robert falconer-第83部分
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evening with the doctor； over a tumbler of toddy。
'If you call me anything else； I'll cut my throat； Robert； as I told
you before。 If any one else does；' he added； laughing； 'I'll cut
his throat。'
'Can he go with me； doctor？' asked Robert； turning to their host。
'Certainly。 He has not been to Rothieden since he took his degree。
He's an A。M。 now； and has distinguished himself besides。 You'll
see him in his uniform soon； I hope。 Let's drink his health；
Robert。 Fill your glass。'
The doctor filled his glass slowly and solemnly。 He seldom drank
even wine； but this was a rare occasion。 He then rose； and with
equal slowness； and a tremor in his voice which rendered it
impossible to imagine the presence of anything but seriousness；
said；
'Robert； my son； let's drink the health of George Moray； Gentleman。
Stand up。'
Robert rose； and in his confusion Shargar rose too； and sat down
again； blushing till his red hair looked yellow beside his cheeks。
The men repeated the words； 'George Moray； Gentleman；' emptied
their glasses； and resumed their seats。 Shargar rose trembling； and
tried in vain to speak。 The reason in part was； that he sought to
utter himself in English。
'Hoots！ Damn English！' he broke out at last。 'Gin I be a gentleman；
Dr。 Anderson and Robert Falconer； it's you twa 'at's made me ane；
an' God bless ye； an' I'm yer hoomble servant to a' etairnity。'
So saying； Shargar resumed his seat； filled his glass with trembling
hand； emptied it to hide his feelings； but without success； rose
once more； and retreated to the hall for a space。
The next morning Robert and Shargar got on the coach and went to
Rothieden。 Robert turned his head aside as they came near the
bridge and the old house of Bogbonnie。 But； ashamed of his
weakness； he turned again and looked at the house。 There it stood；
all the same；a thing for the night winds to howl in； and follow
each other in mad gambols through its long passages and rooms； so
empty from the first that not even a ghost had any reason for going
therea place almost without a historydreary emblem of so many
empty souls that have hidden their talent in a napkin； and have
nothing to return for it when the Master calls them。 Having looked
this one in the face； he felt stronger to meet those other places
before which his heart quailed yet more。 He knew that Miss St。 John
had left soon after Ericson's death： whether he was sorry or glad
that he should not see her he could not tell。 He thought Rothieden
would look like Pompeii； a city buried and disinterred； but when the
coach drove into the long straggling street； he found the old love
revive； and although the blood rushed back to his heart when Captain
Forsyth's house came in view； he did not turn away； but made his
eyes； and through them his heart； familiar with its desolation。 He
got down at the corner； and leaving Shargar to go on to The Boar's
Head and look after the luggage； walked into his grandmother's house
and straight into her little parlour。 She rose with her old
stateliness when she saw a stranger enter the room； and stood
waiting his address。
'Weel； grannie；' said Robert； and took her in his arms。
'The Lord's name be praised！' faltered she。 'He's ower guid to the
likes o' me。'
And she lifted up her voice and wept。
She had been informed of his coming； but she had not expected him
till the evening； he was much altered； and old age is slow。
He had hardly placed her in her chair； when Betty came in。 If she
had shown him respect before； it was reverence now。
'Eh； sir！' she said； 'I didna ken it was you； or I wadna hae come
into the room ohn chappit at the door。 I'll awa' back to my
kitchie。'
So saying； she turned to leave the room。
'Hoots！ Betty；' cried Robert； 'dinna be a gowk。 Gie 's a grip o
yer han'。'
Betty stood staring and irresolute； overcome at sight of the manly
bulk before her。
'Gin ye dinna behave yersel'； Betty； I'll jist awa' ower to
Muckledrum； an' hae a caw （drive） throu the sessions…buik。'
Betty laughed for the first time at the awful threat； and the ice
once broken； things returned to somewhat of their old footing。
I must not linger on these days。 The next morning Robert paid a
visit to Bodyfauld； and found that time had there flowed so gently
that it had left but few wrinkles and fewer gray hairs。 The fields；
too； had little change to show； and the hill was all the same； save
that its pines had grown。 His chief mission was to John Hewson and
his wife。 When he left for the continent； he was not so utterly
absorbed in his own griefs as to forget Jessie。 He told her story
to Dr。 Anderson； and the good man had gone to see her the same day。
In the evening； when he knew he should find them both at home； he
walked into the cottage。 They were seated by the fire； with the
