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that¡¡had¡¡caused¡¡the¡¡greatest¡¡astonishment¡¡of¡¡his¡¡long¡¡and¡¡honourable

life¡£¡¡In¡¡this¡¡most¡¡pitiable¡¡state¡¡he¡¡saw¡¡in¡¡the¡¡fields¡¡during¡¡the

merry¡¡month¡¡of¡¡May¡¡a¡¡girl£»¡¡who¡¡by¡¡chance¡¡was¡¡a¡¡maiden£»¡¡and¡¡minding

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after¡¡the¡¡custom¡¡of¡¡people¡¡who¡¡labour¡¡in¡¡the¡¡fields£»¡¡in¡¡order¡¡to¡¡get¡¡a

little¡¡nap¡¡while¡¡her¡¡animals¡¡were¡¡grazing¡£¡¡She¡¡was¡¡awakened¡¡by¡¡the

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could¡¡only¡¡lose¡¡once¡£¡¡Finding¡¡herself¡¡ruined¡¡without¡¡receiving¡¡from

the¡¡process¡¡either¡¡knowledge¡¡or¡¡pleasure£»¡¡she¡¡cried¡¡out¡¡so¡¡loudly¡¡that

the¡¡people¡¡working¡¡in¡¡the¡¡fields¡¡ran¡¡to¡¡her£»¡¡and¡¡were¡¡called¡¡upon¡¡by

her¡¡as¡¡witnesses£»¡¡at¡¡the¡¡time¡¡when¡¡that¡¡destruction¡¡was¡¡visible¡¡in¡¡her

which¡¡is¡¡appropriate¡¡only¡¡to¡¡a¡¡bridal¡¡night¡£¡¡She¡¡cried¡¡and¡¡groaned£»

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her¡¡mother£»¡¡who¡¡would¡¡have¡¡said¡¡nothing¡£



He¡¡made¡¡answer¡¡to¡¡the¡¡peasants£»¡¡who¡¡had¡¡already¡¡raised¡¡their¡¡hoes¡¡to

kill¡¡him£»¡¡that¡¡he¡¡had¡¡been¡¡compelled¡¡to¡¡enjoy¡¡himself¡£¡¡These¡¡people

objected¡¡that¡¡a¡¡man¡¡can¡¡enjoy¡¡himself¡¡very¡¡well¡¡without¡¡enjoying¡¡a

maidena¡¡case¡¡for¡¡the¡¡provost£»¡¡which¡¡would¡¡bring¡¡him¡¡straight¡¡to¡¡the

gallows£»¡¡and¡¡he¡¡was¡¡taken¡¡with¡¡great¡¡clamour¡¡to¡¡the¡¡jail¡¡of¡¡Rouen¡£



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in¡¡order¡¡to¡¡do¡¡something£»¡¡and¡¡that¡¡she¡¡thought¡¡she¡¡was¡¡dreaming¡¡of¡¡her

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let¡¡him¡¡reconnoiter¡¡to¡¡a¡¡certain¡¡extent£»¡¡in¡¡order¡¡to¡¡avoid¡¡any¡¡dispute

afterwards£»¡¡and¡¡that¡¡in¡¡spite¡¡of¡¡her¡¡prohibitions¡¡he¡¡went¡¡further¡¡than

she¡¡had¡¡given¡¡him¡¡leave¡¡to¡¡go£»¡¡and¡¡finding¡¡more¡¡pain¡¡than¡¡pleasure¡¡in

the¡¡affair£»¡¡she¡¡had¡¡been¡¡awakened¡¡by¡¡Vieux¡¡par¡­Chemins£»¡¡who¡¡had

attacked¡¡her¡¡as¡¡a¡¡gray¡­friar¡¡would¡¡a¡¡ham¡¡at¡¡the¡¡end¡¡of¡¡lent¡£



This¡¡trial¡¡caused¡¡so¡¡great¡¡a¡¡commotion¡¡in¡¡the¡¡town¡¡of¡¡Rouen¡¡that¡¡the

