penrod-第31部分

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〃Look　at　policemen！〃　shouted　Sam　triumphantly。　　‘You

don't　s'pose　anybody　can　make　policemen　get　married；　I　reckon；　do

you？〃



〃Well；　policemen；　maybe；〃　Maurice　was　forced　to　admit。　

〃Policemen　and　teachers　don't；　but　everybody　else　gotta。〃



〃Well；　I'll　be　a　policeman；〃　said　Sam。　　〃THEN　I　guess

they　won't　come　around　tellin'　me　I　have　to　get　married。　　What

you　goin'　to　be；　Penrod？〃



〃Chief　police；〃　said　the　laconic　Penrod。



〃What　you？〃　Sam　inquired　of　quiet　Georgie　Bassett。



〃I　am　going　to　be；〃　said　Georgie；　consciously；　〃a　minister。〃



This　announcement　created　a　sensation　so　profound　that　it　was

followed　by　silence。　　Herman　was　the　first　to　speak。



〃You　mean　preachuh？〃　he　asked　incredulously。　　〃You　go'

PREACH？〃



〃Yes；〃　answered　Georgie；　looking　like　Saint　Cecilia　at　the

organ。



Herman　was　impressed。　　〃You　know　all　'at　preachuh　talk？〃



〃I'm　going　to　learn　it；〃　said　Georgie　simply。



〃How　loud　kin　you　holler？〃　asked　Herman　doubtfully。



〃He　can't　holler　at　all；〃　Penrod　interposed　with　scorn。　　〃He

hollers　like　a　girl。　　He's　the　poorest　hollerer　in　town！〃



Herman　shook　his　head。　　Evidently　he　thought　Georgie's

chance　of　being　ordained　very　slender。　　Nevertheless；　a　final

question　put　to　the　candidate　by　the　coloured　expert　seemed　to

admit　one　ray　of　hope。



〃How　good　kin　you　clim　a　pole？〃



〃He　can't　climb　one　at　all；〃　Penrod　answered　for　Georgie。　

〃Over　at　Sam's　turning…pole　you　ought　to　see　him　try　to〃



〃Preachers　don't　have　to　climb　poles；〃　Georgie　said　with

dignity。



〃GOOD　ones　do；〃　declared　Herman。　　〃Bes'　one　ev'　_I_

hear；　he　clim　up　an'　down　same　as　a　circus　man。　　One　n'em　big

'vivals　outen　whens　we　livin'　on　a　fahm；　preachuh　clim　big　pole

right　in　a　middle　o'　the　church；　what　was　to　hol'　roof　up。　　He

clim　way　high　up；　an'　holler：　　‘Goin'　to　heavum；　goin'　to　heavum；

goin'　to　heavum　NOW。　　Hallelujah；　praise　my　Lawd！'　　An'　he

slide　down　little；　an'　holler：　　‘Devil's　got　a　hol'　o'　my　coat…

tails；　devil　tryin'　to　drag　me　down！　　Sinnuhs；　take　wawnun！　

Devil　got　a　hol'　o'　my　coat…tails；　I'm　a…goin'　to　hell；　oh　Lawd！'

Nex'；　he　clim　up　little　mo'；　an'　yell　an'　holler：　　‘Done　shuck

ole　devil　loose；　goin'　straight　to　heavum　agin！　　Goin'　to　heavum；

goin'　to　heavum；　my　Lawd！'　　Nex'；　he　slide　down　some　mo'　an'

