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the expedition of humphry clinker-第27部分

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that as it may; captain C entered into conversation with us in
the most familiar manner; and treated the duke's character
without any ceremony  'This wiseacre (said he) is still a…bed;
and; I think; the best thing he can do; is to sleep on till
Christmas; for; when he gets up; he does nothing but expose his
own folly。  Since Grenville was turned out; there has been no
minister in this nation worth the meal that whitened his peri…wig
 They are so ignorant; they scarce know a crab from a
cauliflower; and then they are such dunces; that there's no
making them comprehend the plainest proposition  In the beginning
of the war; this poor half…witted creature told me; in a great
fright; that thirty thousand French had marched from Acadie to
Cape Breton  〃Where did they find transports? (said I)〃
〃Transports (cried he) I tell you they marched by land〃  〃By land
to the island of Cape Breton?〃 〃What! is Cape Breton an island?〃
〃Certainly。〃 〃Ha! are you sure of that?〃 When I pointed it out in
the map; he examined it earnestly with his spectacles; then;
taking me in his arms; 〃My dear C! (cried he) you always bring
us good news  Egad! I'll go directly; and tell the king that Cape
Breton is an island。〃'

He seemed disposed to entertain us with more anecdotes of this
nature; at the expense of his grace; when he was interrupted by
the arrival of the Algerine ambassador; a venerable Turk; with a
long white beard; attended by his dragoman; or interpreter; and
another officer of his household; who had got no stockings to his
legs  Captain C immediately spoke with an air of authority to a
servant in waiting; bidding him go and tell the duke to rise; as
there was a great deal of company come; and; among others; the
ambassador from Algiers。 Then; turning to us; 'This poor Turk
(said he) notwithstanding his grey beard; is a green…horn  He has
been several years resident in London; and still is ignorant of
our
political revolutions。 This visit is intended for the prime
minister of England; but you'll see how this wise duke will
receive it as a mark of attachment to his own person'  Certain it
is; the duke seemed eager to acknowledge the compliment  A door
opened; he suddenly bolted out; with a shaving…cloth under his
chin; his face frothed up to the eyes with soap lather; and
running up to the ambassador; grinned hideous in his face  'My
dear Mahomet! (said he) God love your long beard; I hope the dey
will make you a horsetail at the next promotion; ha; ha; ha! Have
but a moment's patience; and I'll send to you in a twinkling;' 
So saying; he retired into his den; leaving the Turk in some
confusion。 After a short pause; however; he said something to his
interpreter; the meaning of which I had great curiosity to know;
as he turned up his eyes while he spoke; expressing astonishment;
mixed with devotion。 We were gratified by means of the
communicative captain C; who conversed with the dragoman; as an
old acquaintance。 Ibrahim; the ambassador; who had mistaken his
grace for the minister's fool; was no sooner undeceived by the
interpreter; than he exclaimed to this effect 'Holy prophet! I
don't wonder that this nation prospers; seeing it is governed by
the counsel of ideots; a series of men; whom all good mussulmen
revere as the organs of immediate inspiration!' Ibrahim was
favoured with a particular audience of short duration; after
which the duke conducted him to the door; and then returned to
diffuse his gracious looks among the crowd of his worshippers。

As Mr Barton advanced to present me to his grace; it was my
fortune to attract his notice; before I was announced  He
forthwith met me more than half way; and; seizing me by the hand;
'My dear Sir Francis! (cried he) this is so kind  I vow to God! I
am so obliged  Such attention to a poor broken minister。 Well 
Pray when does your excellency set sail?  For God's sake have a
care of your health; and cat stewed prunes in the passage。 Next to
your own precious health; pray; my dear excellency; take care of
the Five Nations  Our good friends the Five Nations。  The
Toryrories; the Maccolmacks; the Out…o'the…ways; the Crickets;
and the Kickshaws  Let 'em have plenty of blankets; and
stinkubus; and wampum; and your excellency won't fail to scour
the kettle; and boil the chain; and bury the tree; and plant the
hatchet  Ha; ha; ha!' When he had uttered this rhapsody; with his
usual precipitation; Mr Barton gave him to understand; that I was
neither Sir Francis; nor St Francis; but simply Mr Melford;
nephew to Mr Bramble; who; stepping forward; made his bow at the
same time。 'Odso! no more it is Sir Francis  (said this wise
statesman) Mr Melford; I'm glad to see you  I sent you an
engineer to fortify your dock  Mr Bramble  your servant; Mr
Bramble  How d'ye; good Mr Bramble? Your nephew is a pretty young
fellow  Faith and troth; a very pretty fellow!  His father is my
old friend  How does he hold it? Still troubled with that damned
disorder; ha?' 'No; my lord (replied my uncle); all his troubles
are over  He has been dead these fifteen years。' 'Dead! how  Yes
faith! now I remember: he is dead sure enough  Well; and how 
does the young gentleman stand for Haverford West? or  a what
d'ye。 My dear Mr Milfordhaven; I'll do you all the service in my
power I hope I have some credit left'  My uncle then gave him to
understand; that I was still a minor; and that we had no
intention to trouble him at present; for any favour whatsoever 
'I came hither with my nephew (added he) to pay our respects to
your grace; and I may venture to say; that his views and mine are
at least as disinterested as those of any individual in this
assembly。' 'My dear Mr Brambleberry! you do me infinite honour  I
shall always rejoice to see you and your hopeful nephew; Mr
Milfordhaven  My credit; such as it is; you may command  I wish
we had more friends of your kidney。'

