the expedition of humphry clinker-第27部分
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that as it may； captain C entered into conversation with us in
the most familiar manner； and treated the duke's character
without any ceremony 'This wiseacre （said he） is still a…bed；
and； I think； the best thing he can do； is to sleep on till
Christmas； for； when he gets up； he does nothing but expose his
own folly。 Since Grenville was turned out； there has been no
minister in this nation worth the meal that whitened his peri…wig
They are so ignorant； they scarce know a crab from a
cauliflower； and then they are such dunces； that there's no
making them comprehend the plainest proposition In the beginning
of the war； this poor half…witted creature told me； in a great
fright； that thirty thousand French had marched from Acadie to
Cape Breton 〃Where did they find transports？ （said I）〃
〃Transports （cried he） I tell you they marched by land〃 〃By land
to the island of Cape Breton？〃 〃What！ is Cape Breton an island？〃
〃Certainly。〃 〃Ha！ are you sure of that？〃 When I pointed it out in
the map； he examined it earnestly with his spectacles； then；
taking me in his arms； 〃My dear C！ （cried he） you always bring
us good news Egad！ I'll go directly； and tell the king that Cape
Breton is an island。〃'
He seemed disposed to entertain us with more anecdotes of this
nature； at the expense of his grace； when he was interrupted by
the arrival of the Algerine ambassador； a venerable Turk； with a
long white beard； attended by his dragoman； or interpreter； and
another officer of his household； who had got no stockings to his
legs Captain C immediately spoke with an air of authority to a
servant in waiting； bidding him go and tell the duke to rise； as
there was a great deal of company come； and； among others； the
ambassador from Algiers。 Then； turning to us； 'This poor Turk
（said he） notwithstanding his grey beard； is a green…horn He has
been several years resident in London； and still is ignorant of
our
political revolutions。 This visit is intended for the prime
minister of England； but you'll see how this wise duke will
receive it as a mark of attachment to his own person' Certain it
is； the duke seemed eager to acknowledge the compliment A door
opened； he suddenly bolted out； with a shaving…cloth under his
chin； his face frothed up to the eyes with soap lather； and
running up to the ambassador； grinned hideous in his face 'My
dear Mahomet！ （said he） God love your long beard； I hope the dey
will make you a horsetail at the next promotion； ha； ha； ha！ Have
but a moment's patience； and I'll send to you in a twinkling；'
So saying； he retired into his den； leaving the Turk in some
confusion。 After a short pause； however； he said something to his
interpreter； the meaning of which I had great curiosity to know；
as he turned up his eyes while he spoke； expressing astonishment；
mixed with devotion。 We were gratified by means of the
communicative captain C； who conversed with the dragoman； as an
old acquaintance。 Ibrahim； the ambassador； who had mistaken his
grace for the minister's fool； was no sooner undeceived by the
interpreter； than he exclaimed to this effect 'Holy prophet！ I
don't wonder that this nation prospers； seeing it is governed by
the counsel of ideots； a series of men； whom all good mussulmen
revere as the organs of immediate inspiration！' Ibrahim was
favoured with a particular audience of short duration； after
which the duke conducted him to the door； and then returned to
diffuse his gracious looks among the crowd of his worshippers。
As Mr Barton advanced to present me to his grace； it was my
fortune to attract his notice； before I was announced He
forthwith met me more than half way； and； seizing me by the hand；
'My dear Sir Francis！ （cried he） this is so kind I vow to God！ I
am so obliged Such attention to a poor broken minister。 Well
Pray when does your excellency set sail？ For God's sake have a
care of your health； and cat stewed prunes in the passage。 Next to
your own precious health； pray； my dear excellency； take care of
the Five Nations Our good friends the Five Nations。 The
Toryrories； the Maccolmacks； the Out…o'the…ways； the Crickets；
and the Kickshaws Let 'em have plenty of blankets； and
stinkubus； and wampum； and your excellency won't fail to scour
the kettle； and boil the chain； and bury the tree； and plant the
hatchet Ha； ha； ha！' When he had uttered this rhapsody； with his
usual precipitation； Mr Barton gave him to understand； that I was
neither Sir Francis； nor St Francis； but simply Mr Melford；
nephew to Mr Bramble； who； stepping forward； made his bow at the
same time。 'Odso！ no more it is Sir Francis （said this wise
statesman） Mr Melford； I'm glad to see you I sent you an
engineer to fortify your dock Mr Bramble your servant； Mr
Bramble How d'ye； good Mr Bramble？ Your nephew is a pretty young
fellow Faith and troth； a very pretty fellow！ His father is my
old friend How does he hold it？ Still troubled with that damned
disorder； ha？' 'No； my lord （replied my uncle）； all his troubles
are over He has been dead these fifteen years。' 'Dead！ how Yes
