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with his head bowed and his countenance averted from Mr。
Jansenius; who; attempting to scrutinize his features; could see
nothing but a patch of red handkerchief。

One of the policemen described how they had found Smilash in the
act of entering his dwelling; how he had refused to give any
information or to go to the college; and had defied them to take
him there against his will; and how; on their at last proposing
to send for the inspector and Mr。 Jansenius; he had called them
asses; and consented to accompany them。 The policeman concluded
by declaring that the man was either drunk or designing; as he
could not or would not speak sensibly。

〃Look here; governor;〃 began Smilash to the inspector; 〃I am a
common manno commoner goin'; as you may see for〃

〃That's 'im;〃 cried Wickens's boy; suddenly struck with a sense
of his own importance as a witness。 〃That's 'im that the lady
kissed; and that gev me tuppence and threatened to drownd me。〃

〃And with a 'umble and contrite 'art do I regret that I did not
drownd you; you young rascal;〃 said Smilash。 〃It ain't manners to
interrupt a man who; though common; might be your father for
years and wisdom。〃

〃Hold your tongue;〃 said the inspector to the boy。 〃Now; Smilash;
do you wish to make any statement? Be careful; for whatever you
say may be used against you hereafter。〃

〃If you was to lead me straight away to the scaffold; colonel; I
could tell you no more than the truth。 If any man can say that he
has heard Jeff Smilash tell a lie; let him stand forth。〃

〃We don't want to hear about that;〃 said the inspector。 〃As you
are a stranger in these parts; nobody here knows any bad of you。
No more do they know any good of you neither。〃

〃Colonel;〃 said Smilash; deeply impressed; 〃you have a
penetrating mind; and you know a bad character at sight。 Not to
deceive you; I am that given to lying; and laziness; and
self…indulgence of all sorts; that the only excuse I can find for
myself is that it is the nature of the race so to be; for most
men is just as bad as me; and some of 'em worsen I do not speak
pers'nal to you; governor; nor to the honorable gentlemen here
assembled。 But then you; colonel; are a hinspector of police;
which I take to be more than merely human; and as to the
gentlemen here; a gentleman ain't a manleastways not a common
manthe common man bein' but the slave wot feeds and clothes the
gentleman beyond the common。〃

〃Come;〃 said the inspector; unable to follow these observations;
〃you are a clever dodger; but you can't dodge me。 Have you any
statement to make with reference to the lady that was last seen
in your company?〃

〃Take a statement about a lady!〃 said Smilash indignantly。 〃Far
be the thought from my mind!〃

〃What have you done with her?〃 said Agatha; impetuously。 〃Don't
be silly。〃

〃You're not bound to answer that; you know;〃 said the inspector;
a little put out by Agatha's taking advantage of her
irresponsible unofficial position to come so directly to the
point。 〃You may if you like; though。 If you've done any harm;
you'd better hold your tongue。 If not; you'd better say so。〃

〃I will set the young lady's mind at rest respecting her
honorable sister;〃 said Smilash。 〃When the young lady caught
sight of me she fainted。 Bein' but a young man; and not used to
ladies; I will not deny but that I were a bit scared; and that my
mind were not open to the sensiblest considerations。 When she
unveils her orbs; so to speak; she ketches me round the neck; not
knowin' me from Adam the father of us all; and sez; 'Bring me
some water; and don't let the girls see me。' Through not 'avin'
the intelligence to think for myself; I done just what she told
me。 I ups with her in my armsshe bein' a light weight and a
slender figureand makes for the canal as fast as I could。 When
I got there; I lays her on the bank and goes for the water。 But
what with factories; and pollutions; and high civilizations of
one sort and another; English canal water ain't fit to sprinkle
on a lady; much less for her to drink。 Just then; as luck would
have it; a barge came along and took her aboard; and〃

〃To such a thing;〃 said Wickens's boy stubbornly; emboldened by
witnessing the effrontery of one apparently of his own class。 〃I
sor you two standin' together; and her a kissin' of you。 There
worn's no barge。〃

〃Is the maiden modesty of a born lady to be disbelieved on the
word of a common boy that only walks the earth by the sufferance
of the landlords and moneylords he helps to feed?〃 cried Smilash
indignantly。 〃Why; you young infidel; a lady ain't made of common
brick like you。 She don't know what a kiss means; and if she did;
is it likely that she'd kiss me when a fine man like the
inspector here would be only too happy to oblige her。 Fie; for
shame! The barge were red and yellow; with a green dragon for a
figurehead; and a white horse towin' of it。 Perhaps you're
color…blind; and can't distinguish red and yellow。 The bargee was
moved to compassion by the sight of the poor faintin' lady; and
the offer of 'arf…a…crown; and he had a mother that acted as a
mother should。 There was a cabin in that barge about as big as
the locker where your ladyship keeps your jam and pickles; and in
that locker the bargee lives; quite domestic; with his wife and
mother and five children。 Them canal boats is what you may call
the wooden walls of England。〃