Then; turning to captain C; 'Ha; C! (said he) what news; C?
How does the world wag? ha!' 'The world wags much after the old
fashion; my lord (answered the captain): the politicians of
London and Westminster have begun again to wag their tongues
against your grace; and your short…lived popularity wags like a
feather; which the next puff of antiministerial calumny will blow
away'  'A pack of rascals (cried the duke)  Tories; Jacobites;
rebels; one half of them would wag their heels at Tyburn; if they
had their deserts'  So saying; he wheeled about; and going round
the levee; spoke to every individual; with the most courteous
familiarity; but he scarce ever opened his mouth without making
some blunder; in relation to the person or business of the party
with whom he conversed; so that he really looked like a comedian;
hired to burlesque the character of a minister  At length; a
person of a very prepossessing appearance coming in; his grace
ran up; and; hugging him in his arms; with the appellation of 'My
dear Chs!' led him forthwith into the inner apartment; or
Sanctum Sanctorum of this political temple。 'That (said captain
C) is my friend C T; almost the only man of parts who has
any concern in the present administration  Indeed; he would have
no concern at all in the matter; if the ministry did not find it
absolutely necessary to make use of his talents upon some
particular occasions  As for the common business of the nation;
it is carried on in a constant routine by the clerks of the
different offices; otherwise the wheels of government would be
wholly stopt amidst the abrupt succession of ministers; every one
more ignorant than his predecessor  I am thinking what a fine
hovel we should be in; if all the clerks of the treasury; the
secretaries; of the war…office; and the admiralty; should take it
in their heads to throw up their places in imitation of the great
pensioner But; to return to C T; he certainly knows more
than all the ministry and all the opposition; if their heads were
laid together; and talks like an angel on a vast variety of
subjects。 He would really be a great man; if he had any
consistency or stability of character  Then; it must be owned; he
wants courage; otherwise he would never allow himself to be cowed
by the great political bully; for whose understanding he has
justly a very great contempt。 I have seen him as much afraid of
that overbearing Hector; as ever schoolboy was of his pedagogue;
and yet this Hector; I shrewdly suspect; is no more than a craven
at bottom  Besides this defect; C has another; which he is at
too little pains to hide  There's no faith to be given to his
assertions; and no trust to be put in his promises  However; to
give the devil his due; he's very good…natured; and even
friendly; when close urged in the way of solicitation  As for
principle; that's out of the question  In a word; he is a wit and
an orator; extremely entertaining; and he shines very often at
the expence even of those ministers to whom he is a retainer。 This
is a mark of great imprudence; by which he has made them all his
enemies; whatever face they may put upon the matter; and sooner
or later he'll have cause to wish he had been able to keep his
own counsel。 I have several times cautioned him on this subject;
but 'tis all preaching to the desert  His vanity runs away with
his discretion'  I could not help thinking the captain himself
might have been the better for some hints of the same nature  His
panegyric; excluding principle and veracity; puts me in mind of a
contest I once overheard; in the way of altercation; betwixt two
apple…women in Spring…garden  One of those viragos having hinted
something to the prejudice of the other's moral character; her
antagonist; setting her hands in her sides; replied  'Speak out;
hussy  I scorn your malice  I own I'm both a whore and a thief;
and what more have you to say?  Damn you; what more have you to
say? baiting that; which all the world knows; I challenge you to
say black is the white of my eye'  We did not wait for Mr T's
coming forth; but after captain C had characterised all the
originals in waiting; we adjourned to a coffeehouse; where we had
buttered muffins and tea to breakfast; the said captain still
favouring us with his company  Nay; my uncle was so diverted with
his

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