faith！ now I remember： he is dead sure enough Well； and how
does the young gentleman stand for Haverford West？ or a what
d'ye。 My dear Mr Milfordhaven； I'll do you all the service in my
power I hope I have some credit left' My uncle then gave him to
understand； that I was still a minor； and that we had no
intention to trouble him at present； for any favour whatsoever
'I came hither with my nephew （added he） to pay our respects to
your grace； and I may venture to say； that his views and mine are
at least as disinterested as those of any individual in this
assembly。' 'My dear Mr Brambleberry！ you do me infinite honour I
shall always rejoice to see you and your hopeful nephew； Mr
Milfordhaven My credit； such as it is； you may command I wish
we had more friends of your kidney。'
Then； turning to captain C； 'Ha； C！ （said he） what news； C？
How does the world wag？ ha！' 'The world wags much after the old
fashion； my lord （answered the captain）： the politicians of
London and Westminster have begun again to wag their tongues
against your grace； and your short…lived popularity wags like a
feather； which the next puff of antiministerial calumny will blow
away' 'A pack of rascals （cried the duke） Tories； Jacobites；
rebels； one half of them would wag their heels at Tyburn； if they
had their deserts' So saying； he wheeled about； and going round
the levee； spoke to every individual； with the most courteous
familiarity； but he scarce ever opened his mouth without making
some blunder； in relation to the person or business of the party
with whom he conversed； so that he really looked like a comedian；
hired to burlesque the character of a minister At length； a
person of a very prepossessing appearance coming in； his grace
ran up； and； hugging him in his arms； with the appellation of 'My
dear Chs！' led him forthwith into the inner apartment； or
Sanctum Sanctorum of this political temple。 'That （said captain
C） is my friend C T； almost the only man of parts who has
any concern in the present administration Indeed； he would have
no concern at all in the matter； if the ministry did not find it
absolutely necessary to make use of his talents upon some
particular occasions As for the common business of the nation；
it is carried on in a constant routine by the clerks of the
different offices； otherwise the wheels of government would be
wholly stopt amidst the abrupt succession of ministers； every one
more ignorant than his predecessor I am thinking what a fine
hovel we should be in； if all the clerks of the treasury； the
secretaries； of the war…office； and the admiralty； should take it
in their heads to throw up their places in imitation of the great
pensioner But； to return to C T； he certainly knows more
than all the ministry and all the opposition； if their heads were
laid together； and talks like an angel on a vast variety of
subjects。 He would really be a great man； if he had any
consistency or stability of character Then； it must be owned； he
wants courage； otherwise he would never allow himself to be cowed
by the great political bully； for whose understanding he has
justly a very great contempt。 I have seen him as much afraid of
that overbearing Hector； as ever schoolboy was of his pedagogue；
and yet this Hector； I shrewdly suspect； is no more than a craven
at bottom Besides this defect； C has another； which he is at
too little pains to hide There's no faith to be given to his
assertions； and no trust to be put in his promises However； to
give the devil his due； he's very good…natured； and even
friendly； when close urged in the way of solicitation As for
principle； that's out of the question In a word； he is a wit and
an orator； extremely entertaining； and he shines very often at
the expence even of those ministers to whom he is a retainer。 This
is a mark of great imprudence； by which he has made them all his
enemies； whatever face they may put upon the matter； and sooner
or later he'll have cause to wish he had been able to keep his
own counsel。 I have several times cautioned him on this subject；
but 'tis all preaching to the desert His vanity runs away with
his discretion' I could not help thinking the captain himself
might have been the better for some hints of the same nature His
panegyric； excluding principle and veracity； puts me in mind of a
contest I once overheard； in the way of altercation； betwixt two
apple…women in Spring…garden One of those viragos having hinted
something to the prejudice of the other's moral character； her
antagonist； setting her hands in her sides； replied 'Speak out；
hussy I scorn your malice I own I'm both a whore and a thief；
and what more have you to say？ Damn you； what more have you to
say？ baiting that； which all the world knows； I challenge you to
say black is the white of my eye' We did not wait for Mr T's
coming forth； but after captain C had characterised all the
originals in waiting； we adjourned to a coffeehouse； where we had
buttered muffins and tea to breakfast； the said captain still
favouring us with his company Nay； my uncle was so diverted with
his
