anecdotes of the late samuel johnson-第11部分
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With advising others to be charitable; however; Dr。 Johnson did not content himself。 He gave away all he had; and all he ever had gotten; except the two thousand pounds he left behind; and the very small portion of his income which he spent on himself; with all our calculation; we never could make more than seventy; or at most four…score pounds a year; and he pretended to allow himself a hundred。 He had numberless dependents out of doors as well as in; who; as he expressed it; 〃did not like to see him latterly unless he brought 'em money。〃 For those people he used frequently to raise contributions on his richer friends; 〃and this;〃 says he; 〃is one of the thousand reasons which ought to restrain a man from drony solitude and useless retirement。 Solitude;〃 added he one day; 〃is dangerous to reason; without being favourable to virtue: pleasures of some sort are necessary to the intellectual as to the corporeal health; and those who resist gaiety will be likely for the most part to fall a sacrifice to appetite; for the solicitations of sense are always at hand; and a dram to a vacant and solitary person is a speedy and seducing relief。 Remember;〃 concluded he; 〃that the solitary mortal is certainly luxurious; probably superstitious; and possibly mad: the mind stagnates for want of employment; grows morbid; and is extinguished like a candle in foul air。〃 It was on this principle that Johnson encouraged parents to carry their daughters early and much into company: 〃for what harm can be done before so many witnesses? Solitude is the surest nurse of all prurient passions; and a girl in the hurry of preparation; or tumult of gaiety; has neither inclination nor leisure to let tender expressions soften or sink into her heart。 The ball; the show; are not the dangerous places: no; it is the private friend; the kind consoler; the companion of the easy; vacant hour; whose compliance with her opinions can flatter her vanity; and whose conversation can just soothe; without ever stretching her mind; that is the lover to be feared。 He who buzzes in her ear at court or at the opera must be contented to buzz in vain。〃 These notions Dr。 Johnson carried so very far; that I have heard him say; 〃If you shut up any man with any woman; so as to make them derive their whole pleasure from each other; they would inevitably fall in love; as it is called; with each other; but at six months' end; if you would throw them both into public life; where they might change partners at pleasure; each would soon forget that fondness which mutual dependence and the paucity of general amusement alone had caused; and each would separately feel delighted by their release。〃
In these opinions Rousseau apparently concurs with him exactly; and Mr。 Whitehead's poem; called 〃Variety;〃 is written solely to elucidate this simple proposition。 Prior likewise advises the husband to send his wife abroad; and let her see the world as it really stands:
〃Powder; and pocket…glass; and beau。〃
Mr。 Johnson was indeed unjustly supposed to be a lover of singularity。 Few people had a more settled reverence for the world than he; or was less captivated by new modes of behaviour introduced; or innovations on the long…received customs of common life。 He hated the way of leaving a company without taking notice to the lady of the house that he was going; and did not much like any of the contrivances by which ease had lately been introduced into society instead of ceremony; which had more of his approbation。 Cards; dress; and dancing; however; all found their advocate in Dr。 Johnson; who inculcated; upon principle; the cultivation of those arts which many a moralist thinks himself bound to reject; and many a Christian holds unfit to be practised。 〃No person;〃 said he one day; 〃goes under…dressed till he thinks himself of consequence enough to forbear carrying the badge of his rank upon his back。〃 And in answer to the arguments urged by Puritans; Quakers; etc。; against showy decorations of the human figure; I once heard him exclaim; 〃Oh; let us not be found; when our Master calls us; ripping the lace off our waistcoats; but the spirit of contention from our souls and tongues! Let us all conform in outward customs; which are of no consequence; to the manners of those whom we live among; and despise such paltry distinctions。 Alas; sir!〃 continued he; 〃a man who cannot get to heaven in a green coat; will not find his way thither sooner in a grey one。〃 On an occasion of less consequence; when he turned his back on Lord Bolingbroke in the rooms at Brighthelmstone; he made this excuse; 〃I am not obliged; sir;〃 said he to Mr。 Thrale; who stood fretting; 〃to find reasons for respecting the rank of him who will not condescend to declare it by his dress or some other visible mark。 What are stars and other signs of superiority made for?〃
The next evening; however; he made us comical amends; by sitting by the same nobleman; and haranguing very loudly about the nature and use and abuse of divorces。 Many people gathered round them to hear what was said; and when my husband called him away; and told him to whom he had been talking; received an answer which I will not write down。
