roundabout papers-第20部分

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　women　and　girls；　were　sliding；　and　roaring；　and　clapping　their　lean　old　sides　with　laughter；　as　they　tumbled　down；　and　their　hobnailed　shoes　flew　up　in　the　air；　the　air　frosty　with　a　lilac　haze；　through　which　villas；　and　commons；　and　churches；　and　plantations　glimmered。　　We　drive　up　the　hill；　Bob　and　I；　we　make　the　last　two　miles　in　eleven　minutes；　we　pass　that　poor；　armless　man　who　sits　there　in　the　cold；　following　you　with　his　eyes。　　I　don't　give　anything；　and　Bob　looks　disappointed。　　We　are　set　down　neatly　at　the　gate；　and　a　horse…holder　opens　the　brougham　door。　　I　don't　give　anything；　again　disappointment　on　Bob's　part。　　I　pay　a　shilling　apiece；　and　we　enter　into　the　glorious　building；　which　is　decorated　for　Christmas；　and　straight…way　forgetfulness　on　Bob's　part　of　everything　but　that　magnificent　scene。　　The　enormous　edifice　is　all　decorated　for　Bob　and　Christmas。　　The　stalls；　the　columns；　the　fountains；　courts；　statues；　splendors；　are　all　crowned　for　Christmas。　　The　delicious　negro　is　singing　his　Alabama　choruses　for　Christmas　and　Bob。　　He　has　scarcely　done；　when；　Tootarootatoo！　　Mr。　Punch　is　performing　his　surprising　actions；　and　hanging　the　beadle。　The　stalls　are　decorated。　　The　refreshment…tables　are　piled　with　good　things；　at　many　fountains　〃MULLED　CLARET〃　is　written　up　in　appetizing　capitals。　　〃Mulled　Claretoh；　jolly！　　How　cold　it　is！〃　says　Bob；　I　pass　on。　　〃It's　only　three　o'clock；〃　says　Bob。　　〃No；　only　three；〃　I　say；　meekly。　　〃We　dine　at　seven；〃　sighs　Bob；　〃and　it's　so…o…o　coo…old。〃　　I　still　would　take　no　hints。　　No　claret；　no　refreshment；　no　sandwiches；　no　sausage…rolls　for　Bob。　　At　last　I　am　obliged　to　tell　him　all。　　Just　before　we　left　home；　a　little　Christmas　bill　popped　in　at　the　door　and　emptied　my　purse　at　the　threshold。　　I　forgot　all　about　the　transaction；　and　had　to　borrow　half　a　crown　from　John　Coachman　to　pay　for　our　entrance　into　the　palace　of　delight。　　NOW　you　see；　Bob；　why　I　could　not　treat　you　on　that　second　of　January　when　we　drove　to　the　palace　together；　when　the　girls　and　boys　were　sliding　on　the　ponds　at　Dulwich；　when　the　darkling　river　was　full　of　floating　ice；　and　the　sun　was　like　a　warming…pan　in　the　leaden　sky。　One　more　Christmas　sight　we　had；　of　course；　and　that　sight　I　think　I　like　as　well　as　Bob　himself　at　Christmas；　and　at　all　seasons。　　We　went　to　a　certain　garden　of　delight；　where；　whatever　your　cares　are；　I　think　you　can　manage　to　forget　some　of　them；　and　muse；　and　be　not　unhappy；　to　a　garden　beginning　with　a　Z；　which　is　as　lively　as　Noah's　ark；　where　the　fox　has　brought　his　brush；　and　the　cock　has　brought　his　comb；　and　the　elephant　has　brought　his　trunk；　and　the　kangaroo　has　brought　his　bag；　and　the　condor　his　old　white　wig　and　black　satin　hood。　　On　this　day　it　was　so　cold　that　the　white　bears　winked　their　pink　eyes；　as　they　plapped　up　and　down　by　their　pool；　and　seemed　to　say；　〃Aha；　this　weather　reminds　us　of　our　dear　home！〃　〃Cold！　bah！　I　have　got　such　a　warm　coat；〃　says　brother　Bruin；　〃I　don't　mind；〃　and　he　laughs　on　his　pole；　and　clucks　down　a　bun。　　The　squealing　hyaenas　gnashed　their　teeth　and　laughed　at　us　quite　refreshingly　at　their　window；　and；　cold　as　it　was；　Tiger；　Tiger；　burning　bright；　glared　at　us　red…hot　through　his　bars；　and　snorted　blasts　of　hell。　　The　woolly　camel　leered　at　us　quite　kindly　as　he　paced　round　his　ring　on　his　silent　pads。　　We　went　to　our　favorite　places。　　Our　dear　wambat　came　up；　and　had　himself　scratched　very　affably。　　Our　fellow…creatures　in　the　monkey…room　held　out　their　little　black　hands；　and　piteously　asked　us　for　Christmas　alms。　Those　darling　alligators　on　their　rock　winked　at　us　in　the　most　friendly　way。　　The　solemn　eagles　sat　alone；　and　scowled　at　us　from　their　peaks；　whilst　little　Tom　Ratel　tumbled　over　head　and　heels　for　us　in　his　usual　diverting　manner。　　If　I　have　cares　in　my　mind；　I　come　to　the　Zoo；　and　fancy　they　don't　pass　the　gate。　　I　recognize　my　friends；　my　enemies；　in　countless　cages。　　I　entertained　the　eagle；　the　vulture；　the　old　billy…goat；　and　the　black…pated；　crimson…　necked；　blear…eyed；　baggy；　hook…beaked　old　marabou　stork　yesterday　at　dinner；　and　when　Bob's　aunt　came　to　tea　in　the　evening；　and　asked　him　what　he　had　seen；　he　stepped　up　to　her　gravely；　and　said

