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Penrod
by Booth Tarkington
TO
JOHN; DONALD AND BOOTH JAMESON
FROM A GRATEFUL UNCLE
CONTENTS
CHAPTER
I。 A Boy and His Dog
II。 Romance
III。 The Costume
IV。 Desperation
V。 The Pageant of the Table Round
VI。 Evening
VII。 Evils of Drink
VIII。 School
IX。 Soaring
X。 Uncle John
XI。 Fidelity of a Little Dog
XII。 Miss Rennsdale Accepts
XIII。 The Smallpox Medicine
XIV。 Maurice Levy's Constitution
XV。 The Two Families
XVI。 The New Star
XVII。 Retiring from the Show…Business
XVIII。 Music
XIX。 The Inner Boy
XX。 Brothers of Angels
XXI。 Rupe Collins
XXII。 The Imitator
XXIII。 Coloured Troops in Action
XXIV。 〃Little Gentleman〃
XXV。 Tar
XXVI。 The Quiet Afternoon
XXVII。 Conclusion of the Quiet Afternoon
XXVIII。 Twelve
XXIX。 Fanchon
XXX。 The Birthday Party
XXXI。 Over the Fence
CHAPTER I
A BOY AND HIS DOG
Penrod sat morosely upon the back fence and gazed with envy at
Duke; his wistful dog。
A bitter soul dominated the various curved and angular
surfaces known by a careless world as the face of Penrod
Schofield。 Except in solitude; that face was almost always
cryptic and emotionless; for Penrod had come into his twelfth
year wearing an expression carefully trained to be inscrutable。
Since the world was sure to misunderstand everything; mere
defensive instinct prompted him to give it as little as possible
to lay hold upon。 Nothing is more impenetrable than the
face of a boy who has learned this; and Penrod's was habitually
as fathomless as the depth of his hatred this morning for the
literary activities of Mrs。 Lora Rewbushan almost universally
respected fellow citizen; a lady of charitable and poetic
inclinations; and one of his own mother's most intimate friends。
Mrs。 Lora Rewbush had written something which she called 〃The
Children's Pageant of the Table Round;〃 and it was to be
performed in public that very afternoon at the Women's Arts and
Guild Hall for the benefit of the Coloured Infants' Betterment
Society。 And if any flavour of sweetness remained in the nature
of Penrod Schofield after the dismal trials of the school…week
just past; that problematic; infinitesimal remnant was made
pungent acid by the imminence of his destiny to form a prominent
feature of the spectacle; and to declaim the loathsome sentiments
of a character named upon the programme the Child Sir Lancelot。
After each rehearsal he had plotted escape; and only ten days
earlier there had been a glimmer of light: Mrs。 Lora Rewbush
caught a very bad cold; and it was hoped it might develop into
pneumonia; but she recovered so quickly that not even a rehearsal
of the Children's Pageant was postponed。 Darkness closed in。
Penrod had rather vaguely debated plans for a self…mutilation
such as would make his appearance as the Child Sir Lancelot
inexpedient on public grounds; it was a heroic and attractive
thought; but the results of some extremely sketchy preliminary
experiments caused him to abandon it。
There was no escape; and at last his hour was hard upon him。
Therefore he brooded on the fence and gazed with envy at his
wistful Duke。
The dog's name was undescriptive of his person; which was
obviously the result of a singular series of mesalliances。 He
wore a grizzled moustache and indefinite whiskers; he was small
and shabby; and looked like an old postman。 Penrod envied Duke
because he was sure Duke would never be compelled to be a Child
Sir Lancelot。 He thought a dog free and unshackled to go or come
as the wind listeth。 Penrod forgot the life he led Duke。
There was a long soliloquy upon the fence; a plaintive
monologue without words: the boy's thoughts were adjectives; but
they were expressed by a running film of pictures in his mind's
eye; morbidly prophetic of the hideosities before him。 Finally
he spoke aloud; with such spleen that Duke rose from his haunches
and lifted one ear in keen anxiety。
〃‘I hight Sir Lancelot du Lake; the Child;
Gentul…hearted; meek; and mild。
What though I'm BUT a littul child;
Gentul…hearted; meek; and' OOF!〃
All of this except 〃oof〃 was a quotation from the Child Sir
Lancelot; as conceived by Mrs。 Lora Rewbush。 Choking upon it;
Penrod slid down from the fence; and with slow and thoughtful
steps entered a one…storied wing of the stable; consisting of a
single apartment; floored with cement and used as a storeroom for
broken bric…a…brac; old paint…buckets; decayed garden…hose; worn…
out carpets; dead furniture; and other condemned odds and ends
not yet considered hopeless enough to be given away。
In one corner stood a large box; a part of the building
itself: it was eight feet high and open at the top; and it had
been constructed as a sawdust magazine from which was drawn