holler；　‘Leggo　my　coat…tails；　ole　devil！　　Goin'　to　hell　agin；

sinnuhs！　　Goin'　straight　to　hell；　my　Lawd！'　　An'　he　clim　an'　he

slide；　an'　he　slide；　an'　he　clim；　an'　all　time　holler：　　‘Now　'm

a…goin'　to　heavum；　now　'm　a…goin'　to　hell！　　Goin'to　heavum；

heavum；　heavum；　my　Lawd！'　　Las'　he　slide　all　a…way　down；

jes'　a…squallin'　an'　a…kickin'　an'　a…rarin'　up　an'　squealin'；

‘Goin'　to　hell。　　Goin'　to　hell！　　Ole　Satum　got　my　soul！　　Goin'　to

hell！　　Goin'　to　hell！　　Goin'　to　hell；　hell；　hell！〃



Herman　possessed　that　extraordinary　facility　for　vivid　acting

which　is　the　great　native　gift　of　his　race；　and　he　enchained　his

listeners。　　They　sat　fascinated　and　spellbound。



〃Herman；　tell　that　again！〃　said　Penrod；　breathlessly。



Herman；　nothing　loath；　accepted　the　encore　and　repeated　the

Miltonic　episode；　expanding　it　somewhat；　and　dwelling　with　a　fine

art　upon　those　portions　of　the　narrative　which　he　perceived　to　be

most　exciting　to　his　audience。　　Plainly；　they　thrilled　less　to

Paradise　gained　than　to　its　losing；　and　the　dreadful　climax　of

the　descent　into　the　Pit　was　the　greatest　treat　of　all。



The　effect　was　immense　and　instant。　　Penrod　sprang　to　his

feet。



〃Georgie　Bassett　couldn't　do　that　to　save　his　life；〃　he

declared。　　〃_I_'m　goin'　to　be　a　preacher！　　I'D　be　all　right

for　one；　wouldn't　I；　Herman？〃



〃So　am　I！〃　Sam　Williams　echoed　loudly。　　〃I　guess　I　can　do　it

if　YOU　can。　　I'd　be　better'n　Penrod；　wouldn't　I；　Herman？〃



〃I　am；　too！〃　Maurice　shouted。　　〃I　got　a　stronger　voice　than

anybody　here；　and　I'd　like　to　know　what〃



The　three　clamoured　together　indistinguishably；　each

asserting　his　qualifications　for　the　ministry　according　to

Herman's　theory；　which　had　been　accepted　by　these　sudden　converts

without　question。



〃Listen　to　ME！〃　Maurice　bellowed；　proving　his　claim　to　at

least　the　voice　by　drowning　the　others。　　〃Maybe　I　can't　climb　a

pole　so　good；　but　who　can　holler　louder'n　this？　　Listen　to

ME…E…E！〃



〃Shut　up！〃　cried　Penrod；　irritated。　　〃Go　to　heaven；　go　to

hell！〃



〃Oo…o…oh！〃　exclaimed　Georgie　Bassett；　profoundly　shocked。



Sam　and　Maurice；　awed　by　Penrod's　daring；　ceased　from

turmoil；　staring　wide…eyed。



〃You　cursed　and　swore！〃　said　Georgie。



〃I　did　not！〃　cried　Penrod；　hotly。　　〃That　isn't　swearing。〃



〃You　said；　‘Go　to　a　big　H'！〃　said　Georgie。



〃I　did　not！　　I　said；　‘Go　to　heaven；'　before　I　said　a　big　H。

That　isn't　swearing；　is　it；　Herman？　　It's　almost　what　the

preacher　said；　ain't　it；　Herman？　　It　ain't　swearing　now；　any

morenot　if　you　put　‘go　to　heaven'　with　it；　is　it；　Herman？　　You

can　say　it　all　you　want　to；　long　as　you　say　‘go　to　heaven'　first；

CAN'T　you；　Herman？　　Anybody　can　say　it　if　the　preacher　says

it；　can't　they；　Herman？　　I　guess　I　know　when　I　ain't　swearing；

don't　I；　Herman？〃



Judge　Herman　ruled　for　the　defendant；　and　Penrod　was

considered　to　have　carried　his　point。　　With　fine

consistency；　the　conclave　established　that　it　was　proper　for　the

general　public　to　〃say　it；〃　provided　〃go　to　heaven〃　should　in　all

cases　precede　it。　　This　prefix　was　pronounced　a　perfect

disinfectant；　removing　all　odour　of　impiety　or　insult；　and；　with

the　exception　of　Georgie　Bassett　（who　maintained　that　the

minister's　words　were　〃going〃　and　〃gone；〃　not　〃go〃）；　all　the　boys

proceeded　to　exercise　their　new　privilege　so　lavishly　that　they

tired　of　it。



But　there　was　no　diminution　of　evangelical　ardour；　again　were

heard　the　clamours　of　dispute　as　to　which　was　the　best　qualified

for　the　ministry；　each　of　the　claimants　appealing　passionately　to

Herman；　who；　pleased　but　confused；　appeared　to　be　incapable　of

arriving　at　a　decision。



During　a　pause；　Georgie　Bassett　asserted　his　prior　rights。　

〃Who　said　it　first；　I'd　like　to　know？〃　he　demanded。　　〃I　was　going

