50 bab ballads-第3部分
按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页,按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页,按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部!
————未阅读完?加入书签已便下次继续阅读!
And show that what is true of each;
Is also true of all; together。
〃Then I shall demonstrate to you;
According to the rules of WHATELY;
That what is true of all; is true
Of each; considered separately。〃
In lavish stream his accents flow;
TOM; BOB; and BILLY dare not flout him;
He argued high; he argued low;
He also argued round about him。
〃Ha; ha!〃 he said; 〃you loathe your ways;
You writhe at these my words of warning;
In agony your hands you raise。〃
(And so they did; for they were yawning。)
To 〃Twenty…firstly〃 on they go;
The lads do not attempt to scout him;
He argued high; he argued low;
He also argued round about him。
〃Ho; ho!〃 he cries; 〃you bow your crests …
My eloquence has set you weeping;
In shame you bend upon your breasts!〃
(And so they did; for they were sleeping。)
He proved them this … he proved them that …
This good but wearisome ascetic;
He jumped and thumped upon his hat;
He was so very energetic。
His Bishop at this moment chanced
To pass; and found the road encumbered;
He noticed how the Churchman danced;
And how his congregation slumbered。
The hundred and eleventh head
The priest completed of his stricture;
〃Oh; bosh!〃 the worthy Bishop said;
And walked him off as in the picture。
Ballad: THE YARN OF THE 〃NANCY BELL。〃 (1)
'TWAS on the shores that round our coast
From Deal to Ramsgate span;
That I found alone on a piece of stone
An elderly naval man。
His hair was weedy; his beard was long;
And weedy and long was he;
And I heard this wight on the shore recite;
In a singular minor key:
〃Oh; I am a cook and a captain bold;
And the mate of the NANCY brig;
And a bo'sun tight; and a midshipmite;
And the crew of the captain's gig。〃
And he shook his fists and he tore his hair;
Till I really felt afraid;
For I couldn't help thinking the man had been drinking;
And so I simply said:
〃Oh; elderly man; it's little I know
Of the duties of men of the sea;
And I'll eat my hand if I understand
However you can be
〃At once a cook; and a captain bold;
And the mate of the NANCY brig;
And a bo'sun tight; and a midshipmite;
And the crew of the captain's gig。〃
Then he gave a hitch to his trousers; which
Is a trick all seamen larn;
And having got rid of a thumping quid;
He spun this painful yarn:
〃'Twas in the good ship NANCY BELL
That we sailed to the Indian Sea;
And there on a reef we come to grief;
Which has often occurred to me。
〃And pretty nigh all the crew was drowned
(There was seventy…seven o' soul);
And only ten of the NANCY'S men
Said 'Here!' to the muster…roll。
〃There was me and the cook and the captain bold;
And the mate of the NANCY brig;
And the bo'sun tight; and a midshipmite;
And the crew of the captain's gig。
〃For a month we'd neither wittles nor drink;
Till a…hungry we did feel;
So we drawed a lot; and; accordin' shot
The captain for our meal。
〃The next lot fell to the NANCY'S mate;
And a delicate dish he made;
Then our appetite with the midshipmite
We seven survivors stayed。
〃And then we murdered the bo'sun tight;
And he much resembled pig;
Then we wittled free; did the cook and me;
On the crew of the captain's gig。
〃Then only the cook and me was left;
And the delicate question; 'Which
Of us two goes to the kettle?' arose;
And we argued it out as sich。
〃For I loved that cook as a brother; I did;
And the cook he worshipped me;
But we'd both be blowed if we'd either be stowed
In the other chap's hold; you see。
〃'I'll be eat if you dines off me;' says TOM;
'Yes; that;' says I; 'you'll be; …
'I'm boiled if I die; my friend;' quoth I;
And 'Exactly so;' quoth he。
〃Says he; 'Dear JAMES; to murder me
Were a foolish thing to do;
For don't you see that you can't cook ME;
While I can … and will … cook YOU!'
〃So he boils the water; and takes the salt
And the pepper in portions true
(Which he never forgot); and some chopped shalot。
And some sage and parsley too。
〃'Come here;' says he; with a proper pride;
Which his smiling features tell;
''T will soothing be if I let you see
How extremely nice you'll smell。'
〃And he stirred it round and round and round;
And he sniffed at the foaming froth;
When I ups with his heels; and smothers his squeals
In the scum of the boiling broth。
〃And I eat that cook in a week or less;
And … as I eating be
The last of his chops; why; I almost drops;
For a wessel in sight I see!
