robert falconer-第115部分
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full of the odours of dead leavesthose memories of green woods;
and of damp earththe bare graves of the flowers。 Would the summer
ever come again?
We were pacing in silence along a terraced walk which overhung the
shore far below。 More here than from the hilltop we seemed to look
immediately into space; not even a parapet intervening betwixt us
and the ocean。 The sound of a mournful lyric; never yet sung; was
in my brain; it drew nearer to my mental grasp; but ere it alighted;
its wings were gone; and it fell dead on my consciousness。 Its
meaning was this: 'Welcome; Requiem of Nature。 Let me share in thy
Requiescat。 Blow; wind of mournful memories。 Let us moan together。
No one taketh from us the joy of our sorrow。 We may mourn as we
will。'
But while I brooded thus; behold a wonder! The mass about the
sinking sun broke up; and drifted away in cloudy bergs; as if
scattered on the diverging currents of solar radiance that burst
from the gates of the west; and streamed east and north and south
over the heavens and over the sea。 To the north; these masses built
a cloudy bridge across the sky from horizon to horizon; and beneath
it shone the rosy…sailed ships floating stately through their
triumphal arch up the channel to their home。 Other clouds floated
stately too in the upper sea over our heads; with dense forms;
thinning into vaporous edges。 Some were of a dull angry red; some
of as exquisite a primrose hue as ever the flower itself bore on its
bosom; and betwixt their edges beamed out the sweetest; purest; most
melting; most transparent blue; the heavenly blue which is the
symbol of the spirit as red is of the heart。 I think I never saw a
blue to satisfy me before。 Some of these clouds threw shadows of
many…shaded purple upon the green sea; and from one of the shadows;
so dark and so far out upon the glooming horizon that it looked like
an island; arose as from a pier; a wondrous structure of dim; fairy
colours; a multitude of rainbow…ends; side by side; that would have
spanned the heavens with a gorgeous arch; but failed from the very
grandeur of the idea; and grew up only a few degrees against the
clouded west。 I stood rapt。 The two Falconers were at some
distance before me; walking arm in arm。 They stood and gazed
likewise。 It was as if God had said to the heavens and the earth
and the chord of the seven colours; 'Comfort ye; comfort ye my
people。' And I said to my soul; 'Let the tempest rave in the world;
let sorrow wail like a sea…bird in the midst thereof; and let thy
heart respond to her shivering cry; but the vault of heaven encloses
the tempest and the shrieking bird and the echoing heart; and the
sun of God's countenance can with one glance from above change the
wildest winter day into a summer evening compact of poets' dreams。'
My companions were walking up over the hill。 I could see that
Falconer was earnestly speaking in his father's ear。 The old man's
head was bent towards the earth。 I kept away。 They made a turn
from home。 I still followed at a distance。 The evening began to
grow dark。 The autumn wind met us again; colder; stronger; yet more
laden with the odours of death and the frosts of the coming winter。
But it no longer blew as from the charnel…house of the past; it
blew from the stars through the chinks of the unopened door on the
other side of the sepulchre。 It was a wind of the worlds; not a
wind of the leaves。 It told of the march of the spheres; and the
rest of the throne of God。 We were going on into the universehome
to the house of our Father。 Mighty adventure! Sacred repose! And
as I followed the pair; one great star throbbed and radiated over my
head。
CHAPTER XVIII。
THREE GENERATIONS。
The next week I went back to my work; leaving the father and son
alone together。 Before I left; I could see plainly enough that the
bonds were being drawn closer between them。 A whole month passed
before they returned to London。 The winter then had set in with
unusual severity。 But it seemed to bring only health to the two
men。 When I saw Andrew next; there was certainly a marked change
upon him。 Light had banished the haziness from his eye; and his
step was a good deal firmer。 I can hardly speak of more than the
physical improvement; for I saw very little of him now。 Still I did
think I could perceive more of judgment in his face; as if he
sometimes weighed things in his mind。 But it was plain that Robert
continued very careful not to let him a moment out of his knowledge。
He busied him with the various sights of London; for Andrew;
although he knew all its miseries well; had never yet been inside
Westminster Abbey。 If he could only trust him enough to get him
something to do! But what was he fit for? To try him; he proposed
once that he should write some account of what he had seen and