material for the horse's bed in a stall on the other side of the
partition。 The big box; so high and towerlike; so commodious; so
suggestive; had ceased to fulfil its legitimate function; though;
providentially; it had been at least half full of sawdust when
the horse died。 Two years had gone by since that passing; an
interregnum in transportation during which Penrod's father was
〃thinking〃 (he explained sometimes) of an automobile。 Meanwhile;
the gifted and generous sawdust…box had served brilliantly in war
and peace: it was Penrod's stronghold。
There was a partially defaced sign upon the front wall of the
box; the donjon…keep had known mercantile impulses:
The O。 K。 RaBiT Co。
PENROD ScHoFiELD AND CO。
iNQuiRE FOR PRicEs
This was a venture of the preceding vacation; and had netted;
at one time; an accrued and owed profit of 1。38。 Prospects had
been brightest on the very eve of cataclysm。 The storeroom was
locked and guarded; but twenty…seven rabbits and Belgian hares;
old and young; had perished here on a single nightthrough no
human agency; but in a foray of cats; the besiegers treacherously
tunnelling up through the sawdust from the small aperture which
opened into the stall beyond the partition。 Commerce has its
martyrs。
Penrod climbed upon a barrel; stood on tiptoe; grasped the
rim of the box; then; using a knot…hole as a stirrup; threw one
leg over the top; drew himself up; and dropped within。 Standing
upon the packed sawdust; he was just tall enough to see over the
top。
Duke had not followed him into the storeroom; but remained
near the open doorway in a concave and pessimistic attitude。
Penrod felt in a dark corner of the box and laid hands upon a
simple apparatus consisting of an old bushel…basket with a few
yards of clothes…line tied to each of its handles。 He passed the
ends of the lines over a big spool; which revolved upon an axle
of wire suspended from a beam overhead; and; with the aid of this
improvised pulley; lowered the empty basket until it came to rest
in an upright position upon the floor of the storeroom at the
foot of the sawdust…box。
〃Eleva…ter!〃 shouted Penrod。 〃Ting…ting!〃
Duke; old and intelligently apprehensive; approached slowly;
in a semicircular manner; deprecatingly; but with courtesy。 He
pawed the basket delicately; then; as if that were all his master
had expected of him; uttered one bright bark; sat down; and
looked up triumphantly。 His hypocrisy was shallow: many a
horrible quarter of an hour had taught him his duty in this
matter。
〃El…e…VAY…ter!〃 shouted Penrod sternly。 〃You want me to
come down there to you?〃
Duke looked suddenly haggard。 He pawed the basket feebly
again and; upon another outburst from on high; prostrated himself
flat。 Again threatened; he gave a superb impersonation of a
worm。
〃You get in that el…e…VAY…ter!〃
Reckless with despair; Duke jumped into the basket; landing
in a dishevelled posture; which he did not alter until he had
been drawn up and poured out upon the floor of sawdust with the
box。 There; shuddering; he lay in doughnut shape and presently
slumbered。
It was dark in the box; a condition that might have been
remedied by sliding back a small wooden panel on runners; which
would have let in ample light from the alley; but Penrod
Schofield had more interesting means of illumination。 He knelt;
and from a former soap…box; in a corner; took a lantern;
without a chimney; and a large oil…can; the leak in the latter
being so nearly imperceptible that its banishment from household
use had seemed to Penrod as inexplicable as it was providential。
He shook the lantern near his ear: nothing splashed; there
was no sound but a dry clinking。 But there was plenty of
kerosene in the can; and he filled the lantern; striking a match
to illumine the operation。 Then he lit the lantern and hung it
upon a nail against the wall。 The sawdust floor was slightly
impregnated with oil; and the open flame quivered in suggestive
proximity to the side of the box; however; some rather deep
charrings of the plank against which the lantern hung offered
evidence that the arrangement was by no means a new one; and
indicated at least a possibility of no fatality occurring this
time。
Next; Penrod turned up the surface of the sawdust in another
corner of the floor; and drew forth a cigar…box in which were
half a dozen cigarettes; made of hayseed and thick brown wrapping
paper; a lead…pencil; an eraser; and a small note…book; the cover
of which was labelled in his own handwriting:
〃English Grammar。 Penrod Schofield。 Room 6; Ward School
Nomber Seventh。〃
The first page of this book was purely academic; but the
study of English undefiled terminated with a slight jar at the
top of the second: 〃Nor must an adverb be used to modif〃
Immedia