robert falconer-第15部分
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earth。 But Shargar was not miserable。 In that wretched hovel; his
bare feet clasping the clay floor in constant search of a wavering
equilibrium; with pitch darkness around him; and incapable of the
simplest philosophical or religious reflection; he yet found life
good。 For it had interest。 Nay; more; it had hope。 I doubt;
however; whether there is any interest at all without hope。
While he sat there; Robert; thinking him snug in the garret; was
walking quietly home from the shoemaker's; and his first impulse on
entering was to run up and recount the particulars of his interview
with Alexander。 Arrived in the dark garret; he called Shargar; as
usual; in a whisperreceived no replythought he was
asleepcalled louder (for he had had a penny from his grandmother
that day for bringing home two pails of water for Betty; and had
just spent it upon a loaf for him)but no Shargar replied。
Thereupon he went to the bed to lay hold of him and shake him。 But
his searching hands found no Shargar。 Becoming alarmed; he ran
down…stairs to beg a light from Betty。
When he reached the kitchen; he found Betty's nose as much in the
air as its construction would permit。 For a hook…nosed animal; she
certainly was the most harmless and ovine creature in the world; but
this was a case in which feminine modesty was both concerned and
aggrieved。 She showed her resentment no further; however; than by
simply returning no answer in syllable; or sound; or motion; to
Robert's request。 She was washing up the tea…things; and went on
with her work as if she had been in absolute solitude; saving that
her countenance could hardly have kept up that expression of injured
dignity had such been the case。 Robert plainly saw; to his great
concern; that his secret had been discovered in his absence; and
that Shargar had been expelled with contumely。 But; with an
instinct of facing the worst at once which accompanied him through
life; he went straight to his grandmother's parlour。
'Well; grandmamma;' he said; trying to speak as cheerfully as he
could。
Grannie's prayers had softened her a little; else she would have
been as silent as Betty; for it was from her mistress that Betty had
learned this mode of torturing a criminal。 So she was just able to
return his greeting in the words; 'Weel; Robert;' pronounced in a
finality of tone that indicated she had done her utmost; and had
nothing to add。
'Here's a browst (brewage)!' thought Robert to himself; and; still
on the principle of flying at the first of mischief he sawthe best
mode of meeting it; no doubtaddressed his grandmother at once。
The effort necessary gave a tone of defiance to his words。
'What for willna ye speik to me; grannie?' he said。 'I'm no a
haithen; nor yet a papist。'
'Ye're waur nor baith in ane; Robert。'
'Hoots! ye winna say baith; grannie;' returned Robert; who; even at
the age of fourteen; when once compelled to assert himself; assumed
a modest superiority。
'Nane o' sic impidence!' retorted Mrs。 Falconer。 'I wonner whaur ye
learn that。 But it's nae wonner。 Evil communications corrupt gude
mainners。 Ye're a lost prodigal; Robert; like yer father afore ye。
I hae jist been sittin' here thinkin' wi' mysel' whether it wadna
be better for baith o' 's to lat ye gang an' reap the fruit o' yer
doin's at ance; for the hard ways is the best road for
transgressors。 I'm no bund to keep ye。'
'Weel; weel; I s' awa' to Shargar。 Him and me 'ill haud on
thegither better nor you an' me; grannie。 He's a puir cratur; but
he can stick till a body。'
'What are ye haverin' aboot Shargar for; ye heepocreet loon? Ye'll
no gang to Shargar; I s' warran'! Ye'll be efter that vile limmer
that's turnt my honest hoose intil a sty this last fortnicht。'
'Grannie; I dinna ken what ye mean。'
'She kens; than。 I sent her aff like ane o' Samson's foxes; wi' a
firebrand at her tail。 It's a pity it wasna tied atween the twa o'
ye。'
'Preserve 's; grannie! Is't possible ye hae ta'en Shargar for ane
o' wumman…kin'?'
'I ken naething aboot Shargar; I tell ye。 I ken that Betty an' me
tuik an ill…faured dame i' the bed i' the garret。'
'Cud it be his mither?' thought Robert in bewilderment; but he
recovered himself in a moment; and answered;
'Shargar may be a quean efter a'; for onything 'at I ken to the
contrairy; but I aye tuik him for a loon。 Faith; sic a quean as
he'd mak!'
