the expedition of humphry clinker-第46部分

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If　I　have　not　been　lucky　in　the　lottery　of　life；　so　neither　do　I
think　myself　unfortunate　　I　owe　to　no　man　a　farthing；　I　can
always　command　a　clean　shirt；　a　mutton…chop；　and　a　truss　of
straw；　and　when　I　die；　I　shall　leave　effects　sufficient　to　defray
the　expence　of　my　burial。'

My　uncle　assured　him；　he　had　no　intention　to　give　him　the　least
offence；　by　the　observations　he　had　made；　but；　on　the　contrary；
spoke　from　a　sentiment　of　friendly　regard　to　his　interest　　The
lieutenant　thanked　him　with　a　stiffness　of　civility；　which
nettled　our　old　gentleman；　who　perceived　that　his　moderation　was
all　affected；　for；　whatsoever　his　tongue　might　declare；　his　whole
appearance　denoted　dissatisfaction　　In　short；　without　pretending
to　judge　of　his　military　merit；　I　think　I　may　affirm；　that　this
Caledonian　is　a　self…conceited　pedant；　aukward；　rude；　and
disputacious　　He　has　had　the　benefit　of　a　school…education；　seems
to　have　read　a　good　number　of　books；　his　memory　is　tenacious；　and
he　pretends　to　speak　several　different　languages；　but　he　is　so
addicted　to　wrangling；　that　he　will　cavil　at　the　clearest　truths；
and；　in　the　pride　of　argumentation；　attempt　to　reconcile
contradictions　　Whether　his　address　and　qualifications　are　really
of　that　stamp　which　is　agreeable　to　the　taste　of　our　aunt；　Mrs
Tabitha；　or　that　indefatigable　maiden　is　determined　to　shoot　at
every　sort　of　game；　certain　it　is　she　has　begun　to　practice　upon
the　heart　of　the　lieutenant；　who　favoured　us　with　his　company　to
supper。

I　have　many　other　things　to　say　of　this　man　of　war；　which　I　shall
communicate　in　a　post　or　two；　mean　while；　it　is　but　reasonable
that　you　should　be　indulged　with　some　respite　from　those　weary
lucubrations　of

Yours；
J。　MELFORD
NEWCASTLE　UPON　TYNE；　July　10。



To　Sir　WATKIN　PHILLIPS　Bart。　of　Jesus　college；　Oxon。

DEAR　PHILLIPS；

In　my　last　I　treated　you　with　a　high　flavoured　dish；　in　the
character　of　the　Scotch　lieutenant；　and　I　must　present　him　once
more　for　your　entertainment。　It　was　our　fortune　to　feed　upon　him
the　best　part　of　three　days；　and　I　do　not　doubt　that　he　will
start　again　in　our　way　before　we　shall　have　finished　our　northern
excursion。　The　day　after　our　meeting　with　him　at　Durham　proved　so
tempestuous　that　we　did　not　choose　to　proceed　on　our　journey；　and
my　uncle　persuaded　him　to　stay　till　the　weather　should　clear　up；
giving　him；　at　the　same　time；　a　general　invitation　to　our　mess。
The　man　has　certainly　gathered　a　whole　budget　of　shrewd
observations；　but　he　brings　them　forth　in　such　an　ungracious
manner　as　would　be　extremely　disgusting；　if　it　was　not　marked　by
that　characteristic　oddity　which　never　fails　to　attract　the
attention　　He　and　Mr　Bramble　discoursed；　and　even　disputed；　on
different　subjects　in　war；　policy；　the　belles　lettres；　law；　and
metaphysics；　and　sometimes　they　were　warmed　into　such　altercation
as　seemed　to　threaten　an　abrupt　dissolution　of　their　society；　but
Mr　Bramble　set　a　guard　over　his　own　irascibility；　the　more
vigilantly　as　the　officer　was　his　guest；　and　when；　in　spite　of
all　his　efforts；　he　began　to　wax　warm；　the　other　prudently　cooled
in　the　same　proportion。

