lavengro-第3部分

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As　he　grew　up；　his　personal　appearance　became　less　prepossessing；　

his　quickness　and　cleverness；　however；　rather　increased；　and　I　may　

say　of　him；　that　with　respect　to　everything　which　he　took　in　hand　

he　did　it　better　and　more　speedily　than　any　other　person。　　Perhaps　

it　will　be　asked　here；　what　became　of　him？　　Alas！　alas！　his　was　an　

early　and　a　foreign　grave。　　As　I　have　said　before；　the　race　is　not　

always　for　the　swift；　nor　the　battle　for　the　strong。



And　now；　doubtless；　after　the　above　portrait　of　my　brother；　painted　

in　the　very　best　style　of　Rubens；　the　reader　will　conceive　himself　

justified　in　expecting　a　full…length　one　of　myself；　as　a　child；　for　

as　to　my　present　appearance；　I　suppose　he　will　be　tolerably　content　

with　that　flitting　glimpse　in　the　mirror。　　But　he　must　excuse　me；　I　

have　no　intention　of　drawing　a　portrait　of　myself　in　childhood；　

indeed　it　would　be　difficult；　for　at　that　time　I　never　looked　into　

mirrors。　　No　attempts；　however；　were　ever　made　to　steal　me　in　my　

infancy；　and　I　never　heard　that　my　parents　entertained　the　

slightest　apprehension　of　losing　me　by　the　hands　of　kidnappers；　

though　I　remember　perfectly　well　that　people　were　in　the　habit　of　

standing　still　to　look　at　me；　ay；　more　than　at　my　brother；　from　

which　premisses　the　reader　may　form　any　conclusion　with　respect　to　

my　appearance　which　seemeth　good　unto　him　and　reasonable。　　Should　

he；　being　a　good…natured　person；　and　always　inclined　to　adopt　the　

charitable　side　in　any　doubtful　point；　be　willing　to　suppose　that　

I；　too；　was　eminently　endowed　by　nature　with　personal　graces；　I　

tell　him　frankly　that　I　have　no　objection　whatever　to　his　

entertaining　that　idea；　moreover；　that　I　heartily　thank　him；　and　

shall　at　all　times　be　disposed；　under　similar　circumstances；　to　

exercise　the　same　species　of　charity　towards　himself。



With　respect　to　my　mind　and　its　qualities　I　shall　be　more　explicit；　

for；　were　I　to　maintain　much　reserve　on　this　point；　many　things　

which　appear　in　these　memoirs　would　be　highly　mysterious　to　the　

reader；　indeed　incomprehensible。　　Perhaps　no　two　individuals　were　

ever　more　unlike　in　mind　and　disposition　than　my　brother　and　

myself：　　as　light　is　opposed　to　darkness；　so　was　that　happy；　

brilliant；　cheerful　child　to　the　sad　and　melancholy　being　who　

sprang　from　the　same　stock　as　himself；　and　was　nurtured　by　the　same　

milk。



Once；　when　travelling　in　an　Alpine　country；　I　arrived　at　a　

considerable　elevation；　I　saw　in　the　distance；　far　below；　a　

beautiful　stream　hastening　to　the　ocean；　its　rapid　waters　here　

sparkling　in　the　sunshine；　and　there　tumbling　merrily　in　cascades。　　

On　its　banks　were　vineyards　and　cheerful　villages；　close　to　where　I　

stood；　in　a　granite　basin　with　steep　and　precipitous　sides；　

slumbered　a　deep；　dark　lagoon；　shaded　by　black　pines；　cypresses；　

and　yews。　　It　was　a　wild；　savage　spot；　strange　and　singular；　ravens　

hovered　above　the　pines；　filling　the　air　with　their　uncouth　notes；　

pies　chattered；　and　I　heard　the　cry　of　an　eagle　from　a　neighbouring　

peak；　there　lay　the　lake；　the　dark；　solitary；　and　almost　

inaccessible　lake；　gloomy　shadows　were　upon　it；　which；　strangely　

modified；　as　gusts　of　wind　agitated　the　surface；　occasionally　

assumed　the　shape　of　monsters。　　So　I　stood　on　the　Alpine　elevation；　

