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the expedition of humphry clinker-第39部分

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to maintain good…fellowship; and promote the purposes of
humanity; in favour of those who come hither on the score of
health。 I see several faces which we left at Bath; although the
majority are of the Northern counties; and many come from
Scotland for the benefit of these waters  In such a variety;
there must be some originals; among whom Mrs Tabitha Bramble is
not the most inconsiderable  No place where there is such an
intercourse between the sexes; can be disagreeable to a lady of
her views and temperament  She has had some warm disputes at
table; with a lame parson from Northumberland; on the new birth;
and the insignificance of moral virtue; and her arguments have
been reinforced by an old Scotch lawyer; in a rye periwig; who;
though he has lost his teeth; and the use of his limbs; can still
wag his tongue with great volubility。 He has paid her such
fulsome compliments; upon her piety and learning; as seem to have
won her heart; and she; in her turn; treats him with such
attention as indicates a design upon his person; but; by all
accounts; he is too much of a fox to be inveigled into any snare
that she can lay for his affection。

We do not propose to stay long at Harrigate; though; at present;
it is our headquarters; from whence we shall make some
excursions; to visit two or three of our rich relations; who are
settled in this country。  Pray; remember me to all our friends of
Jesus; and allow me to be still

Yours affectionately;
J。 MELFORD
HARRIGATE; June 23。



To Dr LEWIS。

DEAR DOCTOR;

Considering the tax we pay for turnpikes; the roads of this
county constitute a most intolerable grievance。 Between Newark
and Weatherby; I have suffered more from jolting and swinging
than ever I felt in the whole course of my life; although the
carriage is remarkably commodious and well hung; and the
postilions were very careful in driving。 I am now safely housed
at the New Inn; at Harrigate; whither I came to satisfy my
curiosity; rather than with any view of advantage to my health;
and; truly; after having considered all the parts and particulars
of the place; I cannot account for the concourse of people one
finds here; upon any other principle but that of caprice; which
seems to be the character of our nation。

Harrigate is a wild common; bare and bleak; without tree or
shrub; or the least signs of cultivation; and the people who
come to drink the water; are crowded together in paltry inns;
where the few tolerable rooms are monopolized by the friends and
favourites of the house; and all the rest of the lodgers are
obliged to put up with dirty holes; where there is neither space;
air; nor convenience。 My apartment is about ten feet square; and
when the folding bed is down; there is just room sufficient to
pass between it and the fire。 One might expect; indeed; that
there would be no occasion for a fire at Midsummer; but here the
climate is so backward; that an ash tree; which our landlord
has planted before my window; is just beginning to put forth its
leaves; and I am fain to have my bed warmed every night。

As for the water; which is said to have effected so many
surprising cures; I have drank it once; and the first draught has
cured me of all desire to repeat the medicine。  Some people say
it smells of rotten eggs; and others compare it to the scourings
of a foul gun。  It is generally supposed to be strongly
impregnated with sulphur; and Dr Shaw; in his book upon mineral
water; says; he has seen flakes of sulphur floating in the well 
Pace tanti viri; I; for my part; have never observed any thing
like sulphur; either in or about the well; neither do I find that
any brimstone has ever been extracted from the water。 As for the
smell; if I may be allowed to judge from my own organs; it is
exactly that of bilge…water; and the saline taste of it seems to
declare that it is nothing else than salt water putrified in the
bowels of the earth。 I was obliged to hold my nose with one hand;
while I advanced the glass to my mouth with the other; and after
I had made shift to swallow it; my stomach could hardly retain
what it had received。  The only effects it produced were
sickness; griping; and insurmountable disgust。  I can hardly
mention it without puking。  The world is strangely misled by the
affectation of singularity。 I cannot help suspecting; that this
water owes its reputation in a great measure to its being so
strikingly offensive。  On the same kind of analogy; a German
doctor has introduced hemlock and other poisons; as specifics;
into the materia medica。  I am persuaded; that all the cures
ascribed to the Harrigate water; would have been as
efficaciously; and infinitely more agreeably performed; by the
internal and external use of seawater。 Sure I am; this last is
much less nauseous to the taste and smell; and much more gentle
in its operation as a purge; as well as more extensive in its
medical qualities。

