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which they have lately received from T… of my progress in oratory; 

that; in the warmth of their hearts; they made me a present 

yesterday of two hundred pounds。  This is more money than I want; 

at least for the present; do me the favour to take half of it as a 

loan … hear me;' said he; observing that I was about to interrupt 

him; 'I have a plan in my head … one of the prettiest in the world。  

The sister of my charmer is just arrived from France; she cannot 

speak a word of English; and; as Annette and myself are much 

engaged in our own matters; we cannot pay her the attention which 

we should wish; and which she deserves; for she is a truly 

fascinating creature; although somewhat differing from my charmer; 

having blue eyes and flaxen hair; whilst; Annette; on the contrary 

… But I hope you will shortly see Annette。  Now; my plan is this … 

Take the money; dress yourself fashionably; and conduct Annette's 

sister to Bagnigge Wells。'



'And what should we do at Bagnigge Wells?'



'Do!' said Francis Ardry。  'Dance!'



'But;' said I; 'I scarcely know anything of dancing。'



'Then here's an excellent opportunity of improving yourself。  Like 

most Frenchwomen; she dances divinely; however; if you object to 

Bagnigge Wells and dancing; go to Brighton; and remain there a 

month or two; at the end of which time you can return with your 

mind refreshed and invigorated; and materials; perhaps; for a tale 

or novel。'



'I never heard a more foolish; plan;' said I; 'or one less likely 

to terminate profitably or satisfactorily。  I thank you; however; 

for your offer; which is; I daresay; well meant。  If I am to escape 

from my cares and troubles; and find my mind refreshed and 

invigorated; I must adopt other means than conducting a French 

demoiselle to Brighton or Bagnigge Wells; defraying the expense by 

borrowing from a friend。'







CHAPTER XLIX







Singular personage … A large sum … Papa of Rome … We are Christians 

… Degenerate Armenians … Roots of Ararat … Regular features。



THE Armenian!  I frequently saw this individual; availing myself of 

the permission which he had given me to call upon him。  A truly 

singular personage was he; with his love of amassing money; and his 

nationality so strong as to be akin to poetry。  Many an Armenian I 

have subsequently known fond of money…getting; and not destitute of 

national spirit; but never another; who; in the midst of his 

schemes of lucre; was at all times willing to enter into a 

conversation on the structure of the Haik language; or who ever 

offered me money to render into English the fables of Z… in the 

hope of astonishing the stock…jobbers of the Exchange with the 

wisdom of the Haik Esop。



But he was fond of money; very fond。  Within a little time I had 

won his confidence to such a degree that he informed me that the 

grand wish of his heart was to be possessed of two hundred thousand 

pounds。



'I think you might satisfy yourself with the half;' said I。  'One 

hundred thousand pounds is a large sum。'



'You are mistaken;' said the Armenian; 'a hundred thousand pounds 

is nothing。  My father left me that or more at his death。  No; I 

shall never be satisfied with less than two。'



'And what will you do with your riches;' said I; 'when you have 

obtained them?  Will you sit down and muse upon them; or will you 

deposit them in a cellar; and go down once a day to stare at them?  

I have heard say that the fulfilment of one's wishes is invariably 

the precursor of extreme misery; and forsooth I can scarcely 

conceive a more horrible state of existence than to be without a 

hope or wish。'



'It is bad enough; I daresay;' said the Armenian; 'it will; 

however; be time enough to think of disposing of the money when I 

have procured it。  I still fall short by a vast sum of the two 

hundred thousand pounds。'



I had occasionally much conversation with him on the state and 

prospects of his nation; especially of that part of it which still 

continued in the original country of the Haiks … Ararat and its 

confines; which; it appeared; he had frequently visited。  He 

informed me that since the death of the last Haik monarch; which 

occurred in the eleventh century; Armenia had been governed both 

temporally and spiritually by certain personages called patriarchs; 

their temporal authority; however; was much circumscribed by the 

Persian and Turk; especially the former; of whom the Armenian spoke 

with much hatred; whilst their spiritual authority had at various 

times been considerably undermined by the emissaries of the Papa of 

Rome; as the Armenian called him。



'The Papa of Rome sent his emissaries at an early period amongst 

us;' said the Armenian; 'seducing the minds of weak…headed people; 

persuading them that the hillocks of Rome are higher than the 

ridges of Ararat; that the Roman Papa has more to say in heaven 

than the Armenian patriarch; and that puny Latin is a better 

language than nervous and sonorous Haik。'