Mrs　Tabitha　chancing　to　accost　her　brother　by　the　familiar
diminutive　of　Matt；　'Pray；　sir　（said　the　lieutenant）；　'is　your
name　Matthias？'　You　must　know　it　is　one　of　our　uncle's　foibles　to
be　ashamed　of　his　name　Matthew；　because　it　is　puritanical；　and
this　question　chagrined　him　so　much；　that　he　answered；　'No；　by　G…d！'
in　a　very　abrupt　tone　of　displeasure。　　The　Scot　took　umbrage
at　the　manner　of　his　reply；　and　bristling　up；　'If　I　had　known
（said　he）　that　you　did　not　care　to　tell　your　name；　I　should　not
have　asked　the　question　　The　leddy　called　you　Matt；　and　I
naturally　thought　it　was　Matthias：　　perhaps；　it　may　be
Methuselah；　or　Metrodorus；　or　Metellus；　or　Mathurinus；　or
Malthinnus；　or　Matamorus；　or　'　'No　（cried　my　uncle　laughing）；　it
is　neither　of　those；　captain：　my　name　is　Matthew　Bramble；　at；
your　service。　　The　truth　is；　have　a　foolish　pique　at　the　name　of
Matthew；　because　it　favours　of　those　canting　hypocrites；　who；　in
Cromwell's　time；　christened　all　their　children　by　names　taken
from　the　scripture。'　'A　foolish　pique　indeed。　（cried　Mrs　Tabby）；
and　even　sinful；　to　fall　out　with　your　name　because　it　is　taken
from　holy　writ。　　I　would　have　you　to　know；　you　was　called　after
great…uncle　Matthew　ap　Madoc　ap　Meredith；　esquire；　of
Llanwysthin；　in　Montgomeryshire；　justice　of　the　quorum；　and
crusty　ruttleorum；　a　gentleman　of　great　worth　and　property；
descended　in　a　strait　line；　by　the　female　side；　from　Llewellyn；
prince　of　Wales。'

This　genealogical　anecdote　seemed　to　make　some　impression　upon
the　North…Briton；　who　bowed　very　low　to　the　descendant　of
Llewellyn；　and　observed　that　he　himself　had　the　honour　of　a
scriptural　nomination。　The　lady　expressing　a　desire　of　knowing
his　address；　he　said；　he　designed　himself　Lieutenant　Obadiah
Lismahago；　and　in　order　to　assist　her　memory；　he　presented　her
with　a　slip　of　paper　inscribed　with　these　three　words；　which　she
repeated　with　great　emphasis；　declaring；　it　was　one　of　the　most
noble　and　sonorous　names　she　had　ever　heard。　He　observed　that
Obadiah　was　an　adventitious　appellation；　derived　from　his　great…
grandfather；　who　had　been　one　of　the　original　covenanters；　but
Lismahago　was　the　family　surname；　taken　from　a　place　in　Scotland
so　called。　He　likewise　dropped　some　hints　about　the　antiquity　of
his　pedigree；　adding；　with　a　smile　of　self…denial；　Sed　genus　et
proavos；　et　quoe　non　fecimus　ipsi；　vix　ea　nostra　voco；　which
quotation　he　explained　in　deference　to　the　ladies；　and　Mrs
Tabitha　did　not　fail　to　compliment　him　on　his　modesty　in　waving
the　merit　of　his　ancestry；　adding；　that　it　was　the　less　necessary
to　him；　as　he　had　such　a　considerable　fund　of　his　own。　She　now
began　to　glew　herself　to　his　favour　with　the　grossest　adulation。　
She　expatiated　upon　the　antiquity　and　virtues　of　the　Scottish
nation；　upon　their　valour；　probity；　learning；　and　politeness。　She
even　descended　to　encomiums　on　his　own　personal　address；　his
gallantry；　good　sense；　and　erudition。　　She　appealed　to　her
brother；　whether　the　captain　was　not　the　very　image　of　our　cousin
governor　Griffith。　She　discovered　a　surprising　eagerness　to　know
the　particulars　of　his　life；　and　asked　a　thousand　questions
concerning　his　atchievements　in　war；　all　which　Mr　Lismahago
answered　with　a　sort　of　jesuitical　reserve；　affecting　a
reluctance　to　satisfy　her　curiosity　on　a　subject　that　concerned
his　own　exploits。