　　　　　〃First　I　saw　the　white　bear；　then　I　saw　the　black；　　　　　　　Then　I　saw　the　camel　with　a　hump　upon　his　back。　Chorus　of　children：　　　　　　　Then　I　saw　the　camel　with　a　HUMP　upon　his　back！　　　　　　　Then　I　saw　the　gray　wolf；　with　mutton　in　his　maw；　　　　　　　Then　I　saw　the　wambat　waddle　in　the　straw；　　　　　　　Then　I　saw　the　elephant　with　his　waving　trunk；　　　　　　　Then　I　saw　the　monkeysmercy；　how　unpleasantly　theysmelt！〃

There。　　No　one　can　beat　that　piece　of　wit；　can　he；　Bob？　　And　so　it　is　all　over；　but　we　had　a　jolly　time；　whilst　you　were　with　us；　hadn't　we？　　Present　my　respects　to　the　doctor；　and　I　hope；　my　boy；　we　may　spend　another　merry　Christmas　next　year。

ON　A　CHALK…MARK　ON　THE　DOOR

On　the　doorpost　of　the　house　of　a　friend　of　mine；　a　few　inches　above　the　lock；　is　a　little　chalk…mark　which　some　sportive　boy　in　passing　has　probably　scratched　on　the　pillar。　　The　door…steps；　the　lock；　handle；　and　so　forth；　are　kept　decently　enough；　but　this　chalk…mark；　I　suppose　some　three　inches　out　of　the　housemaid's　beat；　has　already　been　on　the　door　for　more　than　a　fortnight；　and　I　wonder　whether　it　will　be　there　whilst　this　paper　is　being　written；　whilst　it　is　at　the　printer's；　and；　in　fine；　until　the　month　passes　over？　　I　wonder　whether　the　servants　in　that　house　will　read　these　remarks　about　the　chalkmark？　　That　the　Cornhill　Magazine　is　taken　in　in　that　house　I　know。　　In　fact　I　have　seen　it　there。　　In　fact　I　have　read　it　there。　In　fact　I　have　written　it　there。　　In　a　word；　the　house　to　which　I　allude　is　minethe　〃editor's　private　residence；〃　to　which；　in　spite　of　prayers；　entreaties；　commands；　and　threats；　authors；　and　ladies　especially；　WILL　send　their　communications；　although　they　won't　understand　that　they　injure　their　own　interests　by　so　doing；　for　how　is　a　man　who　has　his　own　work　to　do；　his　own　exquisite　inventions　to　form　and　perfectMaria　to　rescue　from　the　unprincipled　Earlthe　atrocious　General　to　confound　in　his　own　machinationsthe　angelic　Dean　to　promote　to　a　bishopric；　and　so　forthhow　is　a　man　to　do　all　this；　under　a　hundred　interruptions；　and　keep　his　nerves　and　temper　in　that　just　and　equable　state　in　which　they　ought　to　be　when　he　comes　to　assume　the　critical　office？　　As　you　will　send　here；　ladies；　I　must　tell　you　you　have　a　much　worse　chance　than　if　you　forward　your　valuable　articles　to　Cornhill。　　Here　your　papers　arrive；　at　dinner…time；　we　will　say。　　Do　you　suppose　that　is　a　pleasant　period；　and　that　we　are　to　criticise　you　between　the　ovum　and　malum；　between　the　soup　and　the　dessert？　　I　have　touched；　I　think；　on　this　subject　before。　　I　say　again；　if　you　want　real　justice　shown　you；　don't　send　your　papers　to　the　private　residence。　　At　home；　for　instance；　yesterday；　having　given　strict　orders　that　I　was　to　receive　nobody；　〃except　on　business；〃　do　you　suppose　a　smiling　young　Scottish　gentleman；　who　forced　himself　into　my　study；　and　there　announced　himself　as　agent　of　a　Cattle…food　Company；　was　received　with　pleasure？　　There；　as　I　sat　in　my　arm…chair；　suppose　he　had　proposed　to　draw　a　couple　of　my　teeth；　would　I　have　been　pleased？　　