anecdotes of the late samuel johnson-第14部分

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


s　that　concerned　his　health；　it　grew　extremely　perplexing　and　difficult　to　live　in　the　house　with　him　when　the　master　of　it　was　no　more；　the　worse；　indeed；　because　his　dislikes　grew　capricious；　and　he　could　scarce　bear　to　have　anybody　come　to　the　house　whom　it　was　absolutely　necessary　for　me　to　see。　　Two　gentlemen；　I　perfectly　well　remember；　dining　with　us　at　Streatham　in　the　summer；　1782；　when　Elliot's　brave　defence　of　Gibraltar　was　a　subject　of　common　discourse；　one　of　these　men　naturally　enough　began　some　talk　about　red…hot　balls　thrown　with　surprising　dexterity　and　effect；　which　Dr。　Johnson　having　listened　some　time　to；　〃I　would　advise　you；　sir；〃　said　he；　with　a　cold　sneer；　〃never　to　relate　this　story　again；　you　really　can　scarce　imagine　how　VERY　POOR　a　figure　you　make　in　the　telling　of　it。〃　　Our　guest　being　bred　a　Quaker；　and；　I　believe；　a　man　of　an　extremely　gentle　disposition；　needed　no　more　reproofs　for　the　same　folly；　so　if　he　ever　did　speak　again；　it　was　in　a　low　voice　to　the　friend　who　came　with　him。　　The　check　was　given　before　dinner；　and　after　coffee　I　left　the　room。　　When　in　the　evening；　however；　our　companions　were　returned　to　London；　and　Mr。　Johnson　and　myself　were　left　alone；　with　only　our　usual　family　about　us；　〃I　did　not　quarrel　with　those　Quaker　fellows；〃　said　he；　very　seriously。　　〃You　did　perfectly　right；〃　replied　I；　〃for　they　gave　you　no　cause　of　offence。〃　　〃No　offence！〃　　returned　he；　with　an　altered　voice；　〃and　is　it　nothing；　then；　to　sit　whispering　together　when　_I_　am　present；　without　ever　directing　their　discourse　towards　me；　or　offering　me　a　share　in　the　conversation？〃　　〃That　was　because　you　frighted　him　who　spoke　first　about　those　hot　balls。〃　　〃Why；　madam；　if　a　creature　is　neither　capable　of　giving　dignity　to　falsehood；　nor　willing　to　remain　contented　with　the　truth；　he　deserves　no　better　treatment。〃

Mr。　Johnson's　fixed　incredulity　of　everything　he　heard；　and　his　little　care　to　conceal　that　incredulity；　was　teasing　enough；　to　be　sure；　and　I　saw　Mr。　Sharp　was　pained　exceedingly　when　relating　the　history　of　a　hurricane　that　happened　about　that　time　in　the　West　Indies；　where；　for　aught　I　know；　he　had　himself　lost　some　friends　too；　he　observed　Dr。　Johnson　believed　not　a　syllable　of　the　account。　　〃For　'tis　SO　easy；〃　says　he；　〃for　a　man　to　fill　his　mouth　with　a　wonder；　and　run　about　telling　the　lie　before　it　can　be　detected；　that　I　have　no　heart　to　believe　hurricanes　easily　raised　by　the　first　inventor；　and　blown　forwards　by　thousands　more。〃　　I　asked　him　once　if　he　believed　the　story　of　the　destruction　of　Lisbon　by　an　earthquake　when　it　first　happened。　　〃Oh！　not　for　six　months；〃　said　he；　〃at　least。　　I　DID　think　that　story　too　dreadful　to　be　credited；　and　can　hardly　yet　persuade　myself　that　it　was　true　to　the　full　extent　we　all　of　us　have　heard。〃

