droll stories-3-第26部分
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and present to the saints。 You may be sure that those who drank water
going; on their return; if the landlords gave them water; wished it to
be the holy water of the cellar。
At this time the three pilgrims came to this said Avignon to their
injury; seeing that it was widowed of the pope。 While they were
passing the Rhodane; to reach the Mediterranean coast; one of the
three pilgrims; who had with him a son about 10 years of age; parted
company with the others; and near the town of Milan suddenly appeared
again; but without the boy。 Now in the evening; at supper; they had a
hearty feast in order to celebrate the return of the pilgrim; who they
thought had become disgusted with penitence through the pope not being
in Avignon。 Of these three roamers to Rome; one had come from the city
of Paris; the other from Germany; and the third; who doubtless wished
to instruct his son on the journey; had his home in the duchy of
Burgundy; in which he had certain fiefs; and was a younger son of the
house of Villers…la…Faye (Villa in Fago); and was named La Vaugrenand。
The German baron had met the citizen of Paris just past Lyons; and
both had accosted the Sire de la Vaugrenand in sight of Avignon。
Now in this hostelry the three pilgrims loosened their tongues; and
agreed to journey to Rome together; in order the better to resist the
foot pads; the night…birds; and other malefactors; who made it their
business to ease pilgrims of that which weighed upon their bodies
before the pope eased them of that which weighed upon their
consciences。 After drinking the three companions commenced to talk
together; for the bottle is the key of conversation; and each made
this confessionthat the cause of his pilgrimage was a woman。 The
servant who watched their drinking; told them that of a hundred
pilgrims who stopped in the locality; ninety…nine were travelling from
the same thing。 These three wise men then began to consider how
pernicious is woman to man。 The Baron showed the heavy gold chain that
he had in his hauberk to present to Saint Peter; and said his crime
was such that he would not get rid of with the value of two such
chains。 The Parisian took off his glove; and exposed a ring set with a
white diamond; saying that he had a hundred like it for the pope。 The
Burgundian took off his hat; and exhibited two wonderful pearls; that
were beautiful ear…pendants for Notre…Dame…de…Lorette; and candidly
confessed that he would rather have left them round his wife's neck。
Thereupon the servant exclaimed that their sins must have been as
great as those of Visconti。
Then the pilgrims replied that they were such that they had made a
solemn vow in their minds never to go astray again during the
remainder of their days; however beautiful the woman might be; and
this in addition to the penance which the pope might impose upon them。
Then the servant expressed her astonishment that all had made the same
vow。 The Burgundian added; that this vow had been the cause of his
lagging behind; because he had been in extreme fear that his son; in
spite of his age; might go astray; and that he had made a vow to
prevent people and beasts alike gratifying their passions in his
house; or upon his estates。 The baron having inquired the particulars
of the adventure; the sire narrated the affair as follows:
〃You know that the good Countess Jeane d'Avignon made formerly a law
for the harlots; who she compelled to live in the outskirts of the
town in houses with window…shutters painted red and closed。 Now
passing in my company in this vile neighbourhood; my lad remarked
these houses with closed window…shutters; painted red; and his
curiosity being arousedfor these ten…year old little devils have
eyes for everythinghe pulled me by the sleeve and kept on pulling
until he had learnt from me what these houses were。 Then; to obtain
peace; I told him that young lads had nothing to do with such places;
and could only enter them at the peril of their lives; because it was
a place where men and women were manufactured; and the danger was such
for anyone unacquainted with the business that if a novice entered;
flying chancres and other wild beasts would seize upon his face。 Fear
seized the lad; who then followed me to the hostelry in a state of
agitation; and not daring to cast his eyes upon the said bordels。
While I was in the stable; seeing to the putting up of the horses; my
son went off like a robber; and the servant was unable to tell me what
had become of him。 Then I was in great fear of the wenches; but had
confidence in the laws; which forbade them to admit such children。 At
supper…time the rascal came back to me looking no more ashamed of
himself than did our divine Saviour in the temple among the doctors。
〃'Whence comes you?' said I to him。
〃'From the houses with the red shutters;' he replied。
