roundabout papers-第64部分

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


　those　beings　are　not　what　I　take　them　to　be；　andfor　a　fortuneI　won't　give　them　so　much　as　a　bad　half…crown。　Is　conscious　guilt　a　source　of　unmixed　pain　to　the　bosom　which　harbors　it？　　Has　not　your　criminal；　on　the　contrary；　an　excitement；　an　enjoyment　within　quite　unknown　to　you　and　me　who　never　did　anything　wrong　in　our　lives？　　The　housebreaker　must　snatch　a　fearful　joy　as　he　walks　unchallenged　by　the　policeman　with　his　sack　full　of　spoons　and　tankards。　　Do　not　cracksmen；　when　assembled　together；　entertain　themselves　with　stories　of　glorious　old　burglaries　which　they　or　bygone　heroes　have　committed？　　But　that　my　age　is　mature　and　my　habits　formed；　I　should　really　just　like　to　try　a　little　criminality。　　Fancy　passing　a　forged　bill　to　your　banker；　calling　on　a　friend　and　sweeping　his　sideboard　of　plate；　his　hall　of　umbrellas　and　coats；　and　then　going　home　to　dress　for　dinner；　sayand　to　meet　a　bishop；　a　judge；　and　a　police　magistrate　or　so；　and　talk　more　morally　than　any　man　at　table！　　How　I　should　chuckle　（as　my　host's　spoons　clinked　softly　in　my　pocket）　whilst　I　was　uttering　some　noble　speech　about　virtue；　duty；　charity！　　I　wonder　do　we　meet　garroters　in　society？　　In　an　average　tea…party；　now；　how　many　returned　convicts　are　there？　　Does　John　Footman；　when　he　asks　permission　to　go　and　spend　the　evening　with　some　friends；　pass　his　time　in　thuggee；　waylay　and　strangle　an　old　gentleman；　or　two；　let　himself　into　your　house；　with　the　house…key　of　course；　and　appear　as　usual　with　the　shaving…water　when　you　ring　your　bell　in　the　morning？　　The　very　possibility　of　such　a　suspicion　invests　John　with　a　new　and　romantic　interest　in　my　mind。　　Behind　the　grave　politeness　of　his　countenance　I　try　and　read　the　lurking　treason。　　Full　of　this　pleasing　subject；　I　have　been　talking　thief…stories　with　a　neighbor。　The　neighbor　tells　me　how　some　friends　of　hers　used　to　keep　a　jewel…　box　under　a　bed　in　their　room；　and；　going　into　the　room；　they　thought　they　heard　a　noise　under　the　bed。　　They　had　the　courage　to　look。　　The　cook　was　under　the　bedunder　the　bed　with　the　jewel…box。　Of　course　she　said　she　had　come　for　purposes　connected　with　her　business；　but　this　was　absurd。　　A　cook　under　a　bed　is　not　there　for　professional　purposes。　　A　relation　of　mine　had　a　box　containing　diamonds　under　her　bed；　which　diamonds　she　told　me　were　to　be　mine。　Mine！　　One　day；　at　dinner…time；　between　the　entrees　and　the　roast；　a　cab　drove　away　from　my　relative's　house　containing　the　box　wherein　lay　the　diamonds。　　John　laid　the　dessert；　brought　the　coffee；　waited　all　the　eveningand　oh；　how　frightened　he　was　when　he　came　to　learn　that　his　mistress's　box　had　been　conveyed　out　of　her　own　room；　and　it　contained　diamonds〃Law　bless　us；　did　it　now？〃　　I　wonder　whether　John's　subsequent　career　has　been　prosperous？　　Perhaps　the　gentlemen　from　Bow　Street　were　all　in　the　wrong　when　they　agreed　in　suspecting　John　as　the　author　of　the　robbery。　　His　noble　nature　was　hurt　at　the　suspicion。　　You　conceive　he　would　not　like　to　remain　in　a　family　where　they　were　mean　enough　to　suspect　him　of　stealing　a　jewel…box　out　of　a　bedroomand　the　injured　man　and　my　relatives　soon　parted。　But；　inclining　（with　my　usual　cynicism）　to　think　that　he　did　steal　the　valuables；　think　of　his　life　for　the　month　or　two　whilst　he　still　remains　in　the　service！　　