learned in his wanderings; but the evident distress with which he
shrunk from the proposal was grateful to the eyes and heart of his
son。
It was almost the end of the year when a letter arrived from John
Lammie; informing Robert that his grandmother had caught a violent
cold; and that; although the special symptoms had disappeared; it
was evident her strength was sinking fast; and that she would not
recover。
He read the letter to his father。
'We must go and see her; Robert; my boy;' said Andrew。
It was the first time that he had shown the smallest desire to visit
her。 Falconer rose with glad heart; and proceeded at once to make
arrangements for their journey。
It was a cold; powdery afternoon in January; with the snow thick on
the ground; save where the little winds had blown the crown of the
street bare before Mrs。 Falconer's house。 A post…chaise with four
horses swept wearily round the corner; and pulled up at her door。
Betty opened it; and revealed an old withered face very sorrowful;
and yet expectant。 Falconer's feelings I dare not; Andrew's I
cannot attempt to describe; as they stepped from the chaise and
entered。 Betty led the way without a word into the little parlour。
Robert went next; with long quiet strides; and Andrew followed with
gray; bowed head。 Grannie was not in her chair。 The doors which
during the day concealed the bed in which she slept; were open; and
there lay the aged woman with her eyes closed。 The room was as it
had always been; only there seemed a filmy shadow in it that had not
been there before。
'She's deein'; sir;' whispered Betty。 'Ay is she。 Och hone!'
Robert took his father's hand; and led him towards the bed。 They
drew nigh softly; and bent over the withered; but not even yet very
wrinkled face。 The smooth; white; soft hands lay on the sheet;
which was folded back over her bosom。 She was asleep; or rather;
she slumbered。
But the soul of the child began to grow in the withered heart of the
old man as he regarded his older mother; and as it grew it forced
the tears to his eyes; and the words to his lips。
'Mother!' he said; and her eyelids rose at once。 He stooped to kiss
her; with the tears rolling down his face。 The light of heaven
broke and flashed from her aged countenance。 She lifted her weak
hands; took his head; and held it to her bosom。
'Eh! the bonnie gray heid!' she said; and burst into a passion of
weeping。 She had kept some tears for the last。 Now she would spend
all that her griefs had left her。 But there came a pause in her
sobs; though not in her weeping; and then she spoke。
'I kent it a' the time; O Lord。 I kent it a' the time。 He's come
hame。 My Anerew; my Anerew! I'm as happy 's a bairn。 O Lord! O
Lord!'
And she burst again into sobs; and entered paradise in radiant
weeping。
Her hands sank away from his head; and when her son gazed in her
face he saw that she was dead。 She had never looked at Robert。
The two men turned towards each other。 Robert put out his arms。
His father laid his head on his bosom; and went on weeping。 Robert
held him to his heart。
When shall a man dare to say that God has done all he can?
CHAPTER XIX。
THE WHOLE STORY。
The men laid their mother's body with those of the generations that
had gone before her; beneath the long grass in their country
churchyard near Rothiedena dreary place; one accustomed to trim
cemeteries and sentimental wreaths would call itto Falconer's mind
so friendly to the forsaken dust; because it lapt it in sweet
oblivion。
They returned to the dreary house; and after a simple meal such as
both had used to partake of in their boyhood; they sat by the fire;
Andrew in his mother's chair; Robert in the same chair in which he
had learned his Sallust and written his versions。 Andrew sat for a
while gazing into the fire; and Robert sat watching his face; where
in the last few months a little feeble fatherhood had begun to dawn。
'It was there; father; that grannie used to sit; every day;
sometimes looking in the fire for hours; thinking about you; I
know;' Robert said at length。
Andrew stirred uneasily in his chair。
'How do you know that?' he asked。
'If there was one thing I could be sure of; it was when grannie was
thinking about you; father。 Who wouldn't have known it; father;
when her lips were pressed together; as if she had some dreadful
pain to bear; and her eyes were looking away through the fireso
far away! and I would speak to her three times before she would
answer? She lived only to think about God and you; father。 God and
you came very close together in her mind。 Since ever I can
remember; almost; the thought of you was just the one thing in this
house。'
Then Robert began at the beginning of his memory; and told his
father all that he could remember。 When he came to speak about his
solitary musings in the garret; he saidand long before he reached
this part; he had