the expedition of humphry clinker-第26部分

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whether　the　world　was　always　as　contemptible；　as　it　appears　to　me
at　present？　　If　the　morals　of　mankind　have　not　contracted　an
extraordinary　degree　of　depravity；　within　these　thirty　years；
then　must　I　be　infected　with　the　common　vice　of　old　men；
difficilis；　querulus；　laudator　temporis　acti；　or；　which　is　more
probable；　the　impetuous　pursuits　and　avocations　of　youth　have
formerly　hindered　me　from　observing　those　rotten　parts　of　human
nature；　which　now　appear　so　offensively　to　my　observation。

We　have　been　at　court；　and　'change；　and　every　where；　and　every
where　we　find　food　for　spleen；　and　subject　for　ridicule　　My　new
servant；　Humphry　Clinker；　turns　out　a　great　original：　and　Tabby
is　a　changed　creature　　She　has　parted　with　Chowder；　and　does
nothing　but　smile；　like　Malvolio　in　the　play　　I'll　be　hanged　if
she　is　not　acting　a　part　which　is　not　natural　to　her　disposition；
for　some　purpose　which　I　have　not　yet　discovered。

With　respect　to　the　characters　of　mankind；　my　curiosity　is　quite
satisfied：　I　have　done　with　the　science　of　men；　and　must　now
endeavour　to　amuse　myself　with　the　novelty　of　things。　I　am；　at
present；　by　a　violent　effort　of　the　mind；　forced　from　my　natural
bias；　but　this　power　ceasing　to　act；　I　shall　return　to　my
solitude　with　redoubled　velocity。　Every　thing　I　see；　and　hear；
and　feel；　in　this　great　reservoir　of　folly；　knavery；　and
sophistication；　contributes　to　inhance　the　value　of　a　country
life；　in　the　sentiments　of

Yours　always；
MATT。　BRAMBLE
LONDON；　June　2。



To　Mrs　MARY　JONES；　at　Brambleton…hall。

DEAR　MARY　JONES；

Lady　Griskin's　botler；　Mr　Crumb；　having　got　'squire　Barton　to
frank　me　a　kiver；　I　would　not　neglect　to　let　you　know　how　it　is
with　me；　and　the　rest　of　the　family。

I　could　not　rite　by　John　Thomas；　for　because　he　went　away　in　a
huff；　at　a　minutes'　warning。　He　and　Chowder　could　not　agree；　and
so　they　fitt　upon　the　road；　and　Chowder　bitt　his　thumb；　and　he
swore　he　would　do　him　a　mischief；　and　he　spoke　saucy　to　mistress；
whereby　the　squire　turned　him　off　in　gudgeon；　and　by　God's
providence　we　picked　up　another　footman；　called　Umphry　Klinker；　a
good　sole　as　ever　broke　bread；　which　shews　that　a　scalded　cat　may
prove　a　good　mouser；　and　a　hound　be　staunch；　thof　he　has　got
narro　hare　on　his　buttocks；　but　the　proudest　nose　may　be　bro't　to
the　grinestone；　by　sickness　and　misfortunes。

0　Molly！　what　shall　I　say　of　London？　All　the　towns　that　ever　I
beheld　in　my　born…days；　are　no　more　than　Welsh　barrows　and
crumlecks　to　this　wonderful　sitty！　Even　Bath　itself　is　but　a
fillitch；　in　the　naam　of　God　　One　would　think　there's　no　end　of
the　streets；　but　the　land's　end。　Then　there's　such　a　power　of
people；
going　hurry　skurry！　Such　a　racket　of　coxes！　Such　a　noise；　and
haliballoo！　So　many　strange　sites　to　be　seen！　O　gracious！　my　poor
Welsh　brain　has　been　spinning　like　a　top　ever　since　I　came
hither！　And　I　have　seen　the　Park；　and　the　paleass　of　Saint
Gimses；　and　the　king's　and　the　queen's　magisterial　pursing；　and
the　sweet　young　princes；　and　the　hillyfents；　and　pye　bald　ass；
and　all　the　rest　of　the　royal　family。