Among　the　numberless　people；　however；　whom　I　heard　him　grossly　and　flatly　contradict；　I　never　yet　saw　any　one　who　did　not　take　it　patiently　excepting　Dr。　Burney；　from　whose　habitual　softness　of　manners　I　little　expected　such　an　exertion　of　spirit；　the　event　was　as　little　to　be　expected。　　Mr。　Johnson　asked　his　pardon　generously　and　genteelly；　and　when　he　left　the　room；　rose　up　to　shake　hands　with　him；　that　they　might　part　in　peace。　　On　another　occasion；　when　he　had　violently　provoked　Mr。　Pepys；　in　a　different　but　perhaps　not　a　less　offensive　manner；　till　something　much　too　like　a　quarrel　was　grown　up　between　them；　the　moment　he　was　gone；　〃Now；〃　says　Dr。　Johnson；　〃is　Pepys　gone　home　hating　me；　who　love　him　better　than　I　did　before。　　He　spoke　in　defence　of　his　dead　friend；　but　though　I　hope　_I_　spoke　better　who　spoke　against　him；　yet　all　my　eloquence　will　gain　me　nothing　but　an　honest　man　for　my　enemy！〃　　He　did　not；　however；　cordially　love　Mr。　Pepys；　though　he　respected　his　abilities。　　〃I　know　the　dog　was　a　scholar；〃　said　he　when　they　had　been　disputing　about　the　classics　for　three　hours　together　one　morning　at　Streatham；　〃but　that　he　had　so　much　taste　and　so　much　knowledge　I　did　NOT　believe。　　I　might　have　taken　Barnard's　word　though；　for　Barnard　would　not　lie。〃

We　had　got　a　little　French　print　among　us　at　Brighthelmstone；　in　November；　1782；　of　some　people　skating；　with　these　lines　written　under：

　　　　　〃Sur　un　mince　chrystal　l'hyver　conduit　leurs　pas；　　　　　　　　　Le　precipice　est　sous　la　glace；　　　　　　　Telle　est　de　nos　plaisirs　la　legere　surface；　　　　　　　　　Glissez　mortels；　n'appayez　pas。〃

And　I　begged　translation　from　everybody。　　Dr。　Johnson　gave　me　this：

　　　　　〃O'er　ice　the　rapid　skater　flies；　　　　　　　　　With　sport　above　and　death　below；　　　　　　　Where　mischief　lurks　in　gay　disguise；　　　　　　　　　Thus　lightly　touch　and　quickly　go。〃

He　was；　however；　most　exceedingly　enraged　when　he　knew　that　in　the　course　of　the　season　I　had　asked　half…a…dozen　acquaintance　to　do　the　same　thing；　and　said；　〃it　was　a　piece　of　treachery；　and　done　to　make　everybody　else　look　little　when　compared　to　my　favourite　friends　the　PEPYSES；　whose　translations　were　unquestionably　the　best。〃　　I　will　insert　them；　because　he　DID　say　so。　　This　is　the　distich　given　me　by　Sir　Lucas；　to　whom　I　owe　more　solid　obligations；　no　less　than　the　power　of　thanking　him　for　the　life　he　saved；　and　whose　least　valuable　praise　is　the　correctness　of　his　taste：

　　　　　〃O'er　the　ice　as　o'er　pleasure　you　lightly　should　glide；　　　　　　　Both　have　gulfs　which　their　flattering　surfaces　hide。〃

This　other　more　serious　one　was　written　by　his　brother：

　　　　　〃Swift　o'er　the　level　how　the　skaters　slide；　　　　　　　　　And　skim　the　glitt'ring　surface　as　they　go：　　　　　　　Thus　o'er　life's　specious　pleasures　lightly　glide；　　　　　　　　　But　pause　not；　press　not　on　the　gulf　below。〃

Dr。　Johnson　seeing　this　last；　and　thinking　a　moment；　repeated：

　　　　　〃O'er　crackling　ice；　o'er　gulfs　profound；　　　　　　　　　With　nimble　glide　the　skaters　play；　　　　　　　O'er　treacherous　pleasure's　flow'ry　ground　　　　　　　　　Thus　lightly　skim；　and　haste　away。〃

Though　thus　uncommonly　ready　both　to　give　and　take　offence；　Mr。　Johnson　had　many　rigid　maxims　concerning　the　necessity　of　continued　softness　and　compliance　of　disposition：　　and　when　I　once　mentioned　Shenstone's　idea　that　some　little　quarrel　among　lovers；　relations；　and　friends　was　useful；　and　contributed　to　their　general　happiness　upon　the　whole；　by　making　the　soul　feel　her　elastic　force；　and　return　to　the　beloved　object　with　renewed　delight：　　〃Why；　what　a　pernicious　maxim　is　this　now；〃　cries　Johnson；　〃ALL　quarrels　ought　to　be　avoided　studiously；　particularly　conjugal　ones；　as　no　one　can　possibly　tell　where　they　may　end；　besides　that　lasting　dislike　is　often　the　consequence　of　occasional　disgust；　and　that　the　cup　of　life　is　surely　bitter　enough　without　squeezing　in　the　hateful　rind　of　resentment。〃　It　was　upon　something　like　the　same　principle；　and　from　his　general　hatred　of　refinement；　that　when　I　told　him　how　Dr。　Collier；　in　order　to　keep　the　servants　in　humour　with　his　favourite　dog；　by　seeming　rough　with　the　animal　himself　on　many　occasions；　and　crying　out；　〃Why　will　nobody　knock　this　cur's　brains　out？〃　meant　to　conciliate　their　tenderness　towards　Pompey；　he　returned　me　for　answer；　〃that　the　maxim　was　evidently　false；　and　founded　on　ignorance　of　human　life：　　that　the　servants　would　kick　the　dog　sooner　for　having　obtained　such　a　sanction　to　their　severity。　　And　I　once；〃　added　he；　〃chid　my　wife　for　beating　the　cat　before　the　maid；　who　will　now；〃　said　I；　〃treat　puss　with　cruelty；　perhaps；　and　plead　her　mistress's　example。〃