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the¡¡thing¡¡were¡¡true¡£¡¡Upon¡¡the¡¡affirmation¡¡of¡¡the¡¡provost£»¡¡he¡¡ordered

Vieux¡¡par¡­Chemins¡¡to¡¡be¡¡brought¡¡to¡¡his¡¡palace£»¡¡in¡¡order¡¡that¡¡he¡¡might

hear¡¡what¡¡defence¡¡he¡¡had¡¡to¡¡make¡£¡¡The¡¡poor¡¡old¡¡fellow¡¡appeared¡¡before

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impulsive¡¡nature¡¡brought¡¡upon¡¡him£»¡¡declaring¡¡that¡¡he¡¡was¡¡like¡¡a¡¡young

fellow¡¡impelled¡¡by¡¡imperious¡¡desires£»¡¡that¡¡up¡¡to¡¡the¡¡present¡¡year¡¡he

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taken¡¡a¡¡dislike¡¡to¡¡his¡¡hair£»¡¡which¡¡had¡¡feloniously¡¡turned¡¡white¡¡in

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full¡¡length¡¡under¡¡the¡¡beech¡¡tree£»¡¡left¡¡visible¡¡the¡¡lining¡¡of¡¡her¡¡dress

and¡¡two¡¡hemispheres£»¡¡white¡¡as¡¡snow£»¡¡which¡¡had¡¡deprived¡¡him¡¡of¡¡reason£»

that¡¡the¡¡fault¡¡was¡¡the¡¡girl's¡¡and¡¡not¡¡his£»¡¡because¡¡young¡¡maidens

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caused¡¡Venus¡¡to¡¡be¡¡named¡¡Callipyge£»¡¡finally¡¡the¡¡prince¡¡ought¡¡to¡¡be

aware¡¡what¡¡trouble¡¡a¡¡man¡¡had¡¡to¡¡control¡¡himself¡¡at¡¡the¡¡hour¡¡of¡¡noon£»

because¡¡that¡¡was¡¡the¡¡time¡¡of¡¡day¡¡at¡¡which¡¡King¡¡David¡¡was¡¡smitten¡¡with

the¡¡wife¡¡of¡¡the¡¡Sieur¡¡Uriah£»¡¡that¡¡where¡¡a¡¡Hebrew¡¡king£»¡¡beloved¡¡of¡¡God£»

had¡¡succumbed£»¡¡a¡¡poor¡¡man£»¡¡deprived¡¡of¡¡all¡¡joy£»¡¡and¡¡reduced¡¡to¡¡begging

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done¡¡a¡¡trifling¡¡injury¡¡to¡¡a¡¡peasant¡¡girl¡£¡¡The¡¡duke¡¡listened¡¡to¡¡the

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parts¡£¡¡Then¡¡he¡¡made¡¡his¡¡memorable¡¡decree£»¡¡that¡¡if£»¡¡as¡¡this¡¡beggar

declared£»¡¡he¡¡had¡¡need¡¡of¡¡such¡¡gratification¡¡at¡¡his¡¡age¡¡he¡¡gave

permission¡¡to¡¡prove¡¡it¡¡at¡¡the¡¡foot¡¡of¡¡the¡¡ladder¡¡which¡¡he¡¡would¡¡have

to¡¡mount¡¡to¡¡be¡¡hanged£»¡¡according¡¡to¡¡the¡¡sentence¡¡already¡¡passed¡¡on¡¡him

by¡¡the¡¡provost£»¡¡that¡¡if¡¡then£»¡¡the¡¡rope¡¡being¡¡round¡¡his¡¡neck£»¡¡between

the¡¡priest¡¡and¡¡the¡¡hangman£»¡¡a¡¡like¡¡desire¡¡seized¡¡him¡¡he¡¡should¡¡have¡¡a