Though no man; perhaps; made such rough replies as Dr。 Johnson; yet nobody had a more just aversion to general satire; he always hated and censured Swift for his unprovoked bitterness against the professors of medicine; and used to challenge his friends; when they lamented the exorbitancy of physicians' fees; to produce him one instance of an estate raised by physic in England。 When an acquaintance; too; was one day exclaiming against the tediousness of the law and its partiality: 〃Let us hear; sir;〃 said Johnson; 〃no general abuse; the law is the last result of human wisdom acting upon human experience for the benefit of the public。〃
As the mind of Dr。 Johnson was greatly expanded; so his first care was for general; not particular or petty morality; and those teachers had more of his blame than praise; I think; who seek to oppress life with unnecessary scruples。 〃Scruples would;〃 as he observed; 〃certainly make men miserable; and seldom make them good。 Let us ever;〃 he said; 〃studiously fly from those instructors against whom our Saviour denounces heavy judgments; for having bound up burdens grievous to be borne; and laid them on the shoulders of mortal men。〃 No one had; however; higher notions of the hard task of true Christianity than Johnson; whose daily terror lest he had not done enough; originated in piety; but ended in little less than disease。 Reasonable with regard to others; he had formed vain hopes of performing impossibilities himself; and finding his good works ever below his desires and intent; filled his imagination with fears that he should never obtain forgiveness for omissions of duty and criminal waste of time。 These ideas kept him in constant anxiety concerning his salvation; and the vehement petitions he perpetually made for a longer continuance on earth; were doubtless the cause of his so prolonged existence: for when I carried Dr。 Pepys to him in the year 1782; it appeared wholly impossible for any skill of the physician or any strength of the patient to save him。 He was saved that time; however; by Sir Lucas's prescriptions; and less skill on one side; or less strength on the other; I am morally certain; would not have been enough。 He had; however; possessed an athletic constitution; as he said the man who dipped people in the sea at Brighthelmstone acknowledged; for seeing Mr。 Johnson swim; in the year 1766; 〃Why; sir;〃 says the dipper; 〃you must have been a stout…hearted gentleman forty years ago。〃
Mr。 Thrale and he used to laugh about that story very often: but Garrick told a better; for he said that in their young days; when some strolling players came to Lichfield; our friend had fixed his place upon the stage; and got himself a chair accordingly; which leaving for a few minutes; he found a man in it at his return; who refused to give it back at the first entreaty。 Mr。 Johnson; however; who did not think it worth his while to make a second; took chair and man and all together; and threw them all at once into the pit。 I asked the Doctor if this was a fact。 〃Garrick has not SPOILED it in the telling;〃 said he; 〃it is very NEAR true; to be sure。〃
Mr。 Beauclerc; too; related one day how on some occasion he ordered two large mastiffs into his parlour; to show a friend who was conversant in canine beauty and excellence how the dogs quarrelled; and fastening on each other; alarmed all the company except Johnson; who seizing one in one hand by the cuff of the neck; the other in the other hand; said gravely; 〃Come; gentlemen! where's your difficulty? put one dog out at the door; and I will show this fierce gentleman the way out of the window:〃 which; lifting up the mastiff and the sash; he contrived to do very expeditiously; and much to the satisfaction of the affrighted company。 We inquired as to the truth of this curious recital。 〃The dogs have been somewhat magnified; I believe; sir;〃 was the reply: 〃they were; as I remember; two stout young pointers; but the story has gained but little。〃
One reason why Mr。 Johnson's memory was so particularly exact; might be derived from his rigid attention to veracity; being always resolved to relate every fact as it stood; he looked even on the smaller parts of life with minute attention; and remembered such passages as escape cursory and common observers。 〃A story;〃 says he; 〃is a specimen of human manners; and derives its sole value from its truth。 When Foote has told me something; I dismiss it from my mind like a passing shadow: when Reynolds tells me something; I consider myself as possessed of an idea the more。〃
Mr。 Johnson liked a frolic or a jest well enough; though he had strange serious rules about it too: and very angry was he if anybody offered to be merry when he was disposed to be grave。 〃You have an ill…founded notion;〃 said he; 〃that it is clever to turn matters off with a joke (as the phrase is); whereas nothing produces enmity so certain as one persons showing a disposition to be merry when another is inclined to be either serious or displeased。〃
One may gather from this how he felt when his I