;

'N' the way t' fix it; uz I maintain;

Is only jest

T' make that place uz strong uz the rest。〃



So the Deacon inquired of the village folk

Where he could find the strongest oak;

That couldn't be split nor bent nor broke; …

That was for spokes and floor and sills;

He sent for lancewood to make the thills;

The crossbars were ash; from the straightest trees;

The panels of white…wood; that cuts like cheese;

But lasts like iron for things like these;

The hubs of logs from the 〃Settler's ellum;〃 …

Last of its timber; … they couldn't sell 'em;

Never an axe had seen their chips;

And the wedges flew from between their lips;

Their blunt ends frizzled like celery…tips;

Step and prop…iron; bolt and screw;

Spring; tire; axle; and linchpin too;

Steel of the finest; bright and blue;

Thoroughbrace bison…skin; thick and wide;

Boot; top; dasher; from tough old hide

Found in the pit when the tanner died。

That was the way he 〃put her through。〃

There! said the Deacon; 〃naow she'll dew!〃



Do!  I tell you; I rather guess

She was a wonder; and nothing less!

Colts grew horses; beards turned gray;

Deacon and deaconess dropped away;

Children and grandchildren … where were they?

But there stood the stout old one…hoss shay

As fresh as on Lisbon…earthquake…day!



EIGHTEEN HUNDRED; … it came and found

The Deacon's masterpiece strong and sound。

Eighteen hundred increased by ten;

〃Hahnsum kerridge〃 they called it then。

Eighteen hundred and twenty came; …

Running as usual; much the same。

Thirty and Forty at last arrive;

And then come Fifty; and Fifty…Five。



Little of all we value here

Wakes on the morn of its hundredth year

Without both feeling and looking queer。

In fact; there's nothing that keeps its youth;

So far as I know; but a tree and truth。

(This is a moral that runs at large;

Take it。 … You're welcome。 … No extra charge。)



FIRST OF November; … the Earthquake…day; …

There are traces of age in the one…hoss shay。

A general flavor of mild decay;

But nothing local; as one may say。

There couldn't be; … for the Deacon's art

Had made it so like in every part

That there wasn't a chance for one to start。

For the wheels were just as strong as the thills;

And the floor was just as strong as the sills;

And the panels just as strong as the floor;

And the whipple…tree neither less nor more;

And the back…crossbar as strong as the fore;

And spring and axle and hub encore。

And yet; as a whole; it is past a doubt

In another hour it will be worn out!



First of November; Fifty…five!

This morning the parson takes a drive。

Now; small boys; get out of the way!

Here comes the wonderful one…hoss shay;

Drawn by a rat…railed; ewe…necked bay。

〃Huddup!〃 said the parson。 … Off went they。



The parson was working his Sunday's text;…

Had got to fifthly; and stopped perplexed

At what the … Moses … was coming next。

All at once the horse stood still;

Close by the meet'n'…house on the hill。

First a shiver; and then a thrill;

Then something decidedly like a spill; …

And the parson was sitting upon a rock;

At half past nine by the meet'n'…house clock; …

Just the hour of the Earthquake shock!

What do you think the parson found;

When he got up and stared around?

The poor old chaise in a heap or mound;

As if it had been to the mill and ground!

You see; of course; if you're not a dunce;

How it went to pieces all at once; …

All at once; and nothing first; …

Just as bubbles do when they burst。



End of the wonderful one…hoss shay。

Logic is logic。  That's all I say。



Oliver Wendell Holmes '1809…1894'





BALLADE OF A FRIAR

After Clement Marot



Some ten or twenty times a day;

To bustle to the town with speed;

To dabble in what dirt he may; …

Le Frere Lubin's the man you need!

But any sober life to lead

Upon an exemplary plan;

Requires a Christian indeed; …

Le Frere Lubin is not the man!



Another's wealth on his to lay;

With all the craft of guile and greed;

To leave you bare of pence or pay; …

Le Frere Lubin's the man you need!

But watch him with the closest heed;

And dun him with what force you can; …

He'll not refund; howe'er you plead; …

Le Frere Lubin is not the man …



An honest girl to lead astray;

With subtle saw and promised meed;

Requires no cunning crone and gray; …

Le Frere Lubin's the man you need!

He preaches an ascetic creed;

But; … try him with the water can …

A dog will drink; whate'er his breed; …

Le Frere Lubin is not the man!



ENVOY

In good to fail; in ill succeed;

Le Frere Lubin's the man you need!

In honest works to lead the van;

Le Frere Lubin is not the man!



Andrew Lang '1844…1912'





THE CHAMELEON



Oft has it been my lot to mark

A proud; conceited; talking spark;


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