free¡¡pardon¡£



This¡¡decree¡¡becoming¡¡known£»¡¡there¡¡was¡¡a¡¡tremendous¡¡crowd¡¡to¡¡see¡¡the

old¡¡fellow¡¡led¡¡to¡¡the¡¡gallows¡£¡¡There¡¡was¡¡a¡¡line¡¡drawn¡¡up¡¡as¡¡if¡¡for¡¡a

ducal¡¡entry£»¡¡and¡¡in¡¡it¡¡many¡¡more¡¡bonnets¡¡than¡¡hats¡£¡¡Vieux¡¡par¡­Chemins

was¡¡saved¡¡by¡¡a¡¡lady¡¡curious¡¡to¡¡see¡¡how¡¡this¡¡precious¡¡violator¡¡would

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should¡¡have¡¡a¡¡fair¡¡chance¡£¡¡And¡¡she¡¡dressed¡¡herself¡¡as¡¡if¡¡for¡¡a¡¡ball£»

she¡¡brought¡¡intentionally¡¡into¡¡evidence¡¡two¡¡hillocks¡¡of¡¡such¡¡snowy

whiteness¡¡that¡¡the¡¡whitest¡¡linen¡¡neckerchief¡¡would¡¡have¡¡paled¡¡before

them£»¡¡indeed£»¡¡these¡¡fruits¡¡of¡¡love¡¡stood¡¡out£»¡¡without¡¡a¡¡wrinkle£»¡¡over

her¡¡corset£»¡¡like¡¡two¡¡beautiful¡¡apples£»¡¡and¡¡made¡¡one's¡¡mouth¡¡water£»¡¡so

exquisite¡¡were¡¡they¡£¡¡This¡¡noble¡¡lady£»¡¡who¡¡was¡¡one¡¡of¡¡those¡¡who¡¡rouse

one's¡¡manhood£»¡¡had¡¡a¡¡smile¡¡ready¡¡on¡¡her¡¡lips¡¡for¡¡the¡¡old¡¡fellow¡£¡¡Vieux

par¡­Chemins£»¡¡dressed¡¡in¡¡garments¡¡of¡¡coarse¡¡cloth£»¡¡more¡¡certain¡¡of

being¡¡in¡¡the¡¡desired¡¡state¡¡after¡¡hanging¡¡than¡¡before¡¡it£»¡¡came¡¡along

between¡¡the¡¡officers¡¡of¡¡justice¡¡with¡¡a¡¡sad¡¡countenance£»¡¡glancing¡¡now

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remembered£»¡¡and¡¡they¡¡might¡¡still¡¡have¡¡saved¡¡him£»¡¡but£»¡¡as¡¡he¡¡was¡¡old£»

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the¡¡ladder£»¡¡he¡¡saw¡¡the¡¡twin¡¡charms¡¡of¡¡the¡¡lady£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡pretty¡¡delta

that¡¡their¡¡confluent¡¡rotundities¡¡produced£»¡¡the¡¡sight¡¡so¡¡much¡¡excited

him¡¡that¡¡his¡¡emotion¡¡was¡¡patent¡¡to¡¡the¡¡spectators¡£



¡¨Make¡¡haste¡¡and¡¡see¡¡that¡¡the¡¡required¡¡conditions¡¡are¡¡fulfilled£»¡¨¡¡said

he¡¡to¡¡the¡¡officers¡£¡¡¡¨I¡¡have¡¡gained¡¡my¡¡pardon¡¡but¡¡I¡¡cannot¡¡answer¡¡for

my¡¡saviour¡£¡¨



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in¡¡their¡¡wits¡¡had¡¡they¡¡seen¡¡an¡¡¡¨I¡¨¡¡so¡¡perpendicular¡¡as¡¡was¡¡the¡¡old

man¡£¡¡He¡¡was¡¡marched¡¡in¡¡triumph¡¡through¡¡the¡¡town¡¡to¡¡the¡¡palace¡¡of¡¡the

duke£»¡¡to¡¡whom¡¡the¡¡guards¡¡and¡¡others¡¡stated¡¡the¡¡facts¡£¡¡In¡¡that¡¡period

of¡¡ignorance£»¡¡this¡¡affair¡¡was¡¡thought¡¡so¡¡much¡¡of¡¡that¡¡the¡¡town¡¡voted