I　asked　him　upon　this　if　he　ever　disputed　with　his　wife？　　（I　had　heard　that　he　loved　her　passionately。）　　〃Perpetually；〃　said　he：　　〃my　wife　had　a　particular　reverence　for　cleanliness；　and　desired　the　praise　of　neatness　in　her　dress　and　furniture；　as　many　ladies　do；　till　they　become　troublesome　to　their　best　friends；　slaves　to　their　own　besoms；　and　only　sigh　for　the　hour　of　sweeping　their　husbands　out　of　the　house　as　dirt　and　useless　lumber。　　'A　clean　floor　is　SO　comfortable；'　she　would　say　sometimes；　by　way　of　twitting；　till　at　last　I　told　her　that　I　thought　we　had　had　talk　enough　about　the　FLOOR；　we　would　now　have　a　touch　at　the　CEILING。〃

On　another　occasion　I　have　heard　him　blame　her　for　a　fault　many　people　have；　of　setting　the　miseries　of　their　neighbours　half　unintentionally；　half　wantonly　before　their　eyes；　showing　them　the　bad　side　of　their　profession；　situation；　etc。　　He　said；　〃She　would　lament　the　dependence　of　pupilage　to　a　young　heir；　etc。；　and　once　told　a　waterman　who　rowed　her　along　the　Thames　in　a　wherry；　that　he　was　no　happier　than　a　galley…slave；　one　being　chained　to　the　oar　by　authority；　the　other　by　want。　　I　had；　however；〃　said　he；　laughing；　〃the　wit　to　get　her　daughter　on　my　side　always　before　we　began　the　dispute。　　She　read　comedy　better　than　anybody　he　ever　heard；〃　he　said；　〃in　tragedy　she　mouthed　too　much。〃

Garrick　told　Mr。　Thrale；　however；　that　she　was　a　little　painted　puppet；　of　no　value　at　all；　and　quite　disguised　with　affectation；　full　of　odd　airs　of　rural　elegance；　and　he　made　out　some　comical　scenes；　by　mimicking　her　in　a　dialogue　he　pretended　to　have　overheard。　　I　do　not　know　whether　he　meant　such　stuff　to　be　believed　or　no；　it　was　so　comical；　nor　did　I　indeed　ever　see　him　represent　her　ridiculously；　though　my　husband　did。　　The　intelligence　I　gained　of　her　from　old　Levett　was　only　perpetual　illness　and　perpetual　opium。　　The　picture　I　found　of　her　at　Lichfield　was　very　pretty；　and　her　daughter；　Mrs。　Lucy　Porter；　said　it　was　like。　　Mr。　Johnson　has　told　me　that　her　hair　was　eminently　beautiful；　quite　blonde；　like　that　of　a　baby；　but　that　she　fretted　about　the　colour；　and　was　always　desirous　to　dye　it　black；　which　he　very　judiciously　hindered　her　from　doing。　　His　account　of　their　wedding　we　used　to　think　ludicrous　enough。　　〃I　was　riding　to　church；〃　says　Johnson；　〃and　she　following　on　another　single　horse。　　She　hung　back；　however；　and　I　turned　about　to　see　whether　she　could　get　her　steed　along；　or　what　was　the　matter。　　I　had；　however；　soon　occasion　to　see　it　was　only　coquetry；　and　THAT　I　DESPISED；　so　quickening　my　pace　a　little；　she　mended　hers；　but　I　believe　there　was　a　tear　or　twopretty　dear　creature！〃

Johnson　loved　his　dinner　exceedingly；　and　has　often　said　in　my　hearing；　perhaps　for　my　edification；　〃that　wherever　the　dinner　is　ill　got　there　is　poverty　or　there　is　avarice；　or　there