winesburg,ohio-第25部分

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　School。　　Old　citizens　remembered　him　as　a　quiet；　smiling　youth　inclined　to　silence。　　He　walked　in　the　middle　of　the　road　when　he　came　into　town　and　sometimes　read　a　book。　　Drivers　of　teams　had　to　shout　and　swear　to　make　him　realize　where　he　was　so　that　he　would　turn　out　of　the　beaten　track　and　let　them　pass。

When　he　was　twenty…one　years　old　Enoch　went　to　New　York　City　and　was　a　city　man　for　fifteen　years。　　He　studied　French　and　went　to　an　art　school；　hoping　to　develop　a　faculty　he　had　for　drawing。　　In　his　own　mind　he　planned　to　go　to　Paris　and　to　finish　his　art　education　among　the　masters　there；　but　that　never　turned　out。

Nothing　ever　turned　out　for　Enoch　Robinson。　　He　could　draw　well　enough　and　he　had　many　odd　deli…　cate　thoughts　hidden　away　in　his　brain　that　might　have　expressed　themselves　through　the　brush　of　a　painter；　but　he　was　always　a　child　and　that　was　a　handicap　to　his　worldly　development。　　He　never　grew　up　and　of　course　he　couldn't　understand　peo…　ple　and　he　couldn't　make　people　understand　him。　The　child　in　him　kept　bumping　against　things；　against　actualities　like　money　and　sex　and　opinions。　Once　he　was　hit　by　a　street　car　and　thrown　against　an　iron　post。　　That　made　him　lame。　　It　was　one　of　the　many　things　that　kept　things　from　turning　out　for　Enoch　Robinson

In　New　York　City；　when　he　first　went　there　to　live　and　before　he　became　confused　and　disconcerted　by　the　facts　of　life；　Enoch　went　about　a　good　deal　with　young　men。　　He　got　into　a　group　of　other　young　artists；　both　men　and　women；　and　in　the　evenings　they　sometimes　came　to　visit　him　in　his　room。　　Once　he　got　drunk　and　was　taken　to　a　police　station　where　a　police　magistrate　frightened　him　horribly；　and　once　he　tried　to　have　an　affair　with　a　woman　of　the　town　met　on　the　sidewalk　before　his　lodging　house。　　The　woman　and　Enoch　walked　together　three　blocks　and　then　the　young　man　grew　afraid　and　ran　away。　　The　woman　had　been　drinking　and　the　incident　amused　her。　　She　leaned　against　the　wall　of　a　building　and　laughed　so　heartily　that　another　man　stopped　and　laughed　with　her。　　The　two　went　away　together；　still　laughing；　and　Enoch　crept　off　to　his　room　trembling　and　vexed。

The　room　in　which　young　Robinson　lived　in　New　York　faced　Washington　Square　and　was　long　and　narrow　like　a　hallway。　　It　is　important　to　get　that　fixed　in　your　mind。　　The　story　of　Enoch　is　in　fact　the　story　of　a　room　almost　more　than　it　is　the　story　of　a　man。

And　so　into　the　room　in　the　evening　came　young　Enoch's　friends。　　There　was　nothing　particularly　striking　about　them　except　that　they　were　artists　of　the　kind　that　talk。　　Everyone　knows　of　the　talking　artists。　　Throughout　all　of　the　known　history　of　the　world　they　have　gathered　in　rooms　and　talked。　　They　talk　of　art　and　are　passionately；　almost　feverishly；　in　earnest　about　it。　　They　think　it　matters　much　more　than　it　does。

And　so　these　people　gathered　and　smoked　ciga…　rettes　and　talked　and　Enoch　Robinson；　the　boy　from　the　farm　near　Winesburg；　was　there。　　He　stayed　in　a　corner　and　for　the　most　part　said　nothing。　　How　his　big　blue　childlike　eyes　stared　about！　On　the　walls　were　pictures　he　had　made；　crude　things；　half　fin…　ished。　　His　friends　talked　of　these。　　Leaning　back　in　their　chairs；　they　talked　and　talked　with　their　heads　rocking　from　side　to　side。　　Words　were　said　about　line　and　values　and　composition；　lots　of　words；　such　as　are　always　being　said。