〃Come; get on with your story;〃 said the inspector。 〃We know what
barges is as well as you。〃

〃I wish more knew of 'em;〃 retorted Smilash; 〃perhaps it 'ud
lighten your work a bit。 However; as I was sayin'; we went right
down the canal to Lyvern; where we got off; and the lady she took
the railway omnibus and went away in it。 With the noble
openhandedness of her class; she gave me sixpence; here it is; in
proof that my words is true。 And I wish her safe home; and if I
was on the rack I could tell no more; except that when I got back
I were laid hands on by these here bobbies; contrary to the
British constitooshun; and if your ladyship will kindly go to
where that constitooshun is wrote down; and find out wot it sez
about my rights and libertiesfor I have been told that the
working…man has his liberties; and have myself seen plenty took
with him you will oblige a common chap more than his education
will enable him to express。〃

〃Sir;〃 cried Mr。 Jansenius suddenly; 〃will you hold up your head
and look me in the face?〃

Smilash did so; and immediately started theatrically; exclaiming;
〃Whom do I see?〃

〃You would hardly believe it;〃 he continued; addressing the
company at large; 〃but I am well beknown to this honorable
gentleman。 I see it upon your lips; governor; to ask after my
missus; and I thank you for your condescending interest。 She is
well; sir; and my residence here is fully agreed upon between us。
What little cloud may have rose upon our domestic horizon has
past away; and; governor〃…here Smilash's voice fell with graver
emphasis〃them as interferes betwixt man and wife now will incur
a nevvy responsibility。 Here I am; such as you see me; and here I
mean to stay; likewise such as you see me。 That is; if what you
may call destiny permits。 For destiny is a rum thing; governor。 I
came here thinking it was the last place in the world I should
ever set eyes on you in; and blow me if you ain't a'most the
first person I pops on。〃

〃I do not choose to be a party to this mummery of〃

〃Asking your leave to take the word out of your mouth; governor;
I make you a party to nothink。 Respecting my past conduct; you
may out with it or you may keep it to yourself。 All I say is that
if you out with some of it I will out with the rest。 All or none。
You are free to tell the inspector here that I am a bad 'un。 His
penetrating mind have discovered that already。 But if you go into
names and particulars; you will not only be acting against the
wishes of my missus; but you will lead to my tellin' the whole
story right out afore everyone here; and then goin' away where no
one won't never find me。〃

〃I think the less said the better;〃 said Mrs。 Jansenius; uneasily
observant of the curiosity and surprise this dialogue was
causing。 〃But understand this; Mr。〃

〃Smilash; dear lady; Jeff Smilash。〃

〃Mr。 Smilash; whatever arrangement you may have made with your
wife; it has nothing to do with me。 You have behaved infamously;
and I desire to have as little as possible to say to you in
future! I desire to have nothing to say to younothing〃 said Mr。
Jansenius。 〃I look on your conduct as an insult to me;
personally。 You may live in any fashion you please; and where you
please。 All England is open to you except one placemy house。
Come; Ruth。〃 He offered his arm to his wife; she took it; and
they turned away; looking about for Agatha; who; disgusted at the
gaping curiosity of the rest; had pointedly withdrawn beyond
earshot of the conversation。

Miss Wilson looked from Smilashwho had watched Mr。 Jansenius's
explosion of wrath with friendly interest; as if it concerned him
as a curious spectator onlyto her two visitors as they
retreated。 〃Pray; do you consider this man's statement
satisfactory?〃 she said to them。 〃I do not。〃

〃I am far too common a man to be able to make any statement that
could satisfy a mind cultivated as yours has been;〃 said Smilash;
〃but I would 'umbly pint out to you that there is a boy yonder
with a telegram trying to shove hisself through the 'iborn
throng。〃

〃Miss Wilson!〃 cried the boy shrilly。

She took the telegram; read it; and frowned。 〃We have had all our
trouble for nothing; ladies and gentlemen;〃 she said; with
suppressed vexation。 〃Mrs。 Trefusis says here that she has gone
back to London。 She has not considered it necessary to add any
explanation。〃

There was a general murmur of disappointment。 

〃Don't lose heart; ladies;〃 said Smilash。 〃She may be drowned or
murdered for all we know。 Anyone may send a telegram in a false
name。 Perhaps it's a plant。 Let's hope for your sakes that some
little accidenton the railway; for instancemay happen yet。〃

Miss Wilson turned upon him; glad to find someone with whom she
might justly be angry。 〃You had better go about your business;〃
she said。 〃And don't 

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