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e innocently; but  incautiously; observed; 'If you take me; I will take you。'   He referred the matter next day to my ripe judgment。  As I  had no partiality for the lady in question; I strongly  advised him to accept so obvious a challenge; and go down on  his knees to her at once。  I laid stress on the knees; as the  accepted form of declaration; both in novels and on the  stage。

In this case the beloved object; who was not embarrassed by  excess of amiability; promptly desired him; when he urged his  suit; 'not to make a fool of himself。'

My tutor's peculiarities; however; were not confined to his  endeavours to meet with a lady rectoress。  He sometimes  surprised his hearers with the originality of his abstruse  theories。  One morning he called me into the stable yard to  join in consultation with his gardener as to the advisability  of killing a pig。  There were two; and it was not easy to  decide which was the fitter for the butcher。  The rector  selected one; I the other; and the gardener; who had nurtured  both from their tenderest age; pleaded that they should be  allowed to 'put on another score。'  The point was warmly  argued all round。

'The black sow;' said I (they were both sows; you must know)  … 'The black sow had a litter of ten last time; and the white  one only six。  Ergo; if history repeats itself; as I have  heard you say; you should keep the black; and sacrifice the  white。'

'But;' objected the rector; 'that was the white's first  litter; and the black's second。  Why shouldn't the white do  as well as the black next time?'

'And better; your reverence;' chimed in the gardener。  'The  number don't allays depend on the sow; do it?'

'That is neither here nor there;' returned the rector。

'Well;' said the gardener; who stood to his guns; 'if your  reverence is right; as no doubt you will be; that'll make  just twenty little pigs for the butcher; come Michaelmas。'

'We can't kill 'em before they are born;' said the rector。

'That's true; your reverence。  But it comes to the same  thing。'

'Not to the pigs;' retorted the rector。

'To your reverence; I means。'

'A pig at the butcher's;' I suggested; 'is worth a dozen  unborn。'

'No one can deny it;' said the rector; as he fingered the  small change in his breeches pocket; and pointing with the  other hand to the broad back of the black sow; exclaimed;  'This is the one; DUPLEX AGITUR PER LUMBOS SPINA!  She's got  a back like an alderman's chin。'

'EPICURI DE GREGE PORCUS;' I assented; and the fate of the  black sow was sealed。

Next day an express came from Holkham; to say that Lady  Leicester had given birth to a daughter。  My tutor jumped out  of his chair to hand me the note。  'Did I not anticipate the  event'? he cried。  'What a wonderful world we live in!   Unconsciously I made room for the infant by sacrificing the  life of that pig。'  As I never heard him allude to the  doctrine of Pythagoras; as he had no leaning to Buddhism; 

and; as I am sure he knew nothing of the correlation of  forces; it must be admitted that the conception was an  original one。

Be this as it may; Mr。 Collyer was an upright and  conscientious man。  I owe him much; and respect his memory。   He died at an advanced age; an honorary canon; and … a  bachelor。

Another portrait hangs amongst the many in my memory's  picture gallery。  It is that of his successor to the  vicarage; the chaplaincy; and the librarianship; at Holkham …  Mr。 Alexander Napier … at this time; and until his death  fifty years later; one of my closest and most cherished  friends。  Alexander Napier was the son of Macvey Napier;  first editor of the 'Edinburgh Review。'  Thus; associated  with many eminent men of letters; he also did some good  literary work of his own。  He edited Isaac Barrow's works for  the University of Cambridge; also Boswell's 'Johnson;' and  gave various other proofs of his talents and his scholarship。   He was the most delightful of companions; liberal…minded in  the highest degree; full of quaint humour and quick sympathy;  an excellent parish priest; … looking upon Christianity as a  life and not a dogma; beloved by all; for he had a kind  thought and a kind word for every needy or sick being in his  parish。

With such qualities; the man always predominated over the  priest。  Hence his large…hearted charity and indulgence for  the faults … nay; crimes … of others。  Yet; if taken aback by  an outrage; or an act of gross stupidity; which even the  perpetrator himself had to suffer for; he would momentarily  lose his patience; and rap out an objurgation that would  stagger the straiter…laced gentlemen of his own cloth; or an  outsider who knew less of him than … the recording angel。

A fellow undergraduate of Napier's told me a characteristic  anecdote of his impetuosity。  Both were Trinity men; and had  been keeping high jinks at a supper party at Caius。  The  friend suddenly pointed to the clock; reminding Napier they  had but five minutes to get into college before Trinity gates  were closed。  'D…n the clock!' shouted Napier; and snatching  up the sugar basin (it was not EAU SUCREE they were  drinking); incontinently flung it at the face of the  offending timepiece。