And careless to resist the ludicrousness of the idea; he burst into
a loud fit of laughter; which did more to reassure his grannie than
any amount of protestation could have done; however she pretended to
take offence at his ill…timed merriment。
Seeing his grandmother staggered; Robert gathered courage to assume
the offensive。
'But; granny! hoo ever Betty; no to say you; cud hae driven oot a
puir half…stervit cratur like Shargar; even supposin' he oucht to
hae been in coaties; and no in troosersand the mither o' him run
awa' an' left himit's mair nor I can unnerstan。' I misdoobt me
sair but he's gane and droont himsel'。'
Robert knew well enough that Shargar would not drown himself without
at least bidding him good…bye; but he knew too that his grandmother
could be wrought upon。 Her conscience was more tender than her
feelings; and this peculiarity occasioned part of the mutual
non…understanding rather than misunderstanding between her grandson
and herself。 The first relation she bore to most that came near her
was one of severity and rebuke; but underneath her cold outside lay
a warm heart; to which conscience acted the part of a somewhat
capricious stoker; now quenching its heat with the cold water of
duty; now stirring it up with the poker of reproach; and ever
treating it as an inferior and a slave。 But her conscience was; on
the whole; a better friend to her race than her heart; and; indeed;
the conscience is always a better friend than a heart whose motions
are undirected by it。 From Falconer's account of her; however; I
cannot help thinking that she not unfrequently took refuge in
severity of tone and manner from the threatened ebullition of a
feeling which she could not otherwise control; and which she was
ashamed to manifest。 Possibly conscience had spoken more and more
gently as its behests were more and more readily obeyed; until the
heart began to gather courage; and at last; as in many old people;
took the upper hand; which was outwardly inconvenient to one of Mrs。
Falconer's temperament。 Hence; in doing the kindest thing in the
world; she would speak in a tone of command; even of rebuke; as if
she were compelling the performance of the most unpleasant duty in
the person who received the kindness。 But the human heart is hard
to analyze; and; indeed; will not submit quietly to the operation;
however gently performed。 Nor is the result at all easy to put into
words。 It is best shown in actions。
Again; it may appear rather strange that Robert should be able to
talk in such an easy manner to his grandmother; seeing he had been
guilty of concealment; if not of deception。 But she had never been
so actively severe towards Robert as she had been towards her own
children。 To him she was wonderfully gentle for her nature; and
sought to exercise the saving harshness which she still believed
necessary; solely in keeping from him every enjoyment of life which
the narrowest theories as to the rule and will of God could set down
as worldly。 Frivolity; of which there was little in this sober boy;
was in her eyes a vice; loud laughter almost a crime; cards; and
novelles; as she called them; were such in her estimation; as to be
beyond my powers of characterization。 Her commonest injunction was;
'Noo be douce;'that is soberuttered to the soberest boy she
could ever have known。 But Robert was a large…hearted boy; else
this life would never have had to be written; and so; through all
this; his deepest nature came into unconscious contact with that of
his noble old grandmother。 There was nothing small about either of
them。 Hence Robert was not afraid of her。 He had got more of her
nature in him than of her son's。 She and his own mother had more
share in him than his father; though from him he inherited good
qualities likewise。
He had concealed his doings with Shargar simply because he believed
they could not be done if his grandmother knew of his plans。 Herein
he did her less than justice。 But so unpleasant was concealment to
his nature; and so much did the dread of discovery press upon him;
that the moment he saw the thing had come out into the daylight of
her knowledge; such a reaction of relief took place as; operating
along with his deep natural humour and the comical circumstance of
the case; gave him an ease and freedom of communication which he had
never before enjoyed with her。 Likewise there was a certain courage
in the boy which; if his own natural disposition had not been so
quiet that he felt the negations of her rule the less; might have
resulted in underhand doings of a very different kind; possibly;
from those of benevolence。
He must have been a strange being to look at; I always think; at
this point of his development; with his huge nose; his black eyes;
his lanky figure; and his sober countenance; on which a smile was
rarely visible; but from which burst occasional guffaws of laughter。
At the words 'droont himsel';' Mrs。 Falconer started。
'Rin; laddie; rin;' she said; 'an' fess him back direckly! Betty!
Betty! gang wi' Robert and help him to luik for Shargar。 Ye auld;
blin'; doited body; 'at says ye can see; and canna tell a lad frae a
lass!'
'Na; na; grannie。 I'm no gaein' oot wi' a dame like her trailin' at
my fut。 She wad be a sair hinnerance to me。 Gin Shargar be to be
gottenthat is; gin he be in lifeI s' get him wantin' Betty。 And
gin ye dinna ken him