lavengro-第41部分

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who；　sent　into　the　field　to　labour；　passes　his　time　in　flinging　

stones　at　the　birds　of　heaven。'



'I　would　scorn　to　fling　a　stone　at　a　bird；　father。'



'You　know　what　I　mean；　and　all　too　well；　and　this　attempt　to　evade　

deserved　reproof　by　feigned　simplicity　is　quite　in　character　with　

your　general　behaviour。　　I　have　ever　observed　about　you　a　want　of　

frankness；　which　has　distressed　me；　you　never　speak　of　what　you　are　

about；　your　hopes；　or　your　projects；　but　cover　yourself　with　

mystery。　　I　never　knew　till　the　present　moment　that　you　were　

acquainted　with　Armenian。'



'Because　you　never　asked　me；　father；　there's　nothing　to　conceal　in　

the　matter　…　I　will　tell　you　in　a　moment　how　I　came　to　learn　

Armenian。　　A　lady　whom　I　met　at　one　of　Mrs。　…'s　parties　took　a　

fancy　to　me；　and　has　done　me　the　honour　to　allow　me　to　go　and　see　

her　sometimes。　　She　is　the　widow　of　a　rich　clergyman；　and　on　her　

husband's　death　came　to　this　place　to　live；　bringing　her　husband's　

library　with　her：　　I　soon　found　my　way　to　it；　and　examined　every　

book。　　Her　husband　must　have　been　a　learned　man；　for　amongst　much　

Greek　and　Hebrew　I　found　several　volumes　in　Armenian；　or　relating　

to　the　language。'



'And　why　did　you　not　tell　me　of　this　before？'



'Because　you　never　questioned　me；　but；　I　repeat；　there　is　nothing　

to　conceal　in　the　matter。　　The　lady　took　a　fancy　to　me；　and；　being　

fond　of　the　arts；　drew　my　portrait；　she　said　the　expression　of　my　

countenance　put　her　in　mind　of　Alfieri's　Saul。'



'And　do　you　still　visit　her？'



'No；　she　soon　grew　tired　of　me；　and　told　people　that　she　found　me　

very　stupid；　she　gave　me　the　Armenian　books；　however。'



'Saul；'　said　my　father；　musingly；　'Saul。　　I　am　afraid　she　was　only　

too　right　there；　he　disobeyed　the　commands　of　his　master；　and　

brought　down　on　his　head　the　vengeance　of　Heaven　…　he　became　a　

maniac；　prophesied；　and　flung　weapons　about　him。'



'He　was；　indeed；　an　awful　character　…　I　hope　I　shan't　turn　out　like　

him。'



'God　forbid！'　said　my　father；　solemnly；　'but　in　many　respects　you　

are　headstrong　and　disobedient　like　him。　　I　placed　you　in　a　

profession；　and　besought　you　to　make　yourself　master　of　it　by　

giving　it　your　undivided　attention。　　This；　however；　you　did　not　do；　

you　know　nothing　of　it；　but　tell　me　that　you　are　acquainted　with　

Armenian；　but　what　I　dislike　most　is　your　want　of　candour　…　you　are　

my　son；　but　I　know　little　of　your　real　history；　you　may　know　fifty　

things　for　what　I　am　aware：　　you　may　know　how　to　shoe　a　horse　for　

what　I　am　aware。'



'Not　only　to　shoe　a　horse；　father；　but　to　make　horse…shoes。'



'Perhaps　so；'　said　my　father；　'and　it　only　serves　to　prove　what　I　

was　just　saying；　that　I　know　little　about　you。'



'But　you　easily　may；　my　dear　father；　I　will　tell　you　anything　that　

you　may　wish　to　know　…　shall　I　inform　you　how　I　learnt　to　make　

horse…shoes？'



'No；'　said　my　father；　'as　you　kept　it　a　secret　so　long；　it　may　as　

well　continue　so　still。　　Had　you　been　a　frank；　open…hearted　boy；　

like　one　I　could　name；　you　would　have　told　me　all　about　it　of　your　

own　accord。　　But　I　now　wish　to　ask　you　a　serious　question　…　what　do　

you　propose　to　do？'



'To　do；　father？'



'Yes！　the　time　for　which　you　were　articled　to　your　profession　will　

soon　be　expired；　and　I　shall　be　no　more。'