and　looked　now　on　the　gay　distant　river；　and　now　at　the　dark　

granite…encircled　lake　close　beside　me　in　the　lone　solitude；　and　I　

thought　of　my　brother　and　myself。　　I　am　no　moraliser；　but　the　gay　

and　rapid　river；　and　the　dark　and　silent　lake；　were；　of　a　verity；　

no　had　emblems　of　us　two。



So　far　from　being　quick　and　clever　like　my　brother；　and　able　to　

rival　the　literary　feat　which　I　have　recorded　of　him；　many　years　

elapsed　before　I　was　able　to　understand　the　nature　of　letters；　or　

to　connect　them。　　A　lover　of　nooks　and　retired　corners；　I　was　as　a　

child　in　the　habit　of　fleeing　from　society；　and　of　sitting　for　

hours　together　with　my　head　on　my　breast。　　What　I　was　thinking　

about；　it　would　be　difficult　to　say　at　this　distance　of　time；　I　

remember　perfectly　well；　however；　being　ever　conscious　of　a　

peculiar　heaviness　within　me；　and　at　times　of　a　strange　sensation　

of　fear；　which　occasionally　amounted　to　horror；　and　for　which　I　

could　assign　no　real　cause　whatever。



By　nature　slow　of　speech；　I　took　no　pleasure　in　conversation；　nor　

in　hearing　the　voices　of　my　fellow…creatures。　　When　people　

addressed　me；　I　not　unfrequently；　especially　if　they　were　

strangers；　turned　away　my　head　from　them；　and　if　they　persisted　in　

their　notice　burst　into　tears；　which　singularity　of　behaviour　by　no　

means　tended　to　dispose　people　in　my　favour。　　I　was　as　much　

disliked　as　my　brother　was　deservedly　beloved　and　admired。　　My　

parents；　it　is　true；　were　always　kind　to　me；　and　my　brother；　who　

was　good　nature　itself；　was　continually　lavishing　upon　me　every　

mark　of　affection。



There　was；　however；　one　individual　who；　in　the　days　of　my　

childhood；　was　disposed　to　form　a　favourable　opinion　of　me。　　One　

day；　a　Jew　…　I　have　quite　forgotten　the　circumstance；　but　I　was　

long　subsequently　informed　of　it　…　one　day　a　travelling　Jew　knocked　

at　the　door　of　a　farmhouse　in　which　we　had　taken　apartments；　I　was　

near　at　hand　sitting　in　the　bright　sunshine；　drawing　strange　lines　

on　the　dust　with　my　fingers；　an　ape　and　dog　were　my　companions；　the　

Jew　looked　at　me　and　asked　me　some　questions；　to　which；　though　I　

was　quite　able　to　speak；　I　returned　no　answer。　　On　the　door　being　

opened；　the　Jew；　after　a　few　words；　probably　relating　to　pedlery；　

demanded　who　the　child　was；　sitting　in　the　sun；　the　maid　replied　

that　I　was　her　mistress's　youngest　son；　a　child　weak　HERE；　pointing　

to　her　forehead。　　The　Jew　looked　at　me　again；　and　then　said：　　''Pon　

my　conscience；　my　dear；　I　believe　that　you　must　be　troubled　there　

yourself　to　tell　me　any　such　thing。　　It　is　not　my　habit　to　speak　to　

children；　inasmuch　as　I　hate　them；　because　they　often　follow　me　and　

fling　stones　after　me；　but　I　no　sooner　looked　at　that　child　than　I　

was　forced　to　speak　to　it　…　his　not　answering　me　shows　his　sense；　

for　it　has　never　been　the　custom　of　the　wise　to　fling　away　their　

words　in　indifferent　talk　and　conversation；　the　child　is　a　sweet　

child；　and　has　all　the　look　of　one　of　our　people's　children。　　Fool；　

indeed！　did　I　not　see　his　eyes　sparkle　just　now　when　the　monkey　

seized　the　dog　by　the　ear？　…　they　shone　like　my　own　diamonds　…　does　

your　good　lady　want　any　…　real　and　fine？　　Were　it　not　for　what　you　

tell　me；　I　should　say　it　was　a　prophet's　child。　　Fool；　indeed！　he　

can　write　already；　or　I'll　forfeit　the　box　which　I　carry　on　my　

back；　and　for　which　I　should　be　loth　to　take　two　hundred　pounds！'　　