He　shows　the　officers　over　the　house；　agrees　with　them　that　the　coup　must　have　been　made　by　persons　familiar　with　it；　gives　them　every　assistance；　pities　his　master　and　mistress　with　a　manly　compassion；　points　out　what　a　cruel　misfortune　it　is　to　himself　as　an　honest　man；　with　his　living　to　get　and　his　family　to　provide　for；　that　this　suspicion　should　fall　on　him。　Finally　he　takes　leave　of　his　place；　with　a　deep；　though　natural　melancholy　that　ever　he　had　accepted　it。　　What's　a　thousand　pounds　to　gentle…folks！　　A　loss；　certainly；　but　they　will　live　as　well　without　the　diamonds　as　with　them。　　But　to　John　his　Hhhonor　was　worth　more　than　diamonds；　his　Hhonor　was。　　Whohever　is　to　give　him　back　his　character？　　Who　is　to　prevent　hany　one　from　saying；　〃Ho　yes。　　This　is　the　footman　which　was　in　the　family　where　the　diamonds　was　stole？〃　&c。　I　wonder　has　John　prospered　in　life　subsequently？　　If　he　is　innocent　he　does　not　interest　me　in　the　least。　　The　interest　of　the　case　lies　in　John's　behavior　supposing　him　to　be　guilty。　　Imagine　the　smiling　face；　the　daily　service；　the　orderly　performance　of　duty；　whilst　within　John　is　suffering　pangs　lest　discovery　should　overtake　him。　Every　bell　of　the　door　which　he　is　obliged　to　open　may　bring　a　police　officer。　　The　accomplices　may　peach。　　What　an　exciting　life　John's　must　have　been　for　a　while。　　And　now；　years　and　years　after；　when　pursuit　has　long　ceased；　and　detection　is　impossible；　does　he　ever　revert　to　the　little　transaction？　　Is　it　possible　those　diamonds　cost　a　thousand　pounds？　　What　a　rogue　the　fence　must　have　been　who　only　gave　him　so　and　so！　　And　I　pleasingly　picture　to　myself　an　old　ex…footman　and　an　ancient　receiver　of　stolen　goods　meeting　and　talking　over　this　matter；　which　dates　from　times　so　early　that　her　present　Majesty's　fair　image　could　only　just　have　begun　to　be　coined　or　forged。　I　choose　to　take　John　at　the　time　when　his　little　peccadillo　is　suspected；　perhaps；　but　when　there　is　no　specific　charge　of　robbery　against　him。　　He　is　not　yet　convicted：　he　is　not　even　on　his　trial；　how　then　can　we　venture　to　say　he　is　guilty？　　Now　think　what　scores　of　men　and　women　walk　the　world　in　a　like　predicament；　and　what　false　coin　passes　current！　　Pinchbeck　strives　to　pass　off　his　history　as　sound　coin。　　He　knows　it　is　only　base　metal；　washed　over　with　a　thin　varnish　of　learning。　　Poluphloisbos　puts　his　sermons　in　circulation：　sounding　brass；　lacquered　over　with　white　metal；　and　marked　with　the　stamp　and　image　of　piety。　　What　say　you　to　Drawcansir's　reputation　as　a　military　commander？　to　Tibbs's　pretensions　to　be　a　fine　gentleman？　to　Sapphira's　claims　as　a　poetess；　or　Rodoessa's　as　a　beauty？　　His　bravery；　his　piety；　high　birth；　genius；　beautyeach　of　these　deceivers　would　palm　his　falsehood　on　us；　and　have　us　accept　his　forgeries　as　sterling　coin。　And　we　talk　here；　please　to　observe；　of　weaknesses　rather　than　crimes。　　Some　of　us　have　more　serious　things　to　hide　than　a　yellow　cheek　behind　a　raddle　of　rouge；　or　a　white　poll　under　a　wig　of　jetty　curls。　　You　know；　neighbor；　there　are　not　only　false　teeth　in　this　world；　but　false　tongues：　and　some　make　up　a　bust　and　an　appearance　of　strength　with　padding；　cotton；　and　what　not？　while　another　kind　of　artist　tries　to　take　you　in　by　wearing　under　his　waistcoat；　and　perpetually　thumping；　an　immense　sham　heart。　　Dear　sir；　may　yours　and　mine　be　found；　at　the　right　time；　of　the　proper　size　and　in　the　right　place。　And　what　has　this　to　do　with　half…crowns；　good　or　bad？　　Ah；　friend！　may　our　coin；　battered；　and　clipped；　and　defaced　though　it　be；　be　proved　to　be　Sterling　Silver　on　the　day　of　the　Great　Assay！