By　dint　of　her　interrogations；　however；　we　learned；　that　he　and
ensign　Murphy　had　made　their　escape　from　the　French　hospital　at
Montreal；　and　taken　to　the　woods；　in　hope　of　reaching　some
English　settlement；　but　mistaking　their　route；　they　fell　in　with
a　party　of　Miamis；　who　carried　them　away　in　captivity。　The
intention　of　these　Indians　was　to　give　one　of　them　as　an　adopted
son　to　a　venerable　sachem；　who　had　lost　his　own　in　the　course　of
the　war；　and　to　sacrifice　the　other　according　to　the　custom　of
the　country。　Murphy；　as　being　the　younger　and　handsomer　of　the
two；　was　designed　to　fill　the　place　of　the　deceased；　not　only　as
the　son　of　the　sachem；　but　as　the　spouse　of　a　beautiful　squaw；　to
whom　his　predecessor　had　been　betrothed；　but　in　passing　through
the　different　whigwhams　or　villages　of　the　Miamis；　poor　Murphy
was　so　mangled　by　the　women　and　children；　who　have　the　privilege
of　torturing　all　prisoners　in　their　passage；　that；　by　the　time
they　arrived　at　the　place　of　the　sachem's　residence；　he　was
rendered　altogether　unfit　for　the　purposes　of　marriage：　it　was
determined　therefore；　in　the　assembly　of　the　warriors；　that
ensign　Murphy　should　be　brought　to　the　stake；　and　that　the　lady
should　be　given　to　lieutenant　Lismahago；　who　had　likewise
received　his　share　of　torments；　though　they　had　not　produced
emasculation。　　A　joint　of　one　finger　had　been　cut；　or　rather
sawed　off　with　a　rusty　knife；　one　of　his　great　toes　was　crushed
into　a　mash　betwixt　two　stones；　some　of　his　teeth　were　drawn；　or
dug　out　with　a　crooked　nail；　splintered　reeds　had　been　thrust　up
his　nostrils　and　other　tender　parts；　and　the　calves　of　his　legs
had　been　blown　up　with　mines　of　gunpowder　dug　in　the　flesh　with
the　sharp　point　of　the　tomahawk。

The　Indians　themselves　allowed　that　Murphy　died　with　great
heroism；　singing；　as　his　death　song；　the　Drimmendoo；　in　concert
with　Mr　Lismahago；　who　was　present　at　the　solemnity。　After　the
warriors　and　the　matrons　had　made　a　hearty　meal　upon　the　muscular
flesh　which　they　pared　from　the　victim；　and　had　applied　a　great
variety　of　tortures；　which　he　bore　without　flinching；　an　old
lady；　with　a　sharp　knife；　scooped　out　one　of　his　eyes；　and　put　a
burning　coal　in　the　socket。　The　pain　of　this　operation　was　so
exquisite　that　he　could　not　help　bellowing；　upon　which　the
audience　raised　a　shout　of　exultation；　and　one　of　the　warriors
stealing　behind　him；　gave　him　the　coup　de　grace　with　a　hatchet。

Lismahago's　bride；　the　squaw　Squinkinacoosta；　distinguished
herself　on　this　occasion。　　She　shewed　a　great　superiority　of
genius　in　the　tortures　which　she　contrived　and　executed　with　her
own　hands。　　She　vied　with　the　stoutest　warrior　in　eating　the
flesh　of　the　sacrifice；　and　after　all　the　other　females　were
fuddled　with　dram…drinking；　she　was　not　so　intoxicated　but　that
she　was　able　to　play　the　game　of　the　platter　with　the　conjuring
sachem；　and　afterwards　go　through　the　ceremony　of　her　own
wedding；　which　was　consummated　that　same　evening。　The　captain　had
lived　very　happily　with　this　accomplished　squaw　for　two　years；
during　which　she　bore　him　a　son；　who　is　now　the　representative　of
his　mother's　tribe；　but；　at　length；　to　his　unspeakable　grief；　she
had　died　of　a　fever；　occasioned　by　eating　too　much　raw　bear；
which　they　had　killed　in　a　hunting　excursion。

By　this　time；　Mr　Lismahago　was　elected　sachem；　acknowledged　first
warrior　of　the　Badger　tribe；　and　dignified　with　the　name　or
epithet　of　Occacanastaogarora；　which　signifies　nimble　as　a
weasel；　but　all　these　advantages　and　honours　he　was　obliged　to
resign；　in　consequence　of　being　exchanged　for　the　orator　of　the
community；　who　had　been　taken　prisoner　by　the　Indians　that　were
in　alliance　with　the　English