roundabout papers-第38部分

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to　go　and　drive　on　the　great　quays；　and　see　the　ships　unlading；　and　by　the　citadel；　and　wonder　howabouts　and　whereabouts　it　was　so　strong。　　We　expect　a　citadel　to　look　like　Gibraltar　or　Ehrenbreitstein　at　least。　　But　in　this　one　there　is　nothing　to　see　but　a　flat　plain　and　some　ditches；　and　some　trees；　and　mounds　of　uninteresting　green。　　And　then　I　remember　how　there　was　a　boy　at　school；　a　little　dumpy　fellow　of　no　personal　appearance　whatever；　who　couldn't　be　overcome　except　by　a　much　bigger　champion；　and　the　immensest　quantity　of　thrashing。　　A　perfect　citadel　of　a　boy；　with　a　General　Chasse　sitting　in　that　bomb…proof　casemate；　his　heart；　letting　blow　after　blow　come　thumping　about　his　head；　and　never　thinking　of　giving　in。　And　we　go　home；　and　we　dine　in　the　company　of　Britons；　at　the　comfortable　Hotel　du　Parc；　and　we　have　bought　a　novel　apiece　for　a　shilling；　and　every　half…hour　the　sweet　carillon　plays　the　waltz　from　Dinorah　in　the　air。　　And　we　have　been　happy；　and　it　seems　about　a　month　since　we　left　London　yesterday；　and　nobody　knows　where　we　are；　and　we　defy　care　and　the　postman。

SPOORWEG。Vast　green　flats；　speckled　by　spotted　cows；　and　bound　by　a　gray　frontier　of　windmills；　shining　canals　stretching　through　the　green；　odors　like　those　exhaled　from　the　Thames　in　the　dog…days；　and　a　fine　pervading　smell　of　cheese；　little　trim　houses；　with　tall　roofs；　and　great　windows　of　many　panes；　gazebos；　or　summer…houses；　hanging　over　pea…green　canals；　kind…looking；　dumpling…faced　farmers'　women；　with　laced　caps　and　golden　frontlets　and　earrings；　about　the　houses　and　towns　which　we　pass　a　great　air　of　comfort　and　neatness；　a　queer　feeling　of　wonder　that　you　can't　understand　what　your　fellow…passengers　are　saying；　the　tone　of　whose　voices；　and　a　certain　comfortable　dowdiness　of　dress；　are　so　like　our　own；whilst　we　are　remarking　on　these　sights；　sounds；　smells；　the　little　railway　journey　from　Rotterdam　to　the　Hague　comes　to　an　end。　　I　speak　to　the　railway　porters　and　hackney　coachmen　in　English；　and　they　reply　in　their　own　language；　and　it　seems　somehow　as　if　we　understood　each　other　perfectly。　　The　carriage　drives　to　the　handsome；　comfortable；　cheerful　hotel。　　We　sit　down　a　score　at　the　table；　and　there　is　one　foreigner　and　his　wife；I　mean　every　other　man　and　woman　at　dinner　are　English。　　As　we　are　close　to　the　sea；　and　in　the　midst　of　endless　canals；　we　have　no　fish。　　We　are　reminded　of　dear　England　by　the　noble　prices　which　we　pay　for　wines。　　I　confess　I　lost　my　temper　yesterday　at　Rotterdam；　where　I　had　to　pay　a　florin　for　a　bottle　of　ale　（the　water　not　being　drinkable；　and　country　or　Bavarian　beer　not　being　genteel　enough　for　the　hotel）；I　confess；　I　say；　that　my　fine　temper　was　ruffled；　when　the　bottle　of　pale　ale　turned　out　to　be　a　pint　bottle；　and　I　meekly　told　the　waiter　that　I　had　bought　beer　at　Jerusalem　at　a　less　price。　　But　then　Rotterdam　is　eighteen　hours　from　London；　and　the　steamer　with　the　passengers　and　beer　comes　up　to　the　hotel　windows；　whilst　to　Jerusalem　they　have　to　carry　the　ale　on　camels'　backs　from　Beyrout　or　Jaffa；　and　through　hordes　of　marauding　Arabs；　who　evidently　don't　care　for　pale　ale；　though　I　am　told　it　is　not　forbidden　in　the　Koran。　　Mine　would　have　been　very　good；　but　I　choked　with　rage　whilst　drinking　it。　　A　florin　for　a　bottle；　and　that　bottle　having　the　words　〃imperial　pint；〃　in　bold　relief；　on　the　surface！　　