He　then　leaned　forward　to　inspect　the　lines　which　I　had　traced。　　

All　of　a　sudden　he　started　back；　and　grew　white　as　a　sheet；　then；　

taking　off　his　hat；　he　made　some　strange　gestures　to　me；　cringing；　

chattering；　and　showing　his　teeth；　and　shortly　departed；　muttering　

something　about　'holy　letters；'　and　talking　to　himself　in　a　strange　

tongue。　　The　words　of　the　Jew　were　in　due　course　of　time　reported　

to　my　mother；　who　treasured　them　in　her　heart；　and　from　that　moment　

began　to　entertain　brighter　hopes　of　her　youngest　born　than　she　had　

ever　before　ventured　to　foster。







CHAPTER　II







Barracks　and　lodgings　…　A　camp　…　The　viper　…　A　delicate　child　…　

Blackberry　time　…　MEUN　and　TUUM　…　Hythe　…　The　Golgotha　…　Daneman's　

skull　…　Superhuman　stature　…　Stirring　times　…　The　sea…bord。



I　HAVE　been　a　wanderer　the　greater　part　of　my　life；　indeed　I　

remember　only　two　periods；　and　these　by　no　means　lengthy；　when　I　

was；　strictly　speaking；　stationary。　　I　was　a　soldier's　son；　and　as　

the　means　of　my　father　were　by　no　means　sufficient　to　support　two　

establishments；　his　family　invariably　attended　him　wherever　he　

went；　so　that　from　my　infancy　I　was　accustomed　to　travelling　and　

wandering；　and　looked　upon　a　monthly　change　of　scene　and　residence　

as　a　matter　of　course。　　Sometimes　we　lived　in　barracks；　sometimes　

in　lodgings；　but　generally　in　the　former；　always　eschewing　the　

latter　from　motives　of　economy；　save　when　the　barracks　were　

inconvenient　and　uncomfortable；　and　they　must　have　been　highly　so　

indeed；　to　have　discouraged　us　from　entering　them；　for　though　we　

were　gentry　（pray　bear　that　in　mind；　gentle　reader）；　gentry　by　

birth；　and　incontestably　so　by　my　father's　bearing　the　commission　

of　good　old　George　the　Third；　we　were　not　FINE　GENTRY；　but　people　

who　could　put　up　with　as　much　as　any　genteel　Scotch　family　who　find　

it　convenient　to　live　on　a　third　floor　in　London；　or　on　a　sixth　at　

Edinburgh　or　Glasgow。　　It　was　not　a　little　that　could　discourage　

us：　　we　once　lived　within　the　canvas　walls　of　a　camp；　at　a　place　

called　Pett；　in　Sussex；　and　I　believe　it　was　at　this　place　that　

occurred　the　first　circumstance；　or　adventure；　call　it　which　you　

will；　that　I　can　remember　in　connection　with　myself：　　it　was　a　

strange　one；　and　I　will　relate　it。



It　happened　that　my　brother　and　myself　were　playing　one　evening　in　

a　sandy　lane；　in　the　neighbourhood　of　this　Pett　camp；　our　mother　

was　at　a　slight　distance。　　All　of　a　sudden；　a　bright　yellow；　and；　

to　my　infantine　eye；　beautiful　and　glorious；　object　made　its　

appearance　at　the　top　of　the　bank　from　between　the　thick　quickset；　

and；　gliding　down；　began　to　move　across　the　lane　to　the　other　side；　

like　a　line　of　golden　light。　　Uttering　a　cry　of　pleasure；　I　sprang　

forward；　and　seized　it　nearly　by　the　middle。　　A　strange　sensation　

of　numbing　coldness　seemed　to　pervade　my　whole　arm；　which　surprised　

me　the　more；　as　the　object　to　the　eye　appeared　so　warm　and　sunlike。　　

I　did　not　drop　it；　however；　but；　holding　it　up；　looked　at　it　

intently；　as　its　head　dangled　about　a　foot　from　my　hand。　　It　made　

no　resistance；　I　felt　not　even　the　slightest　struggle；　but　now　my　

brother　began　to　scream