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pardon£»¡¡and¡¡he¡¡was¡¡portrayed¡¡thereon¡¡in¡¡stone¡¡in¡¡the¡¡attitude¡¡he

assumed¡¡at¡¡the¡¡sight¡¡of¡¡that¡¡honest¡¡and¡¡virtuous¡¡lady¡£¡¡The¡¡statue¡¡was

still¡¡to¡¡be¡¡seen¡¡when¡¡Rouen¡¡was¡¡taken¡¡by¡¡the¡¡English£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡writers

of¡¡the¡¡period¡¡have¡¡included¡¡this¡¡history¡¡among¡¡the¡¡notable¡¡events¡¡of

the¡¡reign¡£



As¡¡the¡¡town¡¡offered¡¡to¡¡supply¡¡the¡¡old¡¡man¡¡with¡¡all¡¡he¡¡required£»¡¡and

see¡¡to¡¡his¡¡sustenance£»¡¡clothing£»¡¡and¡¡amusements£»¡¡the¡¡good¡¡duke

arranged¡¡matters¡¡by¡¡giving¡¡the¡¡injured¡¡maiden¡¡a¡¡thousand¡¡crowns¡¡and

marrying¡¡her¡¡to¡¡her¡¡seducer£»¡¡who¡¡then¡¡lost¡¡his¡¡name¡¡of¡¡Vieux¡¡par¡­

Chemins¡£¡¡He¡¡was¡¡named¡¡by¡¡the¡¡duke¡¡the¡¡Sieur¡¡de¡¡Bonne¡­C¡£¡¡This


wife¡¡was¡¡confined¡¡nine¡¡months¡¡afterwards¡¡of¡¡a¡¡perfectly¡¡formed¡¡male

child£»¡¡alive¡¡and¡¡kicking£»¡¡and¡¡born¡¡with¡¡two¡¡teeth¡£¡¡From¡¡this¡¡marriage

came¡¡the¡¡house¡¡of¡¡Bonne¡­C£»¡¡who¡¡from¡¡motives¡¡modest¡¡but¡¡wrong£»

besought¡¡our¡¡well¡­beloved¡¡King¡¡Louis¡¡Eleventh¡¡to¡¡grant¡¡them¡¡letters

patent¡¡to¡¡change¡¡their¡¡names¡¡into¡¡that¡¡of¡¡Bonne¡­Chose¡£¡¡The¡¡king

pointed¡¡out¡¡to¡¡the¡¡Sieur¡¡de¡¡Bonne¡­C¡¡that¡¡there¡¡was¡¡in¡¡the¡¡state

of¡¡Venice¡¡an¡¡illustrious¡¡family¡¡named¡¡Coglioni£»¡¡who¡¡wore¡¡three

¡¨C¡¡au¡¡natural¡¨¡¡on¡¡their¡¡coat¡¡of¡¡arms¡£¡¡The¡¡gentlemen¡¡of¡¡the¡¡House

of¡¡Bonne¡­C¡¡stated¡¡to¡¡the¡¡king¡¡that¡¡their¡¡wives¡¡were¡¡ashamed¡¡to

be¡¡thus¡¡called¡¡in¡¡public¡¡assemblies£»¡¡the¡¡king¡¡answered¡¡that¡¡they¡¡would

