50 bab ballads-第12部分
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At any astounding yarn；
By darning their dear eyes roundly
（'T was all they had to darn）。
They 〃hoisted their slacks；〃 adjusting
Garments of plantain…leaves
With nautical twitches （as if they wore breeches；
Instead of a dress like EVE'S！）
They shivered their timbers proudly；
At a phantom forelock dragged；
And called for a hornpipe loudly
Whenever amusement flagged。
〃Hum！ Golly！ him POP resemble；
Him Britisher sov'reign； hum！
CALAMITY POP VON PEPPERMINT DROP；
De King of Canoodle…Dum！〃
The mariner's lively 〃Hollo！〃
Enlivened Canoodle's plain
（For blessings unnumbered follow
In Civilization's train）。
But Fortune； who loves a bathos；
A terrible ending planned；
For ADMIRAL D。 CHICKABIDDY； C。B。；
Placed foot on Canoodle land！
That rebel； he seized KING GOWLER；
He threatened his royal brains；
And put him aboard the HOWLER；
And fastened him down with chains。
The HOWLER she weighed her anchor；
With FREDERICK nicely nailed；
And off to the North with WILLIAM THE FOURTH
These horrible pirates sailed。
CALAMITY said （with folly）；
〃Hum！ nebber want him again …
Him civilize all of us； golly！
CALAMITY suck him brain！〃
The people； however； were pained when
They saw him aboard his ship；
But none of them wept for their FREDDY； except
HUM PICKETY WIMPLE TIP。
Ballad： THE MARTINET。
SOME time ago； in simple verse
I sang the story true
Of CAPTAIN REECE； the MANTELPIECE；
And all her happy crew。
I showed how any captain may
Attach his men to him；
If he but heeds their smallest needs；
And studies every whim。
Now mark how； by Draconic rule
And HAUTEUR ill…advised；
The noblest crew upon the Blue
May be demoralized。
When his ungrateful country placed
Kind REECE upon half…pay；
Without much claim SIR BERKELY came；
And took command one day。
SIR BERKELY was a martinet …
A stern unyielding soul …
Who ruled his ship by dint of whip
And horrible black…hole。
A sailor who was overcome
From having freely dined；
And chanced to reel when at the wheel；
He instantly confined！
And tars who； when an action raged；
Appeared alarmed or scared；
And those below who wished to go；
He very seldom spared。
E'en he who smote his officer
For punishment was booked；
And mutinies upon the seas
He rarely overlooked。
In short； the happy MANTELPIECE；
Where all had gone so well；
Beneath that fool SIR BERKELY'S rule
Became a floating hell。
When first SIR BERKELY came aboard
He read a speech to all；
And told them how he'd made a vow
To act on duty's call。
Then WILLIAM LEE； he up and said
（The Captain's coxswain he）；
〃We've heard the speech your honour's made；
And werry pleased we be。
〃We won't pretend； my lad； as how
We're glad to lose our REECE；
Urbane； polite； he suited quite
The saucy MANTELPIECE。
〃But if your honour gives your mind
To study all our ways；
With dance and song we'll jog along
As in those happy days。
〃I like your honour's looks； and feel
You're worthy of your sword。
Your hand； my lad … I'm doosid glad
To welcome you aboard！〃
SIR BERKELY looked amazed； as though
He didn't understand。
〃Don't shake your head；〃 good WILLIAM said；
〃It is an honest hand。
〃It's grasped a better hand than yourn …
Come； gov'nor； I insist！〃
The Captain stared … the coxswain glared …
The hand became a fist！
〃Down； upstart！〃 said the hardy salt；
But BERKELY dodged his aim；
And made him go in chains below：
The seamen murmured 〃Shame！〃
He stopped all songs at 12 p。m。；
Stopped hornpipes when at sea；
And swore his cot （or bunk） should not
Be used by aught than he。
He never joined their daily mess；
Nor asked them to his own；
But chaffed in gay and social way
The officers alone。
His First Lieutenant； PETER； was
As useless as could be；
A helpless stick； and always sick
When there was any sea。
This First Lieutenant proved to be
His foster…sister MAY；
Who went to sea for love of he
In masculine array。
And when he learnt the curious fact；
Did he emotion show；
Or dry her tears or end her fears
By marrying her？ No！
Or did he even try to soothe
This maiden in her teens？
Oh； no！ … instead he made her wed
The Sergeant of Marines！
Of course such Spartan discipline
Would make an angel fret；
They drew a lot； and WILLIAM shot
This fearful martinet。
The Admiralty saw how ill
They'd treated CAPTAIN REECE；
He was restored once more aboard
The saucy MANTELPIECE。
Ballad： THE SAILOR BOY TO HIS LASS。
I GO away this blessed day；
To sail across the sea； MATILDA！
My vessel starts for various parts
At twenty after three； MATILDA。
I hardly know where we may go；
Or if it's near or far； MATILDA；
For CAPTAIN HYDE does not confide
In any 'fore…mast tar； MATILDA！
Beneath my ban that mystic man