〃'Little blackguard;' said I; 'I'll give you a taste of the whip。'
〃Then he began to moan and cry。 I told him that if he would confess
all that had happened to him I would let him off the beating。
〃'Ha;' said he; 'I took care not to go in; because of the flying
chancres and other wild beasts。 I only looked through the chinks of
the windows; in order to see how men were manufactured。'
〃'And what did you see?' I asked。
〃'I saw;' said he; 'a fine woman just being finished; because she only
wanted one peg; which a young worker was fitting in with energy。
Directly she was finished she turned round; spoke to; and kissed her
manufacturer。'
〃'Have your supper;' said I; and the same night I returned into
Burgundy; and left him with his mother; being sorely afraid that at
the first town he might want to fit a peg into some girl。〃
〃These children often make these sort of answers;〃 said the Parisian。
〃One of my neighbour's children revealed the cuckoldom of his father
by a reply。 One day I asked; to see if he was well instructed at
school in religious matters; 'What is hope?' 'One of the king's big
archers; who comes here when father goes out;' said he。 Indeed; the
sergeant of the Archers was named Hope。 My friend was dumbfounded at
this; and; although to keep his countenance he looked in the mirror;
he could not see his horns there。〃
The baron observed that the boy's remark was good in this way: that
Hope is a person who comes to bed with us when the realities of life
are out of the way。
〃Is a cuckold made in the image of God?〃 asked the Burgundian。
〃No;〃 said the Parisian; 〃because God was wise in this respect; that
he took no wife; therefore is He happy through all eternity。〃
〃But;〃 said the maid…servant; 〃cuckolds are made in the image of God
before they are horned。〃
Then the three pilgrims began to curse women; saying that they were
the cause of all the evils in the world。
〃Their heads are as empty as helmets;〃 said the Burgundian。
〃Their hearts are as straight as bill…hooks;〃 said the Parisian。
〃Why are there so many men pilgrims and so few women pilgrims?〃 said
the German baron。
〃Their cursed member never sins;〃 replied the Parisian; 〃it knows
neither father nor mother; the commandments of God; nor those of the
Church; neither laws divine or human: their member knows no doctrine;
understands no heresies; and cannot be blamed; it is innocent of all;
and always on the laugh; its understanding is nil; and for this reason
do I hold it in utter detestation。〃
〃I also;〃 said the Burgundian; 〃and I begin to understand the
different reading by a learned man of the verses of the Bible; in
which the account of the creation is given。 In this Commentary; which
in my country we call a Noel; lies the reason of imperfection of this
feature of women; of which; different to that of other females; no man
can slake the thirst; such diabolical heat existing there。 In this
Noel is stated that the Lord God; having turned his head to look at a
donkey; who had brayed for the first time in his Paradise; while he
was manufacturing Eve; the devil seized this moment to put his finger
into this divine creature; and made a warm wound; which the Lord took
care to close with a stitch; from which comes the maid。 By means of
this frenum; the woman should remain closed; and children be made in
the same manner in which God made the angels; by a pleasure far above
carnal pleasure as the heaven is above the earth。 Observing this
closing; the devil; wild at being done; pinched the Sieur Adam; who
was asleep; by the skin; and stretched a portion of it out in
imitation of his diabolical tail; but as the father of man was on his
back this appendage came out in front。 Thus these two productions of
the devil had the desire to reunite themselves; following the law of
similarities which God had laid down for the conduct of the world。
From this came the first sin and the sorrows of the human race;
because God; noticing the devil's work; determined to see what would
come of it。〃
The servant declared that they were quite correct in the statements;
for that woman was a bad animal; and that she herself knew some who
were better under the ground than on it。 The pilgrims; noticing then
how pretty the girl was; were afraid of breaking their vows; and went
straight to bed。 The girl went and told her mistress she was
harbouring infidels; and told her what they had said about women。
〃Ah!〃 said the landlady; 〃what matters it to me the thoughts my
customers have in their brains; so long as their purses are well
filled。〃
And when the servant had told of the jewels; she exclaimed
〃Ah; these are questions which concern all women。 Let us go and reason
with them。 I'll take the nobles; you can have the citizen。〃
The landlady; who was the most shameless inhabitant of the duchy of
Milan; went into the chamber where the Sire de La Vaugrenand and the
German baron were sleeping; and congratulated them upon their vows;