robert falconer-第114部分

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！



obligation　to　myself。　　The　whole　thing　is　a　fiction；　and　of　evil

invention。　　It　comes　from　the　upper　circles　of　the　hell　of

selfishness。　　Or；　perhaps；　it　may　with　some　be　merely　a　form　of

metaphysical　mistake；　but　an　untruth　it　is。　　Then　for　the　duty　we　do

owe　to　other　people：　how　can　we　expect　the　men　or　women　who　have

found　life　to　end；　as　it　seems　to　them；　in　a　dunghill　of　miseryhow

can　we　expect　such　to　understand　any　obligation　to　live　for　the　sake

of　the　general　others；　to　no　individual　of　whom；　possibly；　do　they

bear　an　endurable　relation？　　What　remains？The　grandest；　noblest

duty　from　which　all　other　duty　springs：　the　duty　to　the　possible

God。　Mind；　I　say　possible　God；　for　I　judge　it　the　first　of　my　duties

towards　my　neighbour　to　regard　his　duty　from　his　position；　not　from

mine。'



'But；'　said　I；　'how　would　you　bring　that　duty　to　bear　on　the　mind　of

a　suicide？'



'I　think　some　of　the　tempted　could　understand　it；　though　I　fear　not

one　of　those　could　who　judge　them　hardly；　and　talk　sententiously　of

the　wrong　done　to　a　society　which　has　done　next　to　nothing　for　her；

by　the　poor；　starved；　refused；　husband…tortured　wretch　perhaps；　who

hurries　at　last　to　the　might　of　the　filthy　flowing　river　which；　the

one　thread　of　hope　in　the　web　of　despair；　crawls　through　the　city　of

death。　　What　should　I　say　to　him？　　I　should　say：　〃God　liveth：　thou

art　not　thine　own　but　his。　　Bear　thy　hunger；　thy　horror　in　his　name。

I　in　his　name　will　help　thee　out　of　them；　as　I　may。　　To　go　before

he　calleth　thee；　is　to　say　'Thou　forgettest；'　unto　him　who　numbereth

the　hairs　of　thy　head。　　Stand　out　in　the　cold　and　the　sleet　and　the

hail　of　this　world；　O　son　of　man；　till　thy　Father　open　the　door　and

call　thee。　　Yea；　even　if　thou　knowest　him　not；　stand　and　wait；　lest

there　should　be；　after　all；　such　a　loving　and　tender　one；　who；　for

the　sake　of　a　good　with　which　thou　wilt　be　all…content；　and　without

which　thou　never　couldst　be　content；　permits　thee　there　to

standfor　a　timelong　to　his　sympathizing　as　well　as　to　thy

suffering　heart。〃'



Here　Falconer　paused；　and　when　he　spoke　again　it　was　from　the

ordinary　level　of　conversation。　　Indeed　I　fancied　that　he　was　a

little　uncomfortable　at　the　excitement　into　which　his　feelings　had

borne　him。



'Not　many　of　them　could　understand　this；　I　dare　say：　but　I　think

most　of　them　could　feel　it　without　understanding　it。　　Certainly　the

〃belly　with　good　capon　lined〃　will　neither　understand　nor　feel　it。

Suicide　is　a　sin　against　God；　I　repeat；　not　a　crime　over　which

human　laws　have　any　hold。　　In　regard　to　such；　man　has　a　duty

alonethat；　namely；　of　making　it　possible　for　every　man　to　live。

And　where　the　dread　of　death　is　not　sufficient　to　deter；　what　can

the　threat　of　punishment　do？　　Or　what　great　thing　is　gained　if　it

should　succeed？　　What　agonies　a　man　must　have　gone　through　in　whom

neither　the　horror　of　falling　into　such　a　river；　nor　of　the　knife　in

the　flesh　instinct　with　life；　can　extinguish　the　vague　longing　to

wrap　up　his　weariness　in　an　endless　sleep！'



'But；'　I　remarked；　'you　would；　I　fear；　encourage　the　trade　in

suicide。　　Your　kindness　would　be　terribly　abused。　　What　would　you　do

with　the　pretended　suicides？'



'Whip　them；　for　trifling　with　and　trading　upon　the　feelings　of　their

kind。'