It　was　too　much。　　I　intended　not　to　say　anything　about　it；　but　I　MUST　speak。　　A　florin　a　bottle；　and　that　bottle　a　pint！　　Oh；　for　shame！　for　shame！　　I　can't　cork　down　my　indignation；　I　froth　up　with　fury；　I　am　pale　with　wrath；　and　bitter　with　scorn。　As　we　drove　through　the　old　city　at　night；　how　it　swarmed　and　hummed　with　life！　　What　a　special　clatter；　crowd；　and　outcry　there　was　in　the　Jewish　quarter；　where　myriads　of　young　ones　were　trotting　about　the　fishy　street！　　Why　don't　they　have　lamps？　　We　passed　by　canals　seeming　so　full　that　a　pailful　of　water　more　would　overflow　the　place。　　The　laquais…de…place　calls　out　the　names　of　the　buildings：　the　town…hall；　the　cathedral；　the　arsenal；　the　synagogue；　the　statue　of　Erasmus。　　Get　along！　　WE　know　the　statue　of　Erasmus　well　enough。　We　pass　over　drawbridges　by　canals　where　thousands　of　barges　are　at　roost。　　At　roostat　rest！　　Shall　WE　have　rest　in　those　bedrooms；　those　ancient　lofty　bedrooms；　in　that　inn　where　we　have　to　pay　a　florin　for　a　pint　of　papsha！　at　the　〃New　Bath　Hotel〃　on　the　Boompjes？　　If　this　dreary　edifice　is　the　〃New　Bath；〃　what　must　the　Old　Bath　be　like？　　As　I　feared　to　go　to　bed；　I　sat　in　the　coffee…　room　as　long　as　I　might；　but　three　young　men　were　imparting　their　private　adventures　to　each　other　with　such　freedom　and　liveliness　that　I　felt　I　ought　not　to　listen　to　their　artless　prattle。　　As　I　put　the　light　out；　and　felt　the　bedclothes　and　darkness　overwhelm　me；　it　was　with　an　awful　sense　of　terrorthat　sort　of　sensation　which　I　should　think　going　down　in　a　diving…bell　would　give。　Suppose　the　apparatus　goes　wrong；　and　they　don't　understand　your　signal　to　mount？　　Suppose　your　matches　miss　fire　when　you　wake；　when　you　WANT　them；　when　you　will　have　to　rise　in　half　an　hour；　and　do　battle　with　the　horrid　enemy　who　crawls　on　you　in　the　darkness？　　I　protest　I　never　was　more　surprised　than　when　I　woke　and　beheld　the　light　of　dawn。　　Indian　birds　and　strange　trees　were　visible　on　the　ancient　gilt　hangings　of　the　lofty　chamber；　and　through　the　windows　the　Boompjes　and　the　ships　along　the　quay。　　We　have　all　read　of　deserters　being　brought　out；　and　made　to　kneel；　with　their　eyes　bandaged；　and　hearing　the　word　to　〃Fire〃　given　I　declare　I　underwent　all　the　terrors　of　execution　that　night；　and　wonder　how　I　ever　escaped　unwounded。　But　if　ever　I　go　to　the　〃Bath　Hotel；〃　Rotterdam；　again；　I　am　a　Dutchman。　　A　guilder　for　a　bottle　of　pale　ale；　and　that　bottle　a　pint！　　Ah！　for　shamefor　shame！

MINE　EASE　IN　MINE　INN。Do　you　object　to　talk　about　inns？　　It　always　seems　to　me　to　be　very　good　talk。　　Walter　Scott　is　full　of　inns。　　In　〃Don　Quixote〃　and　〃Gil　Blas〃　there　is　plenty　of　inn…talk。　　Sterne；　Fielding；　and　Smollett　constantly　speak　about　them；　and；　in　their　travels；　the　last　two　tot　up　the　bill；　and　describe　the　dinner　quite　honestly；　whilst　Mr。　Sterne　becomes　sentimental　over　a　cab；　and　weeps　generous　tears　over　a　donkey。　How　I　admire　and　wonder　at　the　information　in　Murray's　Handbooks　wonder　how　it　is　got；　and　admire　the　travellers　who　get　it。　　For　instance；　you　read：　Amiens　（please　select　your　towns）；　60；000　inhabitants。　　Hotels；　&c。〃Lion　d'Or；〃　good　and　clean。　　〃Le　Lion　d'Argent；〃　so　so。　　〃Le　Lion　Noir；〃　bad；　dirty；　and　dear。　　Now　say；　there　are　three　travellersthree　inn…inspectors；　who　are　sent　forth　by　Mr。　Murray　on　a　great　commission；　and　who　stop　at　every　inn　in　the　world。　　The　eldest　goes　to　the　〃Lion　d'Or〃capital　house；　good　table…d'hote；　excellent　wine；　moderate　charges。　　