'They are both dialects;' said I; 'of the language of Mr。 

Petulengro; one of whose race I believe to have been the original 

founder of Rome; but; with respect to religion; what are the chief 

points of your faith? you are Christians; I believe。'



'Yes;' said the Armenian; 'we are Christians in our way; we believe 

in God; the Holy Spirit; and Saviour; though we are not prepared to 

admit that the last personage is not only himself; but the other 

two。  We believe 。 。 。' and then the Armenian told me of several 

things which the Haiks believed or disbelieved。  'But what we find 

most hard of all to believe;' said he; 'is that the man of the 

mole…hills is entitled to our allegiance; he not being a Haik; or 

understanding the Haik language。'



'But; by your own confession;' said I; 'he has introduced a schism 

in your nation; and has amongst you many that believe in him。'



'It is true;' said the Armenian; I that even on the confines of 

Ararat there are a great number who consider that mountain to be 

lower than the hillocks of Rome; but the greater number of 

degenerate Armenians are to be found amongst those who have 

wandered to the west; most of the Haik churches of the west 

consider Rome to be higher than Ararat … most of the Armenians of 

this place hold that dogma; I; however; have always stood firm in 

the contrary opinion。



'Ha! ha!' … here the Armenian laughed in his peculiar manner … 

'talking of this matter puts me in mind of an adventure which 

lately befell me; with one of the emissaries of the Papa of Rome; 

for the Papa of Rome has at present many emissaries in this 

country; in order to seduce the people from their own quiet 

religion to the savage heresy of Rome; this fellow came to me 

partly in the hope of converting me; but principally to extort 

money for the purpose of furthering the designs of Rome in this 

country。  I humoured the fellow at first; keeping him in play for 

nearly a month; deceiving and laughing at him。  At last he 

discovered that he could make nothing of me; and departed with the 

scowl of Caiaphas; whilst I cried after him; 'The roots of Ararat 

are DEEPER than those of Rome。'



The Armenian had occasionally reverted to the subject of the 

translation of the Haik Esop; which he had still a lurking desire 

that I should execute; but I had invariably declined the 

undertaking; without; however; stating my reasons。  On one 

occasion; when we had been conversing on the subject; the Armenian; 

who had been observing my countenance for some time with much 

attention; remarked; 'Perhaps; after all; you are right; and you 

might employ your time to better advantage。  Literature is a fine 

thing; especially Haik literature; but neither that nor any other 

would be likely to serve as a foundation to a man's fortune:  and 

to make a fortune should be the principal aim of every one's life; 

therefore listen to me。  Accept a seat at the desk opposite to my 

Moldavian clerk; and receive the rudiments of a merchant's 

education。  You shall be instructed in the Armenian way of doing 

business … I think you would make an excellent merchant。'



'Why do you think so?'



'Because you have something of the Armenian look。'



'I understand you;' said I; 'you mean to say that I squint!'



'Not exactly;' said the Armenian; 'but there is certainly a kind of 

irregularity in your features。  One eye appears to me larger than 

the other … never mind; but rather rejoice; in that irregularity 

consists your strength。  All people with regular features are 

fools; it is very hard for them; you'll say; but there is no help:  

all we can do; who are not in such a predicament; is to pity those 

who are。  Well! will you accept my offer?  No! you are a singular 

individual; but I must not forget my own concerns。  I must now go 

forth; having an appointment by which I hope to make money。'







CHAPTER L







Wish fulfilled … Extraordinary figure … Bueno … Noah … The two 

faces … I don't blame him … Too fond of money … Were I an Armenian。



THE fulfilment of the Armenian's grand wish was nearer at hand than 

either he or I had anticipated。  Partly owing to the success of a 

bold speculation; in which he had some time previously engaged; and 

partly owing to the bequest of a large sum of money by one of his 

nation who died at this period in Paris; he found himself in the 

possession of a fortune somewhat exceeding two hundred thousand 

pounds; this fact he communicated to me one evening about an hour 

after the close of 'Change; the hour at which I generally called; 

and at which I mostly found him at home。



'Well;' said I; 'and what do you intend to do next?'



'I scarcely know;' said the Armenian。  'I was thinking of that when 

you came in。  I don't see anything that I can do; save going on in 

my former cours

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