〃STRANGE　TO　SAY；　ON　CLUB　PAPER。〃

Before　the　Duke　of　York's　column；　and　between　the　〃Athenaeum〃　and　〃United　Service〃　Clubs；　I　have　seen　more　than　once；　on　the　esplanade；　a　preacher　holding　forth　to　a　little　congregation　of　badauds　and　street…boys；　whom　he　entertains　with　a　discourse　on　the　crimes　of　a　rapacious　aristocracy；　or　warns　of　the　imminent　peril　of　their　own　souls。　　Sometimes　this　orator　is　made　to　〃move　on〃　by　brutal　policemen。　　Sometimes；　on　a　Sunday；　he　points　to　a　white　head　or　two　visible　in　the　windows　of　the　Clubs　to　the　right　and　left　of　him；　and　volunteers　a　statement　that　those　quiet　and　elderly　Sabbath…breakers　will　very　soon　be　called　from　this　world　to　another；　where　their　lot　will　by　no　means　be　so　comfortable　as　that　which　the　reprobates　enjoy　here；　in　their　arm…chairs　by　their　snug　fires。　At　the　end　of　last　month；　had　I　been　a　Pall　Mall　preacher；　I　would　have　liked　to　send　a　whip　round　to　all　the　Clubs　in　St。　James's；　and　convoke　the　few　members　remaining　in　London　to　hear　a　discourse　sub　Dio　on　a　text　from　the　Observer　newspaper。　　I　would　have　taken　post　under　the　statue　of　Fame；　say；　where　she　stands　distributing　wreaths　to　the　three　Crimean　Guardsmen。　　（The　crossing…sweeper　does　not　obstruct　the　path；　and　I　suppose　is　away　at　his　villa　on　Sundays。）　And；　when　the　congregation　was　pretty　quiet；　I　would　have　begun：　In　the　Observer　of　the　27th　September；　1863；　in　the　fifth　page　and　the　fourth　column；　it　is　thus　written：　〃The　codicil　appended　to　the　will　of　the　late　Lord　Clyde；　executed　at　Chatham；　and　bearing　the　signature　of　Clyde；　F。　M。；　is　written；　strange　to　say；　on　a　sheet　of　paper　BEARING　THE　'ATHENAEUM　CLUB'　MARK。〃　What　the　codicil　is；　my　dear　brethren；　it　is　not　our　business　to　inquire。　　It　conveys　a　benefaction　to　a　faithful　and　attached　friend　of　the　good　Field…Marshal。　　The　gift　may　be　a　lakh　of　rupees；　or　it　may　be　a　house　and　its　contentsfurniture；　plate；　and　wine…cellar。　My　friends；　I　know　the　wine…merchant；　and；　for　the　sake　of　the　legatee；　hope　heartily　that　the　stock　is　large。　Am　I　wrong；　dear　brethren；　in　supposing　that　you　expect　a　preacher　to　say　a　seasonable　word　on　death　here？　　If　you　don't；　I　fear　you　are　but　little　familiar　with　the　habits　of　preachers；　and　are　but　lax　hearers　of　sermons。　　We　might　contrast　the　vault　where　the　warrior's　remains　lie　shrouded　and　coffined；　with　that　in　which　his　worldly　provision　of　wine　is　stowed　away。　　Spain　and　Portugal　and　Franceall　the　lands　which　supplied　his　storeas　hardy　and　obedient　subaltern；　as　resolute　captain；　as　colonel　daring　but　prudenthe　has　visited　the　fields　of　all。　　In　India　and　China　he　marches　always　unconquered；　or　at　the　head　of　his　dauntless　Highland　brigade　he　treads　the　Crimean　snow；　or　he　rides　from　conquest　to　conquest　in　India　once　more；　succoring　his　countrymen　in　the　hour　of　their　utmost　need；　smiting　down　the　scared　mutiny；　and　trampling　out　the　embers　of　rebellion；　at　the　head　of　an　heroic　army；　a　consummate　chief。　　And　now　his　glorious　old　sword　is　sheathed；　and　his　honors　are　won：　and　he　has　bought　him　a　house；　and　stored　it　with　modest　cheer　for　his　friends　（the　good　old　man　put　water　in　his　own　wine；　and　a　glass　or　two　sufficed　him）behold　the　end　comes；　and　his　legatee　inherits　these　modest　possessions　by　virtue　of　a　codicil　to　his　lordship's　will；　written；　〃strange　to　say；　upon　a　sheet　of