* * * *
〃And I never larf; and I never smile;
And I never lark nor play;
But sit and croak; and a single joke
I have … which is to say:
〃Oh; I am a cook and a captain bold;
And the mate of the NANCY brig;
And a bo'sun tight; and a midshipmite;
And the crew of the captain's gig!'〃
Ballad: THE BISHOP OF RUM…TI…FOO。
FROM east and south the holy clan
Of Bishops gathered to a man;
To Synod; called Pan…Anglican;
In flocking crowds they came。
Among them was a Bishop; who
Had lately been appointed to
The balmy isle of Rum…ti…Foo;
And PETER was his name。
His people … twenty…three in sum …
They played the eloquent tum…tum;
And lived on scalps served up; in rum …
The only sauce they knew。
When first good BISHOP PETER came
(For PETER was that Bishop's name);
To humour them; he did the same
As they of Rum…ti…Foo。
His flock; I've often heard him tell;
(His name was PETER) loved him well;
And; summoned by the sound of bell;
In crowds together came。
〃Oh; massa; why you go away?
Oh; MASSA PETER; please to stay。〃
(They called him PETER; people say;
Because it was his name。)
He told them all good boys to be;
And sailed away across the sea;
At London Bridge that Bishop he
Arrived one Tuesday night;
And as that night he homeward strode
To his Pan…Anglican abode;
He passed along the Borough Road;
And saw a gruesome sight。
He saw a crowd assembled round
A person dancing on the ground;
Who straight began to leap and bound
With all his might and main。
To see that dancing man he stopped;
Who twirled and wriggled; skipped and hopped;
Then down incontinently dropped;
And then sprang up again。
The Bishop chuckled at the sight。
〃This style of dancing would delight
A simple Rum…ti…Foozleite。
I'll learn it if I can;
To please the tribe when I get back。〃
He begged the man to teach his knack。
〃Right Reverend Sir; in half a crack!
Replied that dancing man。
The dancing man he worked away;
And taught the Bishop every day …
The dancer skipped like any fay …
Good PETER did the same。
The Bishop buckled to his task;
With BATTEMENTS; and PAS DE BASQUE。
(I'll tell you; if you care to ask;
That PETER was his name。)
〃Come; walk like this;〃 the dancer said;
〃Stick out your toes … stick in your head;
Stalk on with quick; galvanic tread …
Your fingers thus extend;
The attitude's considered quaint。〃
The weary Bishop; feeling faint;
Replied; 〃I do not say it ain't;
But 'Time!' my Christian friend!〃
〃We now proceed to something new …
Dance as the PAYNES and LAURIS do;
Like this … one; two … one; two … one; two。〃
The Bishop; never proud;
But in an overwhelming heat
(His name was PETER; I repeat)
Performed the PAYNE and LAURI feat;
And puffed his thanks aloud。
Another game the dancer planned …
〃Just take your ankle in your hand;
And try; my lord; if you can stand …
Your body stiff and stark。
If; when revisiting your see;
You learnt to hop on shore … like me …
The novelty would striking be;
And must attract remark。〃
〃No;〃 said the worthy Bishop; 〃no;
That is a length to which; I trow;
Colonial Bishops cannot go。
You may express surprise
At finding Bishops deal in pride …
But if that trick I ever tried;
I should appear undignified
In Rum…ti…Foozle's eyes。
〃The islanders of Rum…ti…Foo
Are well…conducted persons; who
Approve a joke as much as you;
And laugh at it as such;
But if they saw their Bishop land;
His leg supported in his hand;
The joke they wouldn't understand …
'T would pain them very much!〃
Ballad: THE PRECOCIOUS BABY。 A VERY TRUE TALE。
(TO BE SUNG TO THE AIR OF THE 〃WHISTLING OYSTER。〃)
AN elderly person … a prophet by trade …
With his quips and tips
On withered old lips;
He married a young and a beautiful maid;
The cunning old blade!
Though rather decayed;
He married a beautiful; beautiful maid。
She was only eighteen; and as fair as could be;
With her tempting smiles
And maidenly wiles;
And he was a trifle past seventy…three:
Now what she could see
Is a puzzle to me;
In a prophet of seventy … seventy…three!
Of all their acquaintances bidden (or bad)
With their loud high jinks
And underbred winks;
None thought they'd a family have … but they had;
A dear little lad
Who drove 'em half mad;
For he turned out a horribly fast little cad。
For when he was born he astonished all by;
With their 〃Law; dear me!〃
〃Did ever you see?〃
He'd a pipe in his mouth and a glass in his eye;
A hat all awry …
An octagon tie …
And a miniature … miniature glass in his eye。
He grumbled at wearing a frock and a cap;
With his 〃Oh; dear; oh!〃
And his 〃Hang it! 'oo know!〃
And he turned up his nose at his excellent pap …
〃My friends; it's a tap
Dat is not worf a rap。〃
(Now this was remarkably excellent pap。)
He'd chuck his nurse under the chin; and he'd say;
With his 〃Fal; lal; lal〃 …
〃'Oo doosed fine gal!〃
This shocking precocity drove 'em away:
〃A month from to…day
Is as long as I'll stay …
Then I'd wish; if you please; for to toddle away。〃
His father; a simple old gentleman; he
With nursery rhyme
And 〃Once on a time;〃
Would tell him the story of 〃Little