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by¡¡this¡¡name£»¡¡and¡¡founded¡¡families¡¡in¡¡many¡¡provinces¡£¡¡The¡¡first¡¡Sieur

de¡¡Bonne¡­C¡¡lived¡¡another¡¡27¡¡years£»¡¡and¡¡had¡¡another¡¡son¡¡and¡¡two

daughters¡£¡¡But¡¡he¡¡grieved¡¡much¡¡at¡¡becoming¡¡rich£»¡¡and¡¡no¡¡longer¡¡being

able¡¡to¡¡pick¡¡up¡¡a¡¡living¡¡in¡¡the¡¡street¡£



From¡¡this¡¡you¡¡can¡¡obtain¡¡finer¡¡lessons¡¡and¡¡higher¡¡morals¡¡than¡¡from¡¡any

story¡¡you¡¡will¡¡read¡¡all¡¡your¡¡life¡¡longof¡¡course¡¡excepting¡¡these

hundred¡¡glorious¡¡Droll¡¡Talesnamely£»¡¡that¡¡never¡¡could¡¡adventure¡¡of

this¡¡sort¡¡have¡¡happened¡¡to¡¡the¡¡impaired¡¡and¡¡ruined¡¡constitutions¡¡of

court¡¡rascals£»¡¡rich¡¡people¡¡and¡¡others¡¡who¡¡dig¡¡their¡¡graves¡¡with¡¡their

teeth¡¡by¡¡over¡­eating¡¡and¡¡drinking¡¡many¡¡wines¡¡that¡¡impair¡¡the

implements¡¡of¡¡happiness£»¡¡which¡¡said¡¡over¡­fed¡¡people¡¡were¡¡lolling

luxuriously¡¡in¡¡costly¡¡draperies¡¡and¡¡on¡¡feather¡¡beds£»¡¡while¡¡the¡¡Sieur

de¡¡Bonne¡­Chose¡¡was¡¡roughing¡¡it¡£¡¡In¡¡a¡¡similar¡¡situation£»¡¡if¡¡they¡¡had

eaten¡¡cabbage£»¡¡it¡¡would¡¡have¡¡given¡¡them¡¡the¡¡diarrhoea¡£¡¡This¡¡may¡¡incite

many¡¡of¡¡those¡¡who¡¡read¡¡this¡¡story¡¡to¡¡change¡¡their¡¡mode¡¡of¡¡life£»¡¡in

order¡¡to¡¡imitate¡¡Vieux¡¡par¡­Chemins¡¡in¡¡his¡¡old¡¡age¡£







ODD¡¡SAYINGS¡¡OF¡¡THREE¡¡PILGRIMS



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in¡¡Rome£»¡¡certain¡¡pilgrims¡¡were¡¡thrown¡¡out¡¡who¡¡had¡¡set¡¡out¡¡for¡¡this

country£»¡¡and¡¡would¡¡have¡¡to¡¡pass¡¡the¡¡high¡¡Alps£»¡¡in¡¡order¡¡to¡¡gain¡¡this

said¡¡town¡¡of¡¡Rome£»¡¡where¡¡they¡¡were¡¡going¡¡to¡¡seek¡¡the¡¡/remittimus/¡¡of

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those¡¡who¡¡wore¡¡the¡¡order¡¡of¡¡Cain£»¡¡otherwise¡¡the¡¡flower¡¡of¡¡the

penitents£»¡¡all¡¡wicked¡¡fellows£»¡¡burdened¡¡with¡¡leprous¡¡souls£»¡¡which

thirsted¡¡to¡¡bathe¡¡in¡¡the¡¡papal¡¡piscina£»¡¡and¡¡all¡¡carrying¡¡with¡¡them

gold¡¡or¡¡precious¡¡things¡¡to¡¡purchase¡¡absolution£»¡¡pay¡¡for¡¡their¡¡beds£»

and¡¡present¡¡to¡¡the¡¡saints¡£¡¡You¡¡may¡¡be¡¡sure¡¡that¡¡those¡¡who¡¡drank¡¡water

going£»¡¡on¡¡their¡¡return£»¡¡if¡¡the¡¡landlords¡¡gave¡¡them¡¡water£»¡¡wished¡¡i

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