the expedition of humphry clinker-第30部分

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who　shine　most　in　private　company；　are　but　secondary　stars　in　the
constellation　of　genius　　A　small　stock　of　ideas　is　more　easily
managed；　and　sooner　displayed；　than　a　great　quantity　crowded
together。　There　is　very　seldom　any　thing　extraordinary　in　the
appearance　and　address　of　a　good　writer；　whereas　a　dull　author
generally　distinguishes　himself　by　some　oddity　or　extravagance。
For　this　reason；　I　fancy；　that　an　assembly　of　Grubs　must　be　very
diverting。'

My　curiosity　being　excited　by　this　hint；　I　consulted　my　friend
Dick　Ivy；　who　undertook　to　gratify　it　the　very　next　day；　which
was　Sunday　last。　He　carried　me　to　dine　with　S；　whom　you　and　I
have　long　known　by　his　writings。　　He　lives　in　the　skirts　of　the
town；　and　every　Sunday　his　house　is　opened　to　all　unfortunate
brothers　of　the　quill；　whom　he　treats　with　beef；　pudding；　and
potatoes；　port；　punch；　and　Calvert's　entire　butt　beer。　He　has
fixed　upon　the　first　day　of　the　week　for　the　exercise　of　his
hospitality；　because　some　of　his　guests　could　not　enjoy　it　on　any
other；　for　reasons　that　I　need　not　explain。　I　was　civilly
received　in　a　plain；　yet　decent　habitation；　which　opened
backwards　into　a　very　pleasant　garden；　kept　in　excellent　order；
and；　indeed；　I　saw　none　of　the　outward　signs　of　authorship；
either　in　the　house　or　the　landlord；　who　is　one　of　those　few
writers　of　the　age　that　stand　upon　their　own　foundation；　without
patronage；　and　above　dependence。　If　there　was　nothing
characteristic　in　the　entertainer；　the　company　made　ample　amends
for　his　want　of　singularity。

At　two　in　the　afternoon；　I　found　myself　one　of　ten　messmates
seated　at　table；　and；　I　question；　if　the　whole　kingdom　could
produce　such　another　assemblage　of　originals。　Among　their
peculiarities；　I　do　not　mention　those　of　dress；　which　may　be
purely　accidental。　What　struck　me　were　oddities　originally
produced　by　affectation；　and　afterwards　confirmed　by　habit。　One
of　them　wore　spectacles　at　dinner；　and　another　his　hat　flapped；
though　（as　Ivy　told　me）　the　first　was　noted　for　having　a　seaman's
eye；　when　a　bailiff　was　in　the　wind；　and　the　other　was　never
known　to　labour　under　any　weakness　or　defect　of　vision；　except
about　five　years　ago；　when　he　was　complimented　with　a　couple　of
black　eyes　by　a　player；　with　whom　he　had　quarrelled　in　his　drink。
A　third　wore　a　laced　stocking；　and　made　use　of　crutches；　because；
once　in　his　life；　he　had　been　laid　up　with　a　broken　leg；　though
no　man　could　leap　over　a　stick　with　more　agility。　A　fourth　had
contracted　such　an　antipathy　to　the　country；　that　he　insisted
upon　sitting　with　his　back　towards　the　window　that　looked　into
the　garden；　and　when　a　dish　of　cauliflower　was　set　upon　the
table；　he　snuffed　up　volatile　salts　to　keep　him　from　fainting；
yet　this　delicate　person　was　the　son　of　a　cottager；　born　under　a
hedge；　and　had　many　years　run　wild　among　asses　on　a　common。　A
fifth　affected　distraction。　When　spoke　to；　he　always　answered　from
the　purpose　sometimes　he　suddenly　started　up；　and　rapped　out　a
dreadful　oath　sometimes　he　burst　out　a…laughing　　then　he　folded
his　arms；　and　sighed　and　then；　he　hissed　like　fifty　serpents。