to　be　a　minister　from　long　back　of　to…day；　I　guess。　　And　I　guess

I　said　I　was　going　to　be　a　minister　right　to…day　before　any　of

you　said　anything　at　all。　　DIDN'T　I；　Herman？　　YOU　heard

me；　didn't　you；　Herman？　　That's　the　very　thing　started　you

talking　about　it；　wasn't　it；　Herman？〃



〃You'　right；〃　said　Herman。　　〃You　the　firs'　one　to　say　it。〃



Penrod；　Sam；　and　Maurice　immediately　lost　faith　in　Herman。　



〃What　if　you　did　say　it　first？〃　Penrod　shouted。　　〃You

couldn't　BE　a　minister　if　you　were　a　hunderd　years　old！〃



〃I　bet　his　mother　wouldn't　let　him　be　one；〃　said　Sam。　　〃She

never　lets　him　do　anything。〃



〃She　would；　too；〃　retorted　Georgie。　　〃Ever　since　I　was

little；　she〃



〃He's　too　sissy　to　be　a　preacher！〃　cried　Maurice。　　〃Listen　at

his　squeaky　voice！〃



〃I'm　going　to　be　a　better　minister；〃　shouted　Georgie；　〃than

all　three　of　you　put　together。　　I　could　do　it　with　my　left　hand！〃



The　three　laughed　bitingly　in　chorus。　　They　jeered；　derided；

scoffed；　and　raised　an　uproar　which　would　have　had　its　effect

upon　much　stronger　nerves　than　Georgie's。　　For　a　time　he

contained　his　rising　choler　and　chanted　monotonously；　over　and

over：　　〃I　COULD！　　I　COULD；　TOO！　　I　COULD！　　I　COULD；　TOO！〃　

But　their　tumult　wore　upon　him；　and　he　decided　to　avail　himself

of　the　recent　decision　whereby　a　big　H　was　rendered　innocuous　and

unprofane。　　Having　used　the　expression　once；　he　found　it

comforting；　and　substituted　it　for：　　〃I　could！　　I　could；　too！〃



But　it　relieved　him　only　temporarily。　　His　tormentors　were

unaffected　by　it　and　increased　their　howlings；　until　at　last

Georgie　lost　his　head　altogether。　　Badgered　beyond　bearing；　his

eyes　shining　with　a　wild　light；　he　broke　through　the　besieging

trio；　hurling　little　Maurice　from　his　path　with　a　frantic

hand。



〃I'll　show　you！〃　he　cried；　in　this　sudden　frenzy。　　〃You　give

me　a　chance；　and　I'll　prove　it　right　NOW！〃



〃That's　talkin'　business！〃　shouted　Penrod。　　〃Everybody　keep

still　a　minute。　　Everybody！〃



He　took　command　of　the　situation　at　once；　displaying　a　fine

capacity　for　organization　and　system。　　It　needed　only　a　few

minutes　to　set　order　in　the　place　of　confusion　and　to　determine；

with　the　full　concurrence　of　all　parties；　the　conditions　under

which　Georgie　Bassett　was　to　defend　his　claim　by　undergoing　what

may　be　perhaps　intelligibly　defined　as　the　Herman　test。　　Georgie

declared　he　could　do　it　easily。　　He　was　in　a　state　of　great

excitement　and　in　no　condition　to　think　calmly　or；　probably；　he

would　not　have　made　the　attempt　at　all。　　Certainly　he　was

overconfident。　

　





CHAPTER　XXVII

CONCLUSION　OF　THE　QUIET　AFTERNOON



It　was　during　the　discussion　of　the　details　of　this　enterprise

that　Georgie's　mother；　a　short　distance　down　the　street；　received

a　few　female　callers；　who　came　by　appointment　to　drink　a　glass　of

iced　tea　with　her；　and　to　meet　the　Rev。　Mr。　Kinosling。　　Mr。

Kinosling　was　proving　almost　formidably　interesting　to　the　women

and　girls　of　his　own　and　other　flocks。　　What　favour　of　his　fellow

clergymen　a　slight　precociousness　of　manner　and　pronunciation

cost　him　was　more　than　balanced　by　the　visible　ecstasies　of

ladies。　　They　blossomed　at　his　touch。



He　had　just　entered　Mrs。　Bassett's　front　door；　when　the　son

of　the　house；　followed　by　an　intent　and　earnest　company　of　four；

opened　the　alley　gate　and　came　into　the　yard。　　The　unconscious

Mrs。　Bassett　was　about　to　have　her　first　experience　of　a　fatal

coincidence。　　It　was　her　first；　because　she　was　the　mother　of　a

boy　so　well　behaved　that　he　had　become　a　proverb　of

transcendency。　　Fatal　coincidences　were　plentiful　in　the

Schofield　and　Williams　families；　and　would　have　been　familiar　to

Mrs。　Bassett　had　Georgie　been　permitted　greater　intimacy　with

Penrod　and　Sam。



Mr。　Kinosling　sipped　his　iced　tea　and