I　could　have　throttled　that　agent。　　I　dare　say　the　whole　of　that　day's　work　will　be　found　tinged　with　a　ferocious　misanthropy；　occasioned　by　my　clever　young　friend's　intrusion。　　Cattle…food；　indeed！　　As　if　beans；　oats；　warm　mashes；　and　a　ball；　are　to　be　pushed　down　a　man's　throat　just　as　he　is　meditating　on　the　great　social　problem；　or　（for　I　think　it　was　my　epic　I　was　going　to　touch　up）　just　as　he　was　about　to　soar　to　the　height　of　the　empyrean！　Having　got　my　cattle…agent　out　of　the　door；　I　resume　my　consideration　of　that　little　mark　on　the　doorpost；　which　is　scored　up　as　the　text　of　the　present　little　sermon；　and　which　I　hope　will　relate；　not　to　chalk；　nor　to　any　of　its　special　uses　or　abuses　（such　as　milk；　neck…powder；　and　the　like）；　but　to　servants。　　Surely　ours　might　remove　that　unseemly　little　mark。　　Suppose　it　were　on　my　coat；　might　I　not　request　its　removal？　　I　remember；　when　I　was　at　school；　a　little　careless　boy；　upon　whose　forehead　an　ink…mark　remained；　and　was　perfectly　recognizable　for　three　weeks　after　its　first　appearance。　　May　I　take　any　notice　of　this　chalk…stain　on　the　forehead　of　my　house？　　Whose　business　is　it　to　wash　that　forehead？　and　ought　I　to　fetch　a　brush　and　a　little　hot　water；　and　wash　it　off　myself？　Yes。　　But　that　spot　removed；　why　not　come　down　at　six；　and　wash　the　doorsteps？　　I　dare　say　the　early　rising　and　exercise　would　do　me　a　great　deal　of　good。　　The　housemaid；　in　that　case；　might　lie　in　bed　a　little　later；　and　have　her　tea　and　the　morning　paper　brought　to　her　in　bed：　then；　of　course；　Thomas　would　expect　to　be　helped　about　the　boots　and　knives；　cook　about　the　saucepans；　dishes；　and　what　not；　the　lady's…maid　would　want　somebody　to　take　the　curl…papers　out　of　her　hair；　and　get　her　bath　ready。　　You　should　have　a　set　of　servants　for　the　servants；　and　these　under　servants　should　have　slaves　to　wait　on　them。　　The　king　commands　the　first　lord　in　waiting　to　desire　the　second　lord　to　intimate　to　the　gentleman　usher　to　request　the　page　of　the　ante…chamber　to　entreat　the　groom　of　the　stairs　to　implore　John　to　ask　the　captain　of　the　buttons　to　desire　the　maid　of　the　still…room　to　beg　the　housekeeper　to　give　out　a　few　more　lumps　of　sugar；　as　his　Majesty　has　none　for　his　coffee；　which　probably　is　getting　cold　during　the　negotiation。　　In　our　little　Brentfords　we　are　all　kings；　more　or　less。　　There　are　orders；　gradations；　hierarchies；　everywhere。　　In　your　house　and　mine　there　are　mysteries　unknown　to　us。　　I　am　not　going　in　to　the　horrid　old　question　of　〃followers。〃　　I　don't　mean　cousins　from　the　country；　love…stricken　policemen；　or　gentlemen　in　mufti　from　Knightsbridge　Barracks；　but　people　who　have　an　occult　right　on　the　premises；　the　uncovenanted　servants　of　the　house；　gray　women　who　are　seen　at　evening　with　baskets　flitting　about　area…railings；　dingy　shawls　which　drop　you　furtive　curtsies　in　your　neighborhood；　demure　little　Jacks；　who　start　up　from　behind　boxes　in　the　pantry。　　Those　outsiders　wear　Thomas's　crest　and　livery；　and　call　him　〃Sir；〃　th