same pot hanging on the same crook for their supper。 They rose； and
asked him to sit down； but did not know him。 When he told them who
he was； they greeted him warmly； and John Hewson smiled something of
the old smile； but only like it； for it had no 'rays proportionately
delivered' from his mouth over his face。
After a little indifferent chat； Robert said；
'I came through Aberdeen yesterday； John。'
At the very mention of Aberdeen； John's head sunk。 He gave no
answer； but sat looking in the fire。 His wife rose and went to the
other end of the room； busying herself quietly about the supper。
Robert thought it best to plunge into the matter at once。
'I saw Jessie last nicht；' he said。
Still there was no reply。 John's face had grown hard as a stone
face； but Robert thought rather from the determination to govern his
feelings than from resentment。
'She's been doin' weel ever sin' syne；' he added。
Still no word from either； and Robert fearing some outburst of
indignation ere he had said his say； now made haste。
'She's been a servant wi' Dr。 Anderson for four year noo； an' he's
sair pleased wi' her。 She's a fine woman。 But her bairnie's deid；
an' that was a sair blow till her。'
He heard a sob from the mother； but still John made no sign。
'It was a bonnie bairnie as ever ye saw。 It luikit in her face； she
says； as gin it kent a' aboot it； and had only come to help her
throu the warst o' 't； for it gaed hame 'maist as sune's ever she
was richt able to thank God for sen'in' her sic an angel to lead her
to repentance。'
'John；' said his wife； coming behind his chair； and laying her hand
on his shoulder； 'what for dinna ye speyk？ Ye hear what Maister
Faukner says。Ye dinna think a thing's clean useless 'cause there
may be a spot upo' 't？' she added； wiping her eyes with her apron。
'A spot upo' 't？' cried John； starting to his feet。 'What ca' ye a
spot？Wuman； dinna drive me mad to hear ye lichtlie the glory o'
virginity。'
'That's a' verra weel； John；' interposed Robert quietly； 'but there
was ane thocht as muckle o' 't as ye do； an' wad hae been ashamed to
hear ye speak that gait aboot yer ain dauchter'
'I dinna unnerstan' ye；' returned Hewson； looking raised…like at
him。
'Dinna ye ken； man； that amo' them 'at kent the Lord best whan he
cam frae haiven to luik efter his ainto seek and to save； ye
kenamo' them 'at cam roon aboot him to hearken till 'im； was
lasses 'at had gane the wrang gait a'thegither；no like your bonnie
Jessie 'at fell but ance。 Man； ye're jist like Simon the Pharisee；
'at was sae scunnert at oor Lord 'cause he loot the wuman 'at was a
sinner tak her wull o' 's feetthe feet 'at they war gaein' to tak
their wull o' efter anither fashion afore lang。 He wad hae shawn
her the doorSimon wadlike you； John； but the Lord tuik her
pairt。 An' lat me tell you； Johnan' I winna beg yer pardon for
sayin' 't； for it's God's trowthlat me tell you； 'at gin ye gang
on that gait ye'll be sidin' wi' the Pharisee； an' no wi' oor Lord。
Ye may lippen to yer wife； ay； an' to Jessie hersel'； that kens
better nor eyther o' ye； no to mak little o' virginity。 Faith！ they
think mair o' 't than ye do； I'm thinkin'； efter a'； only it's no a
thing to say muckle aboot。 An' it's no to stan' for a'thing； efter
a'。'
Silence followed。 John sat down again； and buried his face in his
hands。 At length he murmured from between them；
'The lassie's weel？'
'Ay；' answered Robert； and silence followed again。
'What wad ye hae me do？' asked John； lifting his head a little。
'I wad hae ye sen' a kin' word till her。 The lassie's hert's jist
longin' efter ye。 That's a'。 And that's no ower muckle。'
''Deed no；' assented the mother。
John said nothing。 But when his visitor rose he bade him a warm
good…night。
When Robert returned to Aberdeen he was the bearer of such a message
as made poor Jessie glad at heart。 This was his first experience of
the sort。
When he left the cottage； he did not return to the house； but
threaded the little forest of pines； climbing the hill till he came
out on its bare crown； where nothing grew but heather and
blaeberries。 There he threw himself down； and gazed into the
heavens。 The sun was below the horizon； all the dazzle was gone out
of the gold； and the roses were fast fading； the downy blue of the
sky was trembling into stars over his head； the brown dusk was
gathering in the air； and a wind full of gentleness and peace came
to him from the west。 He let his thoughts go where they would； and
they went up into the abyss over his head。
'Lord； come to me；' he cried in his heart； 'for I cannot go to thee。
If I were to go up and up through that awful space for ages and
ages； I should never find thee。 Yet there thou art。 The tenderness
of thy infinitude looks upon me from those heavens。 Thou art in
them and in me。 Because thou thinkest； I think。 I am thineall
thine。 I abandon mysel