Last　week　I　went　with　mistress　to　the　Tower；　to　see　the　crowns
and　wild　beastis；　and　there　was　a　monstracious　lion；　with　teeth
half　a　quarter　long；　and　a　gentleman　bid　me　not　go　near　him；　if　I
wasn't　a　maid；　being　as　how　he　would　roar；　and　tear；　and　play　the
dickens　　Now　I　had　no　mind　to　go　near　him；　for　I　cannot　abide
such　dangerous　honeymils；　not　I　　but；　mistress　would　go；　and　the
beast　kept　such　a　roaring　and　bouncing；　that　I　tho't　he　would
have　broke　his　cage　and　devoured　us　all；　and　the　gentleman
tittered　forsooth；　but　I'll　go　to　death　upon　it；　I　will；　that　my
lady　is　as　good　a　firchin；　as　the　child　unborn；　and；　therefore；
either　the　gentleman　told　a　fib；　or　the　lion　oft　to　be　set　in　the
stocks　for　bearing　false　witness　agin　his　neighbour；　for　the
commandment　sayeth；　Thou　shalt　not　bear　false　witness　against　thy
neighbour。

I　was　afterwards　of　a　party　at　Sadler's…wells；　where　I　saw　such
tumbling　and　dancing　upon　ropes　and　wires；　that　I　was　frightened
and　ready　to　go　into　a　fit　　I　tho't　it　was　all　inchantment；　and；
believing　myself　bewitched；　began　for　to　cry　　You　knows　as　how
the　witches　in　Wales　fly　upon　broom…sticks：　but　here　was　flying
without　any　broom…stick；　or　thing　in　the　varsal　world；　and　firing
of　pistols　in　the　air；　and　blowing　of　trumpets；　and　swinging；　and
rolling　of　wheel…barrows　upon　a　wire　（God　bless　us！）　no　thicker
than　a　sewing…thread；　that；　to　be　sure；　they　must　deal　with　the
devil！　　A　fine　gentleman；　with　a　pig's…tail；　and　a　golden　sord　by
his　side；　come　to　comfit　me；　and　offered　for　to　treat　me　with　a
pint　of　wind；　but　I　would　not　stay；　and　so；　in　going　through　the
dark　passage；　he　began　to　shew　his　cloven　futt；　and　went　for　to
be　rude：　my　fellow…sarvant；　Umphry　Klinker；　bid　him　be　sivil；　and
he　gave　the　young　man　a　dowse　in　the　chops；　but；　I　fackins；　Mr
Klinker　wa'n't　long　in　his　debt　　with　a　good　oaken　sapling　he
dusted　his　doublet；　for　all　his　golden　cheese　toaster；　and；
fipping　me　under　his　arm；　carried　me　huom；　I　nose　not　how；　being
I　was　in　such　a　flustration　　But；　thank　God！　I'm　now　vaned　from
all　such　vanities；　for　what　are　all　those　rarities　and　vagaries
to　the　glory　that　shall　be　revealed　hereafter？　O　Molly！　let　not
your　poor　heart　be　puffed　up　with　vanity。

I　had　almost　forgot　to　tell　you；　that　I　have　had　my　hair　cut　and
pippered；　and　singed；　and　bolstered；　and　buckled；　in　the　newest
fashion；　by　a　French　freezer　　Parley　vow　Francey　　Vee　madmansell
　I　now　carries　my　head　higher　than　arrow　private　gentlewoman　of
Vales。　Last　night；　coming　huom　from　the　meeting；　I　was　taken　by
lamp…light　for　an　iminent　poulterer's　daughter；　a　great　beauty　
But　as　I　was　saying；　this　is　all　vanity　and　vexation　of　spirit　
The　pleasures　of　London　are　no　better　than　sower　whey　and　stale
cyder；　when　compared　to　the　joys　of　the　new　Gerusalem。

Dear　Mary　Jones！　An　please　God　when　I　return；　I'll　bring　you　a
new　cap；　with　a　turkey…shell　coom；　and　a　pyehouse　sermon；　that
was　preached　in　the　Tabernacle；　and　I　pray　of　all　love；　you　will
mind　your　vriting　and　your　spilling；　for；　craving　your　pardon；
Molly；　it　made　me　suet　to　disseyffer　your　last　scrabble；　which
was　delivered　by　the　hind　at　Bath　　0；　voman！　voman！　if　thou
had'st　but　the　least　consumption　of　what　pleasure　we　scullers
have；　when　we　can　cunster　the　crabbidst　buck　off　hand；　and　spell
the　ethnitch　vords　without　lucking　at　the　primmer。　As　for　Mr
Klinker；　he　is　qualified　to　be　a　clerk　to　a　parish　　But　I'll　say
no　more　　Remember　me　to　Saul　　poor　sole！　it　goes　to　my　hart　to
think　she　don't　yet　know　her　letters　　But　all　in　God's　good　time
　　It　shall　go　hard；　but　I　will　bring　her　the　A　B　C　in　gingerbread；
and　that；　you　nose；　will　be　learning　to　her　taste。