At　first　I　really　thought　he　was　mad；　and；　as　he　sat　near　me；
began　to　be　under　some　apprehensions　for　my　own　safety；　when　our
landlord；　perceiving　me　alarmed；　assured　me　aloud　that　I　had
nothing　to　fear。　'The　gentleman　（said　he）　is　trying　to　act　a　part
for　which　he　is　by　no　means　qualified　　if　he　had　all　the
inclination　in　the　world；　it　is　not　in　his　power　to　be　mad。　His
spirits　are　too　flat　to　be　kindled　into　frenzy。'　''Tis　no　bad　p…p…puff；
however　　（observed　a　person　in　a　tarnished　laced　coat）：
aff…ffected　in…madness　w…will　p…pass　for　w…wit　w…with　nine…ninet…teen
out　of　t…twenty。'　　'And　affected　stuttering　for　humour：
replied　our　landlord；　tho'；　God　knows；　there　is　an　affinity
betwixt　them。'　It　seems；　this　wag；　after　having　made　some
abortive　attempts　in　plain　speaking；　had　recourse　to　this　defect；
by　means　of　which　he　frequently　extorted　the　laugh　of　the
company；　without　the　least　expence　of　genius；　and　that
imperfection；　which　he　had　at　first　counterfeited；　was　now　become
so　habitual；　that　he　could　not　lay　it　aside。

A　certain　winking　genius；　who　wore　yellow　gloves　at　dinner；　had；
on　his　first　introduction；　taken　such　offence　at　S；　because　he
looked　and　talked；　and　ate　and　drank　like　any　other　man；　that　he
spoke　contemptuously　of　his　understanding　ever　after；　and　never
would　repeat　his　visit；　until　he　had　exhibited　the　following
proof　of　his　caprice。　Wat　Wyvil；　the　poet；　having　made　some
unsuccessful　advances　towards　an　intimacy　with　S；　at　last　gave
him　to　understand；　by　a　third　person；　that　he　had　written　a　poem
in　his　praise；　and　a　satire　against　his　person；　that　if　he　would
admit　him　to　his　house；　the　first　should　be　immediately　sent　to
press；　but　that　if　he　persisted　in　declining　his　friendship；　he
would　publish　his　satire　without　delay。　S　replied；　that　he
looked　upon　Wyvil's　panegyrick；　as　in　effect；　a　species　of
infamy；　and　would　resent　it　accordingly　with　a　good　cudgel；　but
if　he　published　the　satire；　he　might　deserve　his　compassion；　and
had　nothing　to　fear　from　his　revenge。　Wyvil　having　considered　the
alternative；　resolved　to　mortify　S　by　printing　the　panegyrick；
for　which　he　received　a　sound　drubbing。　Then　he　swore　the　peace
against　the　aggressor；　who；　in　order　to　avoid　a　prosecution　at
law；　admitted　him　to　his　good　graces。　It　was　the　singularity　in
S's　conduct；　on　this　occasion；　that　reconciled　him　to　the
yellow…gloved　philosopher；　who　owned　he　had　some　genius；　and　from
that　period　cultivated　his　acquaintance。

Curious　to　know　upon　what　subjects　the　several　talents　of　my
fellow…guests　were　employed；　I　applied　to　my　communicative　friend
Dick　Ivy；　who　gave　me　to　understand；　that　most　of　them　were；　or
had　been；　understrappers；　or　journeymen；　to　more　creditable
authors；　for　whom　they　translated；　collated；　and　compiled；　in　the
business　of　bookmaking；　and　that　all　of　them　had；　at　different
times；　laboured　in　the　service　of　our　landlord；　though　they　had
now　set　up　for　themselves　in　various　departments　of　literature。
Not　only　their　talents；　but　also　their　nations　and　dialects　were
so　various；　that　our　conversation　resembled　the　confusion　of
tongues　at　Babel。　We　had　the　Irish　brogue；　the　Scotch　accent；　and
foreign　idiom；　twanged　off　by　the　most　discordant　vociferation；
for；　as　they　all　spoke　together；　no　man　had　any　chance　to　be
heard；　unless　he　could　bawl　louder　than　his　fellows。　It　must　be
owned；　however；　there　was　nothing　pedantic　in　their　discourse；
they　carefully　avoided　all　learned　disquisitions；　and　endeavoured
to　be　facetious；　nor　did　their　endeavours　always　miscarry　　some
droll　repartee　passed；　and　much　laughter　was　excited；　and　if　any
individual　lost　his　temper　so　far　as　to　transgress　the　bounds　of
decorum；　he　was　effectually　checked　by　the　master　of　the　feast；
who　exerted　a　sort　of　paternal　authority　over　this　irritable
tribe。