The　second　commissioner　tries　the　〃Silver　Lion〃tolerable　house；　bed；　dinner；　bill　and　so　forth。　　But　fancy　Commissioner　No。　3the　poor　fag；　doubtless；　and　boots　of　the　party。　　He　has　to　go　to　the　〃Lion　Noir。〃　He　knows　he　is　to　have　a　bad　dinnerhe　eats　it　uncomplainingly。　　He　is　to　have　bad　wine。　　He　swallows　it；　grinding　his　wretched　teeth；　and　aware　that　he　will　he　unwell　in　consequence。　　He　knows　he　is　to　have　a　dirty　bed；　and　what　he　is　to　expect　there。　　He　pops　out　the　candle。　　He　sinks　into　those　dingy　sheets。　　He　delivers　over　his　body　to　the　nightly　tormentors；　he　pays　an　exorbitant　bill；　and　he　writes　down；　〃Lion　Noir；　bad；　dirty；　dear。〃　　Next　day　the　commission　sets　out　for　Arras；　we　will　say；　and　they　begin　again：　〃Le　Cochon　d'Or；〃　〃Le　Cochon　d'Argent；〃　〃Le　Cochon　Noir〃and　that　is　poor　Boots's　inn；　of　course。　　What　a　life　that　poor　man　must　lead！　　What　horrors　of　dinners　he　has　to　go　through！　　What　a　hide　he　must　have！　And　yet　not　impervious；　for　unless　he　is　bitten；　how　is　he　to　be　able　to　warn　others？　　No：　on　second　thoughts；　you　will　perceive　that　he　ought　to　have　a　very　delicate　skin。　　The　monsters　ought　to　troop　to　him　eagerly；　and　bite　him　instantaneously　and　freely；　so　that　he　may　be　able　to　warn　all　future　handbook　buyers　of　their　danger。　　I　fancy　this　man　devoting　himself　to　danger；　to　dirt；　to　bad　dinners；　to　sour　wine；　to　damp　beds；　to　midnight　agonies；　to　extortionate　bills。　　I　admire　him；　I　thank　him。　　Think　of　this　champion；　who　devotes　his　body　for　usthis　dauntless　gladiator　going　to　do　battle　alone　in　the　darkness；　with　no　other　armor　than　a　light　helmet　of　cotton；　and　a　lorica　of　calico。　　I　pity　and　honor　him。　　Go；　Spartacus！　　Go；　devoted　manto　bleed；　to　groan；　to　sufferand　smile　in　silence　as　the　wild　beasts　assail　thee！　How　did　I　come　into　this　talk？　　I　protest　it　was　the　word　inn　set　me　offand　here　is　one；　the　〃Hotel　de　Belle　Vue；〃　at　the　Hague；　as　comfortable；　as　handsome；　as　cheerful　as　any　I　ever　took　mine　ease　in。　　And　the　Bavarian　beer；　my　dear　friend；　how　good　and　brisk　and　light　it　is！　　Take　another　glassit　refreshes　and　does　not　stupefy　and　then　we　will　sally　out；　and　see　the　town　and　the　park　and　the　pictures。　The　prettiest　little　brick　city；　the　pleasantest　little　park　to　ride　in；　the　neatest　comfortable　people　walking　about；　the　canals　not　unsweet；　and　busy　and　picturesque　with　old…world　life。　　Rows　upon　rows　of　houses；　built　with　the　neatest　little　bricks；　with　windows　fresh　painted；　and　tall　doors　polished；　and　carved　to　a　nicety。　What　a　pleasant　spacious　garden　our　inn　has；　all　sparkling　with　autumn　flowers　and　bedizened　with　statues！　　At　the　end　is　a　row　of　trees；　and　a　summer…house；　over　the　canal；　where　you　might　go　and　smoke　a　pipe　with　Mynheer　Van　Dunck；　and　quite　cheerfully　catch　the　ague。　　Yesterday；　as　we　passed；　they　were　making　hay；　and　stacking　it　in　a　barge　which　was　lying　by　the　meadow；　handy。　　Round　about　Kensington　Palace　there　are　houses；　roofs；　chimneys；　and　bricks　like　these。　　I　feel　that　a　Dutchman　is　a　man　and　a　brother。　　It　is　very　funny　to　read　the　newspaper；　one　can　understand　it　somehow。　　Sure　it　is　the　neatest；　gayest　little　cityscores　and　hundreds　of　mansions　looking　like　Cheyne　Walk；　or　the　ladies'　schools　about　Chiswick　and　Hackney。

LE　GROS　LOT。To　a　few　lucky　men　the　chance　befalls　of　reaching　fame　at　once；　and　（if　it　is　of　any　profit　morituro）　retaining　the　admiration　of　the　world。　　Did　poor　Oliver；　when　he　was　at　Le