Mistress　says；　we　are　going　a　long　gurney　to　the　North；　but　go
where　we　will；　I　shall　ever　be；

Dear　Mary　Jones；
Yours　with　true　infection
WIN。　JENKINS
LONDON；　June　3。




To　Sir　WATKIN　PHILLIPS；　of　Jesus　college；　Oxon。

DEAR　WAT；

I　mentioned　in　my　last；　my　uncle's　design　of　going　to　the　duke　of
N's　levee；　which　design　has　been　executed　accordingly。　His
grace　has　been　so　long　accustomed　to　this　kind　of　homage；　that
though　the　place　he　now　fills　does　not　imply　the　tenth　part　of
the　influence；　which　he　exerted　in　his　former　office；　he　has
given　his　friends　to　understand；　that　they　cannot　oblige　him　in
any　thing　more；　than　in　contributing　to　support　the　shadow　of
that　power；　which　he　no　longer　retains　in　substance；　and
therefore　he　has　still　public　days；　on　which　they　appear　at　his
levee。

My　uncle　and　I　went　thither　with　Mr　Barton；　who；　being　one　of　the
duke's　adherents；　undertook　to　be　our　introducer　　The　room　was
pretty　well　filled　with　people；　in　a　great　variety　of　dress；　but
there　was　no　more　than　one　gown　and　cassock；　though　I　was　told
his　grace　had；　while　he　was　minister；　preferred　almost　every
individual　that　now　filled　the　bench　of　bishops　in　the　house　of
lords；　but　in　all　probability；　the　gratitude　of　the　clergy　is
like　their　charity；　which　shuns　the　light　　Mr　Barton　was
immediately　accosted　by　a　person　well　stricken　in　years；　tall；
and　raw…boned；　with　a　hook…nose；　and　an　arch　leer；　that
indicated；　at　least；　as　much　cunning　as　sagacity。　Our　conductor
saluted　him；　by　the　name　of　captain　C；　and　afterwards　informed
us　he　was　a　man　of　shrewd　parts；　whom　the　government　occasionally
employed　in　secret　services。　But　I　have　had　the　history　of　him
more　at　large；　from　another　quarter。　He　had　been；　many　years　ago；
concerned　in　fraudulent　practices；　as　a　merchant；　in　France；　and
being　convicted　of　some　of　them；　was　sent　to　the　gallies；　from
whence　he　was　delivered　by　the　interest　of　the　late　duke　of
Ormond；　to　whom　he　had　recommended　himself　in　letter；　as　his
name…sake　and　relation　　He　was　in　the　sequel；　employed　by　our
ministry　as　a　spy；　and　in　the　war　of　1740；　traversed　all　Spain；
as　well　as　France；　in　the　disguise　of　a　capuchin；　at　the　extreme
hazard　of　his　life；　in　as　much　as　the　court　of　Madrid　had
actually　got　scent　of　him；　and　given　orders　to　apprehend　him　at
St　Sebastian's；　from　whence　he　had　fortunately　retired　but　a　few
hours　before　the　order　arrived。　This　and　other　hair…breadth
'scapes　he　pleaded　so　effectually　as　a　merit　with　the　English
ministry；　that　they　allowed　him　a　comfortable　pension；　which　he
now　enjoys　in　his　old　age　　He　has　still　access　to　all　the
ministers；　and　is　said　to　be　consulted　by　them　on　many　subjects；
as　a　man　of　uncommon　understanding　and　great　experience　　He　is；
in　fact；　a　fellow　of　some　parts；　and　invincible　assurance；　and；
in　his　discourse；　he　assumes　such　an　air　of　self…sufficiency；　as
may　very　well　impose　upon　some　of　the　shallow　politicians；　who
now　labour　at　the　helm　of　administration。　But；　if　he　is　not
belied；　this　is　not　the　only　imposture　of　which　he　is　guilty　
They　say；　he　is　at　bottom　not　only　a　Roman…catholic；　but　really　a
priest；　and　while　he　pretends　to　disclose　to　our　state…pilots　all
the　springs　that　move　the　cabinet　of　Versailles；　he　is　actually
picking　up　intelligence　for　the　service　of　the　French　minister。　Be
that　as　it　may；　captain　C　entered　into　conversation　with　us　in
the　most　famil