Enoch　wanted　to　talk　too　but　he　didn't　know　how。　He　was　too　excited　to　talk　coherently。　　When　he　tried　he　sputtered　and　stammered　and　his　voice　sounded　strange　and　squeaky　to　him。　　That　made　him　stop　talking。　　He　knew　what　he　wanted　to　say；　but　he　knew　also　that　he　could　never　by　any　possibility　say　it。　　When　a　picture　he　had　painted　was　under　discussion；　he　wanted　to　burst　out　with　something　like　this：　〃You　don't　get　the　point；〃　he　wanted　to　explain；　〃the　picture　you　see　doesn't　consist　of　the　things　you　see　and　say　words　about。　　There　is　some…　thing　else；　something　you　don't　see　at　all；　something　you　aren't　intended　to　see。　　Look　at　this　one　over　here；　by　the　door　here；　where　the　light　from　the　window　falls　on　it。　　The　dark　spot　by　the　road　that　you　might　not　notice　at　all　is；　you　see；　the　beginning　of　everything。　　There　is　a　clump　of　elders　there　such　as　used　to　grow　beside　the　road　before　our　house　back　in　Winesburg；　Ohio；　and　in　among　the　elders　there　is　something　hidden。　　It　is　a　woman；　that's　what　it　is。　　She　has　been　thrown　from　a　horse　and　the　horse　has　run　away　out　of　sight。　　Do　you　not　see　how　the　old　man　who　drives　a　cart　looks　anxiously　about？　That　is　Thad　Grayback　who　has　a　farm　up　the　road。　　He　is　taking　corn　to　Winesburg　to　be　ground　into　meal　at　Comstock's　mill。　　He　knows　there　is　something　in　the　elders；　something　hidden　away；　and　yet　he　doesn't　quite　know。

〃It's　a　woman　you　see；　that's　what　it　is！　It's　a　woman　and；　oh；　she　is　lovely！　She　is　hurt　and　is　suffering　but　she　makes　no　sound。　　Don't　you　see　how　it　is？　She　lies　quite　still；　white　and　still；　and　the　beauty　comes　out　from　her　and　spreads　over　everything。　　It　is　in　the　sky　back　there　and　all　around　everywhere。　　I　didn't　try　to　paint　the　woman；　of　course。　　She　is　too　beautiful　to　be　painted。　　How　dull　to　talk　of　composition　and　such　things！　Why　do　you　not　look　at　the　sky　and　then　run　away　as　I　used　to　do　when　I　was　a　boy　back　there　in　Winesburg；　Ohio？〃

That　is　the　kind　of　thing　young　Enoch　Robinson　trembled　to　say　to　the　guests　who　came　into　his　room　when　he　was　a　young　fellow　in　New　York　City；　but　he　always　ended　by　saying　nothing。　　Then　he　began　to　doubt　his　own　mind。　　He　was　afraid　the　things　he　felt　were　not　getting　expressed　in　the　pictures　he　painted。　　In　a　half　indignant　mood　he　stopped　inviting　people　into　his　room　and　presently　got　into　the　habit　of　locking　the　door。　　He　began　to　think　that　enough　people　had　visited　him；　that　he　did　not　need　people　any　more。　　With　quick　imagina…　tion　he　began　to　invent　his　own　people　to　whom　he　could　really　talk　and　to　whom　he　explained　the　things　he　had　been　unable　to　explain　to　living　peo…　ple。　　His　room　began　to　be　inhabited　by　the　spirits　of　men　and　women　among　whom　he　went；　in　his　turn　saying　words。　　It　was　as　though　everyone　Enoch　Robinson　had　ever　seen　had　left　with　him　some　es…　sence　of　himself；　something　he　could　mould　and　change　to　suit　his　own　fancy；　something　that　under…　stood　all　about　such　things　as　the　wounded　woman　behind　the　elders　in　the　pictures。

The　mild；　blue…eyed　young　Ohio　boy　was　a　com…　plete　egotist；　as　all　children　are　egotists。　　He　did　not　want　friends　for　the　quite　simple　reason　that　no　child　wants　friends。　　He　wanted　most　of　all　the　peo…　ple　of　his　own　mind；　people　with　whom　he　could　really　talk；　people　he　could　harangue　and　scold　by　the　hour；　servants；　you　see；　to　his　fancy。　　Among　these　people　he　was　always　self…confident　and　bold。　They　might　talk；　to　be　sure；　and　even　have　opinions　of　their　own；　but　always　he　talked　last　and　best。　　He　was　like　a　writer　busy　among　the　figures　of　his　brain；　a　kind　of　tiny　blue…eyed　king　he　was；　in　a　six…　dollar　room　facing　Washington　Square　in　the　city　of　New　York。