This youthful vivacity did not desert him in later years。  An  old college friend … also a Scotchman … had become Bishop of  Edinburgh。  Napier paid him a visit (he described it to me  himself)。  They talked of books; they talked of politics;  they talked of English Bards and Scotch Reviewers; of  Brougham; Horner; Wilson; Macaulay; Jeffrey; of Carlyle's  dealings with Napier's father … 'Nosey;' as Carlyle calls  him。  They chatted into the small hours of the night; as boon  companions; and as what Bacon calls 'full' men; are wont。   The claret; once so famous in the 'land of cakes;' had given  place to toddy; its flow was in due measure to the flow of  soul。  But all that ends is short … the old friends had spent  their last evening together。  Yes; their last; perhaps。  It  was bed…time; and quoth Napier to his lordship; 'I tell you  what it is; Bishop; I am na fou'; but I'll be hanged if I  haven't got two left legs。'

'I see something odd about them;' says his lordship。  'We'd  better go to bed。'

Who the bishop was I do not know; but I'll answer for it he  was one of the right sort。

In 1846 I became an undergraduate of Trinity College;  Cambridge。  I do not envy the man (though; of course; one  ought) whose college days are not the happiest to look back  upon。  One should hope that however profitably a young man  spends his time at the University; it is but the preparation  for something better。  But happiness and utility are not  necessarily concomitant; and even when an undergraduate's  course is least employed for its intended purpose (as; alas!  mine was) … for happiness; certainly not pure; but simple;  give me life at a University;

Heaven forbid that any youth should be corrupted by my  confession!  But surely there are some pleasures pertaining  to this unique epoch that are harmless in themselves; and are  certainly not to be met with at any other。  These are the  first years of comparative freedom; of manhood; of  responsibility。  The novelty; the freshness of every  pleasure; the unsatiated appetite for enjoyment; the animal  vigour; the ignorance of care; the heedlessness of; or  rather; the implicit faith in; the morrow; the absence of  mistrust or suspicion; the frank surrender to generous  impulses; the readiness to accept appearances for realities …  to believe in every profession or exhibition of good will; to  rush into the arms of every friendship; to lay bare one's  tenderest secrets; to listen eagerly to the revelations which  make us all akin; to offer one's time; one's energies; one's  purse; one's heart; without a selfish afterthought … these; I  say; are the priceless pleasures; never to be repeated; of  healthful average youth。

What has after…success; honour; wealth; fame; or; power …  burdened; as they always are; with ambitions; blunders;  jealousies; cares; regrets; and failing health … to match  with this enjoyment of the young; the bright; the bygone;  hour?  The wisdom of the worldly teacher … at least; the  CARPE DIEM … was practised here before the injunction was  ever thought of。  DU BIST SO SCHON was the unuttered  invocation; while the VERWEILE DOCH was deemed unneedful。

Little; I am ashamed to own; did I add either to my small  classical or mathematical attainments。  But I made  friendships … lifelong friendships; that I would not barter  for the best of academical prizes。

Amongst my associates or acquaintances; two or three of whom  have since become known … were the last Lord Derby; Sir  William Harcourt; the late Lord Stanley of Alderley; Latimer  Neville; late Master of Magdalen; Lord Calthorpe; of racing  fame; with whom I afterwards crossed the Rocky Mountains; the  last Lord Durham; my cousin; Sir Augustus Stephenson; ex… solicitor to the Treasury; Julian Fane; whose lyrics were  edited by Lord Lytton; and my life…long friend Charles  Barrington; private secretary to Lord Palmerston and to Lord  John Russell。

But the most intimate of them was George Cayley; son of the  member for the East Riding of Yorkshire。  Cayley was a young  man of much promise。  In his second year he won the  University prize poem with his 'Balder;' and soon after  published some other poems; and a novel; which met with  merited oblivion。  But it was as a talker that he shone。  His  quick intelligence; his ready wit; his command of language;  made his conversation always lively; and sometimes brilliant。   For several years after I left Cambridge I lived with him in  his father's house in Dean's Yard; and thus made the  acquaintance of some celebrities whom his fascinating and  versatile talents attracted thither。  As I shall return to  this later on; I will merely mention here the names of such  men as Thackeray; Tennyson; Frederick Locker; Stirling of  Keir; Tom Taylor the dramatist; Millais; Leighton; and others  of lesser note。  Cayley was a member of; and regular  attendant at; the Cosmopolitan Club; where he met Dickens;  Foster; Shirley Brooks; John Leech; Dicky Doyle; and the wits  of the day; many of whom occasionally formed part of our  charming c

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