'Then　you　would　drive　them　to　suicide　in　earnest。'



'Then　they　might　be　worth　something；　which　they　were　not　before。'



'We　are　a　great　deal　too　humane　for　that　now…a…days；　I　fear。　　We

don't　like　hurting　people。'



'No。　We　are　infested　with　a　philanthropy　which　is　the　offspring　of

our　mammon…worship。　　But　surely　our　tender　mercies　are　cruel。　　We

don't　like　to　hang　people；　however　unfit　they　may　be　to　live　amongst

their　fellows。　　A　weakling　pity　will　petition　for　the　life　of　the

worst　murdererbut　for　what？　　To　keep　him　alive　in　a　confinement　as

like　their　notion　of　hell　as　they　dare　to　make　itnamely；　a　place

whence　all　the　sweet　visitings　of　the　grace　of　God　are　withdrawn；

and　the　man　has　not　a　chance；　so　to　speak；　of　growing　better。　　In

this　hell　of　theirs　they　will　even　pamper　his　beastly　body。'



'They　have　the　chaplain　to　visit　them。'



'I　pity　the　chaplain；　cut　off　in　his　labours　from　all　the　aids　which

God's　world　alone　can　give　for　the　teaching　of　these　men。　　Human

beings　have　not　the　right　to　inflict　such　cruel　punishment　upon

their　fellow…man。　　It　springs　from　a　cowardly　shrinking　from

responsibility；　and　from　mistrust　of　the　mercy　of　God；perhaps

first　of　all　from　an　over…valuing　of　the　mere　life　of　the　body。

Hanging　is　tenderness　itself　to　such　a　punishment。'



'I　think　you　are　hardly　fair；　though；　Falconer。　　It　is　the　fear　of

sending　them　to　hell　that　prevents　them　from　hanging　them。'



'Yes。　You　are　right；　I　dare　say。　　They　are　not　of　David's　mind；　who

would　rather　fall　into　the　hands　of　God　than　of　men。　　They　think

their　hell　is　not　so　hard　as　his；　and　may　be　better　for　them。　　But　I

must　not；　as　you　say；　forget　that　they　do　believe　their　everlasting

fate　hangs　upon　their　hands；　for　if　God　once　gets　his　hold　of　them

by　death；　they　are　lost　for　ever。'



'But　the　chaplain　may　awake　them　to　a　sense　of　their　sins。'



'I　do　not　think　it　is　likely　that　talk　will　do　what　the　discipline

of　life　has　not　done。　　It　seems　to　me；　on　the　contrary；　that　the

clergyman　has　no　commission　to　rouse　people　to　a　sense　of　their

sins。　　That　is　not　his　work。　　He　is　far　more　likely　to　harden　them

by　any　attempt　in　that　direction。　　Every　man　does　feel　his　sins；

though　he　often　does　not　know　it。　　To　turn　his　attention　away　from

what　he　does　feel　by　trying　to　rouse　in　him　feelings　which　are

impossible　to　him　in　his　present　condition；　is　to　do　him　a　great

wrong。　　The　clergyman　has　the　message　of　salvation；　not　of　sin；　to

give。　　Whatever　oppression　is　on　a　man；　whatever　trouble；　whatever

conscious　something　that　comes　between　him　and　the　blessedness　of

life；　is　his　sin；　for　whatever　is　not　of　faith　is　sin；　and　from　all

this　He　came　to　save　us。　　Salvation　alone　can　rouse　in　us　a　sense　of

our　sinfulness。　　One　must　have　got　on　a　good　way　before　he　can　be

sorry　for　his　sins。　　There　is　no　condition　of　sorrow　laid　down　as

necessary　to　forgiveness。　　Repentance　does　not　mean　sorrow：　it　means

turning　away　from　the　sins。　　Every　man　can　do　that；　more　or　less。

And　that　every　man　must　do。　　The　sorrow　will　come　afterwards；　all

in　good　time。　　Jesus　offers　to　take　us　out　of　our　own　hands　into

his；　if　we　will　only　obey　him。'