Shall suffer； COUTE QUI COUTE； MATILDA！
What right has he to keep from me
The Admiralty route； MATILDA？
Because； forsooth！ I am a youth
Of common sailors' lot； MATILDA！
Am I a man on human plan
Designed； or am I not； MATILDA？
But there； my lass； we'll let that pass！
With anxious love I burn； MATILDA。
I want to know if we shall go
To church when I return； MATILDA？
Your eyes are red； you bow your head；
It's pretty clear you thirst； MATILDA；
To name the day … What's that you say？
… 〃You'll see me further first；〃 MATILDA？
I can't mistake the signs you make；
Although you barely speak； MATILDA；
Though pure and young； you thrust your tongue
Right in your pretty cheek； MATILDA！
My dear； I fear I hear you sneer …
I do … I'm sure I do； MATILDA！
With simple grace you make a face；
Ejaculating； 〃Ugh！〃 MATILDA。
Oh； pause to think before you drink
The dregs of Lethe's cup； MATILDA！
Remember； do； what I've gone through；
Before you give me up； MATILDA！
Recall again the mental pain
Of what I've had to do； MATILDA！
And be assured that I've endured
It； all along of you； MATILDA！
Do you forget； my blithesome pet；
How once with jealous rage； MATILDA；
I watched you walk and gaily talk
With some one thrice your age； MATILDA？
You squatted free upon his knee；
A sight that made me sad； MATILDA！
You pinched his cheek with friendly tweak；
Which almost drove me mad； MATILDA！
I knew him not； but hoped to spot
Some man you thought to wed； MATILDA！
I took a gun； my darling one；
And shot him through the head； MATILDA！
I'm made of stuff that's rough and gruff
Enough； I own； but； ah； MATILDA！
It DID annoy your sailor boy
To find it was your pa； MATILDA！
I've passed a life of toil and strife；
And disappointments deep； MATILDA；
I've lain awake with dental ache
Until I fell asleep； MATILDA！
At times again I've missed a train；
Or p'rhaps run short of tin； MATILDA；
And worn a boot on corns that shoot；
Or； shaving； cut my chin； MATILDA。
But； oh！ no trains … no dental pains …
Believe me when I say； MATILDA；
No corns that shoot … no pinching boot
Upon a summer day； MATILDA …
It's my belief； could cause such grief
As that I've suffered for； MATILDA；
My having shot in vital spot
Your old progenitor； MATILDA。
Bethink you how I've kept the vow
I made one winter day； MATILDA …
That； come what could； I never would
Remain too long away； MATILDA。
And； oh！ the crimes with which； at times；
I've charged my gentle mind； MATILDA；
To keep the vow I made … and now
You treat me so unkind； MATILDA！
For when at sea； off Caribbee；
I felt my passion burn； MATILDA；
By passion egged； I went and begged
The captain to return； MATILDA。
And when； my pet； I couldn't get
That captain to agree； MATILDA；
Right through a sort of open port
I pitched him in the sea； MATILDA！
Remember； too； how all the crew
With indignation blind； MATILDA；
Distinctly swore they ne'er before
Had thought me so unkind； MATILDA。
And how they'd shun me one by one …
An unforgiving group； MATILDA …
I stopped their howls and sulky scowls
By pizening their soup； MATILDA！
So pause to think； before you drink
The dregs of Lethe's cup； MATILDA；
Remember； do； what I've gone through；
Before you give me up； MATILDA。
Recall again the mental pain
Of what I've had to do； MATILDA；
And be assured that I've endured
It； all along of you； MATILDA！
Ballad： THE REVEREND SIMON MAGUS。
A RICH advowson； highly prized；
For private sale was advertised；
And many a parson made a bid；
The REVEREND SIMON MAGUS did。
He sought the agent's： 〃Agent； I
Have come prepared at once to buy
（If your demand is not too big）
The Cure of Otium…cum…Digge。〃
〃Ah！〃 said the agent； 〃THERE'S a berth …
The snuggest vicarage on earth；
No sort of duty （so I hear）；
And fifteen hundred pounds a year！
〃If on the price we should agree；
The living soon will vacant be；
The good incumbent's ninety five；
And cannot very long survive。
See … here's his photograph … you see；
He's in his dotage。〃 〃Ah； dear me！
Poor soul！〃 said SIMON。 〃His decease
Would be a merciful release！〃
The agent laughed … the agent blinked …
The agent blew his nose and winked …
And poked the parson's ribs in play …
It was that agent's vulgar way。
The REVEREND SIMON frowned： 〃I grieve
This light demeanour to perceive；
It's scarcely COMME IL FAUT； I think：
Now … pray oblige me … do not wink。
〃Don't dig my waistcoat into holes …
Your mission is to sell the souls
Of human sheep and human kids
To that divine who highest bids。
〃Do well in this； and on your head
Unnumbered honours will be shed。〃
The agent said； 〃Well； truth to tell；
I HAVE been doing very well。〃
〃You should；〃 said SIMON； 〃at your age；
But now about the parsonage。
How many rooms does it contai