'Do　not　talk　so；　my　dear　father；　I　have　no　doubt　that　you　will　soon　

be　better。'



'Do　not　flatter　yourself；　I　feel　that　my　days　are　numbered；　I　am　

soon　going　to　my　rest；　and　I　have　need　of　rest；　for　I　am　weary。　　

There；　there；　don't　weep！　　Tears　will　help　me　as　little　as　they　

will　you；　you　have　not　yet　answered　my　question。　　Tell　me　what　you　

intend　to　do？'



'I　really　do　not　know　what　I　shall　do。'



'The　military　pension　which　I　enjoy　will　cease　with　my　life。　　The　

property　which　I　shall　leave　behind　me　will　be　barely　sufficient　

for　the　maintenance　of　your　mother　respectably。　　I　again　ask　you　

what　you　intend　to　do。　　Do　you　think　you　can　support　yourself　by　

your　Armenian　or　your　other　acquirements？'



'Alas！　　I　think　little　at　all　about　it；　but　I　suppose　I　must　push　

into　the　world；　and　make　a　good　fight；　as　becomes　the　son　of　him　

who　fought　Big　Ben；　if　I　can't　succeed；　and　am　driven　to　the　worst；　

it　is　but　dying　…　'



'What　do　you　mean　by　dying？'



'Leaving　the　world；　my　loss　would　scarcely　be　felt。　　I　have　never　

held　life　in　much　value；　and　every　one　has　a　right　to　dispose　as　he　

thinks　best　of　that　which　is　his　own。'



'Ah！　now　I　understand　you；　and　well　I　know　how　and　where　you　

imbibed　that　horrible　doctrine；　and　many　similar　ones　which　I　have　

heard　from　your　mouth；　but　I　wish　not　to　reproach　you　…　I　view　in　

your　conduct　a　punishment　for　my　own　sins；　and　I　bow　to　the　will　of　

God。　　Few　and　evil　have　been　my　days　upon　the　earth；　little　have　I　

done　to　which　I　can　look　back　with　satisfaction。　　It　is　true　I　have　

served　my　king　fifty　years；　and　I　have　fought　with　…　Heaven　forgive　

me；　what　was　I　about　to　say！　…　but　you　mentioned　the　man's　name；　

and　our　minds　willingly　recall　our　ancient　follies。　　Few　and　evil　

have　been　my　days　upon　earth；　I　may　say　with　Jacob　of　old；　though　I　

do　not　mean　to　say　that　my　case　is　so　hard　as　his；　he　had　many　

undutiful　children；　whilst　I　have　only　…；　but　I　will　not　reproach　

you。　　I　have　also　like　him　a　son　to　whom　I　can　look　with　hope；　who　

may　yet　preserve　my　name　when　I　am　gone；　so　let　me　be　thankful；　

perhaps；　after　all；　I　have　not　lived　in　vain。　　Boy；　when　I　am　gone；　

look　up　to　your　brother；　and　may　God　bless　you　both！　　There；　don't　

weep；　but　take　the　Bible；　and　read　me　something　about　the　old　man　

and　his　children。'



My　brother　had　now　been　absent　for　the　space　of　three　years。　　At　

first　his　letters　had　been　frequent；　and　from　them　it　appeared　that　

he　was　following　his　profession　in　London　with　industry；　they　then　

became　rather　rare；　and　my　father　did　not　always　communicate　their　

contents。　　His　last　letter；　however；　had　filled　him　and　our　whole　

little　family　with　joy；　it　was　dated　from　Paris；　and　the　writer　was　

evidently　in　high　spirits。　　After　describing　in　eloquent　terms　the　

beauties　and　gaieties　of　the　French　capital；　he　informed　us　how　he　

had　plenty　of　money；　having　copied　a　celebrated　picture　of　one　of　

the　Italian　masters　for　a　Hungarian　nobleman；　for　which　he　had　

received　a　large　sum。　　'He　wishes　me　to　go　with　him　to　Italy；'　

added　he；　'but　I　am　fond　of　independence；　and；　if　ever　I　visit　old　

Rome；　I　will　have　no　patrons　near　me　to　distract　my　attention。'　　