Then　Enoch　Robinson　got　married。　　He　began　to　get　lonely　and　to　want　to　touch　actual　flesh…and…　bone　people　with　his　hands。　　Days　passed　when　his　room　seemed　empty。　　Lust　visited　his　body　and　de…　sire　grew　in　his　mind。　　At　night　strange　fevers；　burn…　ing　within；　kept　him　awake。　　He　married　a　girl　who　sat　in　a　chair　next　to　his　own　in　the　art　school　and　went　to　live　in　an　apartment　house　in　Brooklyn。　　Two　children　were　born　to　the　woman　he　married；　and　Enoch　got　a　job　in　a　place　where　illustrations　are　made　for　advertisements。

That　began　another　phase　of　Enoch's　life。　　He　began　to　play　at　a　new　game。　　For　a　while　he　was　very　proud　of　himself　in　the　role　of　producing　citi…　zen　of　the　world。　　He　dismissed　the　essence　of　things　and　played　with　realities。　　In　the　fall　he　voted　at　an　election　and　he　had　a　newspaper　thrown　on　his　porch　each　morning。　　When　in　the　evening　he　came　home　from　work　he　got　off　a　streetcar　and　walked　sedately　along　behind　some　business　man；　striving　to　look　very　substantial　and　important。　　As　a　payer　of　taxes　he　thought　he　should　post　himself　on　how　things　are　run。　　〃I'm　getting　to　be　of　some　moment；　a　real　part　of　things；　of　the　state　and　the　city　and　all　that；〃　he　told　himself　with　an　amusing　miniature　air　of　dignity。　　Once；　coming　home　from　Philadel…　phia；　he　had　a　discussion　with　a　man　met　on　a　train。　Enoch　talked　about　the　advisability　of　the　govern…　ment's　owning　and　operating　the　railroads　and　the　man　gave　him　a　cigar。　　It　was　Enoch's　notion　that　such　a　move　on　the　part　of　the　government　would　be　a　good　thing；　and　he　grew　quite　excited　as　he　talked。　　Later　he　remembered　his　own　words　with　pleasure。　　〃I　gave　him　something　to　think　about；　that　fellow；〃　he　muttered　to　himself　as　he　climbed　the　stairs　to　his　Brooklyn　apartment。

To　be　sure；　Enoch's　marriage　did　not　turn　out。　　He　himself　brought　it　to　an　end。　　He　began　to　feel　choked　and　walled　in　by　the　life　in　the　apartment；　and　to　feel　toward　his　wife　and　even　toward　his　children　as　he　had　felt　concerning　the　friends　who　once　came　to　visit　him。　　He　began　to　tell　little　lies　about　business　engagements　that　would　give　him　freedom　to　walk　alone　in　the　street　at　night　and；　the　chance　offering；　he　secretly　re…rented　the　room　fac…　ing　Washington　Square。　　Then　Mrs。　Al　Robinson　died　on　the　farm　near　Winesburg；　and　he　got　eight　thousand　dollars　from　the　bank　that　acted　as　trustee　of　her　estate。　　That　took　Enoch　out　of　the　world　of　men　altogether。　　He　gave　the　money　to　his　wife　and　told　her　he　could　not　live　in　the　apartment　any　more。　　She　cried　and　was　angry　and　threatened；　but　he　only　stared　at　her　and　went　his　own　way。　　In　reality　the　wife　did　not　care　much。　　She　thought　Enoch　slightly　insane　and　was　a　little　afraid　of　him。　When　it　was　quite　sure　that　he　would　never　come　back；　she　took　the　two　children　and　went　to　a　village　in　Connecticut　where　she　had　lived　as　a　girl。　　In　the　end　she　married　a　man　who　bought　and　sold　real　estate　and　was　contented　enough。

And　so　Enoch　Robinson　stayed　in　the　New　York　room　among　the　people　of　his　fancy；　playing　with　them；　talking　to　them；　happy　as　a　child　is　happy。　They　were　an　odd　lot；　Enoch's　people。　　They　were　made；　I　suppose；　out　of　rea