The　eyes　of　the　old　man　were　fixed　on　his　son　as　he　spoke；　He　did

seem　to　be　thinking。　　I　could　almost　fancy　that　a　glimmer　of

something　like　hope　shone　in　his　eyes。



It　was　time　to　go　home；　and　we　were　nearly　silent　all　the　way。



The　next　morning　was　so　wet　that　we　could　not　go　out；　and　had　to

amuse　ourselves　as　we　best　might　in…doors。　　But　Falconer's　resources

never　failed。　　He　gave　us　this　day　story　after　story　about　the　poor

people　he　had　known。　　I　could　see　that　his　object　was　often　to　get

some　truth　into　his　father's　mind　without　exposing　it　to　rejection

by　addressing　it　directly　to　himself；　and　few　subjects　could　be　more

fitted　for　affording　such　opportunity　than　his　experiences　among　the

poor。



The　afternoon　was　still　rainy　and　misty。　　In　the　evening　I　sought　to

lead　the　conversation　towards　the　gospel…story；　and　then　Falconer

talked　as　I　never　heard　him　talk　before。　　No　little　circumstance　in

the　narratives　appeared　to　have　escaped　him。　　He　had　thought　about

everything；　as　it　seemed　to　me。　　He　had　looked　under　the　surface

everywhere；　and　found　truthmines　of　itunder　all　the　upper　soil

of　the　story。　　The　deeper　he　dug　the　richer　seemed　the　ore。　　This

was　combined　with　the　most　pictorial　apprehension　of　every　outward

event；　which　he　treated　as　if　it　had　been　described　to　him　by　the

lips　of　an　eye…witness。　　The　whole　thing　lived　in　his　words　and

thoughts。



'When　anything　looks　strange；　you　must　look　the　deeper；'　he　would

say。



At　the　close　of　one　of　our　fits　of　talk；　he　rose　and　went　to　the

window。



'Come　here；'　he　said；　after　looking　for　a　moment。



All　day　a　dropping　cloud　had　filled　the　space　below；　so　that　the

hills　on　the　opposite　side　of　the　valley　were　hidden；　and　the　whole

of　the　sea；　near　as　it　was。　　But　when　we　went　to　the　window　we　found

that　a　great　change　had　silently　taken　place。　　The　mist　continued　to

veil　the　sky；　and　it　clung　to　the　tops　of　the　hills；　but；　like　the

rising　curtain　of　a　stage；　it　had　rolled　half…way　up　from　their

bases；　revealing　a　great　part　of　the　sea　and　shore；　and　half　of　a

cliff　on　the　opposite　side　of　the　valley：　this；　in　itself　of　a　deep

red；　was　now　smitten　by　the　rays　of　the　setting　sun；　and　glowed　over

the　waters　a　splendour　of　carmine。　　As　we　gazed；　the　vaporous

curtain　sank　upon　the　shore；　and　the　sun　sank　under　the　waves；　and

the　sad　gray　evening　closed　in　the　weeping　night；　and　clouds　and

darkness　swathed　the　weary　earth。　　For　doubtless　the　earth　needs　its

night　as　well　as　the　creatures　that　live　thereon。



In　the　morning　the　rain　had　ceased；　but　the　clouds　remained。　　But

they　were　high　in　the　heavens　now；　and；　like　a　departing　sorrow；

revealed　the　outline　and　form　which　had　appeared　before　as　an

enveloping　vapour　of　universal　and　shapeless　evil。　　The　mist　was　now

far　enough　off　to　be　seen　and　thought　about。　　It　was　clouds　nowno

longer　mist　and　rain。　　And　I　thought　how　at　length　the　evils　of　the

world　would　float　away；　and　we　should　see　what　it　was　that　made　it

so　hard　for　us　to　believe　and　be　at　peace。



In　the　afternoon　the　sky　had　partially　cleared；　but　clouds　hid　the

sun　as　he　sank　towards　the　west。　　We　walked　out。　　A　cold　autumnal

wind　blew；　not　only　from　the　twilight　of　the　dying　day；　but　from　the

twilight　of　the　dying　season。　　A　sorrowful　hopeless　wind　it　seemed；

full　of　the　odours　of　dead　leavesthose　memories　of　green　woods；

and　of　damp　earththe　bare　graves　of　the　flowers。　　Would