The　most　learned　philosopher　of　the　whole　collection；　who　had
been　expelled　the　university　for　atheism；　has　made　great　progress
in　a　refutation　of　lord　Bolingbroke's　metaphysical　works；　which
is　said　to　be　equally　ingenious；　and　orthodox；　but；　in　the　mean
time；　he　has　been　presented　to　the　grand　jury　as　a　public
nuisance；　for　having　blasphemed　in　an　ale…house　on　the　Lord's
day。　The　Scotchman　gives　lectures　on　the　pronunciation　of　the
English　language；　which　he　is　now　publishing　by　subscription。

The　Irishman　is　a　political　writer；　and　goes　by　the　name　of　my
Lord　Potatoe。　He　wrote　a　pamphlet　in　vindication　of　a　minister；
hoping　his　zeal　would　be　rewarded　with　some　place　or　pension；
but；　finding　himself　neglected　in　that　quarter；　he　whispered
about；　that　the　pamphlet　was　written　by　the　minister　himself；　and
he　published　an　answer　to　his　own　production。　In　this；　he
addressed　the　author　under　the　title　of　your　lordship　with　such
solemnity；　that　the　public　swallowed　the　deceit；　and　bought　up
the　whole　impression。　The　wise　politicians　of　the　metropolis
declared　they　were　both　masterly　performances；　and　chuckled　over
the　flimsy　reveries　of　an　ignorant　garretteer；　as　the　profound
speculations　of　a　veteran　statesman；　acquainted　with　all　the
secrets　of　the　cabinet。　The　imposture　was　detected　in　the　sequel；
and　our　Hibernian　pamphleteer　retains　no　part　of　his　assumed
importance；　but　the　bare　title　of　my　lord。　and　the　upper　part　of
the　table　at　the　potatoe…ordinary　in　Shoelane。

Opposite　to　me　sat　a　Piedmontese；　who　had　obliged　the　public　with
a　humorous　satire；　intituled；　The　Ballance　of　the　English　Poets；
a　performance　which　evinced　the　great　modesty　and　taste　of　the
author；　and；　in　particular；　his　intimacy　with　the　elegancies　of
the　English　language。　The　sage；　who　laboured　under　the
agrophobia；　or　horror　of　green　fields；　had　just　finished　a
treatise　on　practical　agriculture；　though；　in　fact；　he　had　never
seen　corn　growing　in　his　life；　and　was　so　ignorant　of　grain；　that
our　entertainer；　in　the　face　of　the　whole　company；　made　him　own；
that　a　plate　of　hominy　was　the　best　rice　pudding　he　had　ever　eat。

The　stutterer　had　almost　finished　his　travels　through　Europe　and
part　of　Asia；　without　ever　budging　beyond　the　liberties　of　the
King's　Bench；　except　in　term…time；　with　a　tipstaff　for　his
companion；　and　as　for　little　Tim　Cropdale；　the　most　facetious
member　of　the　whole　society；　he　had　happily　wound　up　the
catastrophe　of　a　virgin　tragedy；　from　the　exhibition　of　which　he
promised　himself　a　large　fund　of　profit　and　reputation。　Tim　had
made　shift　to　live　many　years　by　writing　novels；　at　the　rate　of
five　pounds　a　volume；　but　that　branch　of　business　is　now
engrossed　by　female　authors；　who　publish　merely　for　the
propagation　of　virtue；　with　so　much　ease　and　spirit；　and
delicacy；　and　knowledge　of　the　human　heart；　and　all　in　the　serene
tranquillity　of　high　life；　that　the　reader　is　not　only　inchanted
by　their　genius；　but　reformed　by　their　morality。

After　dinner；　we　adjourned　into　the　garden；　where；　I　observed；　Mr
S　gave　a　short　separate　audience　to　every　individual　in　a　small
remote　filbert　walk；　from　whence　most　of　them　dropt　off　one　after
another；　without　further　ceremony；　but　they　were　replaced　by
fresh　r