Two days ago we went across the country to visit 'squire Burdock;
who married a first cousin of my father; an heiress; who brought
him an estate of a thousand a…year。 This gentleman is a declared
opponent of the ministry in parliament; and having an opulent
fortune; piques himself upon living in the country; and
maintaining old English hospitality  By the bye; this is a phrase
very much used by the English themselves both in words and
writing; but I never heard of it out of the island; except by way
of irony and sarcasm。 What the hospitality of our forefathers has
been I should be glad to see recorded; rather in the memoirs of
strangers who have visited our country; and were the proper
objects and judges of such hospitality; than in the discourse and
lucubrations of the modern English; who seem to describe it from
theory and conjecture。 Certain it is; we are generally looked
upon by foreigners; as a people totally destitute of this virtue;
and I never was in any country abroad; where I did not meet with
persons of distinction; who complained of having been
inhospitably used in Great Britain。 A gentleman of France; Italy;
or Germany; who has entertained and lodged an Englishman at his
house; when he afterwards meets with his guest at London; is
asked to dinner at the Saracen's…head; the Turk's…head; the
Boar's…head; or the Bear; eats raw beef and butter; drinks
execrable port; and is allowed to pay his share of the reckoning。

But to return from this digression; which my feeling for the
honour of my country obliged me to make  our Yorkshire cousin has
been a mighty fox…hunter before the Lord; but now he is too fat
and unwieldy to leap ditches and five…bar gates; nevertheless; he
still keeps a pack of hounds; which are well exercised; and his
huntsman every night entertains him with the adventures of the
day's chace; which he recites in a tone and terms that are
extremely curious and significant。 In the mean time; his broad
brawn is scratched by one of his grooms。  This fellow; it
seems; having no inclination to curry any beast out of the
stable; was at great pains to scollop his nails in such a manner
that the blood followed at every stroke。  He was in hopes that he
would be dismissed from this disagreeable office; but the event
turned out contrary to his expectation。  His master declared he
was the best scratcher in the family; and now he will not suffer
any other servant to draw a nail upon his carcase。

The 'squire's lady is very proud; without being stiff or
inaccessible。 She receives even her inferiors in point of fortune
with a kind of arrogant civility; but then she thinks she has a
right to treat them with the most ungracious freedoms of speech;
and never fails to let them know she is sensible of her own
superior affluence。 In a word; she speaks well of no living soul;
and has not one single friend in the world。 Her husband hates her
mortally; but; although the brute is sometimes so very powerful
in him that he will have his own way; he generally truckles to
her dominion; and dreads; like a school…boy; the lash of her
tongue。 On the other hand; she is afraid of provoking him too
far; lest he should make some desperate effort to shake off her
yoke。  She; therefore; acquiesces in the proofs he daily gives of
his attachment to the liberty of an English freeholder; by saying
and doing; at his own table; whatever gratifies the brutality of
his disposition; or contributes to the case of his person。 The
house; though large; is neither elegant nor comfortable。  It
looks like a great inn; crowded with travellers; who dine at the
landlord's ordinary; where there is a great profusion of victuals
and drink; but mine host seems to be misplaced; and I would
rather dine upon filberts with a hermit; than feed upon venison
with a hog。 The footmen might be aptly compared to the waiters of
a tavern; if they were more serviceable and less rapacious; but
they are generally insolent and inattentive; and so greedy; that;
I think; I can dine better; and for less expence; at the Star and
Garter in Pall mall; than at our cousin's castle in Yorkshire。
The 'squire is not only accommodated with a wife; but he is also
blessed with an only son; about two and twenty; just returned
from Italy; a complete fidler and dillettante; and he slips no
opportunity of manifesting the most perfect contempt for his own
father。

When we arrived; there was a family of foreigners at the house;
on a visit to this virtuoso; with whom they had been acquainted
at the Spa; it was the count de Melville; with his lady; on their
way to Scotland。 Mr Burdock had met with an accident; in
consequence of which both the count and I would have retired but
the young gentleman and his mother insisted upon our staying
dinner; and their serenity seemed to be so little ruffled by what
had happened; that we complied with their invitation。 The 'squire
had been brought home over night in his post…chaise; so terribly
belaboured about the pate; that he seemed to be in a state of
stupefaction; and had ever since remained speechless。 A country
apothecary; called Grieve; who lived in a neighbouring village;
having been called to his assistance; had let him blood; and
applied a poultice to his head; declaring; that he had no fever;
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