But　six　months　had　now　elapsed　from　the　date　of　this　letter；　and　we　

had　heard　no　further　intelligence　of　my　brother。　　My　father's　

complaint　increased；　the　gout；　his　principal　enemy；　occasionally　

mounted　high　up　in　his　system；　and　we　had　considerable　difficulty　

in　keeping　it　from　the　stomach；　where　it　generally　proves　fatal。　　I　

now　devoted　almost　the　whole　of　my　time　to　my　father；　on　whom　his　

faithful　partner　also　lavished　every　attention　and　care。　　I　read　

the　Bible　to　him；　which　was　his　chief　delight；　and　also　

occasionally　such　other　books　as　I　thought　might　prove　entertaining　

to　him。　　His　spirits　were　generally　rather　depressed。　　The　absence　

of　my　brother　appeared　to　prey　upon　his　mind。　　'I　wish　he　were　

here；'　he　would　frequently　exclaim；　'I　can't　imagine　what　can　have　

become　of　him；　I　trust；　however；　he　will　arrive　in　time。'　　He　still　

sometimes　rallied；　and　I　took　advantage　of　those　moments　of　

comparative　ease　to　question　him　upon　the　events　of　his　early　life。　　

My　attentions　to　him　had　not　passed　unnoticed；　and　he　was　kind；　

fatherly；　and　unreserved。　　I　had　never　known　my　father　so　

entertaining　as　at　these　moments；　when　his　life　was　but　too　

evidently　drawing　to　a　close。　　I　had　no　idea　that　he　knew　and　had　

seen　so　much；　my　respect　for　him　increased；　and　I　looked　upon　him　

almost　with　admiration。　　His　anecdotes　were　in　general　highly　

curious；　some　of　them　related　to　people　in　the　highest　stations；　

and　to　men　whose　names　were　closely　connected　with　some　of　the　

brightest　glories　of　our　native　land。　　He　had　frequently　conversed　

…　almost　on　terms　of　familiarity　…　with　good　old　George。　　He　had　

known　the　conqueror　of　Tippoo　Saib；　and　was　the　friend　of　

Townshend；　who；　when　Wolfe　fell；　led　the　British　grenadiers　against　

the　shrinking　regiments　of　Montcalm。　　'Pity；'　he　added；　'that　when　

old　…　old　as　I　am　now　…　he　should　have　driven　his　own　son　mad　by　

robbing　him　of　his　plighted　bride；　but　so　it　was；　he　married　his　

son's　bride。　　I　saw　him　lead　her　to　the　altar；　if　ever　there　was　an　

angelic　countenance；　it　was　that　girl's；　she　was　almost　too　fair　to　

be　one　of　the　daughters　of　women。　　Is　there　anything；　boy；　that　you　

would　wish　to　ask　me？　now　is　the　time。'



'Yes；　father；　there　is　one　about　whom　I　would　fain　question　you。'



'Who　is　it？　shall　I　tell　you　about　Elliot？'



'No；　father；　not　about　Elliot；　but　pray　don't　be　angry；　I　should　

like　to　know　something　about　Big　Ben。'



'You　are　a　strange　lad；'　said　my　father；　'and；　though　of　late　I　

have　begun　to　entertain　a　more　favourable　opinion　than　heretofore；　

there　is　still　much　about　you　that　I　do　not　understand。　　Why　do　you　

bring　up　that　name？　　Don't　you　know　that　it　is　one　of　my　

temptations：　　you　wish　to　know　something　about　him。　　Well！　　I　will　

oblige　you　this　once；　and　then　farewell　to　such　vanities　…　

something　about　him。　　I　will　tell　you　…　his　…　skin　when　he　flung　

off　his　clothes　…　and　he　had　a　particular　knack　in　doing　so　…　his　

skin；　when　he　bared　his　mighty　chest　and　back　for　combat；　and　when　

he　fought　he　stood；　so　。　。　。　。　if　I　remember　right　…　his　skin；　I　

say；　was　brown　and　dusky　as　that　of　a　toad。　　Oh　me！　　I　wish　my　

elder　son　was　here。'







CHAPTER　XXVIII







My　brother's　arrival　…　The　interview　…　Night　…　A　dying　father　…　

Christ。



AT　last　my　brother　arrived；　he　looked　pale　a